by Kellyn Roth
Copyright © 2020 Kelly Lyn Garrett, all rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher at the address below.
ISBN: 978-1-7341685-0-1
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version (KJV).
Cover design by Carpe Librum Book Design
Edited by Andrea Cox
Kellyn Roth, Author
3680 Browns Creek Road
The Dalles, OR, 97058
www.kellynrothauthor.com
For my mom.
Thank you for cheering me on, helping me with grammar and punctuation, and just being a fantastic influence in my life.
Love you!
~Kell~
Character List
Alice Chattoway (Berck) — A young girl growing up in London.
Miss Claire Chattoway (Berck) — Her mother. A middle-class dressmaker who uses an alias to hide her true identity.
Ivy Chattoway (Berck) — Alice’s twin sister.
Nettie Atwater — Claire’s former maid who now works as a nanny and governess for Alice and Ivy.
Tom Jameson — Claire’s manservant.
Mrs. Bennett — Claire’s elderly maid of all work.
Miss Lois Elton — A childhood friend and schoolmate of Claire’s. Only living child of John Elton.
Mr. Steven Parker — Miss Elton’s cousin. Son of Captain Steven Parker and Miss Patricia Elton. Formerly married to his cousin, Lydia.
Mr. Philip Knight — Miss Elton’s cousin. Son of Mr. Edmond Knight, an American, and Miss Amelia Elton. John Elton’s sole heir.
Mrs. Hazel Knight — Wife of Mr. Knight. A former resident of Virginia.
Edmond “Ned” Knight — Mr. and Mrs. Knight’s infant son.
Kirk Manning — A stable boy at Pearlbelle Park, the Knights’ estate.
Katie Manning — His mother
Lizzy Manning — His sister
Charles Chattoway — Claire’s brother.
Christina Chattoway-Tinedale — Claire’s sister.
Mr. Chattoway — Owner of Starboard Hall. Claire’s estranged father.
Mrs. Nora Chattoway — Claire’s estranged mother.
Miss Isobel Selle — Headmistress of a boarding school Alice attends.
Lady Mary Cassidy O’Connell — A dear friend of Alice’s from boarding school.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”
~ Ephesians 2:10 ~
Prologue
January 4, 1862
Yorkshire, England
Claire stared into the flickering flames of her fireplace. The heat warmed her face, almost to the point of discomfort, and she leaned back. “Well, Nettie. I suppose now is as lovely a night as any to run away from home.”
Her maid sighed and seemed about to speak, but Claire held up her hand and shook her head.
“No. We must.” She played with the edge of the blanket lying on her lap. “If my father enacts a single one of his threats, if he takes the girls away from us … It’s not worth speaking of. We leave tonight.”
Nettie’s gray eyes drooped as they met her mistress’s. The dark circles under the maid’s eyes spoke of exhaustion beyond her, of burdens an eighteen-year-old woman shouldn’t have to bear. “I don’t think you’re ready to travel, and, frankly, neither am I.”
“We’ve done it before, and we can do it again.” Claire straightened her back and summoned her most intimidating glare. She had to convince Nettie, or she’d never make it. “Besides, you wouldn’t … I know you feel as I do about protecting the babies. I’ve already failed in so many ways. If anything happened to—”
“I know, but it’s not sensible! Where would we go? Two women with no man to support us … We wouldn’t have half a chance.”
“But we must try! Surely you can see that.” Claire flipped the blanket off her lap and let it drop to the floor. She rose and paced across the room to where two cradles sat side by side. “For them. My father has contemplated murder. He’s a madman! At the very least, he’ll send them off somewhere. There is no other option for us.”
Claire didn’t ask if Nettie was willing to travel with her. Since childhood, they had been close friends.
No, Nettie would stay with her, and she would keep Claire from going absolutely insane in the months and years that followed.
There wasn’t anyone else. Not anymore.
She bit her lip as she looked down at a small face that Nettie said was like Claire’s own in form. The babe might have light hair when it grew in, though Claire secretly hoped she would look like him. At least a bit. It would be a comfort.
“Oh, Ivy.” She reached into the cradle and stroked the soft cheek. “What are we all going to do?”
“That’s another reason we can’t leave.” Claire turned to find Nettie behind her, trembling, her arms wrapped around herself. The maid had been unstable since the shaking events of the last few years. Claire hoped she’d calm down soon; it wasn’t like Nettie to be upset.
But Claire had been a fool, and it was hurting them all.
“What?”
“Ivy. She’s so small, and if her breathing problems continue, travel might … Claire, I know you couldn’t stand to lose her, too. Let’s not risk it.”
Claire stepped to the side. “At least Alice is all right. Firstborn, least trouble, hmm?”
Nettie’s lips quirked up around the edges. “Well, God has His hands on her. She isn’t supposed to be here, you know. Neither of them are. But they’ve both arrived, safe and sound, and that tells you something, I think.”
