by Tijan
But what if Stephen needed backup?
I made my decision.
“It’s none of your business.” I hung up and called Zeke.
“Yo!” His normal greeting, always happy.
I put the keys back in and started the engine. “I need backup at my house.”
Not even a hesitation. “When?”
“Now.”
He burped. “On my way.”
I peeled out of the parking lot.
27
Aspen
After my call with Nate, I went walking on the hiking trails north of Fallen Crest.
I stepped through a clearing in the trees, and a feeling sparked in me.
It was unsettling.
It was alarming.
And I turned to look out over the place I’d never considered my home. For some reason, maybe it was a gut feeling, one of those hunches, but I knew.
Something was wrong.
Something was going to happen.
28
Blaise
I pulled in at the same time Zeke came up, three more cars behind him. He’d brought friends. Brian jumped out from his passenger side, with Jamie and Oliver coming out of one of the other two trucks. The last vehicle was my brother’s, and he wasn’t alone either. His entire crew was with him. I only had time to throw him a glare before heading to the house.
We could hear shouting, and then I was inside.
“No! Stephen!”
The sight was not what I was expecting.
Griffith DeVroe used his fists. Often.
I never wanted to think I’d been beaten as a kid, but now that I was older, I knew I had been. He’d hit me, punched me, used his belts on me in a way that was abusive. My mom never knew. I’d been ashamed, and he’d threatened to fuck around even more on her if I told.
All that was rolling through me as I entered the house.
But it wasn’t Griffith beating the shit out of Stephen in front of me; it was the other way around.
Stephen reared back, roaring, and threw another punch. “You.” Punch. “Get.” Punch. “The fuck.” Punch. “Out.” Hit, hit, hit. “Of this house!”
He stopped, his chest heaving.
He was in a suit, his tie thrown over his shoulder. There was blood on his hands and at the corner of his mouth, and he had a nasty looking bruise around one of his eyes. Griffith had gotten a few hits in.
My mom was in the dining area, her hands covering her mouth. Tears streaked over her face, which was deathly white. I cursed, heading for her.
Stephen was shaking Griffith now, and my non-bio dad wasn’t a small guy. He was two hundred and eighty, almost all muscle. Stephen was half his weight, but trimmed up.
Crap. Maybe I’d gotten my violent streak from him too?
“You are scum for what you have done to your wife and son,” Stephen bellowed. “My son! Mine! You will leave their lives and have nothing to do with them. You hear me?” He turned and tossed Griffith across the kitchen.
He started for him, but Cross shoved through the crowd. “Dad!”
Stephen jerked back, looking around. He blinked a few times.
I crossed the kitchen, intending to go to my mom.
She saw me, and her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, no.”
I hardened. She didn’t get to cry anymore, not over this asshole.
Stephen fell back a step. “Cross!” Then he saw me. “Blaise.”
Griffith’s functioning eye opened, hearing my name. I saw the old asshole come back to him. Hatred filled that one eye, and the fucker who used to put his fists on me thought he could do it again.
“You little piece of—”
“No!” Stephen roared, going for Griffith.
I got there first. My hands went down, fisting his shirt, and I lifted the fucker to his feet. A good punch of adrenaline eased the strain.
“Don’t!” I roared in his face. “Don’t you say another word. You’re going to do as he said.” My arms started hurting, so I shoved him against the wall. He tried to swing, but I ducked and kicked out his knee.
He crumpled after that.
He was done.
It was all over his face—he loathed me. He wanted to hit me.
I laughed, kneeling next to him. I’d ceased caring who was going to hear me the second I walked inside my home. “You beat me, you miserable piece of fuck.”
I heard a gasp behind me.
“You locked me in closets when she wasn’t around. You threatened me. You threatened her. You used your belts on me. Those days have been gone for a while, but I have evidence.”
His eyes widened.
“I kept a diary. I wrote it all down.”
I felt dead inside. I let him see that. I let him see what he’d done to me.
“You never broke me. Ever. And if you think you’re going to go to the authorities and make some bullshit claim against my real father, I’ll come forward against your ass. Look behind me, Dad. All these guys are witnesses. Not one of them will back you up. Not one.”
His eyes shifted, and they narrowed.
They closed.
When they opened, I knew I was looking at a beaten man, in more ways than one.
I leaned down. “I know about your lawsuit.”
His eyes shifted again, blinking, then focusing on me. I couldn’t name the emotion I saw there. Maybe it was panic? I was beyond being able to read him. He was just an abuser—that’s all I could see.
“I don’t know what those women have on you, or what they’ll get you charged with, but you will not do a goddamn thing to pull myself or my mother into it with you. You are alone. You got it? Alone. You’ll not utter her name or my name once during the entire process, or you will have worse things to deal with. There’s no statute of limitations for child abuse in New York. Remember that.”
I stepped back, and Zeke rushed in.
He’d been standing right behind me, and he went around to grab one side of Griffith. Brian took his other side, and the two of them dragged Griffith from the house.
