There was something that rammed into my shoulder. I opened my eyes, turned my head, and was relieved to see it was only Vinur nudging me with his muzzle. While he was gentle, there was something about his behavior that made it seem like the manner was urgent. I slowly sat up, though my back ached while I moved. As I winced in pain I realized Alaire was lying several feet away from me. He lay motionless, and thus I crawled toward him. Fearing I would experience more agony, I did not dare attempt standing. My feet felt numb and raw; I took off my sandals without another thought.
Crawling next to Alaire, I brushed away the hair in front of his face. His eyes were closed, but there was something about him lying there, facing me, that felt wrong. I forced myself into a sitting position, wincing as my back ached with a stinging pain. Carefully, I extended my hand out to him and lightly tapped his shoulder. He didn’t move.
“Alaire, can you hear me? Are you ill; is there any pain you feel?” I asked as my voice shook.
No response.
My heartbeat rose as I considered the possibilities. Perhaps his fall had been more brutal than mine. There were several minor bruises on his arms and more severe scratches to accompany those. I glanced over his body, contemplating what else might be wrong with him. There was a glimmer reflecting in my eyes, and I looked down to see a dagger that had cut through the fabric in Alaire’s boots. I didn’t recall having seen the dagger before, but it had just barely missed cutting through his skin.
Biting my lip, I removed the dagger while saying, “It’s all right, I’m right here with you. We survived the fall. I have to know that you’re well; just give me a sign.”
Again, there was silence. I threw the dagger to my side and dropped my head on his shoulder. He had to be alive; he couldn’t be dead when I survived the fall.
Please be alive. Let him live, let him live, I thought. With my eyes closed, I reached for his neck and held two fingers against it. There was a pulse, a steady one, but he was alive.
Vinur whinnied as he lowered his legs to lie beside Alaire. I opened my eyes and grunted at him, thankful that he was there with me and we weren’t alone.
Suddenly, there was a faint cough. I gazed over at Alaire, watching as his eyes opened and his lips shivered to say something.
“Celestria…” he clutched my hand. “Is this Heaven...?”
In a lower voice he said, “Or Hell?”
Chapter Fourteen
Awake
There was a long, deafening scream that escaped Alaire’s lips. Chills went down my spine as I listened. He gritted his teeth together and attempted to move, but he rolled onto his back and let out another howl. Panting, he tightened his grip on my hand and then at last released it.
“There’s a dagger in my boot. Get it…and give it to me,” he said.
When I hesitated, he snapped, “Get it now!”
I lifted the dagger from the ground and handed it to him. He attempted to sit up, but the pain in his face was evident. Handing the dagger to me, he grimaced as he spoke, as if each word caused more pain.
“My right leg… Something’s wrong with it. I need you to cut open my pants; I’d do it myself, but the pain is too strong,” he said.
I took hold of the handle and lowered it to his pants. Carefully, I cut away the fabric, exposing his leg. His knee was swollen and bruised, but the remainder of his leg appeared to be normal. Cutting away the fabric on his other leg, I checked to be certain that not both of his knees had been injured from the fall. Fortunately, only his right knee was damaged.
“What happened for Vinur to kick us off? You must have twisted your leg somehow to be bruised like this,” I commented.
Alaire’s eyes glanced down at his body, but he couldn’t lift his head to see the injury. I held out my arms and offered to assist him, yet the moment I tried to move him again he cried out in agony. If he wasn’t able to sit up, I doubted he’d be able to walk much less move from where he lay.
“While we were riding there was a blinding light that suddenly appeared. It must have shined right into Vinur’s eyes and scared him so badly he threw us. I don’t think I can walk, but I can point you in the direction of Grefin’s,” he said.
“Grefin is your friend?” I asked, avoiding the statement about walking. While my back wasn’t as stiff as before and the feeling in my feet was returning, I could not continue on without Alaire. He was my companion now, and leaving him in the field alone wasn’t an option. It was too empty out in the field, and for all we knew there might be wild animals that prowled around at night.
