by Kellyn Roth
Nettie must see things a lot of people didn’t.
“Oh, your guests are coming today, aren’t they?” Nettie’s eyes flickered to Jameson and back. “Probably on the next train. You girls will want to get ready.”
Get ready? Alice was already dressed. Perhaps she could comb her hair—she’d been running out in the snow with Uncle Charlie earlier, and though she’d dried off, she hadn’t cleaned up all the way.
“We’d better go.” Alice kissed Nettie’s cheek. “I love you, Nettie. I hope you’re going to be all right.”
“I love you, too. And, yes, we’ll both be fine.”
As Alice and Ivy left the room, she heard Nettie say something about Mr. Parker’s coming today, too, but ignored it.
They found Mummy in her bedroom redoing her hair. Ivy raced forward ahead of Alice, obviously intent on a mission.
“Will Nettie be all right?” Ivy tugged at Mummy’s sleeve.
Alice laughed as she shut the door behind them to preserve the heat of the flickering fire in the grate. “Of course she will, silly. It’s just a baby.”
“But she’s sick!” Ivy scowled at Alice before redirecting her gaze upward again. “Mummy? Is she bad sick?”
“No, darling. More tired, I imagine.” Mummy squeezed Ivy’s shoulder. “I want to comb your hair before Mr. Knight arrives. Come along now.”
In no time, they were all ready for the day.
“I don’t know if we really need to get pretty.” Alice glanced at herself in the mirror. She wore a simple green dress, and Mummy had drawn her hair back in a braid.
“Right.” Mummy also examined her reflection. “No need to look pretty at all. It’s just Miss Elton, Mr. Parker, Mr. Knight, and his son. But we can present ourselves as nicely as possible. It’s common courtesy.”
Common courtesy? Mummy never would keep glancing at the mirror for common courtesy. No, there must be a special reason—one Alice would definitely explore later.
She was close to making up her mind on whether or not her parents should remarry. And, well, it was good to have all the information possible on their feelings in the meanwhile.
The carriage rolled up in front of the manor, and Mr. Knight descended.
Claire took a deep breath and forced herself not to think about her appearance or what her family and the line of neatly-dressed servants must look like to him. But she couldn’t resist the thought that Starboard Hall was a rich estate, she practically the mistress, and there wasn’t anything amiss about her appearance.
Then she squashed the thoughts. They weren’t noble, nor did they matter in the long run. She shouldn’t turn her life into a competition, and she wasn’t a prize to be won—nor did making a man jealous really appeal to her.
Mr. Knight had his own life now. She wasn’t a part of it, really, though he kept popping back in.
Lois Elton ran forward before Claire could so much as catch his eye. “Claire, how good to see you! I was so thankful for your invitation to Starboard. It’s been so long …” She gave Claire an overexuberant hug. “How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you.” Don’t look over her shoulder at Phil. Oh, or Steven for that matter. Draw away. “How was your journey?”
“Lovely. Steven complained the whole time, but it went smoothly. Ned hardly fussed at all.” Lois glanced over her shoulder. “Steven has him, actually. He’s started to take to him.”
Steven shifted the boy to the crook of his arm. “I have not taken to him. He’s clingy, is all.”
Lois snorted and turned from Steven to the left—face-to-face with Charlie. And her face went pale.
Oh dear. Not this again. Claire wanted to roll her eyes, but poor Charlie didn’t deserve it.
Charlie might not be entirely aware of Lois’s long-time attraction to him. Claire wasn’t sure. To be fair, she’d had other things on her mind.
Ivy slid her hand into Claire’s, and she remembered her children existed. Jerking around, she gestured for Alice to draw near and greet their guests. Her mother was already speaking with Mr. Knight. Claire hoped she wouldn’t say anything too embarrassing.
Ashamed of being so on edge yet not being able to help it, she led Lois and the girls in. Charlie trailed after her.
Really, brother. You’re better than this, better than keeping a woman waiting. And Lois should have married when she had prospects.