I knew Zeke would call one of his dad’s private service cars. The driver would take Griffith to a hospital, and he would stand with him the entire time, pretending to be there for him, but he’d act as a spy.
And I knew this because Zeke was my best friend. He glanced back just before hauling Griffith out of the door. His eyes met mine, and his chin went up.
I nodded back.
I might not have my brother’s crew, but I had Zeke.
“Blaise,” my mom whispered.
I turned.
Tears streamed down her face, and she looked stricken.
“I never knew.”
I saw the emotions crossing her face, and I shook my head. “I never wanted you to know,” I said, my voice rough. “I never wanted anyone to know.”
“Baby.” More tears. She bit her lip, and that reminded me of Aspen.
I wanted my girl, but that’d have to wait. I lifted my arms, and my mom stepped into them. She broke down, clutching me.
I knew, in the logical part of my mind, that this wasn’t my fault. I’d been the victim. But I’d chosen to keep it hidden from her. So in a way, it was my fault too. I was the cause of my mom feeling this pain, and I hated myself for it.
Then again, I usually hated myself. This was par for the course.
Zeke had done exactly what I’d known he would, and he’d come back in after the car took Griffith away. He gave me the numbers for the driver and guard that’d be with Griffith until the hospital released him, and then he asked what I wanted.
I told him to take off, and he nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
He left with the rest of the guys.
After she broke down for the fourth time in my arms, Stephen had taken my mom into the bedroom. They’d been in there for two hours.
I didn’t know why I was waiting, but I was. I moved to the back porch.
Maybe I’d been waiting for this moment, though I wasn’t at all ha
ppy about it, now that it had arrived.
Cross stepped out on the back porch and sat in a chair beside me.
“He—”
I stopped him. “Get lost.”
“The fuck?”
I turned to him.
I didn’t give two fucks about anything.
“Get lost. Not your life. Not your problem.”
He sat there for another beat, and a disgusted laugh ripping from him. He shoved up, shaking his head. “Fucking prick.” He crossed the patio, and a second later, he was gone—he and his friends.
Good riddance.
I waited another hour.
It was dark by then.
It was cold by then.
I saw nothing, and I felt nothing.
I’d read that once you finally share your deepest secret, you’re supposed to feel free. That was bullshit. It had just imprisoned me further. I was pinned down, experiencing it all over again—every emotion, every memory. Now I would wait, holding my breath while everyone who’d heard my secret had the power to further hurt me or give me nothing in response.
There was no freedom.
There was no love, or healing, or warmth.
A victim.
I was a fucking victim.
I’d never said the words, but I knew that’s what I’d been.
I hated him because he’d done this to me, and I hated myself, because I wasn’t a fucking victim.
No. I just hated life.
I hated fucking life.
Then there was movement at the door. I heard it slide open.
I didn’t look, but I knew it was Stephen. He was the only one still operational. My mom was probably passed out by now.
“Did she take a valium?” I asked the darkness.
He was quiet as he crossed to take the chair his real son had sat in earlier. He eased down slowly. I heard a crinkle and looked over. He had an ice pack on his face. “Yeah.”
I nodded. “She’ll be out till tomorrow. You’ll have a full night’s sleep.”
“The fuck I will,” he said.
I turned to him.
His eyes burned. “I just learned one of my sons has been physically abused. You think I’m going to sleep tonight?” He shook his head. “You must have no clue how much I love you.”
My stomach clenched.
“How much I fell in love with you the first time I saw you,” he added.
My chest clenched.
“The second I saw you, I knew you were mine.”
I closed my eyes.
“I was livid with your mother, but that’s not for you to deal with. You’re done with that. You got it?”
I looked at him, not understanding.
“I told you I had it tonight. You didn’t have to come.”
I opened my mouth.
He shook his head. “Cross told me he called you. He told me what you said, and I don’t know if that’s why you came, but I’m here. This is my shift now. While I’m glad all this is out, and your mother and I know what happened to you, making sure Griffith doesn’t talk isn’t your job. Do you get that?”
I just stared.
“You beat me, you miserable piece of fuck.”
I’d ceased thinking once those words left my mouth.
Stephen leaned forward, the chair squeaking under him, and he rested his elbows on his knees. “There’s a lot to process, but are you going to be okay for the night?”
My entire body was locking down, but I managed a slight nod. “Yeah.” I flinched internally, hearing how monotone I sounded.
“I have a girl,” I told him. “I’m going to go see her.”
The air seemed to shift around us. He stood, slowly. “Okay. I’ll hold it down on this end. You go be with your girl tonight.” He walked to the door, limping slightly, and paused. “If I have to tell you every day that I love you for you to accept it, I will.”
I looked at him.
His eyes were clear, gazing at me steadily. “I mean it. I love my children. All of them.”
I didn’t know how to take that, so I didn’t respond.
He went back inside, and after another five minutes, so did I.
I didn’t call Aspen.
