My chest heaved as I watched him read my body like a diary. Pain reflected in his eyes as he touched his finger to the raised skin, and I pulled away. I didn’t want him to touch that part of me—to be reminded of Dominic and all the darkness and salvation he had brought to my life. I didn’t want to think of any of that and definitely not with Trace touching me.
“I hate that he did this to you,” he rasped, his eyes filled with misguided sympathy for a time and place in my life he would never fully comprehend.
But I didn’t want his sympathy because I wasn’t a victim. Not of anyone and certainly not Dominic’s. What he did to me then, I’d wanted him to do to me. Over and over again. And while I wasn’t sure exactly what that said about me, I was certain it wasn’t anything good.
He wouldn’t understand and I didn’t have the words to explain it.
The room dipped around me as my head spun with waring emotions and scrambled thoughts I could no longer block out. My past rushed back to haunt me and the painful memories surrounded me.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” I said and pushed him back a step before jumping off the bathroom counter. “I’m not ready,” I said and then grabbed my shirt from the floor.
Trace stood back with his palms midair, watching me with confusion as I threw my camisole back on and then met his eyes. There was so much I wanted to say to him. So much I wanted to admit. About myself. About what happened between us. About the parts of me that no one knew beside Dominic.
But I couldn’t seem to find the words.
“I’m sorry,” I said again and rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Trace alone, shirtless and completely dumbfounded.
With my heart in my throat, I rushed back to his bedroom and climbed under the covers, wishing this entire day could be stricken from existence. With my back turned to the door, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep when he walked back into the room a few minutes later.
I felt his eyes burning into me, but I didn’t dare turn around and look. I was too much of a coward for that. Knowing I was going to have some explaining to do tomorrow, I took solace in knowing that at least I’d have tonight to figure out what I was even going to say.
I woke up the next morning alone in Trace’s bedroom. Arching my back, I stretched my arms and yawned as I slowly woke from my confused sleep state and remembered everything that had gone down last night.
Pulling the covers over my head, I groaned and then inwardly cursed myself out for letting things go so far with Trace. And if that wasn’t bad enough on its own, I then had a total meltdown and embarrassed the hell out of myself.
“Morning.”
I jumped at the sound of Trace’s voice. Trace’s jovial voice.
Definitely the tone I was expecting this morning.
Feeling a little less intimidated, I edged the covers down a little and chanced a peek at him. He was carrying a plate of what smelled like bacon and eggs and had a glass of orange juice in the other hand.
Wondering if I’d dreamt the whole thing last night, I pulled the covers down to my waist and sat up. He definitely wasn’t looking at me like I’d made out with him, got half undressed and then blue-balled him in the bathroom.
“I wasn’t sure how you like your eggs. They’re supposed to be sunny side up,” he said with an apologetic shrug of his shoulders.
I lifted my chin to peer at the dish. The eggs looked halfway to scrambled and the bacon was definitely overcooked, but that didn’t stop me from tearing up at the sight of them. I thought for sure I was going to get his cold shoulder this morning or at the very least, that he’d demand an explanation. But instead, he cooked me breakfast in bed.
“Thank you,” I said as he placed the dish in front of me on the bed and the glass on the nightstand. “This is so…sweet. You didn’t have to do this.” Especially considering how I’d ended things between us last night.
“I wanted to,” he said as his phone chimed from his pocket.
Taking a bite of my slightly well-done bacon, I watched as he pulled his phone out and read the message. Not even a second later, my own phone sounded from the nightstand.
Phones going off at the same time? That couldn’t be good.
With my eyes still glued on him for clues, I reached over and grabbed my own phone.
“They’re calling an emergency meeting at Temple tonight,” he informed, studying my face as he slid his phone back into his pocket.
Mothercrapper. That definitely didn’t sound good.
“You think they’re going to tell the others about the Horsemen?” he asked as I quickly read the same vague message on my own phone requesting the attendance of all local members.
“I…have no idea,” I answered distractedly as I wondered why William hadn’t reached out to me beforehand. If they had new information, it would’ve been nice to be given a heads up. Hopefully, this was just a general meeting to clue everyone in on what’s been going on and not some earth-shattering reveal.
“Maybe they found out who the mother-to-be is,” he suggested, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
Panic gripped my innards and squeezed them like a vice. Trace still had no clue that it was none other than Nikki who was carrying Lucifer’s child nor did he know that she was claiming that it was Trace’s baby.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his probing eyes closing in on me. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
Not wanting to make him suspicious, I forced myself to smile. “I’m fine. I’m just worried about that math exam today. I haven’t studied at all,” I lied as I set the plate aside and climbed out of bed. “We should probably get going if we don’t want to be late,” I said and grabbed a piece of bacon off the plate before stalking over to my duffle bag.
“Sure,” he said, his eyes trailing me as I pulled out my wrinkled school uniform and laid it out on the bed.
I turned to him expectantly. He may have seen me topless a couple of times this week, but that didn’t mean I was giving out free shows regularly.
