by Mia Malone
“No one forced you to look,” I said.
Joke started laughing, and my eyes met Lee’s. She was giggling, and I wiggled my brows a little. Then we had dessert and some more wine. Conversation flowed smoothly around the table, and we were laughing so much I wondered if I’d feel it in my belly the next day. A DJ started playing music, and the place filled up with people who mostly went straight for either the bar or the dance floor.
It was still early when we moved over to a group of couches and chairs that miraculously had become free. I had been at the far end of the table so all the seats were taken when I got there, and I was about to sit on the arm of Joke’s chair when he got up, picked me off the floor and sat back down with me on his lap.
“Am I too heavy?” I asked.
I wasn’t huge, but I was in no way skinny so it might not be comfortable for him to have me perched on legs that surely must be tired after our day of skiing.
“If you think having your ass that close to my dick is uncomfortable, babe; think again.”
Oh. Lee had told me Joke was a boob-man, but I didn’t think so. Tug had told me to wiggle my butt. And to just do him.
I leaned into his side and looked up at him.
“Joke,” I murmured.
“Uh-huh,” he said and tilted his head toward me.
“After rehab, when I knew that I wouldn’t ski again,” I started and felt him tense. “I spent a few years working through that.”
“Baby,” he murmured, and I moved my lips over his neck.
“I was such a slut,” I told him.
His head moved abruptly, and our eyes met.
“I was,” I said quietly. “And I liked it. I’m figuring out all the pieces that are me and how they fit together, and I want to find that girl again. The one who liked sex, and who liked it a little dirty.”
His eyes had darkened, and his mouth was open, so I felt his breaths against my lips. I moved my behind against him and felt his cock against it.
“Will you help me find her, Zacharias?” I breathed out.
“Yeah,” he rasped out.
“Will you fuck me tonight?”
He knifed out of the chair in a fluid movement I wouldn’t have thought possible, still holding me in his arms.
“Night,” he grunted in the general direction of the others.
I heard their cheery good nights as he walked straight to the doors leading into the hotel part, but I ignored them and kept watching Joke as we made our way toward his room.
Chapter Nine
Joke
He set her down on her feet by the elevators and watched as she turned forward. The burst of courage had passed, he thought.
“Babe,” he murmured and pulled her closer. “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“Okay,” she said but didn’t look at him.
He got them to his room and watched her walk inside in front of him, hoping he’d find a way to get her back to where she had been just minutes earlier.
“Changed your mind, Siss?” he asked quietly.
“No.”
The answer came instantly, and she finally looked at him.
“I used to be good at this,” she said and raised her chin slightly. “It just hit me that I might not be all that good anymore.”
“Come here.”
When she didn’t move, he did.
“Tell me about that girl,” he murmured. “The one who liked it a little bit dirty.”
She smiled, and when he brushed his hands over her sides, she tilted her head back and looked at him.
“She was angry at first, but it got better. Then she was a lot of fun… Had a lot of fun.”
“Okay,” he prompted when she trailed off.
“I worked as a bartender for three years. In a strip joint.”
He blinked.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” she grinned. “Great place but kind of sleazy. I shared a small place with one of the girls.” She paused and pursed her mouth a little. “One of the dancing girls,” she clarified.
“Yeah?” he echoed. “She teach you how to do it?”
That got surprised laughter out of her and he felt his already hard cock twitch at the thought of what he hoped she might have learned.
“She did,” she admitted. “I never danced on stage, though.”
“You might remember it,” he said, trying his best to sound casual. “We’ll see. Not today.”
“Okay.”
“We’re not gonna do anything dirty tonight, baby,” he murmured and moved his hands in under her shirt. “Later… oh, yeah. We’ll start off easy, though.”
“Okay,” she repeated, but he heard the soft hitch in her voice.
“Tonight you’re gonna come when I’m inside you. No faking. No pretending. Simple and easy.”
Her shirt went over her head, and he almost groaned when he saw her black, lacy bra.
“I’m not twenty,” she said.
“Neither am I.”
He put his hands between his shoulder blades and tugged off his tee. Then he unbuttoned her jeans and started pushing them downward.
“My leg is ugly,” she whispered when he crouched down to steady her as she stepped out of the jeans.
His position had put his face close to her low, black, lacy hipsters and he wanted to groan again. And then he did because right there, peeking out over her panties was her palm-sized black tattoo. He pulled her panties down slightly and moved his mouth over the black marks,
“Christ, baby,” he murmured. “That is so sexy.”
“But –”
She cut herself off and he got up slowly.
“What?” he murmured.
“My leg.”
“We’ll get to your legs, baby. In my current condition I gotta prioritize,” he murmured and slid his hands around to cup her behind.
Jesus. She had a fucking fantastic ass, something he’d noticed repeatedly, but having his hands on her was better than he’d imagined. Then he lifted her and carried her over to the bed, put her down and moved her into the mattress with his torso as he came down on top of her. Slowly he started to move his hands over her but then he jerked back.
