I didn’t have to.
“I knew that mannish boy was nothing but trouble.”
“But he wasn’t, Minnie. He woke me up, and... I think… I think I might…” I couldn’t say the words out loud, but that didn’t matter either.
Minnie nodded knowingly. “I know. I know.”
She sighed and let her head sag between her shoulders. She held that position for a long moment, then turned, opened the freezer, and pulled out the half-empty bottle of whiskey. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, she poured herself some coffee and sweetened it with a generous pour.
I ate, and she drank, and when both my plate and her mug were empty, she set her piercing blue eyes on me.
“So, what do you want, Darcy? What do you want to do about this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you think you might be in love with this boy, and he’s always been in love with you, so what do you want? What are you going to do about it?”
“He’s my son’s best friend, Minnie. His very best friend! It doesn’t matter what I want. There’s nothing to do.”
“Of course, there is.”
“No, there isn’t. We can’t be together.”
“And why? Why can’t you be together? What are you afraid of?”
“Uh… I could destroy my relationship with my only son, and he’d could lose his best friend for something that might only be a fling.”
“So, don’t tell him. Don’t tell Jared.”
“Minerva!”
“What? It’s not like it’s something you haven’t already done.”
I stared at her in disbelief. Was she drunk already? “But that was just one night. I can’t do that to Tommy. He deserves better than to be treated like some dirty secret.”
“Have you asked him about this?”
“Why would I? It’s not like I can—”
“Again, why not? If you take the time to figure out if this thing between the two of you is real before you bring it to Jared, I can’t see him denying you or Tommy happiness.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t ask Tommy to do that. He deserved to be loved out loud.
“No, that’s not an option. Besides, he basically told me he was going to Costa Rica to get over this thing.”
“Hm.” Minerva reached for the whiskey bottle again, but she didn’t bother with the coffee this time as she poured some in each of our mugs. “Costa Rica…is a long way away from everything and everyone he knows.” Her eyes met mine over the rim of her mug as she brought it to her lips. “And everyone you know, too,” she added.
“It is, I guess…” My mug was halfway to my mouth before I realized what she was saying. The suggestion that she’d left unsaid. It was far away from everything and everyone we knew. If I went with him, I could love him out loud. We could test the waters to see if what we felt for each other had a future.
His caustic words came back to me as I took a sip of the whiskey.
What the fuck do you expect me to do with that, Darcy?
The question was if he would even want me to join him.
It had been a long time since I’d been to The Cocktail Bar. Shannon had always liked it more than I did. And as it turned out, he brought Jolene here when I wasn’t around so I felt it was best to meet her at the place she felt most comfortable to deliver my news. Not that finally agreeing to sell my real estate business and give her a share of the profits was bad news. She’d wanted me to sell when we were settling Shannon’s estate, but I wasn’t ready to do it then. But now I was about to blow my life up, and I needed the money from the sale to finance it.
Blowing up my life…
I had to stop thinking of it that way. Starting over in your fifties was completely normal. There were plenty of women who reinvented themselves and launched successful second careers at my age. Except I wasn’t selling my business to start something new. I was just chasing a man to Costa Rica. A man that I wasn’t even brave enough to call and share that plan with.
I was wrong before. This was how you lost your mind.
Jolene was late, per usual, so I ordered a drink and sipped it until she came through the door. As she searched the room, I caught a glimpse of what Shannon probably saw in her when they first met. She couldn’t have always been this desperate version of herself, grasping at the scraps and edges of someone else’s life.
“Darcy,” she said as she pulled out her chair and sat. We were alone, so she didn’t bother to perform her good graces or place the usual perfunctory kiss on my cheek.
“Jolene,” I said, returning her greeting as I signaled to the waiter. “I ordered you a drink.”
“Thanks,” she said, accepting the drink with a wary frown on her brow. “So why did you want me to meet you here? What’s this about?”
“I’ve found a buyer for MacFarland Brokerage.”
The furrow in Jolene’s brow deepened which was a feat considering the amount of money she spent on botox. “A buyer? I wasn’t aware that you were selling. I thought you said—”
“I know what I said, but…circumstances have changed.” I looked down into my glass. “I have changed,” I added.
“I see.” She picked up her glass and swirled the brown liquid, making the ice tinkle a bit. “I’m a bit surprised. You were totally against it when we were in probate.”
“That was when the business was still new, and it was my only source of income. That’s not the case anymore. Like I said, my circumstances have changed, and—”
“You’ve changed,” she interrupted before I could repeat myself. “I heard you the first time. But if I know one thing about you, Darcy MacFarland, it’s that you hate change. What inspired this? Have you met someone?”
I smirked and picked up my glass. “It doesn’t matter what inspired it, but I’m ready to sever our ties. I thought this would be great news for you. You so wanted to have things completely severed in the past.”
“Hm,” she grunted. “Well… I hate to break it to you, but we’ll never be completely severed. Your son and my son are family.”
“I know,” I said with a nod. “Jared is starting his own family now, and I think it’s time for me to be a bit selfish. I’ve always envied that.”
“Envied what?”
