Sister?
In one statement, she turned everything I felt for Caden and what I believed he felt for me into something wrong, dirty, making it sound that we were actually related. Making a relationship between us impossible.
“You are not selling her off like cattle.” Caden stepped up to his dad, his fists tight at his side. “You can’t do this. I won’t allow it.”
“I can. Did. And you will.” Speaking so only Caden and I could hear, Istvan pushed into his son’s frame. “Now stop embarrassing me in front of our guests.”
How did I not see this coming? They had been grooming me for marriage since I became their ward. Now they would sell me to get more power and control. They would never have let me be with their son.
Rebeka’s odd speech to me on the way in made sense. She knew what was going to happen tonight and decided handing me over to an abusive monster was something she could live with if it kept her world protected.
My black-eyed gaze lifted to Rebeka, betrayal and hate spilling from my eyes. She held my stare for a moment, a slight apology in her gaze before she bowed her head, turning back to Sorina.
“I have so many ideas for the wedding; we must get together before you leave.” Rebeka acted as though Caden and Istvan weren’t about to throw down.
I choked. Bile burned up the back of my throat, twisting my stomach.
“Father.” Caden’s chest pillowed, his tone filled with warning.
“Caden.” Sharp. Cold. “Either you gather yourself together and act like the future leader or step out until you do. Let the grown-ups speak.”
Caden jerked back, fury flaring his nose, reddening his cheeks. I could see the debate in his eyes: one part wanted to fight his father, and one part wanted to please him. For a moment, I hoped the first one would win, that I was worth the fight.
Caden stepped back, shaking his head in abhorrence, then flipped around, stomping out of the room, leaving me. His departure made me feel he was throwing me to a pack of hyenas. Isolated. Alone.
“Brexley, I expect you will be more mature than my son.” Istvan turned into my space, speaking directly to me. “You might not be my actual flesh and blood, but I feel you are my daughter. You are smart, savvy, capable, strong, and understand when sacrifice for the greater good is necessary.”
Every word was set to flatter and control. I’d seen him use this tactic so many times.
“Do you understand the importance of this union?”
Disciplined to not show emotion, hiding the sobs building in my throat, my gaze slid over to Sergiu. His sour, annoyed, bored expression made me want to vomit. Elitist and traditionalist, much like his father, he treated women as if they were property. I felt repulsed at the thought of him touching me, thinking he had a right to my body because I was his wife.
Staring at him, I could see my future laid out. I would no longer do anything I loved, living a life in a cage the same as Sorina or even Rebeka. One you survived while you wished for death to take one of you.
I wasn’t built for that.
“Brexley?” Istvan’s voice drew my attention back to him. His eyes now held a bit of softness I had never seen. “I know this is not what you dreamed of. But you are far cleverer than him in everything. I taught both you and Caden the things you need to be great leaders someday. You will be the one to rule…not him.”
That was the real reason for this union. Through me, Istvan was hoping to gain Romania. I’m sure Lazar was planning for the opposite. I was much better suited for battle or running a country. It was well-known Sergiu had been pampered and spoiled his whole life. Even now, he stomped his foot and acted like a petulant child instead of a man who could rule, leading humans into the frontier against the fae.
I couldn’t stomp my feet or cry. I couldn’t throw a fit or tell them all to fuck off. He might say I was like a daughter to him, but I knew my place. I was their ward, owing them my obedience and loyalty for their kindness.
They could have turned me over to my criminal uncle I had never met, who ran off after the Fae War and hid out somewhere in Prague, or my hateful grandmother who banished her son because he fell in love with my mother. This woman saw me as an evil bastard child because my parents had never married. She thought my mother had been socially beneath my father.