There were text messages from her on my phone, but I would read them tomorrow. I just wanted her, and fifteen minutes later, I pulled past the gate and drove to park in front of her neighbor’s house.
I called her.
“Blaise?” She sounded tired.
I started to tell her I was here, but the words froze in my throat.
I realized my hand was shaking. That was odd.
I tasted salt, and I frowned, touching my face.
I was crying.
I’d cried before, but I’d always known I was crying.
I hated crying. It was weak.
That’s what he would have said if he saw.
A gurgling sound bubbled up from my throat. What the hell was that?
“Blaise?!” Aspen sounded alarmed.
I hadn’t meant to make her sound like that.
I hadn’t meant for her to find out about any of this.
I’d just meant to go to her, crawl in bed with her, and hold her. That’s all I wanted.
But I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t get any words out.
I hung up, hating that I’d hung up on my girl, but I couldn’t talk. What point was there, then, to see her? I was useless to her. I was worthless.
But I couldn’t bring myself to leave, so I sat in my Wagon and stared ahead, not seeing anything.
It might’ve been a minute later, maybe five. But there was a tap on my window, and then I saw Aspen.
She was biting her lip, her eyes all worried, and I hated that I’d made her feel like that.
But I was paralyzed. None of this made sense to me.
She opened my door. She reached inside. She unclipped my belt. She took my keys out of the ignition. She grabbed my phone, and then she took my hand.
I was led inside, and we both crawled into bed.
She wrapped her arms around me, and someone was crying.
I wanted to believe it was her.
I knew that wasn’t true.
29
Aspen
I woke up to the feeling of lips pressed against my neck. He swept my hair to the side, the movement a caress. His arms around me, his legs entwined with mine, he was tasting me. His hand skimmed down my side to my hip, then slipped under my shirt. He rubbed my stomach, moving in slow circles, and I knew where he was going.
I strained against him, lust and need throbbing inside of me.
I felt him against me, rolling his hips, grinding slow.
I gasped, my head pressed to my pillow as his fingers found my breast. He held me in the palm of his hand, and his thumb caressed my nipple.
I’d never thought about dating. It wasn’t that I didn’t like boys. I did. I crushed hard on them, but I worried they wouldn’t want me. It had settled firmly in me and taken root, holding me down. Then Blaise happened, and I was still trying to catch up.
I was still trying to catch up, but this morning, even if I’d been considering remaining a virgin, that was gone. He’d been destroyed last night. I didn’t know what had happened, but I would. Until then, I’d just hold him.
And this morning, I was going to love him.
I wouldn’t say the words, but that’s how I felt. I knew I’d been falling.
It was done. I was over the edge.
I was his, for as long as he needed me. I was his.
I was resolved. And feeling that surety, I took his hand and guided it between my legs.
It was as if that was the last permission he needed.
His kisses grew more insistent. He thrust hard against me, pushing aside my underwear and sinking in. He curved his fingers into me, thrusting in rhythm from behind.
The pleasure was building.
Climbing.
I’d never, ever, thought this would happen to me.
I’d never
thought someone would care for me like this, would need me, would come to me when they were wrecked.
Love and the need to protect him, care for him, made everything so much stronger. Clearer. I reached behind me. I needed more of him.
I didn’t care about anything. Only him. Only this moment. Only us.
I couldn’t reach him, so I pushed at my underwear, pulling it down as the throbbing overwhelmed me. It pulsated through me.
He paused, his mouth at my ear. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes. Please.”
He groaned and leaned up, his mouth finding mine.
He turned us, moving more slowly. Gentle. He held himself above me, and the look in his eyes broke my heart, but in all the right spots. I was shattered, moved beyond words, because whether he knew it or not, I saw love shining back to me.
I reached up, cupping the side of his face, and pulled him down to me. His lips melded to mine, and it was like the last turn of a key in a lock. He reached over the side of the bed, pulling a condom from his wallet. A second later, I felt myself open, almost magically, even as he slid inside of me. There was pressure there, the barrier, and he paused, a soft curse slipping from him as he kissed my neck. Then he thrust through, breaking it, and sank deep into me.
He held still, holding me fiercely.
He turned, nuzzling my throat before lifting to my mouth. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think.”
I shook my head. “The pain’s almost gone.” And it was.
He waited, letting me adjust to him, and when I began to move my hips, he moved slowly with me. He let me set the pace. As pleasure overtook the pain, I felt amazed. I hadn’t known this would be what it felt like.
It was so good, and it was with Blaise.
I wound my arms around him, my fingers sinking into his skin, as if I could climb out of my own to be even closer to him.
He thrust harder, rubbing against me, and then it was only the sensations. I was almost fevered, needing more and more.
“Fuck, Aspen.” He moaned, a hand to my hip as he lifted himself, only to sink farther inside of me. He hit a deeper angle and pushed me over the edge, my body trembling and jerking with my orgasm. Waves and waves hit me. I rode them out, loving them, as Blaise waited until I was done.