“Your selfishness. You’ve always gone after anything and anyone you wanted with little regard for consequences. I’ve always wished I could be that selfish. I guess now is as good a time as any to start.” Thinking about what she just said, something occurred to me that I’d never considered before. I shifted in my seat and leaned forward, bracing my elbows on the table. “You know… I don’t know much about you, Jolene. We met under the worst circumstances so there is little chance that we will ever be besties who brunch together on Sunday’s after church.”
The younger woman rolled her eyes. “You’re right about that.”
I smiled. “But just now… I realized that you’re not the villain I made you out to be.”
“Oh, really? What changed your mind?”
“What you just said about our sons. You want a family for Dylan.”
The corners of her mouth wobbled a bit. “I think that’s what every mother wants, isn’t it?”
“It is,” I agreed with a nod. “Which is why I’m done hating you, Jojo. You loved Shannon, too. He lied to you, too. You lost him, too. We’re no different.” I reached into my bag, pulled out the purchase agreement, and set it on the table. “Everything is all laid out for you. If you have any questions or problems, I need you to let me know before the end of the week.”
“Before the end of the week?” she echoed incredulously. “Today is Wednesday. I need more time to look this over—”
“By Friday close of business, Jolene,” I said, standing up from the table. “I need that signed by Friday close of business.”
“Darcy… I don’t understand. What’s the rush? Why can’t I get this back to you next week?”
I picked up my glass and drank the last
of my cocktail. “I will be out of the country next week.”
“Out of the country?” she parroted. “For how long?”
I shrugged and gave her a smile. “Hopefully, indefinitely.”
19
Tomás
Warm, inviting light shone from the windows of Jared and Brandi’s home as I rang the doorbell. Standing on their stoop, I considered that by this time tomorrow, I would be in Costa Rica. Everything was planned. The tickets had been purchased, the villa reserved, my bags were packed. Everything was set up to keep Son of Martin running smoothly while I was gone. Tropical heat, palm trees, and La Pura Vida awaited me. Still, the thought of leaving had my stomach in knots. I hadn’t figured out why. It wasn’t as if this was the first time I’d ever left home or traveled abroad. The trip had no end date, but it wasn’t as if I was never coming back. My friends and family would be here when I figured things out. But for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this decision had some gravity or finality to it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake that feeling, and it made me reluctant to leave. Regardless, Brandi had decided that this Friendsgiving dinner would also be a going-away party for me.
Friendsgiving.
I was still trying to decide if that was a label you assigned to a group of misfits and strays that didn’t have anywhere to go for the holidays. Normally I ate with my family — a dinner full of nontraditional Thanksgiving fare — then I went to the bar to watch the game with my brother. But this year, Jared and Brandi were hosting. A first since he usually spent the holidays in Charleston with Darcy. What was she doing for the holidays without him there? Probably spending it with her parents and the rest of her extended family. The pictures I saw on her Instagram timeline earlier this month implied that much, but I’d also noticed that she looked a little tense and sad in those photos.
Any excuse to obsess over her.
I recognized it for what it was, though. The sort of obsession a kid would have over his hot English teacher. My first crush had been hard to shake, and this thing with Darcy was no different. If I allowed myself to talk about her every time she crossed my mind, Jared would know how I felt about her even if I never said the actual words. Holding that back from him put a strain on our friendship, so I knew that it didn’t matter if I was ready to leave. It was time to go.
“Hey!” Brandi exclaimed, offering a big smile as she opened the door wearing a sweater with a turkey appliquéd across the front.
I laughed. “Hey, Bran. I came bearing gifts.”
“What? I told you not to bring anything! We have everything covered.”
“Are you sure? Because I can absolutely take my mom’s tamales home and polish them off myself before getting on the plane in the morning.”
“Hold on now. Your mother’s tamales? Let’s not be hasty. These tamales are apparently legendary, according to Jared.” She confiscated the Tupperware dish full of the tamales my mother and sister had made to ensure that I didn’t show up empty-handed. “Come in! You’re the last one here, and there’s someone I want you to meet.”
I shrugged off my coat and hung it on the overloaded coat tree in the entryway, then followed her into the family room. Whoever she wanted me to meet was definitely someone she’d been trying to hook me up with for a while. I didn’t really see the point since I was leaving tomorrow, but hey, maybe I would be interested enough to knock the dust off before I hopped on the plane. I still felt like a stud on parade when I entered the room behind her.
“Caitlin, Tomika, this is Jared’s friend Tomás.”
“Heyyy…” I said awkwardly, giving the girls an awkward wave.
Caitlin was a petite blonde with big, blue eyes and a pair of lips on her that could easily inspire some filthy thoughts if you were inclined to do so. “Hi,” she said, thrusting out her hand with an eager bounce.
Cute. Too young, but cute. “Nice to meet you, Caitlin.”
“Excuse me if I don’t get up. I just finished an eighteen-hour shift,” Tomika said from her spot on the couch.
Hm. Tomika looked like my type. Dark-skinned with a close-cropped haircut on a head that would fit easily in the palm of my hand. Her brown eyes did look tired, though, and she seemed very comfortable, reclined as she was in the corner of the couch.
