by Vawn Cassidy
Mel looks to me, and I nod slowly.
She rises regally from her position crouched beside me and walks across the kitchen toward the doorway. The woman is five four if she’s an inch, but as she passes my father, she looks up steadily at him towering above her, his blue eyes as cold as ice.
‘Just so you know,’ she says coolly. ‘If you hurt him, I have an entire set of kitchen knives and meat cleavers, and not only do I know how to use them, I have at least twenty people who will not only be prepared to offer me an alibi no questions asked but will also be prepared to hide a body.’
I watch her sail out of the kitchen with a sniff of disapproval. I would’ve laughed if I wasn’t so damn churned up inside.
‘Nathan,’ he says quietly, and my stomach swoops. He never shouts, he never loses his temper, he’s always so cold, so tightly controlled, and his quiet, deadly tone is almost worse than if he’d yelled. ‘You’ve cost me a great deal of time, expense and embarrassment.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I breathe, and the words are out of my mouth before I even realise it. It is so easy to shrug back into the skin I always wear when I’m around him.
‘Sorry, young man, doesn’t even begin to repair the damage and upset you’ve caused.’ His eyes flash, and it’s the first glance of real emotion I’ve seen from him. ‘I’ve told the partners you contracted a virus and have been recovering at a private facility in the Cotswolds. They’re holding your job for you, and you can return on Monday morning.’
‘You did what?’ I say slowly, knowing that I’d resigned from my job with no intention of returning. ‘Why would they even believe that? I emailed my resignation before I left.’
‘Yes, well, I intercepted that email.’ He sniffs dismissively. ‘And amended it requesting a temporary leave of absence instead. I thought it best to give you time to reflect on your behavior before you return. You were due to be out of the office anyway for your honeymoon.’
‘You had no right to do that,’ I reply.
‘What choice did I have?’ he hisses. ‘Did you forget who your fiancée’s father is?’
‘How could I, when you both reminded me on a daily basis,’ I grate from between clenched teeth, feeling Nat stir beneath the surface.
It didn’t help that Grace’s father was one of the partners at my father’s company. In fact, it was the pair of them that had decided it would be a good idea for Grace and me to begin dating, and then they’d pushed and manoeuvred until I found myself engaged and about to walk down the aisle without a clue how I’d gotten to that point, but I was done being manipulated. I’ve found a life for myself here, and I am not going to give it up without a fight.
‘By telling them you had an illness I was able to explain having to delay the wedding too. We’ve managed to secure a new date,’ he continues, blithely unaware of my epiphany or my impending rebellion, Molly would be so proud. ‘You and Grace will marry in three weeks’ time, that should give you enough time to settle back in at work and make your apologies. I think it would also be for the best if you stayed at the townhouse with your mother and I until after the wedding.’
‘No.’
He blinks as if he’s not quite sure he heard me correctly.
‘Excuse me?’ he says slowly.
‘I… said… no…’ I repeat with great articulation. ‘I am not returning to London; I’m not staying in that mausoleum you call a house. I am not returning to work at your firm, and I am sure as hell not marrying Grace.’
There I’d done it. I’d finally said it, and it was a hell of a weight off my shoulders. I no longer cared what he thought. This is my home and my life, and I’m not going to let him dictate it any longer.
‘What did you say to me?’ he whispers in that deadly tone that has always cowed me in the past, but this time, I straighten my spine and raise my chin defiantly.
‘You should try some hearing aids,’ I say coolly.
‘How dare you.’ His eyes flash. ‘You ungrateful little brat. You’re the one who broke poor Grace’s heart.’