The Markos family had fed, clothed, and loved me in their way. They weren’t bad people; they had given me the best of everything. Istvan was strict, but not once had he laid a hand on me. He was the one who taught me chess, who pushed me to study history, languages, and economics. He encouraged me to train in the academy when Rebeka thought I should be behaving more like a lady. It was all to have a smarter, stronger chess piece go into their game. Istvan wanted to dominate Romania, probably the entire Eastern Bloc. He didn’t want me to be a subservient wife. He wanted me as their queen.
His love had all been a loan.
And it was time for me to pay back my debt.
Chapter 6
“The ceremony should be here.” Rebeka lifted her hand, motioning around the room. “How beautiful the wedding would be in this room.”
“No.” Lazar shook his head. “It should be in Bucharest. Our palace of parliament is much grander.”
“Larger in size doesn’t mean better.” Istvan took a sip of his drink. “This building is the jewel of Eastern Europe, renowned and envied around the world. By far more beautiful. We will have the wedding here.”
They continued to talk about my future and my wedding to the asshole who was staring blatantly at women’s breasts near our group.
I glared at the floor, my fingers clutching the flute in my hand so tightly the glass cracked in protest. Except for the throbbing pain from my heels, I was numb. I wanted nothing more than to slip out of the torturous shoes and let myself bleed away into the shadows. I doubted they would even notice.
My brain zipped around, trying to compute all that happened in a short time. Caden’s “almost” declaration had left me buzzing with possibility and excitement, but this untimely marriage proposal had shot me down from the sky, ripping away any hope and exhilaration I had. The bars of my gilded jail had been shrinking down on me so slowly, I didn’t notice until they crushed me.
“We have a lot to go over. Let’s meet after breakfast to go over the marriage contract. By then, the train should be in Prague.” Istvan’s words trickled into my head as the women discussed having two engagement parties, one in Bucharest and the other here.
“Prague?” Alexandru Lazar frowned, not looking pleased. “I hope you have extra security on it. I’ve heard Povstat is only getting bolder and stronger there.”
“Povstat is nothing more than what Sarkis’s army is here. Your own country has them. A bunch of thugs playing at a man’s game.”
Povstat the Rebels, and Sarkis the Protectors, were the most notable of the rebellion groups popping up, the ones fighting against both sides, gaining power with those in the middle ground between the pure fae and elite humans.
“They blew up two government buildings in the last two weeks there and four trains.”
“I have full confidence in my trained soldiers compared to some hooligans with overinflated confidence.” Istvan took a drink. “Now, can we get back to the union of your son and my daughter?”
Daughter?
My mind stopped on thoughts of my father and how different everything would be if he were still alive. I’d marry Sergiu a hundred times if it would bring him back. There wasn’t a day I didn’t miss him. His death was still an open wound. So many things I did now were for him, to make him proud. Although he was a tough, stern man with his troops, he had been fair and kind. He was the type you wanted to work harder to impress and to earn his esteem. I got to see his soft side, his kindness and warmth. I never questioned his love and pride in me. He defied his parents, falling in love with a woman they didn’t deem worthy of his stature. She was poor. They never married, keeping their love a secret. I didn’t even have a picture of her. Their l
ove story was short, enough time for her to get pregnant and carry me to term, but fierce with passion. My Uncle Andris said my father was never the same after her death. Dad talked very little of her, but when he did, the reverence and love he felt for my mother was still obvious.
“Kicsim, your mother...she was so smart. I don’t think I ever had a chance at winning any battle when it came to her. She was strong, funny, and her beauty…she could drop me to my knees with a smile.” He brushed a piece of hair off my face. “You are so much like her. You have her black hair and eyes. You also have the same fierce nature. You don’t even realize how special you are. Never accept anything less than your worth.”
My father never moved on after her death, burning for her until his last breath.
He would never have wanted this for me.
Imaginary walls pressed into my chest, blocking the air to my lungs, panic crawling under my skin. The party around me grew hazy and distant. I had to get out of here. Every word they spoke about my impending fate crawled up my throat. The need to scream, to smash my goblet onto the ground, had me clutching my glass harder.