Claire laughed and shook her head in amusement. “I don’t know about God, but if we hurry, we can save them both. You know they’re about all I have.”
Nettie nodded and stepped back, though Claire remained by the cradles, watching her daughters sleep. Yes, they had to leave tonight to get Alice and Ivy safe from all harm.
Claire didn’t know how they’d manage, but they must.
Perhaps Nettie’s God will help us. It would be nice for Him to do something for me for a change.
Chapter One
Eight Years Later
London, England
Alice knew her mother must be home by now, which made sitting still even more agonizing. It had been a long day, and it promised to be a long evening. A little girl ought to be allowed to see her mother somewhere in between morning and night.
She tried to finish the copywork Nettie had set out for her, but she was sure her hand would drop off if she wrote another letter. Besides, Alice was convinced that her penmanship was perfect; therefore, further practice was entirely unnecessary. She twisted her dark hair around her finger and wiggled on her seat, seeking a comfortable position.
Nettie looked up from her novel, and her forehead crinkled, her gray eyes scolding before she spoke. “Alice, I know you can concentrate if you apply yourself. Please stop woolgathering and finish your copywork. I mean it, Miss Grace.”
Alice sighed. Nettie used “Miss Grace” or “Gracie” to scold her—because, supposedly, Nettie often had to have an inordinate amount of grace to deal with her naughty charge.
It wasn’t that Alice tried to be bad. It was just that there was a lot to get done, and sometimes she had to fight against things getting in the way.
Of course, Nettie sometimes called her “Gracie” when she smiled, too, so really, one could never be sure.
She looked down at her twin, Ivy, who played with the cat on the floor. Alice wished she could switch places with her sister, but Ivy couldn’t write much.
Alice placed her pen on the table and rubbed a hand over her eyes, sure she was developing a headache. “Am I done yet? Can—I mean, may I be? I’ve finished almost the whole page. Please, Nettie! I want to go see Mummy now!”
Nettie glanced at the small watch she kept pinned to her bodice. “Run along, then, Gracie. Please take Ivy with you.”
The headache vanished. Alice leapt up, put a hand on Ivy’s shoulder, and shook her gently.
Alice felt a flash of envy when Ivy looked up at her. Her sister was a perfect child-beauty: big, dreamy blue eyes and a lovely smile. Alice wished she had pale skin and wavy golden locks instead of perpetually rosy cheeks and dark, straight hair. But, though occasionally she experienced jealousy toward her twin sister, she also felt lovingly protective—except when Ivy was annoying.
“Hello, Alice.” Ivy smiled slowly, waking up from her imaginary world.
Alice didn’t like to hear other people saying it, but her twin was a bit simple—had been since she was born. But that just meant Ivy needed love. She wasn’t less of a person. At least, Mummy said so.
Alice returned Ivy’s smile. “It’s time to go see Mummy. You want to watch her get ready. Come along.”
Dragging her sister, Alice ran to her mother’s room. At her vanity sat their mother, brushing her long blonde hair. Her eyes glowed lovingly, and her lips quirked up at the corners in a soft smile as her children entered the room.
“Mummy, are you going to wear that dress?” Alice rushed to her mother’s side. “You look so much better in the light-pink one with rosebuds.”
Mummy gave way to her light, silvery laugh. Alice thought it was a special sort of laugh that belonged only to Ivy and her.
“That’s one thing we three have in common: we all look simply stunning in pink.”
“Not me as much.” Alice didn’t believe she was as lovely as her mother and sister. She didn’t mind—at least, not most of the time. “I did want to see you in the silk with the tiny rosebuds, though.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Mummy mused. Alice couldn’t help but grin. It was wonderful to have a mother who always listened. “But I am fond of this dress.”
“Leave it on,” Alice said reluctantly. After all, her mother had given in to her taste; she had best return the favor. “The cloth is good.”
Mummy’s eyes laughed, though Alice chose to ignore the implied teasing. “This is an occasion, darling, so if you want the pink …” She reached past Alice to hug and kiss Ivy.
“No, leave the lavender,” Alice said after a moment of thought. “What do you think, Ivy?”
“Pretty,” Ivy whispered, fingering the lace at her mother’s collar. She offered another hug before sliding out of Mummy’s arms, distracted by the rain outside the window.
It was always raining in London, but Ivy liked to watch it. She seemed to find an odd fascination in the dripping water.
Alice picked up a string of pearls that Mummy had left on the vanity and tried it on. She found the necklace too heavy for her taste, however, and set it back down. “When will the guests come?”
“In half an hour,” Mummy said, beginning to brush her hair again. “Remember, dears, though you’re excited, most people don’t …” She hesitated. “Most people haven’t seen you before. You know we don’t get out much, so I don’t want you downstairs until I call you.”
“What do you mean?” Alice said. “We see the Lanskys often in the park, with Nettie, and Mrs. Lansky says I’m a sweet girl. Helena and Rosalind are my dear friends.”