‘Nice try,’ I reply flatly. ‘But do you know where I was the night before the wedding?’ I wait for him to answer but he doesn’t. ‘No?’ I continue. ‘I went to Grace’s flat. I didn’t want to get married, and I seriously doubted she did either. She and I have nothing in common. It occurred to me that I was about to commit myself for the rest of my life to someone I didn’t love, wasn’t attracted to, and to be brutally honest, didn’t really like and for what? Because our fathers thought it was a good idea? Because we were from the same social class?’ I shake my head. ‘I knew it would be the biggest mistake of my life and hers, so I went to talk to her, and do you know what I found?’ I stare at him, watching as his mouth tightens. ‘I found her in bed with another man.’ I tell him bluntly. ‘Another man she’d been sleeping with for over six months. Another man,’ I add. ‘That I’m pretty certain she’s in love with. In that second it had never been clearer to me. We were about to marry, and I couldn’t understand how we’d let ourselves be manipulated to this point. Marriage should be about love, and commitment, it should be about wanting to spend your life with that person and announcing it to the world. Not being bullied into it because our parents want it. So, I told her then and there the wedding was off, and I wished her every happiness. I’m done being a puppet.’
I can tell he isn’t happy hearing his potential future daughter in law was sleeping with someone else, and I hope it doesn’t cause trouble for Grace, but I’m done lying.
‘Well,’ he concedes reluctantly. ‘Maybe marrying Grace isn’t for the best.’ He glowers at me as if he is doing me some sort of fucking favor. ‘Come back home, and I’m sure we can find you someone more suitable.’
‘I told you, I’m already home. I’m not going back to London, except maybe to visit my sister, and I’ve already met someone else.’ I draw in a deep breath. ‘And he’s the love of my life.’
‘He?’ my father repeats slowly, his expression morphing into something darker.
‘Yes, he,’ I say bravely, even though my stomach is shaking, and my hands are trembling, I fist them tightly and stand a little straighter staring at him defiantly. ‘I’m gay, and I’ve met a man I love more than anything or anyone.’ I swallow tightly. ‘I hope he loves me too, although I’m not sure if he does, he’s a little mad at me right now.’
‘He’s not mad at you,’ a familiar voice rumbles from the side entrance to the kitchen, and I turn toward that warm voice like a flower turning toward the sun. I can feel the cold, icy gaze of my father drilling into my back, but all my focus is on Beck. He came back to me. He came to find me, and that’s all that matters. He crosses the small distance between us, cupping my face, his expression soft and tender. ‘I do love you.’ He tells me sincerely, and my stomach clenches at his soft heartfelt admission. There’s so much I want to say but not like this, not in front of my father.
‘This is Beck,’ I turn and introduce him, as he takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. ‘He’s my…’
‘Boyfriend,’ he finishes for me as he glances at my father. ‘Mr Elliott.’ He holds out his hand. ‘I’m Nat’s boyfriend.’
My father looks down at Beck’s hand like he has leprosy, and Beck drops it to his side, his expression unconcerned.
‘I’ve spent my whole life trying to live up to your expectations,’ I tell my father. ‘Wanting you to be proud of me, wanting you to love me and blaming you because I was so unhappy, but part of that’s on me. I should have been honest, and I wasn’t. I should’ve told you how I felt, but I didn’t. So, I’m telling you now, I’m gay, I’m in love, and for the first time in my life, I’m really happy, and as my father I would hope that you can, if not be happy for me, at least accept me as I am.’
He stares at me silently; the disgust clear in his pale blue gaze as the silence stretches out between us endlessly.
‘Say something,’ I whisper.
‘You’re no son of mine,’ he says coldly, and without an
other word, he turns his back on me and walks out of the kitchen.
I’m not surprised, but the sting of the rejection burns hot and bright. A painful sense of loss, even as I feel the relief that it’s over, and I finally have some sort of closure. I’m not even aware of the tears rolling down my cheeks until Beck wipes them away gently.
‘I’m sorry, baby.’ He rests his forehead against my temple. ‘I’m so sorry, but it’s his loss.’
I turn to him slowly, blinking back the tears. ‘Beck.’ My voice cracks painfully. ‘I should have told you about Grace, but it’s not…’
‘I heard.’ Beck cups my face tenderly. ‘I’m sorry too, I should have let you explain. I shouldn’t have stormed off like an idiot.’ He brushes my lip softly with the pad of his thumb. ‘I’m so in love with you, Nat,’ he whispers. ‘That the thought of losing you nearly broke me.’