“Are you laughing?” he asked, which was stupid because she was.
“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met,” she said. “I’m not sure what to do.”
“You wanted it a little dirty, babe,” he said with a grin. “Someone asking for dirty should be able to handle regular missionary.”
She giggled again, and a blush crept up her neck.
“Are you sure my leg doesn’t put you off?” she whispered.
He shifted over to his side, took hold of her hand, and put it over his cock. He was hard, and when her hand moved over him, it twitched.
“What do you think?”
She didn’t reply and slowly moved her fingers to unbutton his pants. Then she pushed at his clothes, and he lifted his hips to help her. When she grabbed hold of him, he closed his eyes briefly and hissed out a soft, “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” she said.
He slid her panties off, got out of his own clothes and pushed her legs apart as he lay down beside her. She was soft and warm under his hands and when he slowly slid his hand in between her legs, she was already wet. He moved his fingers slowly over her clit, and she groaned.
“You like that,” he murmured and moved his fingers faster.
It took no time at all to make her forget the shyness he’d seen on her face when they entered the room and when he pushed two fingers inside she arched her back and moaned again.
“There you go,” he murmured, moved away to grab a condom and give it to her. “Put this on, baby.”
She looked at the small package and then at him.
“I’ve never –”
He grinned at her and opened the package with one hand and his teeth.
“About time you learn,” he said.
She held him with one hand and fumbled with the condom.
> “Like this,” he said when she made a frustrated sound and used his own hand to help her.
Then he kissed her and felt her gasp when he kept his hand over hers to move it over him a few times.
Their hands started roaming and when she was moving her hips restlessly against him, he got up on his knees between her legs and slid inside.
“No faking, Sissy,” he murmured
God. It felt like heaven to have her wrapped around him, and he clenched his teeth firmly together to hold on to his control. He was not going to come this fast.
Slowly he straightened and looked at her sprawled out in front of him. His cock was inside her, and her eyes were on him. Hot and full of that heat he’d hoped would be there when he first met her.
“You’re gorgeous, Sissy,” he whispered. “Now come for me.”
His thumb found her clit, and he moved it, slowly at first but as her breaths quickened, faster and then he moved to, sliding in and out with long sure strokes.
“Joke,” she said hoarsely and reached for him.
“Right here, Siss. Come on now, baby. Just let go.”
And just like that, she did. Shaking and moaning she twisted her head to the side and into the pillow. He slapped it away and leaned in over her.
“Look at me,” he rasped hoarsely, and as she kept coming, he kept his eyes locked with her ice blue, hotter than the sun eyes.
When she finally settled back into the bed, he slowed down and grinned at her.
“Wow,” she sighed. “I didn’t…”
“Hang on babe,” he grunted. “One more.”
Her eyes widened, and he had to look away from her until he had himself under control again. Then he moved, his hands and his mouth, bucking his hips, all the time watching her to figure out what she liked and what made her body quiver underneath him. It took longer the second time, and the way her hands moved had him wishing he’d restrained her, just a little bit. Another time, he decided and gritted his teeth when he felt her mouth on his chest. He held back until she came again but when she whimpered softly, and he felt her pussy quiver, he let go, pushing deep inside her and groaning against her neck as he came.
***
Sissy
I woke up sprawled all over Joke. He was on his back, and I was all over him in a way that I found slightly embarrassing. I’d never been a cuddler and had preferred to have my own sheets and comforter even in the bed I’d shared with Dante. And there I was, leg over his crotch, head on his chest and arm wrapped around him.
He held one of his arms around me too, and tightly. The other was up next to his head, and the muscles flexed in a way that sent a shiver down my spine.
I’d come during sex. Him inside me. Twice.
Wow.
I felt his cock underneath my leg, shifted it and moved my head to look down. He was hard. It was early, but he wouldn’t mind if I touched him just a little, would he?
“Sissy,” he murmured. “Stop staring at my cock and kiss me good morning.”
I tilted my head back to stare into his laughing eyes. His long hair was messy, he had a stubble on his cheeks, and both looked really, really good on him.
“I was just…”
He started laughing and moved us, so we were on our sides, facing each other.
“Getting horny?”
“Um.”
I was, and I had told him I wanted to find the wild girl again but I hadn’t really known what I asked for, I realized. Being verbal about being… well, horny, was not what I was used to. I was indeed turned on, but I hadn’t planned to actually talk about it.
“Say it.”
“Okay. I was, um…”
“Horny.”
“Horny,” I agreed with a weak laugh.
“I’m sure we can do something about that.”
Then he moved my knee up over his hip and his hand down between my legs. The way his fingers slid between my folds was sweet, and I felt it coming on hard and fast. I was just about to let go when he moved away.
“Joke,” I protested.
“Gonna show you something,” he murmured.
Then he put a condom on so quickly my brows went up, pushed me to my back and slid inside.
“Okay, baby,” he murmured. “Here we go.”
