The look on Randy’s face changed to one of sadness. “What’s wrong?” I asked him. “I know what I need to say, but I can’t say it again. Every time I try to open up to you, I upset you, and I am tired of upsetting you Amber.” I was surprised. Had I really rejected his feelings for me so much that I made him feel as though he couldn’t open up to me.
“Tell me,” were the only words I could think to say. He looked into my eyes, and I could see the need to speak freely in his eyes. I placed my hand on his and pleaded, “Please tell me how you feel.” He took a deep breath, almost as though he was searching for courage from some place deep within him. He hung his head, and I felt as though my heart would break.
“No,” came the word I didn’t want to hear. “I won’t tell you Amber.” I felt my heart sink in an indescribable sorrow. “I will show you,” he exclaimed as he quickly moved from his seat, grabbing my still damp ponytail, and kissed me fiercely. I gasped into his mouth as I met the force of his kiss with my own, and allowed the crumbling walls to fall away from my heart.
Before I could even realize what was happening, I wrapped my arms around him, and wrapped his short dark hair in my fingers. I could feel his breath warm on my neck as he moved his mouth to kiss me in a place I hadn’t been kissed in so long. The shock of feelings returning to my body, which were lost long ago made me quiver in his arms as he lifted me from my seat and sat me on the small breakfast island. A part of me wanted to me to stop him, that logical part of me that taught me to keep my emotions at bay during this apocalypse. However, the human side, the woman within me, grew as strong as the woman I am on the outside, and fought back the logical within my mind.
I allowed her to take control of me, which allowed me to feel things I hadn’t felt in so very long, since before the day the planes flew across the sky. I knew what Randy was offering me by the way he kissed me, and I wanted to accept that offer. I convulsed as he kissed down my neck, stopping at the hem of my tank top and looking up at me.
“I do this because I am in love with you Amber. I have been for a very long time, since before the world went to shit.” I looked deep into his eyes. It was as though he’d opened his very soul up to me so that I could see all that he felt for me. It was as though I had watched every memory his heart, his soul held dear to him that involved me. I was all that mattered in this God forsaken world. It was me. I was his need. I was his desire, and the feeling of being the first priority to someone else was intoxicating, arousing.
Time seemed to stand still in that moment that our eyes met. Our hearts, minds, and souls had professed their love. My breathing was still heavy, labored, but from anticipation more than exhaustion. “I love you too Randy. I always have. I was just so…” My words were cut short when Randy kissed me again. I wanted to say I had loved him always, but I was certain he knew by the way my hands craved him, travelling underneath his black T-shirt and caressing the stone of his muscular build.
I had lost all sense of time, all sense of myself to the point that I hadn’t realized the moment when he had undressed me, peeling the still wet clothes from my body. I had missed the moment completely. However, I was so deeply aware of him and what was happening when I felt him where I wanted him to be, where I needed him to me. I allowed myself to become lost as he made love to me, and for that time, the world belonged to us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The morning sun shone through the windows of the master cabin of the houseboat. I greeted the warmth and brightness with a smile. I opened my eyes and saw the trees slowly passing by as the boat moved up the river. This moment was like heaven to me. I sat up, being careful to secure the sheet over my chest. My hair was dry, but a tangled mess as I ran my fingers through it to force it back out of my eyes.
I reached for my pack of off brand cigarettes that rested on the bedside table, took one from the pack, placed it between my lips and lit it. I stood up and wrapped the sheet securely around my body, and walked out barefoot onto the deck of the boat. I stood there staring out across the water into the woods that passed by. I was sure I heard a bird singing in the trees.
I took another draw of my cigarette as I looked down into the water. There were a few swimmers at the edge of the boat, reaching up for me, I was sure. “Awe, are you poor dears hungry?” I asked in the fakest tone of concern I could ever muster. I held my cigarette over the edge and tapped it with my finger, dropping the ashes into the water, and watched as the undead in the water tried to catch it to see if it was food.