‘I was never leaving you, you have to believe that,’ I tell him fiercely.
‘I do believe it.’ He reaches up and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear as he traces the stubble at my jaw.
‘Grace and my father are my past. I didn’t know it at the time, but from the moment I got on that train, I was leaving that life and coming to find you.’ I lean my forehead against his and breathe him in.
‘Nat,’ he breathes heavily. ‘You’re everything to me.’
I pull back far enough to look into those warm comforting hazel eyes, and I know there can’t be any more secrets between us. ‘Beck, there’s something else I should tell you.’ I draw in a deep breath. ‘It’s about Sully’s.’
‘Nat, I know.’ He toys with my hair affectionately.
‘What?’ I frown in confusion.
‘I know that you put nearly all your money into saving my dad’s restaurant and that you could still lose everything.’
‘How did you find out?’
‘Ryan was eavesdropping.’ Beck smiles.
‘No, I wasn’t,’ a muffled voice comes from behind the crack in the door.
Beck sniggers softly before sobering, his gaze serious. ‘You didn’t have to do that, Nat.’
‘I know, but I wanted to,’ I tell him honestly.
‘Why?’
‘Because.’ I blow out a breath trying to find the words to explain. ‘The money doesn’t mean anything. I’ve had money all my life and I was miserable. Coming here, to the bay... meeting you and Mel and everyone. I can’t even begin to make you understand what you all mean me, but most importantly... I did it for you.’
‘Nat,’ he whispers.
‘I know how much you loved your dad, and how sad it makes you that he’s gone. I didn’t want you to lose that last piece of him.’
‘I don’t deserve you.’
‘Yes, you do.’ I smile softly. ‘Believe me, I’m no great catch, but you... you’re the best man I’ve ever known.’
‘You’re perfect.’ He slides his arms around me, drawing me in close until you couldn’t slide a piece of paper between us. ‘Nat, I thought I knew what love was, but what I felt for Mattia all those years ago is nothing to how I feel about you. You’re the love of my life.
‘Beck,’ I exhale sharply as he grazes my lips with his own. ‘I’ve put my flat in London on the market. I want to stay here with you if you’ll have me?’
‘Are you kidding?’ he breathes. ‘I’m never letting you go.’
‘I love you,’ I whisper against his lips.
‘I love you right back.’ He grins, laying a soft kiss full of promise on my lips. ‘You’re coming to live with me at the cottage, right?’ He pulls back and looks at me tenderly.
‘I don’t know.’ I bite my lip. ‘I was thinking about renting a place. I don’t want to ruin what we have by rushing things.’
‘Nat, it’s not going to ruin anything.’
‘You don’t think it’s too soon?’ I frown worriedly, even though my stomach is tightening in anticipation, and my heart is thundering with the thought of living with the man I love.
‘I’ll remodel the kitchen for you,’ he teases.
‘Oh, I don’t know.’ I wrap my arms around his neck and smile as I kiss him again. ‘After two months of cooking in there, I find I’m quite fond of that travesty you call a kitchen.’
‘Come and live with me, Nat,’ he says seriously. ‘Grow old with me in our cottage overlooking the bay.’
I can’t help the smile that curves across my face.
‘Yes,’ I reply simply.
I hear a loud pop and turn to find Jesse, Ryan and Mel holding glasses and a bottle of champagne.
‘I think this calls for a celebration.’ Mel laughs delightedly. ‘Welcome to the family, Nat. None of us are letting you go; you officially belong to us now.’
My heart warms, and everything inside me fills as I stare at Beck and see endless love and possibilities.
Epilogue
Nat
Welcome to the first annual festival of the sea…
‘Hey, baby,’ I croon softly to our little grey kitten. I named her Artemis, after the Goddess of the Wild, and who, at the moment, seems content to just sit on the horrendous beige kitchen counter watching as I wipe down and switch off the coffee machine.
She mewls adorably and butts my hand with her little blunt nose. Once Jesse and Joss had announced the kittens they were fostering were ready to be homed, Beck surprised me by bringing home the gorgeous little grey tortoise shell girl I was madly in love with. I’ve never had a pet of my own before, and although, she’s technically both of ours, we all know secretly Artie’s mine. She follows me around the house like my shadow.