Getting the message, he nodded. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
I watched silently as he left the room and closed the door behind himself. The moment he was gone, I pulled out my cell phone and texted the Senior Magister:
What is this meeting about? If you have new information, I want to know beforehand.
I hit the send button and then tossed my phone on the bed.
Throwing on my standard uniform—a buttoned up blouse, pleated skirt and knee-high stockings—I grabbed my blazer, tucked my phone into the pocket and then left the room in a hurry.
Since I had ended up leaving my car at Ben’s house the night before, Trace ported us to the back of his house later that morning. His sprawling backyard was adorned with perfectly manicured trees, a guest house bigger than my house in Florida, an infinity pool and a fence that seemed to go on forever. Basically, just your average ‘rich people’ backyard.
The cold slowly left my body, letting me know that we’d fully materialized and that it was safe to let go of Trace’s hand.
“Did you want to ride together?” he asked, tugging at his already loosened tie.
“Actually, I have to run a quick errand before school, so I’ll probably just meet you there afterward.” I kept my voice even and casual despite watching his expression tighten with apprehension. “It’s daytime. I’ll be fine,” I quickly added, sensing he was worried about me being on my own with Dominic on the loose.
He regarded me for a moment and then nodded. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” I said and then reached up for a quick hug.
He closed his arms around me and then craned his head to my ear. “Be careful, okay?” His breath was warm against my skin and made my skin prickle.
“You’ve got to stop worrying about me. You’re going to give yourself gray hair,” I teased and then pulled back to meet his eyes.
“The fuck if I know how to do that,” he said and stole a quick kiss from my l
ips.
Flutters tickled my stomach as I licked his kiss from my lips and stepped back from him. “I’ll see you later,” I said and turned toward the iron gate.
Trace stayed behind, watching me for a moment before disappearing behind Ben’s house to port back to his own car.
As much as I liked having Trace around, there were conversations I needed to have that he could not be privy to. My first stop was going to be Gabriel’s since I had not spoken to him since last night after the bloodsharing fiasco. He was my Handler and one of my best-friends and I needed to make sure he was okay.
We also needed to figure out a plan to immobilize Dominic until things calmed down enough for me to work on breaking his emotions out. Between the Horsemen and the Spawn of Satan, I had enough on my plate without having to look over my shoulder at every turn. Dominic was becoming a liability and that was the last thing I needed right now.
Once that was handled, I planned on paying the Senior Magister a visit and finding out what he knew. If this meeting was anything more than a general announcement—a casual be-on-alert warning—then I needed to know that, though I had the nagging suspicion it was going to be easier said than done.
Whatever it was that was going on, I was certain it wasn’t going to be anything good.
24. DANCING WITH A STRANGER
I reached Gabriel’s apartment on the outskirts of town in record time, though the small accomplishment did nothing to ease the jitters that wracked my body as I traversed the seedy corridor to Gabriel’s unit. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to find on the other side of the door, though judging from my mounting nerves, it wasn’t anything good.
A light flickered above head as I raised my fist and knocked on the door. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Gabriel chose to stay in such a dingy apartment on the worst side of town when he had access to the same kind of money Dominic had. Sometimes I wondered if his living situation wasn’t just another way for Gabriel to punish himself.
I brought my fist to the door and knocked again, harder this time. “Gabriel, it’s Jemma. Open up.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I hugged my arms for warmth and waited impatiently for him to answer. I mean, I knew he was in there. It wasn’t as if he had gone out for a quaint morning stroll in the sunlight, so, what the heck was he doing?
“Gabriel!” My nerves kicked up another notch. Something didn’t feel right. “I’m busting down the door in 5, 4, 3—”
The door swung open to a very pissed off looking Gabriel. His eyebrows were puckered into a frown and his hair was disheveled as though he’d just had a vicious battle with a pigeon and lost the fight.
“This isn’t a good time, Jemma,” he said, holding the door open with one hand and hugging himself with the other arm. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was sick with the flu. But vampires didn’t get the flu.
“You look terrible.”
“I am aware,” he said without making eye contact.
“What’s going on? Are you sick or something?” I tried to pass through the threshold though his body remained like solid concrete, dutifully blocking my entrance.
With one foot inside the door, I looked up at him and grimaced. What the heck was his problem? Inspecting him further, I noticed his nostrils were flaring and he was looking down and away from my direction, like I was giving off some kind of foul smell. Which I totally wasn’t.
“Gabriel? What is it?” I tried to pick up his chin to make him look at me, but he shoved my hand away.
“Please. Go. Now,” he gritted out, still not looking at me. “Everything is fine. I will call you later.” He took a step back and tried to swing the door shut, though I swiftly kicked my foot out and stopped him.
“Either you let me in and tell me what’s going on or…” I shook my head. “There is no or. I’m coming inside,” I snapped, grunting loudly as I shoved and squeezed my way past his rude ass.
Once inside, I shot a quick gaze around the room to make sure it was all clear and then turned to face him. He was still standing by the open apartment door, facing the corridor with his back muscles rigid and his head dropped low.