Everyone in this world couldn’t seem to move on. That was what she wanted—to move on. But no one else seemed to share the sentiment.
In the house, Claire and her mother saw the guests settled in their rooms. Mrs. Chattoway drew Claire aside for a moment afterward.
“Are you all right?” Her mother’s eyes were concerned. “You’re white as a sheet, Claire.”
She pressed her hands to her own cheeks—cold to the touch. “I suppose I might be. It’s strange to have him here.”
Mrs. Chattoway placed a gentle hand on her arm. “I can understand that. I wouldn’t want to be in this situation, but since you are, know that you have your mother here to talk to, if you like.” She leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Be brave. You’re home; he has no right to intimidate you.”
“Thank you.” Claire glanced down the hallway, her eyes flickering about, looking for a servant who might overhear—or more importantly her own child. Alice would love this, but she couldn’t know. Not yet. “I don’t believe he’s interested in me, but, I admit, it’s difficult not to feel something.”
Mrs. Chattoway’s eyes grew distant. “We’ll have to wait and pray. Remember, God has a plan for all this. He’s not passive in your life. Don’t be afraid; trust Him.”
A constant struggle Claire doubted she’d ever perfect. Still, she could try. “Thank you for the reminder. I’m trying.”
Her mother pulled her into her arms and held her tight. “Don’t you worry about it. God can help you deepen a relationship with Him, too. For now, wait. Who knows what He has planned for you?”
Hopefully, something calm. Claire was ready for the drama to be over. But whatever God had planned, she would indeed wait.
Alice ran down the stairs, Ivy close on her heels. Mr. Knight stood close to the bottom of the stairs, chatting with Uncle Charlie.
“Mr. Knight?” She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to call him something other than that, though she did hope eventually things would change. Until then, it was formalities.
“Hello, Alice.” He held out a hand to her, and she slid her fingers into his. “And Ivy, too! How are you young ladies?”
“I’m very well, thank you.” Alice shifted from foot to foot, unsure if she should curtsey, withdraw her hand, something. “Ivy is, too.”
Ivy dropped her eyes and shuffled behind Uncle Charlie.
Her father smiled. “Good. Your uncle was telling me about a pony you have—Truffle, is it? Will you forever have horses named after sweets?”
Heat rushed to Alice’s face. “I … I don’t know. Perhaps not. Perhaps not when I grow up and have a big horse … Uncle Charlie says I’ll grow out of Truffle soon.” She glanced at Uncle Charlie, who nodded.
“Her legs are almost too long for the little thing.”
She shot an annoyed look at her uncle. He knew very well that she didn’t care for her awkwardly long limbs. “Well, anyway, I didn’t name Sugarplum, did I?”
“You did not.” Mr. Knight glanced toward the door. “I’d like to meet Truffle, though—and see the stables, of course. Would you mind, Mr. Chattoway?”
“Not at all.”
Once they’d donned coats, they went out into the chilly air. The sky was overcast and smelled of snow, though none fell yet. Alice hoped it would, but sometimes it only looked like the clouds should release their stores but actually didn’t.
In the stables, a boy led Truffle out of a stall, and Mr. Knight was introduced. Alice admitted that, much as she had loved Sugarplum, Truffle was infinitely dearer to her.
Not that she wouldn’t mind seeing Sugarplum again. Esp
ecially if it meant seeing Kirk and the other servants. Pearlbelle was important to her, after all.
“It’s a bit cold for a ride at the moment.” Mr. Knight leaned against a stall door. “But I’m glad to have met her. We’ll go riding again soon, Alice.”
“All right.” She looked forward to it. “I miss Pearlbelle. That’s where I had the most fun.” She gave him a quick glance to make sure she hadn’t gone too far, but he nodded.
“Yes. I hope you’ll come to Pearlbelle this summer, actually. You and your mother—and Ivy, of course.” Ivy had remained back at the house. She didn’t much care for horses; they frightened her.
“Yes.” Alice sighed. “I’m not sure if Mummy will let us, but I’d like that very much. I have a holiday in July.”