“Yes, he has a healer who lives with him… and he’s a doctor; he’ll know what to do,” Alaire grumbled.
“You need help, but I can’t leave you here on your own. What if an animal attacks you or someone decides to travel through here? You are in no condition to be making decisions,” I said.
Even though Grefin had a healer, it would be impossible to journey with Alaire. It wouldn’t be possible to sit him on Vinur when he could barely move to begin with. I considered carrying him, but Mergental might be hours away and he was larger built than me.
Reaching his arm out to caress the side of my face, he pleaded, “Celestria, please, call for help. I can’t bear the pain forever… Don’t let me die like this.”
I froze, staring into his innocent, compassionate eyes. All of his attention was directed to me, and for the faintest instant it felt like I had known this man my entire life. His honey colored eyes must have been a feature all the women in his hometown had adored, and I could see why anyone would fall for them.
Cursing at myself, I shook my head of these distracting thoughts and returned to him. Despite the feel of my cheeks burning, I said, “I won’t let you die; I would never let that happen.”
“Then help me. Please, I’m begging you,” he tugged on the sleeve of my dress as he spoke.
“Hush, allow me to think. There must be some way we can send for help without leaving you alone…”
Glancing around, I noticed the wheat field had long been isolated. The wheat was dead and the ground was dry, suggesting that perhaps there had been a drought near the city. There was barely any color in the faded field, but Vinur’s white body stood out boldly. He remained by Alaire’s side, loyal as ever, and his body seemed to glow as the sunlight beamed on him.
Vinur was nothing more than an ordinary horse, but he had always been the first at Alaire’s side during a time of danger. It didn’t take an expert to see that the horse’s bond with his master was special.
“You’ve had this horse for a long time, yes?” I asked.
“Yes, but—”
I interrupted him while consumed with the thoughts of a new idea. “Your horse seems to know his way around, even without your guidance, so if we sent him to Grefin’s then he’d know something is wrong. This might actually work!”
He laughed for an instant, “Ridiculous.”
“We don’t have any other option. I refuse to leave you, so Vinur will have to travel for our sake. He’s smarter than you think; he knows you’re in danger,” I countered, though I wasn’t talking from experience with animals.
Whether Grefin had seen Alaire’s horse before or not, there had to be a way for him to prove he belonged to Alaire. There wasn’t any material we had to write on, and there was no other way we could mark him. It had to be something else that would stand out and represent Alaire. What could it be? There were Alaire’s boots or his vivid white tunic. It needed to be something significant. It needed to be…
Suddenly it came to me as if it were on the tip of my tongue. The necklace; it was something I had noticed from the start. Being silver with a black cross, it didn’t seem like the kind of jewelry anyone would wear. The problem was determining if it would be something that Grefin would recognize.
“Your necklace! We’ll place it on Vinur somehow. Will Grefin recognize it as yours?” I asked as I used both hands to force myself off of the ground.
“I’m not sure. What if it fa
lls off of Vinur?” he responded.
In all truth I had not thought that far. Surely there had to be some way we could use the necklace to our advantage, but it was small and could easily fall off the horse.
“We can cut some fabric from my shirt and use it to tie the necklace in Vinur’s mane,” he offered.
I nodded eagerly at the idea. Looking down at Vinur, I wondered how I could order him to stand again. I clapped my hands, but the horse stared at me without moving a muscle. Alaire snickered and then whistled, and Vinur instantly returned to stand on his hooves. I moved forward, stroking the horse’s forehead and looking into his large black eyes. Slowly, I lowered my hand from him and bent down to reach around Alaire’s neck. He said nothing to me, and I did not wait for permission. After several attempts, I unclasped the necklace from around his neck. Next, I grabbed the dagger once more and cut away some fabric from the arm sleeve of his tunic.
Just as I returned to stand, Alaire called out, “Here.”