I looked back out across the water into the woods. They were beautiful and green, despite the withering of life around them. At first, I was sure that I saw a deer frolic through the wood line, but a second look revealed to me that it was nothing more than a zombie walking through the woods. I frowned a little, because watching one of the undead moving through the woods brought me back to my reality, shattering my perfect world I’d awoken to.
I was forced to remember the plans that flew across the skies of the country, probably the world, and the green clouds that fell from them. I was forced to remember living the first week of the apocalypse inside my small convenience store, loading up the box truck with everything we could use to survive. I was forced to remember the old school we lived in for a while until the undead tore through the chain-link fence that kept us secure for a while, and forced to remember the very real truth that we were on a race against time to make it back to our people and hopefully save their lives.
The sounds of boots on the deck pulled me away from my thoughts, and I turned to find Randy walking up to me. I waited for feelings of awkwardness to hit me in the pit of my stomach, but the feelings didn’t come. Instead, the memory of the night before played in my mind, and I could help but to smile at the man who’d managed to steal my heart in the middle of a zombie apocalypse coming closer to me.
Once he reached my side, he slid an arm around my waist and leaned into me. “Good morning beautiful,” he said as he leaned in and kissed my cheek, making me blush as if it were the first time a man’s lips ever touched me. “Good morning to you. Are the kids awake?” I asked. Truth be told, I was anxious to see how Tara was doing today.
He smiled before he answered/ “Yes, they are awake and I have to say, there is some good that can come from nearly becoming zombie food.” I could have thrown something at his head had there been anything within my reach to throw. “And what do you mean by that?” He let out a small chuckle. I was sure that he could tell by the look upon my face that I wasn’t ready to make jokes about my daughter’s near death experience the day before.
“Relax. Too soon, I get it. All I meant was Tyler has make breakfast, and Tara has rebuild her survival pack out of resources she found on the boat, and added to ours as well.” I had forgotten all about Tara losing her pack while running from the undead. I was also surprised that she had actually tried to rebuild a pack. I wanted to have faith in her abilities, but the mother within me told me to find a delicate way to approach this situation. I didn’t want to make her feel incompetent, or make her believe I didn’t trust her abilities, even if deep down, I didn’t.
I gained control of my anger, before I spoke. “Well then, I guess I better get dressed and go do a very discreet inspection.” I said as I took the last draw of my cigarette and flicked it out into the river. “But I like you this way.” Randy said with a bit of a sly grin on his face. I rolled my eyes at him, knowing how much he hated it, and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his waist and said, “As much as I would love for this to be life, it isn’t right now. Let’s survive the apocalypse first.” Then I kissed him gently on the lips that had explored every inch of me the night before.
As difficult as it was, I pulled myself away from him and went back inside the cabin to get dressed. “I’ll just go see how close we are to having breakfast. I may have to save it from the wrath of Tyler.” Randy said as he turned and made his way back down the small walkway of the deck.
I dressed quickly, and managed to f
ind the brush and ponytail holders I kept in my pack. I ran the brush through my hair quickly and pulled my hair back. I didn’t want my hair scattered about like I had spent most of the night making love to Randy. Granted, I didn’t regret last night at all, but I did have a regret. I regretted that I allowed this damned apocalypse to control my life so much that I forgot about the most important part of survival, human interaction.
This type of situation has a way of changing a person, and I had changed as well, just not how I had expected. I had lost myself somewhere along the roads, through the abandoned houses and businesses. I could picture my old self, the woman who lived on a small income of convenience store sales combined with online sales, and a few royalty checks per month.
I could picture that woman, me, walking along the highway connecting my small town of Adairsville with the much larger town of Cartersville, dressed in my comfy yoga pants and a kami wrapped in my cheap, polyester robe I wore every morning while making coffee. The memory changed, and I could see myself sitting in my little white house at my desk, sipping from my Indie Author cup, staring at my computer screen trying to find the words to continue my store.