“I’ll come to you then.” I walked around the coffee table, and she sat up slowly like a queen who had been disturbed while in repose. A smirk twitched the corner of her mouth upward as she presented her hand.
“Nice to finally meet you.” Her voice had a rich depth to it that reminded me a bit of Darcy’s — minus the Southern accent, of course.
Jesus… Can I make it more than ten minutes without thinking of her?
“So you’re the one Brandi wanted me to meet,” I said, attempting to flirt with her. I wasn’t failing at it, but I was a little rusty.
“I am indeed. We would have met a lot sooner, but you have some sort of issue with doctors.”
“Not an issue with doctors, per se—”
“You do have an issue with doctors,” Brandi cosigned.
“How dare you imply that I’m prejudice against doctors? Some of my best friends are doctors!” I exclaimed, which drew a cackle from redolent Queen on the couch.
“Yeah, right…” Brandi said as she made her way to the kitchen.
“As I was saying, I don’t have an issue with doctors. You just work crazy hours. Seems like you all don’t have time to date people who aren’t in the same profession.”
Tomika’s smirk stretched into a smile as she sank back onto the couch cushions. “We do work crazy hours, which means we have to get creative. Are you creative, Tomás?” she asked. Her gaze took a trip down the length of my body that woke up something in me that had been sleeping for the last few months. I didn’t know if it was enough to act on, but I was definitely curious.
“I’ve been accused of being creative in the past,” I answered finally.
The sliding glass door to the patio slid open. “Aye!” Jared bellowed. “Good! You’re here. You can come help me with this fried turkey.”
The fire pit was roaring out back, and Jared thrust a beer into my hand the moment I stepped outside. A few more of his doctor friends that I’d met at one time or another were huddled around the fire, but he pulled me away from them after I said my hellos. He’d been strange about the news of my trip to Costa Rica, even though he was the one who suggested it. Maybe he hadn’t anticipated that I would be gone indefinitely. To be honest, I hadn’t, either. But when I made the reservations, I thought it was important not to put a deadline on this period of growth in any way. This trip was about me finding myself, and who knew how long that would take?
“Sorry about that whole Tomika situation. I told Brandi it was pointless, but she seems convinced that Mika will change your mind about leaving.”
I chuckled and glanced back at the striking beauty still reclined on the couch.
Jared gave me a sidelong glance with one brow raised. “Did it work?” he asked.
“I mean, she’s sexy as fuck and definitely seems interesting, but…” I let the thought trail off as I shook my head.
“I didn’t think so,” Jared said with a laugh. But his laugh sounded strange. A bit forced. “I think Brandi is taking this a little hard, so excuse her if she goes a little overboard today.”
“I expected nothing less,” I said, taking a swig of my beer.
“What did you decide to do with your condo?”
“Juana’s gonna move in.”
He gave me another look. “You serious? You’re so particular about your space. I can’t believe you’re gonna let lil’ sis move in. You know she’s gonna trash it, right?”
“Eh… I thought about that, but honestly, I’ll probably end up selling it to her in the end. When I come back—”
“If you come back,” Jared corrected.
“No, when I come the fuck back,” I reiterated, “I don’t think I’m gonna want to move back in there.”
“Wow, you’re really burning it all down, huh?”
“Isn’t that what you suggested?”
“I said take a fucking vacation, Tomás. Not fall off the grid,” he spat.
“Well, I have the kind of life that requires a real disconnect. Believe me, if this could be resolved with a seven-day cruise, I would’ve done that.”
“So you’re clear on what you need to escape now?”
“Definitely. I was always clear on that,” I said with a nod.
“Care to share?”
“Nope.”
“Figured as much,” he said, a smile quirking the corners of his mouth as he brought his beer to his lips. “You’re good, though, right?”
“I mean, yeah. I’m fine. Just a little anxious, I guess. It’s a big trip. I had to put a lot of things in motion to make sure my business continues to run smoothly in my absence. It’s just a lot. I’m not used to so much…chaos.”
“Chaos?” Jared questioned. “Most people would call it an adventure.”
“I know. I’m trying to embrace that. Embrace the uncertainty.”
“I get it. Me and mom talked about it, too. She says that you shared some things with her while we were in Charleston that may have led to this.”
A scoff escaped me before I could rein it in. “Yeah, that trip to Charleston kinda highlighted the fact that my life has been on pause for a while. And when I got back, seeing you with Bran and noticing that almost everyone around me was settled and happy really drove it home for me.”
“So, that’s why you’re going to Costa Rica? To find a wife?”
I laughed but took a moment to give that some thought. “I’m going to Costa Rica to find my fucking self, but if I find a wife in the process, that’ll be a bonus.”
“Well, I hope it works out for you, Tomás. I mean, I’m still pissed that you’re leaving, and I’m gonna miss you, but I hope you find what you’re looking for down there. It’s been unnerving to have the most optimistic guy I know lose that.”
“I know. Thanks, Jay,” I said, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
If She Says Yes Page 19