“That would be nice. Ned will be two years old, too.” He absently ran his fingers through Truffle’s mane. “I’ve been taking him up on my horse recently. He’s a bit small for his own, but he’s not too young to be in my arms.”
Uncle Charlie chuckled. “I think if you had a wife, she’d soon put a stop to that.”
Mr. Knight’s eyes flickered to Alice before he met her uncle’s. “I’m not sure. It depends on the woman and the amount of trust she’s willing to place in you.”
I wonder if he’s thinking of the late Mrs. Knight or of Mummy. She wished she knew for certain. His dark eyes gave nothing away. If it were Mrs. Knight, there wasn’t a great deal of grief visible—a solemn expression was all. But then, sometimes Alice felt that men didn’t show as much emotion as women.
Or perhaps they simply didn’t feel as much.
“Do you think Ned will ever have another mother?” Again, she spoke before she thought. Alice wanted to slap herself. “I mean …” But there was no retracting it. She meant it, didn’t she? Knowing where he stood was important to her.
“Perhaps.” He stood up straight. “Actually, Alice, we should be spending time with little Ned. He knows you, I think, and I’d like you to be friends.”
Alice wanted to be friends with her father, mainly, but she didn’t say that. She followed him back out into the cold. Snow filled the air, and she couldn’t help but smile. Christmas Eve was tomorrow, and it would be lovely. Unless one had to travel, snow was definitely an important part of Christmas.
Neither Mr. Knight nor Uncle Charlie said anything, and Alice couldn’t have that. She ran up alongside her father and tugged on his arm.
“Mr. Knight?”
“Yes, Alice?”
“Did you get me a Christmas present?” It was all she could think to ask.
Uncle Charlie made a choking sound. “I’m finding your questions today very amusing, Alice, but you’d better be glad your mother isn’t here.”
She glared. “I want to know.”
“I did,” Mr. Knight said. “Ivy, as well.” A grin appeared on his face. “I can’t say what, of course. I did consult Lois, though, and she seems to think it’s a good selection.”
Alice nodded. Men really should get a woman’s approval before buying a gift. At least, she was always glad when Uncle Charlie consulted one. The things he thought to buy Mummy or Grandmother were sometimes silly. “I bought Ned a gift, but Mummy wasn’t sure I ought to buy one for you.” She glanced up at him. “Would you have minded?”
“Not at all, but I don’t need presents. It’s hard to find things for grown-ups, anyway. I remember that.”
They stepped through the front door and stamped snow off their feet. After their coats were peeled off, Uncle Charlie excused himself.
“Shall we collect Ned? His nanny has him, I believe, upstairs in an old nursery. We wouldn’t have travelled with him, honestly, but your letter was insistent.” Mr. Knight cocked his head. “Do you really care about the boy that much? You scarcely know him.”
Alice narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t think you’d leave him for Christmas.” Only a villain would leave his child alone during a time of the year when family ought to be together. Alice believed that firmly.
“True. Not that he knows what Christmas is.” They started up the stairs together. “He’s very small, you know.”
“But it’s the first Christmas he’s ever had when he’s been big enough to unwrap presents,” Alice protested. “And I did get him one.”
“Thank you. That was kind.”
Alice shrugged. “It wasn’t my money.”
Mr. Knight put a hand over his mouth for a bit. Alice suspected he was hiding a smile or a laugh, but she ignored the gesture.
“Would you really not mind if we came and visited next summer?” Alice paused at the top of the stairs and looked directly into his eyes. “You’ll ask Mummy?”
“I will. I don’t know how she’ll like it, but I will.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t think she likes me very much.”
“Oh, I think she does.” She must. “After all, you’re not that bad.”
He made a little chuckling sound. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad of that distinction—I suppose it’s better than being very bad.”
In truth, Alice wasn’t sure at all what her mother thought. However, she hoped that it was favorable. If it was, that might mean she could have a family again. She wanted nothing more.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Seven Months Later
July 1873
Pearlbelle Park
“There.” Mr. Knight mounted his gelding and glanced back at Alice. “Race you to the top of the hill?”