The twins rarely left the house, except for regular walks with Nettie. Alice wasn’t sure why her mother was so insistent they didn’t talk to anyone. She only knew that she was not to do so, and she tried to obey … though it was hard. Alice liked to talk to people, and she so badly wanted to explore the world outside their middle-class London townhouse.
“It’s not just the Lanskys.” Mummy was quiet for a bit and didn’t look at Alice when she spoke again. “We have a few other guests coming. Old friends. Ones I haven’t seen in a long time, since I was a girl, who might not … know about you. At least not all about you. One of them came to the shop a few days ago and asked to see us, to renew the acquaintance. Tonight, he is accompanied by his cousin, who was also a friend of mine before you and Ivy came.”
“Oh.” Alice wasn’t sure what to think of that. She hadn’t known her mother had friends outside of Nettie and Uncle Charlie, Alice’s maternal uncle who visited every few months.
He was the one who paid for their home in London and really owned Mummy’s dress shop, though he did not openly endorse her. Alice and Ivy weren’t supposed to admit they knew Uncle Charlie, either.
“So you two must be on your best behavior. I would like my friends to meet you, but you must remain quiet and still, and you and Ivy will spend the rest of the evening in the nursery with Helena and Rosalind.”
Alice nodded. “All right. But why did you invite those people if they won’t like us?”
Mummy blinked. Alice thought there might be something wrong with her smile. “I’m sure they will like you, but they won’t understand. Don’t worry; I’ll make sure everything goes well. Run along.”
Alice and Ivy dashed off obediently, and Miss Claire Berck returned to her preening. It was important she look her best. Always there was the struggle to appear, if not be, worthy, and she must try even harder tonight.
She seldom had dinner guests—only the Lanskys, who owned a shop near hers. She lived modestly with a staff of only three—Nettie, of course; an elderly maid-of-all-work; and a manservant. Most importantly, though, she lived secretly, under an assumed name of which few knew the meaning.
Only the Lanskys were aware of Alice and Ivy, and that was because they were the discreet sort. As far as anyone else could tell, the manager of Berck’s was a modest spinster who lived by herself in a tall, narrow house wedged between a hundred others like it.
She’d rarely had to explain herself, and her brother’s financial backing, little as it was, ensured her safety. But it would be nice to be in contact with the friends she hadn’t spoken to in over eight years.
To explain her actions, though that could never be.
At least she was secure now. Charlie had assured her she’d be safe when he’d found her all those years ago. She still remembered going to his arms and sobbing her troubles onto his shoulder.
Of course, he couldn’t really rescue her—their father had made sure of that by limiting his funds and keeping him close. Charlie couldn’t even visit without losing everything, and Claire would never let him risk that. But his distant acceptance had kept her from despair. With his encouragement, she’d fought for everything she now had.
It wasn’t a lot. There was a time when she had been society’s latest darling, but now that was gone. She no longer had a sphere she belonged to. The strangeness of the flux state often overwhelmed her.
Nettie came to fix her hair. It was one of the few things she did as a lady’s maid now; everything else, Claire had learned to do for herself.
“Tonight will be interesting, won’t it?”
“More than you know,” Nettie mumbled.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
“Ah.” Claire glanced up then quickly straightened her shoulders and stared forward. Sometimes Nettie said things that made little to no sense—and that was all right.
Claire had her secrets, too.
“Why?” The maid’s voice was sharp. Claire might have imagined it, but she thought one of the pins Nettie
wielded pierced her scalp. “Why do you think Mr. Parker wanted to see you?”
“He used to care for me.” Claire couldn’t help but preen a bit at the thought. But that was a long time ago. “I think it’s natural for there to be some curiosity about where I’ve been.”
“And why invite the Lanskys, too?”
Claire shrugged. “A bit of a buffer is nice sometimes, I think.”
Nettie’s hands dropped to her sides. “Mr. Parker would do well to forget he ever knew you. And … Mr. Knight …”
“It doesn’t matter what he would do well to do.” Claire’s voice was sharper than she intended, so she softened her tone as she spoke again. “Mr. Steven Parker has found me, though God only knows how. He is coming with his cousin and his cousin’s bride to have dinner with us.” She met Nettie’s eyes in the small, cracked mirror above the dressing table. “Those are the facts. Beyond that, we can only speculate.”
“But—”
“No. Please, Nettie.” Claire sighed. “It’s not worth a discussion.”
From the top of the stairs, Alice heard her mother welcoming the guests in a monotone voice. The first to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Lansky. Nettie hovered nearby to escort Helena and Rosalind up the stairs, where Alice greeted them warmly, and they scurried off to the nursery.
Perhaps fifteen minutes lapsed when Mummy sent for them. Alice, Nettie’s hand firm on her shoulder, stood outside the drawing room, heart beating fast.
She wasn’t sure exactly why she was so worried about this meeting, only that she was and that her nerves threatened to give way at any moment.