“Gabriel, will you please shut the door and tell me what’s going on? You’re freaking me out,” I said, feeling the air thicken with unease as I continued to take in his odd behavior. “Is this about last night? Are you—”
He slammed the door shut and then moved his hand to the deadbolt. His fingers hovered over it as if debating whether to lock it or not. After a brief pause, he dropped his hand to his side. “This is not a good time, Jemma.”
“Yeah, you already said that,” I pointed out impatiently. “Will you please look at me?” I asked and then reached my hand out to touch his shoulder.
Before I had a chance to connect, Gabriel had spun on me, his hand gripping my throat as he swung us in a circle and pushed me back against the front door. My heart pounded against my rib cage as I took in his dilated pupils—the inky black stretching so far into his green iris’ that not a spec of color remained. Shit.
I knew that look.
It was the look of full-on bloodlust.
Panic shot down my spine as my fingers dug into his wrist, scratching and clawing at his skin as I tried to dislodge his hold on my neck. “Gabriel! Stop it! Let me go!” I choked out, horror and anger distorting the sound of my voice.
As if snapping out of a daze, his pupils retracted, revealing his beautiful, regretful moss-green eyes. He yanked his hand away, clutching it to his stomach as though he had zero control over the limb.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I yelled, coughing as I tried to refill my lungs with air. Without even waiting for an answer, I rushed over to him and rammed my knee into his balls.
He let out a painful grunt and then folded over. It wasn’t my finest or most mature moment, but it did make me feel better.
“Now we’re even,” I bit out as I walked around him and made my way into the living room, rubbing at my neck as I tried to absorb what had just happened. Something was very wrong. This wasn’t the Gabriel I knew; that much was clear, but I wasn’t about to give him a free pass either. “If you ever put your hands on me again—”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, still holding his balls or his arm—I couldn’t really tell from where I was standing. “I’m not well, Jemma. I’m not myself right now.”
“You don’t say? I hadn’t noticed,” I snapped sarcastically and then rolled my eyes even though he was still facing the door. “What the hell is going on, Gabriel? Start talking. Now.”
He straightened, keeping his back to me as though he couldn’t even handle looking at me. “The bloodlust is too…strong. And you’re scent…” He trailed off, unable to bring himself to finish.
But I didn’t need him to. I knew what he was saying.
Tasting my blood last night had opened a pandora-sized box of shit neither of us were equipped to handle. Gabriel was a virgin to human blood. That alone would give him zero ability to control his bloodlust. He didn’t have the experience or the tolerance to fight the cravings. Add Slayer blood into the mix…well, that was a recipe for disaster.
“This is all my fault. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I shook my head, horrified with myself for not seeing this coming a mile away. In my defense, I wasn’t exactly thinking straight while Dominic’s compulsion was crawling through my brain. All I wanted to do was make the pain go away—make his voice go away. I probably would’ve sold my first-born child to make it stop if given the opportunity.
“Tell me what to do. How do I fix this?” I asked gently, taking a cautious step toward him though making sure to keep my hands to myself and not to enter his personal space this time.
“You can’t.” He pushed his hand through his short black hair and shook his head. “This is not your battle.”
I supposed it wasn’t—I couldn’t exactly fight the cravings for him no matter how guilty I felt or how much I wanted to take his suffering away. “
How can I help then?” I asked instead. There had to be something I could do that would ease his pain. “Do you want me to take a trip to the butcher?” That was the only place in town I knew of that could get you a full supply of animal blood. I’d make the trip ten times over if I thought it would help.
“I already have what I need,” he said and slowly turned around. I immediately noticed the purple coloring under his eyes as though the delicate skin there were beginning to bruise. His jaw was set tight and his hands were balled into a fist. “It’s not…enough anymore.”
The animal blood was not enough to satiate his appetite anymore. Fuck. This was really not good.
Weary of the microscopically thin line I was broaching, I asked, “Should I get some donor blood for you?” Bagged human blood, that is. I wasn’t sure when the last time Gabriel had donor blood, if ever, or if I was making a horrible mistake suggesting it, but I didn’t know what else to do at that point. The damage had already been done.
“I have that as well.” He lowered his eyes in shame.
“Oh.” My heart sank for him. “And it’s not…helping?”
He shook his head sharply.
I swallowed the knot in my throat and stared at him for a moment. “How about my blood then? Would that help?”
His gaze darted back up to mine, the green of his eyes disappearing again at just the mention of my blood. Something was telling me I’d just tripped over that microscopic line and fell flat on my face.
“You should leave,” he gritted out, his knuckles turning white as he tightened his fists. “Leave now, Jemma.” The urgency in his voice should have sent me running for the door, but it didn’t.
I couldn’t leave him like this. He was my friend—my Handler.
“You can’t hurt me, Gabriel. I’m protected, remember? Let me help you.” I started toward the kitchen but then froze at the sound of his fangs clicking out. Normally that sound excited me, but with Gabriel it was different. He didn’t have the control or experience that Dominic had. And I wasn’t in love with him the way I was with Dominic.
Incipient: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Marked Book 6) Page 16