I couldn’t help but wonder at that moment if my manuscripts were still on my desktop, or even if my desktop was still in one piece in my old house. Perhaps one day I would get back out that way and check. However, I was sure I would never get back to those stories.
I shook the thoughts from my mind as I laced my boots, grabbed my pack, and made my way out of the cabin. I wasn’t sure how far we had traveled last night. We had set an anchor in the middle of the River with the deepest water to prevent the likelihood of swimmers finding some way to board the boat. Logically, I didn’t see a way that it could happen, but if there was anything I wrote about in my survival guide, it was to expect the unexpected. Besides, logically, the world as it is now wasn’t supposed to be possible.
I reached the entrance to the small kitchen area, and went inside. “Good morning mom!” Tyler greeted with a big smile on his face. I loved the moments when my teenagers would say or do something that reminded me of the days when they were small children living in a normal world. In my mind, Tyler looked just as he did when he was five years old, and I woke up to find my entire kitchen destroyed from his attempt to make pancakes and eggs for me on my birthday.
“Good morning Son,” I said as I walked over and kissed the top of his head. “Oh, your hair smells like Old Spice, and it’s wet too.” I stated curiously. “Yeah, the boat has a water reserve and hot water tank so I took advantage of a quick hot shower while I had the chance.”
I noticed that Tara wasn’t in the kitchen. “Where is Tara?” I asked Randy, who was sitting at the small table. “She went to get her new survival pack she made. She knew you would want to approve.” Randy said with a sly grin. I rolled my eyes at him again, but with a smile. “I will get you for that one day, Commander.” He threatened playfully. “I’d like to see you try.” I teased back.
“Good Morning!” Tara exclaimed as she came into the kitchen with the rest of us. I walked over to my daughter and put my arms around her. “Good morning angel. How did you sleep?” I asked as I kissed the top of her head, just as I had her brother a few moments before. “I slept good actually. I think running for my life did me some good.” She teased. I was pleasantly surprised at how lighthearted my daughter seemed today. I had to admit, I was prepared to deal with a grumpy teenager, and upset that a situation had arose that forced her to realize her mother was right.
I turned my attention to the black backpack, and small backpack style purse she held in her hands. “What do you have there?” I asked. Sure, I already knew, but Randy said she was very proud of her new pack, and the last thing I wanted to do was to discourage her about the work she chose to do. Her eyes lit up, as well as my heart as she answered, “Oh, I made a new survival pack. I was actually totally surprised at all the things I found on the boat.”
I watched, quietly beaming with pride as she dropped the backpack on the table for my inspection. Of course, she didn’t allow me to open the pack and check for myself, she had to show off her work like a five year old child who’d finished their first macaroni picture in Kindergarten class. “Well, let’s see what your instincts told you to pack.” I said with a smile.
Tara opened the pack, and began to remove the contents. I was very pleased with what I saw. She had grabbed small food items, non-perishable, but with decent calorie content. She unloaded matches, and a grill lighter, a few pocket knives, some clothes that would fit her, some twine, scissors, electrical tape, a few screwdrivers, and other assorted tools.
“You did a great job Tara. I’m proud.” I said, hoping the simplicity of my comment wouldn’t discourage her. Granted, I knew Randy had said that she seemed like a new person, but old habits die hard as they always say. “Thanks, but it wasn’t all instinct. I did listen when you tried to teach me, even if it didn’t seem like I did. I’m young, not stupid. But this isn’t the stuff from my instinct.” She said as she loaded everything back into the pack.
“So what is in the smaller pack?” I asked. She smiled bigger than before as she sat the bigger pack on the ground, and placed the smaller pack in its place. “This is what I found using my instincts.” She said as she opened the drawstring on the faux leather bag. She reached inside, and when she pulled her handback out, she was holding two journals and a pack of ink pens.