“Excuse me.” I bowed my knees, turning before anyone could stop me, and hauled my ass toward the doors. Once out of sight, my walk evolved into a jog out of the room and down the passage.
Run. The demand shrieked at me over and over.
Tearing off my shoes, I chucked the heels down a hall as I ran up the stairs, my bare feet padding over the rugs, going higher and higher until the carpet became stone. Clutching my dress, I felt like a version of a fairy tale I read about as a child, but instead of running away from the prince at midnight, I was running to him.
I was far past where any visitor was allowed, and everything here was unadorned and basic, the opulence saved for the guests far below. My thighs burned as I pushed them up more and more stairs, my body automatically set on its course, knowing the route by heart. Very few knew of this spot or cared to go there.
A gust of wind pummeled me as I shoved open the door. I stumbled back, goosebumps exploding over my skin. This high up, the chilly wind channeling off the river whipped around, tangling my hair into knots and burning inside my lungs.
Walking farther out into the night, the catwalk trailed along the burnt-red roof, weaving through the dramatic spires. My feet padded away from the massive dome, the room I just left, the festivities far below, filled with smiles and laughter, their lives not destroyed under the sparkling chandeliers.
Lights glowed from the bridges and the fae palace across the river, the Danube glistening, resembling the stars in the sky. Up here, everything felt possible. Problems were far away. It was beautiful. Peaceful.
As children, Caden and I used the roof as our playground. The older we got, we still found ourselves up here often, either sneaking a bottle of palinka or imported vodka from Istvan’s private collection, needing a place to let go of the demands and strains of life. Here we had no responsibilities or pressures. We could just be. I came a lot when my father died.
Rolling my hair into a knot, strands still whipped at my face as I strolled down the walk, my toes protesting at the freezing metal.
My heart fluttered, seeing what I hoped would be here.
A dark silhouette sat, legs dangling through the bars over a death drop. A bottle went to his lips, and he slammed back a gulp.
Silently, I strolled up to him, tucking up my dress so I could sit next to him and thread my legs through the bars. I gazed out at the breathtaking view, inhaling a deep breath. This was my favorite spot in the whole place. It made me feel life could be happy. Free. That both sides could find harmony.
Staring at the fae side, the beauty of the architecture across the water was breathtaking. For one moment, I could imagine this city being one. Freedom to go anywhere. No sides. No us versus them. A life where Caden and I could have a picnic in the park and walk hand in hand, laughing and loving.
“You found me,” he muttered, handing me the bottle of palinka, the potency from the fruit-fermented brandy burning my nose from here. Growing up on this stuff had our tolerance for alcohol at unbelievable levels.
“I knew you’d be here.” I took a swig, the alcohol sizzling the back of my throat, warming my muscles.
“Really?” He took it back.
“It’s where we come when we want to fight the world.” I curled my arms over a rail, perching my chin on it. “Plus, I know you.”
“Yeah.” He huffed through his nose, procuring another drink. “I guess you do. The only one who really does.”
I looked over at him. He kept his gaze out, not meeting my eyes. He swallowed, letting silence fall between us, anger thrumming under his skin.
“Caden…” I croaked over his name, scared to push him, but I needed to know.
He twisted his head away from me, slightly shaking it.
“Talk to me.”
“Why?” he snapped back to me. “We should probably start learning not to. You’ll soon be confiding in your husband.”
“Stop.” My lip lifted in a grimace. “Don’t even start that shit. You think I want this? You think this is what I dreamed of? The man I wanted to spend my life with?”
“Then refuse.”
“Refuse?” A barked laugh tore at my throat. “Like it’s so easy.”
“Why not?”
“Don’t make this sound as if it’s simple. I have nothing, Caden. Nothing.” When my father died, he didn’t have much besides a few trinkets that were sentimental but had no real value. “Without your parents taking me in, I would have been on the streets. Just another worker in the Savage Lands trying to survive off a loaf of bread.”