Then he pumped a few times, leaned his head into my shoulder and groaned loudly. I felt his cock jerk as he came.
What?
I felt a little disappointed and wondered what the hell he was thinking. I’d been so close, and he hadn’t seemed like the kind of man who would –
I cut my thoughts off when I realized that he was still moving, and turned my head to look at him.
“Put your hand between your legs, Sissy.”
“What?”
“Gonna stay hard a while. I ever get so hot I can’t hold back, then you still come with my cock inside you. No faking. No leaving my bed disappointed.”
Oh.
“Make yourself come, baby.”
I slid my hand in between us, and as he kept moving slowly, I put my fingers on my clit and made myself come. He was watching me the whole time and caught my moans with his mouth when it rolled over me.
***
None of the others commented on the fact that they probably had a pretty good idea why we left the restaurant early. Mac had the room next to mine, and when I was unlocking my door to go in and change into something I hadn’t worn the evening before, he walked out, smiled sweetly, murmured a good morning and something about coffee and disappeared down the corridor. Considering how casually they talked about sex, I expected someone to say something, and braced when I sat down at the breakfast table, but they talked about how we’d go skiing for a few hours before heading back home and who would go in which car so we could load up the bags before hitting the slopes.
I zoned out when they planned the cars, and carrying anything was apparently not something women were allowed to do, so I stood by the lifts with Lee and Jenny while the manly men carried our small overnight bags to the vehicles. We joked a bit about how sweet albeit ridiculous they were and talked about which slopes we’d go to. I put a second layer of sunblock on my face, and the others borrowed some. It felt normal.
Except I didn’t feel normal. I felt like doing a small victory dance.
The happiness lasted through the day, and when I sat in Joke’s car looking at how the others had split up between Lee’s and Paddy’s, I started laughing.
“Enjoy their unexpected burst of considerate behavior,” Joke said with a grin. “Won’t happen again.”
As we drove down the mountain, I told him about my job in a dinky strip joint.
“It hurt so much, you know?” I said. It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t expect an actual reply, and he nodded silently. “When I started working there… I was so angry. I had so much hurt inside, and didn’t want to talk about it.” I paused and grinned. “I had black hair.”
That got me a surprised chuckle.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Looked weird.”
He glanced at me, and his eyes were laughing when he said, “You have pictures?”
“Some. Not showing them because it did look weird in a way that wasn’t good weird. It was really, really bad weird.” He was about to object, but I talked over him and went on with my story. “First six months, I mostly slammed beer bottles into the bar and growled at people. Then Mellie, the girl I shared a small place with told me to either get a grip and come with her to a party or move out.” I grinned. “I went to the party.”
“It got better?” he asked quietly when I sat there, remembering how we’d walked into a rowdy party, and how I to my surprise had enjoyed myself for the first time after a very long stretch of fuck-me-to-hell-and-back.
“Yeah,” I said. “I started to accept what wouldn’t happen, and tried to figure out what I should do instead.”
“You still in touch with her?”
“No,” I said quietly. “We weren’t close…
not really. We lived together and worked in the same place. Partied together. Did a lot of shit together… but we didn’t talk, not about stuff that mattered. I guess we both had demons chasing us and neither was ready to face them. And then…”
“What?” he prompted when I trailed off.
“I found out that she was doing drugs. Sure, I smoked some recreational pot when someone offered it, but nothing else. Always said no. She didn’t, and I found shit at our place. That got me thinking, and it also scared me. What if the police came around? I’d go down with her.” I made a face. “Ego much?”
“Her habits, not your problem.”
“I know. And I tried talking to her about it. She said she had it under control, but I still had to choose me over her problems. So I applied to college, quit my job, and left.”
We sat in silence for a while and then I took a deep breath.
“She overdosed two days after I graduated.”
“Ah, fuck,” Joke sighed.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Not much I could have done for her, but it still hurt.”
He put a hand on my leg, and I put my hand on top of it. Then I told him about the parties we’d been to, and how I’d spent months getting the black color out of my hair.
“Babe. You left out the dirty part,” he murmured when he’d stopped laughing at the thought of my twenty-something self with grayish hair.
I opened my mouth but closed it with a snap and stared at him.
“I can’t sit here and talk about sex,” I blurted out.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because –” I didn’t really know why I couldn’t, so I restarted. “What do you want to know?”
“What did you like the most?”
Heat washed over me, and I squirmed a little. He chuckled, and I was about to tell him the truth which was that I had absolutely no idea at all, but my phone rang. I stared at it and muttered a soft curse. Then I answered.
“Dante, hey.”
Joke straightened and slowed down the car slightly, but kept his eyes on the road.
Then I listened to my ex-husband tell me how it wouldn’t be safe for the girls to come and see me. We had planned to go skiing in one of the smaller towns where I hadn’t been before. I’d meet them at the airport, and we’d drive there. I’d booked a hotel room in Lee’s name, and Dante had agreed to it all.