I turned around to see a ring in the palm of his hand.
“It’s a nice idea, but it would be lost long before he reaches Grefin,” I said as I tried to tie the piece of fabric into Vinur’s mane.
“No, please keep it.”
Just as I was about to refuse he finished with, “For me.”
“Why?”
Alaire winced and whispered, “Because no matter what happens, I have to know there is someone I can trust with my life. I trust you. Please… this is important.”
At last I formed a durable knot around both the necklace and Vinur’s mane. To ensure that everything would stay in place, I clasped the necklace onto the top of the fabric as well so that it would not fall out during the journey.
Then I knelt down to Alaire and held out my hand; he dropped the ring in my palm. It was silver with what appeared to be a black gemstone in the center. Without giving it much thought, I placed it on the third finger of my right hand and then asked for Alaire to command his horse. For now there was no harm in me holding onto the ring.
In a stern voice, Alaire said, “Grefin… go to him now.”
Vinur remained motionless for a moment as if to debate whether to obey or not. At last he jotted past us at a steady speed and began the journey ahead of him. I had no idea if he would go to Grefin, but Vinur was loyal to his master and that was all we had to rely on. As I snatched up the sandals I had taken off earlier, Alaire told me that Vinur and he traveled to Grefin’s many times before, that he would surely find his way. I noticed the canteen, which held the small amount of water we had left, nearby my sandals. Picking it up, I brought that along with me.
As I returned to sit beside Alaire, I realized that once the moon rose it would be Alaire and I alone. I was not afraid of him, and that alone was frightening enough. He was a good man and he trusted me, but I didn’t fully trust my own judgment with the night quickly approaching. Anything could happen between us, and in truth I had never spent an entire night alone with a man.
Pushing those thoughts aside, I asked, “How’s the pain?”
“I’m alive; that’s all that matters,” he said, forcing a weak smile. Sweat dripped down from his temple, and the dark bruise on his leg would not heal itself. Leaking a few drops of water from the canteen on my hand, I patted Alaire’s face.
“Save the water for an emergency, and don’t light a fire tonight. We can’t risk giving away our location to anyone who might be a threat,” he explained as he gently pushed away my hand.
Nodding my head, I returned my attention to the darkening sky as I placed the canteen above our heads. Briefly I smiled, respecting him because even in his most fragile time he put our safety as a top priority.
***
Nightfall approached much sooner than I had anticipated. It was darker than usual with the moon appearing as a sliver of light in the sky. There was a blue glow around its shape. I kept my glance on it while lying on the ground, listening to Alaire inhale and exhale. With each breath, I counted the seconds until I heard him breathe again. He continued to reassure me that he was well, but each time my glance lowered to his leg I doubted his reassurances.
“I cannot sleep tonight,” I said at last.
“Then we will both stay awake,” he replied.
If I stayed awake I would not dream, but with each passing minute my eyelids seemed to weigh down enough that they would drop at any given time. I shook my head violently to stay awake. Turning my head to Alaire, I reminded myself that he wouldn’t be comfortable enough to rest until we found him help.
“I’m sorry this happened to you,” I whispered. At his silence I sighed, feeling fully responsible for his injuries. If only I had paid attention to the road instead of the diamond.
The diamond… I thought, wondering where I had left it. I sat up for a moment only to realize it was inside one of my sandals. Lying back down, I turned to face Alaire, who up until now I hadn’t realized was staring at me.
“This isn’t your fault, you know. Now, pray tell, why can you not sleep?” he inquired.
I hesitated, debating whether it was fair for me to burden him with my struggles when it was the time he needed me the most.
“Go ahead, I’m listening,” Alaire said.
I inhaled a deep breath. “If I do not sleep, then I cannot dream. You can’t imagine what these dreams do to me. They are ghosts; they haunt me. They are falcons; they swoop down and have no mercy.”
“How?” he asked, brushing his hand against my arm.