“It doesn’t mean they own you. Can trade you like cattle.”
“Would you say no if your father said you had to marry some Polish princess to secure Hungary?”
“Yes!”
I tilted my head, my gaze drilling into him. He huffed again, wiggling beneath the weight of his lie. He knew he wouldn’t have a choice either. Our duty, defending our country, the human race, was in our DNA.
“Brex…” My name came out a choked whisper, thick with despair and frustration.
The tears I fought earlier returned full force, blurring my vision. Overwhelmed with grief, anger, heartbreak, and passion, I couldn’t get my mouth to move, to tell him I’d been in love with him for so long. He was all I wanted and who I wished to grow old with.
“I don’t want you to marry him,” he said softly, his brown eyes finding mine.
“I don’t either.” I gulped over the lump in my throat. All I saw was misery before me. My tongue was sharp, my will too strong, but I wondered how long it would take before Sergiu broke it.
Caden watched me, his tongue sliding over his lip, drawing my gaze to his mouth. I wanted nothing more than to finally know what it felt like to taste him. To feel his lips on mine.
“Caden?” I bit my mouth. Despair waited for me downstairs. For one moment, I wanted to know pure happiness. To be able to think back to this when I wanted to escape and know I had one second of joy.
Leaning into him, the heat of his mouth was so close to mine. My heart hummed in my ears, making me forget all about the cold or grief.
Caden froze, not moving away, but not moving closer, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Brex, don’t.”
“Why?” Pain and desperation rang in the single word like a bell. “Don’t you want to kiss me?”
His chest moved violently up and down. “More than you know.”
“Then please, Caden.”
Agony flinched his cheek. “I can’t.”
Rejection filled my eyes, shattering my chest as if ice cracking open.
He grabbed my cheek, his warm palm cupping my face, his eyes wild and desperate.
“Fuck, Brex. This is torture. I want nothing more than to kiss you. To lay you down up here, amongst the stars, the world at our feet, and show you how much I want you. How I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
“What?”
A gulped cry hiccupped up my throat. He had wanted me? I thought it was completely one-sided. I could only think about all the wasted time. Now it was almost too late.
“Gods, do you even know how beautiful you are? So breathtaking I can’t think properly when you are around.”
Really? He never acted like I interested him. “But—”
“That’s why I can’t.” Both his hands slid along my jaw, drawing me closer to him, his mouth skimming mine. “Because if I get a taste of you, I will never be able to let you go. And seeing you with Sergiu…it will destroy me.” He leaned his forehead into mine, torturing me with the proximity of his lips, his hot breath against my mouth.
“We’ll have the memory. I can carry it forever, getting me through the darkest of nights.” My hand drew up to his mouth, touching his lips. Begging. Needing. It felt like the one thing that would let me float above the woe.
He inhaled sharply, like I was breaking him down. His mouth skated over mine, landing on the corner of my lips, kissing me softly.
“I can’t. Kissing you, being with you, will destroy me. I must do the right thing.” He drew back, tearing my heart from my chest, gutting me, bleeding out my hope. “Ask anything else from me, and I will give it to you. But this I can’t. I won’t come back from it.”
I’d spent so many years hiding my emotions, but now a sob pushed out of me. What I wanted was within grasp, and I couldn’t have it.
The horn of a train floated from below, my eyes watching it curve onto the bridge, gliding across to the fae side.
“The items will be departing on the train before dawn. Without a hitch, I assure you.”
“It will make both our countries very wealthy. Once it is out there, we will control the trade—become untouchable. Have power and unyielding armies at our fingertips. Trust me. What I have seen… there is no question it works.”
My attention stayed on the train, the thought sprouting up like a geyser. It was the only thing I had left. To feel alive. Free. Every minute from now on, my life would whittle down to a point. The freedom I took for granted, I would only dream about later. Sergiu, Lazar, and Istvan would all control me in some way.
Savage Lands Page 5