Alice twitched the reins about in her hands. She was making the mare she rode nervous, she knew, but her own nerves were hard to control. This was her first time riding a full-size horse outside of a safe paddock. Her father said she was ready, but was she?
“It’s all right. You can trust Athena.” He backed Roanoke up a few steps. “Follow me. I’ve seen you ride much faster than we will today.”
In a contained area. They’d been training for the last week, but Alice still wasn’t confident in her abilities. “Are you sure?”
“I am. I wouldn’t risk your safety, Alice. Trust me.” He met her gaze without flinching. “Take a deep breath. It’ll all work out.”
A slight breeze stirred stray tendrils of hair that had escaped her braid. She brushed them aside and directed her gaze up the green hill. “All right. Let’s go.”
Her mother had lately decided that she should be more ladylike when riding, but even a sidesaddle couldn’t curb her joy. The wind hit her face as they flew side by side up the hill. Riding Athena wasn’t anything like riding Truffle or Sugarplum. It was infinitely better.
At the top of the hill, she turned to him. “You’re right. But Mummy’s going to be furious either way, you know.”
Mr. Knight laughed. “She doesn’t need to know. As far as she’s concerned, we’re still in the paddock practicing.”
Alice wasn’t about to lie to her mother, but if she didn’t ask, there wasn’t probably a great need to worry her. “If you say so.” She only had another week or so with Mr. Knight, after all, and she wanted to maximize every moment with him.
Mr. Knight gestured down the opposite way. “There’s a path through the forest, and I don’t think we’ve followed it all the way to the border. Would you like to explore? It used to be a favorite ride of mine.”
Alice nodded, and they turned toward the north. In no time, they were riding down a shaded forest path, cool and peaceful. Birds fluttered from tree to tree, and a few rustles here and there indicated some wildlife, but otherwise, it was completely silent.
“I actually have a few questions while we’re here alone.” He glanced sideways at her. “Would you mind?”
Questions? Alice was much more used to asking than answering them, but she certainly didn’t mind. “Not at all.”
“Thank you.” His chest rose and fell slowly. “My first question is simple … or at least it could be. I’m not sure of your feelings, but it’s an honest question. Do you want me in your life? On a permanent basis?”
S
he blinked. Well, that was a ridiculous question. “Yes. Of course. You’re my father.”
His posture relaxed slightly. “But you don’t feel as if I’ve ruined things? I’ve hurt your mother. I married another woman. Even now … well, we had a few good moments this Christmas, but she’s still wary of me. I thought you might be, too.”
Alice could understand why her mother was hesitant. She’d been badly hurt. However, that just didn’t apply to Alice herself. “No, Mr. Knight, I’m not wary of you, and I don’t understand everything, but that was a long time ago.”
“It was.” He cocked his head. “But you still call me Mr. Knight. I would think Father would be better—or Papa, perhaps, if you can bear that. Why must I still be Mr. Knight?”
Alice blinked. “Well, you never asked me to call you anything different. I could call you Papa, I suppose.”
“Then do!” He leaned back in his saddle slightly, and Roanoke responded instantly. When he stopped, so did Athena. “And what of your mother? Has she said anything to you?”
Alice shook her head. Though she’d asked not long ago, her mother was still secretive about her feelings toward Mr. Knight. She praised him as a man, as a father even, but made no reference to her own heart.
He sighed. “I wish she’d let me in. My mourning is completed, and I see it as … No, that’s wrong.” Mr. Knight ran a hand over his face. “I was going to say that I see it as my duty to make things right, but it’s more than that. I cared for her once, deeply. Now that I’m free, that we’re both free, I would like to … Oh, dash it all, I’m not sure.”
Athena shifted from foot to foot and made a brrr sound, obviously displeased with their sudden stop. Alice let the mare have her head, and they continued on, though at a slower pace than before.
“Do you love her?” Alice kept her voice soft, as if speaking to a startled beast. “Would you like to marry her?”