“My dreams bring back memories that I do not care to remember. Lately my sister, Dyanna, has been haunting me in these dreams. Something happened between her and my Aunt Ilena, and now neither of them are alive to ever know why I acted the way I did.”
I moved my arm away from his when I finished. While his hand was warm and soft, my heart skipped a beat every time his skin touched mine.
“You acted badly?” he assumed.
“Well,” I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts. “Once my aunt started teaching me Dark magic I could not stand it. I refused to learn, and I hated what she was showing me I could do with my powers. After a few days she became impatient with me, and that was when she revealed her own willfulness.”
I closed my eyes. As I continued speaking about it I could remember more precisely the way Aunt Ilena treated me. How she could be a mother figure one minute, and a ruthless witch in the flash of a second.
“She started with locking me in my room. I had to stay there only with enough water to stay alive, and I was forbidden to interact with my sister. It was not until I gave in that she released me. That was not the worst of it, though.
“After a while she started yelling and screaming, and then she would slap me across the face until I was in tears, begging her to stop. It did not take much more to make me realize I had to learn Dark magic to survive. That was when I warned Dyanna, and I told her to always abide by whatever our aunt said. I feared we would both be killed by the fiend; she was a mad woman.”
There was a peculiar noise I heard. I barely raised my head and then realized it was Alaire…snoring. Despite having promised to stay awake, he was sound like a rock. Desperately, I wished nothing more than to wake him, but alas I decided against it. He needed his rest, and if I woke him it would only be more hours for him to endure of pain. I covered my eyes with my arm. There were too many horrid memories lingering in my mind.
She hit me while screaming at the top of her lungs. With each hit, my body numbed. Bruises formed against my back and around my legs. There wasn’t a part of my body that was spared. Each blow felt more painful than the last, but I tried to withstand her. Her magic was powerful, yet I attempted to hold back cries of agony in fear of waking Dyanna. She was asleep; she shouldn’t have to hear her sister being beaten. While Ilena demanded that I perform Dark magic, I closed my eyes and awaited the next beating. Her hands burned like coal against my skin as she used her magic as a weapon to turn me.
Pulling up the skirt of my
dress, I could see it, the one mark that had remained permanent on my body. It would never go away; it had been magically performed to harm, and for one reason or another no one could rid me of it. The scar was more upsetting than the faded marks from my encounter with Aldemund. In time Roana’s healing ability would reform my body from where Aldemund had attacked me. The thick scar, however, would remain on my thigh. To the rest of the world it was hidden, but it showed itself with too much familiarity for me.
My eyes drooped, but I refused to allow myself sleep. Alaire’s eyes were shut, and I kept my glance focused on him. He slept peacefully with a calm expression on his face. The slightest smile lit his face. For an instant I reached for where his necklace ought to be only to recall that Vinur had carried it away. For Alaire it gave him faith, but for me it was the only comfort I could actually hold onto. Somehow it made me feel safe like it connected me to him, and I never had a connection like that to any other person. That necklace held a story of who he was, and I realized I had every desire to know the entire story.
Suddenly Alaire turned, and I stumbled back on the grass. Returning to sit beside him, I stared up at the stars and began humming a song. When I noticed his movement again I stopped humming and hoped he would not stir. I turned my back to him and gazed at the trees in the distance. Everything remained silent, while in the back of my mind I wondered what had gone terribly wrong in the world. How ironic for the world to be peacefully quiet while everyone in it was at war with each other. While ordinary men fought their wars, the magical world had one of its own that I feared would soon erupt.
I trembled at the thought, and then I felt someone breathing against my neck. I turned slightly, noticing Alaire’s head rested on my shoulder. He bit his lower lip, and I couldn’t understand why he had sat up when it would only cause him more pain. My heart quickened at his closeness, and it pleaded for me to embrace him in the spur of the moment. Instead, I reminded myself that he was ill and any feelings he might have on this night could be false.
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