Ursula’s not sure, although she’s great with other animals, I think she’s a little thrown by the new pecking order in the house. Artie maybe tiny, but she’s bossy. There were a rough couple of days when we first brought her home, but now Urse and Artie have come to some sort of agreement… that agreement being that they live in a permanent state of mutual mistrust and suspicion.
‘Come on, Artie.’ I scoop her up with one hand, cradling her into my chest as I head into the mud room and tuck her in her bed.
It’s going to be a long day today with the launch of the festival, so I have no idea what time Beck and I will be home later. I have Joss checking in with Ursula and Artie later on, but as Artie is still so tiny and new to the house, I don’t want to give her free reign while we’re not here.
Making sure she’s got food and water and her litter tray, I back out slowly and close the door. As I turn around, Ursula is sitting there staring at me, her tongue lolling out, and I swear she’s laughing at Artie being locked up while she gets free run of the house.
‘You’re so bad,’ I laugh, stroking her head as I pass, checking she’s also got plenty of water. ‘Joss will be by later,’ I tell her as I grab my hat and slap it on my head at a jaunty angle. Giving her a wink, I head out of the cottage and lock the door behind me.
It’s a glorious day, the sky is as blue as the ocean, the sunlight rippling off the waves and making them shimmer like hundreds of tiny crystals. Although it’s only mid-morning, the air is warm and filled with the scent of brine and summer.
I draw in a deep contented breath, and I can feel the smile etched into my face. This beautiful place is my home. I glance back at the shabby little sea cottage behind me, and my belly warms. Still, I can’t spend all day mooning around like an idiot. It’s the first day of the festival, and it’s going to be a crazy one.
I set off on the path that leads across the top of the bluffs and heads down into town. As I head down the road toward the B&B, I can see the streets are already full of people, and I wish Pia could’ve been here today. She’d love this.
My stomach tightens uncomfortably as it has done all week. I haven’t spoken to Pia since the day before our father showed up at Sully’s. I know there’s only one way he could’ve got my new phone number, as Pia is the only one from my old life who has it. But I also know she would never have given it to him willingly, and now, I can’t get h
old of her. I’ve tried calling constantly, but her phone seems to be permanently switched off. The anxiety doubles down, and my fists clench. I know something’s wrong, and I’m worried sick. I’ve left it as long as I’m prepared to, but if I don’t hear from her as soon as the festival is over, I’m heading straight back to London to find her.
‘Morning, Nat!’ Bea waves from outside the B&B where she’s handing out leaflets with her daughter Lila. ‘My goodness, Nat, you looked just like a thundercloud just now.’
‘Just getting in character, Bea.’ I shove aside the thought of my sister and unsheathe my pirate sword, giving a loud arghhhh for good measure.
She laughs affectionately.
‘How’s it going?’ I nod toward the B&B and see that the front doors are wide open with dozens of people milling in and out. In the beautiful front garden, several games are set up with a hoop toss, beanbags and skittles. There are also, rather cutely, I might add, bubble stations set up everywhere for the little ones. ‘Let me guess the bubbles were Molly’s idea?’ I grin.
‘Who else,’ Bea laughs. ‘The whole thing was her idea. We’ve got tables set up in the breakfast room and lounge with every box game you can think of, plus refreshments. Everyone seems to be having a great time. It’s still early, but it looks like we’ve got a really good turnout. It seems like the two holiday parks up the road have all migrated down here for the festival.’
‘That’s just what we want.’ I smile and nod.
I give a little wave and head through the rapidly expanding crowds milling around the streets. I pass by a huge beer tent, waving to Ryan as he grins and lifts a bottle in my direction. I huff out a little laugh, shaking my head in amusement. Heading further down the hill, I stop by a pretty pink and white striped gazebo and step inside.
‘Hello, Colin.’ I smile as I glance around.
‘Nat!’ He beams, pushing his glasses back up his nose as they slide down again. ‘Just the person, come and try something for me.’