“Why did your instincts tell you to grab this?” I asked. “To keep a record of this time in our lives, the Apocalypse Diaries.” She answered. “Oh honey, I didn’t know you were interested in writing. I think it’s a great idea, and the bag is small and light-weight so it won’t be difficult to keep up with.” I encouraged. I was pleased to see that my daughter wanted to do more than exist in this zombie-plagued world.
She smiled at me again, but kind of bit her lip. “Mom, it’s not for me. It’s for you. I appreciate the confidence, but writing has never been my forte. But, it is yours, and you should write our stories, all of them.” I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I once wrote books for my children, and even though they were avid readers, Tara never seemed interested in anything I wrote. It meant so much that my daughter thought of me as she gathered supplies. “Tara, thank you. This means more to me than you will ever…” My words were interrupted by the sudden jolt of the houseboat that nearly knocked the both of us off of our feet.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I made my way out of the kitchen, and to the front of the boat. I could see the cause of the sudden jolt. A huge fallen tree was blocking three fourths of the width of the river. “Well, this is going to slow us down a lot.” I said as I placed my hand on my hip as if the tree was a disobedient child. “Do we even know where we are?” Tyler asked. “I’m not sure, Son.” I answered. “We are on the edge of Fairmount, approximately 10 miles from highway 411, and even farther from 41, which is what we will need to take to make it back to Adairsville.”
I gave my daughter a nod of approval when I saw her standing there with the map. “Good job. Apparently you also paid attention when I taught you how to read maps.” I said with a wink. “Here, let me take a look.” Tara handed the map over and Randy came to look over my shoulder.
“It looks like we are close enough in that we could actually take 411 down to where 140 crosses over, and cut back to Adairsville from there.” Randy said as he traced the highway with his finger. He had a point. I looked at the other route, taking 53 over to 41 as originally planned, but Tara was right, we were really far off from 53, meaning it would take a lot longer to get back home, and we couldn’t afford to gamble with time.
“I think you may be right Randy. Only issue we have here is locations for shelter along this route are few and far between. I mean it’s like 15 miles down 140 to the intersection.” I stated. There were very few structures along that highway, and it was definitely a dark stretch of road. I looked at my watch, surprised that it had survived the dive yeste
rday.
“Hey mom, there is that brick church about half way down the highway. We could try there. And that pallet company too.” Tara added. “Yeah, but Alex said the pallet company had at least 20 zombies in it. At that time of the evening, even if we found a vehicle, there would be lurkers in every corner.” Tyler informed. Tara frowned a bit. “Oh yeah, I forgot Uncle Alex said that. But how long ago was that anyway?” Tara asked. “Not long enough for them to die off. Old man Taylor has been walking around inside the cotton gin since Apocalypse day one, and he still hasn’t starved to death.” Tyler informed.
I was very pleased with the level of responsibility and maturity my children were displaying nowadays. I could feel my faith in their ability to survive in this world begin to grow. Honestly, if someone had told me that by the end of this training mission, my twins would be involved in decision making discussions about survival, routes of travel, safety, and so on, I would have probably laughed in their face. Still, here we were in this moment when I suddenly watched my two children become young adults literally overnight.
“Ok, so here is the plan. We are going to make it to land, trek through the woods until we find a road. We will follow Highway 411 down until it crosses 140. Be on the lookout for vehicles that we may be able to use to make this journey easier.” I said, taking the lead as I always did. My villagers didn’t call me commander for nothing. “But how are we getting to land?” Randy asked. I smiled as I looked over at the tree.
“Oh hell no Amber. That could be very dangerous. The branches are huge. That’s a lot of bobbing and weaving to do and we don’t know what kind of scattered mess the branches under the water are in.” Randy protested. All of his points were valid, but it was still our best option. There weren’t any docks close by, and the water was too shallow at the banks to move the boat flush with land.
The Fall: The Apocalypse Diaries Page 14
