She smiled. “That’s a good time to find it. And I bet there are lots of situations you can handle that would scare me out of my boots.”
“That’s very generous of you.”
“Jesse, why did you freak out earlier? I know I was hurt and you were worried, but was there more to it? It felt like something else was going on.”
I stared at my lap. I hadn’t talked about James. Not to anyone. As soon as I learned he was dead, I’d left the set and went home and packed my bag on autopilot. The only thought in my head was to get here, to my grandpa, because he’d gotten me through the last hardest time in my life. Here in this cave, the walls not pressing in, but rather holding us close, guarding our secrets, I wanted to tell her.
“My best friend died.”
She put a hand to her chest. “Oh, God, Jesse. I’m so sorry. How awful.”
I nodded, holding my breath. If I told her the next part, her opinion of me might change. Not that she thought that highly of me, but this could make it worse. Honestly, I deserved any negative feelings she wanted to throw my way, so I told her. “I convinced him to do a stupid thing in a car. It crashed. Now he’s dead.”
As the words came out of my mouth, I hated myself even more. I still wasn’t being fully honest. I wasn’t telling her it was on a movie set, and James saw me do a similar stunt just an hour before. He’d only starred in romantic comedies and dramas before that film. He was excited for his first action movie. He thought it would be cool to say he did some of his own stunts.
“What was his name?” Cat interrupted my trip down misery lane.
“James.”
She squeezed my hand. “Jesse and James. That’s kind of cute.”
The press had a field day with our names. A lot of dumb headlines had come from it. Jesse and James, Hollywood’s troublemaking, heartbreaking duo. They’ll steal your heart and run away with it. It was ridiculous because all we ever did was hang out at our house, same as we had done since we were ten years old.
“You can’t blame yourself for his choice, even if you helped him make that choice.”
“He asked me if I thought he could do it, and I said yes. And he died for it. My judgment is not to be trusted, a fact proven by today’s events. I’d prefer it if nobody ever trusted me again.”
She was quiet for a minute, fiddling with the edges of my T-shirt that I’d tied around her knee. I hoped this terrible conversation was distracting her from the pain, at least.
“My twin sisters were born prematurely, and spent their first two months in the hospital. People love to tell the story of the night they were born. Apparently I was a terrible baby who cried all the time, and even though I was two, I was still an awful sleeper. I was wailing and crying and not going to sleep, so my parents took me for a drive. It was dark, and Dad hit a huge pothole, and Mom’s water broke. Thus, the twins were born early because I couldn’t fall asleep.”
“But you were a baby.”
“Tell that to six-year-old me, and eight-year-old me, and ten-year-old me, and every age in between, who had to hear that story told over and over at picnics and family reunions. My mom’s always been a nervous person. She deserves to be, honestly, as she had a really rough childhood, but having two babies in the hospital for months kind of threw her over the edge. I blamed myself for a long time. Until I finally told my dad one day that I was sorry.”
I rubbed my thumb along the side of her hand, hoping she’d keep talking.
“My dad is a very thoughtful, deep kind of a man. He always has a profound quote or a relevant story to share that fits any situation. And this time was no different.”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘Blame is stupid.’” A laugh burst out of me, and she grinned. “Sometimes the best words are plain and simple. Blame is stupid, Jesse. I’m deeply sorry your friend died, but you’re not to blame.”
I appreciated her dad’s no-nonsense words. But I couldn’t just shut off my feelings. The guilt wouldn’t just go away because of her dad’s saying. But she’d given me a new way to think about it. “I’ll try.”
“Thank you for being here with me, Jesse. For holding my hand and not leaving.”
Heat spread through me, curling in my gut. I looked at her eyes, which were wide and warm, and my gaze traveled lower, to her mouth, lush and slightly parted.
The radio crackled in her lap. “Hey, ho, anybody there?” Otto’s voice called out.
Cat blinked, coming back to the moment, and picked up the radio. “Otto, I’m here.”
“How’s it going down there?”
“Not great. I hurt my knee.”
“Well, darn, Cat. What do you need?”
She looked at me, her eyes questioning. I took the radio and said what I knew she wouldn’t. “Hey, Grandpa, we need an ambulance.”
Chapter 15
Cat
I handed Jesse’s empty water bottle back. “I’m still thirsty. Can you get in my backpack again?” I leaned forward, my irritation eclipsing my pain.
“Let’s take it off.”
He slid the backpack off one arm, his gentle hands brushing my elbow as he did. I willed my body not to shiver. I was furious at him, and I didn’t want him to soften me at the moment. His hand brushed across my neck, and goosebumps broke out all over my skin. I sighed.
“You’re still mad?”
“There’s no need for an ambulance. It’s a waste of resources. And it’s embarrassing.”
“How is it embarrassing?”
“I know the EMTs. It’ll probably be Mary and Mike and Phil. They’ll tease me. They’ll have to lift me or carry me or something.” A new thought occurred to me. “Jesse, they’re going to have to come in that little tunnel. I can’t ask Mary to do that. This is horrifying. I just wanted Otto to come, not an ambulance. Then my dad can look at it, and decide if I need the hospital.”
My backpack off, Jesse dug around in it and handed me the water. “You need the hospital, Cat. And if it’s any consolation, they might have to carry me out, too. I don’t know if I can manage that little tunnel again.”
I laughed. “Maybe we’ll just stay here. We’ll never come out. We can set up house, and Otto can bring us food and blankets.”
Jesse raked his fingers through his hair. He was nervous again. “That sounds quaint, but I can’t even play along. The sooner we’re out of here, the better.”
“Jesse, I really don’t want them to have to come in here. The main passage is tight enough, and will be hard for them as it is. Will you help me get out? Only to the main passage? We can wait for them there. I think a stretcher will fit through that part. I can suffer that indignity. I just don’t want anyone else but you to see me struggle through the small tunnel.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Cat, no.”
“Please?”
“Something will go wrong. I’ll end up making your knee even worse.”
“I trust you.”
“I don’t want you to,” he retorted angrily.
“I know, but you don’t get to decide who I trust. And I trust you,” I restate firmly, to match his anger.
“I don’t trust me to pull you through that tunnel. I’ll mess your knee up even more. It’s what I do.”
I put my hand on his forearm. “Can you trust me? If it hurts too badly, we’ll stop. I won’t let you hurt me. Can we try?”
“What if we get stuck in that small tunnel and cause you more pain?”
“That will be an even bigger humiliation,” I replied, trying to lighten the mood. He didn’t crack even the slightest smile. “Otto’s on his way. Can we try when he gets here? We both trust him.”
Jesse was quiet for a long moment. “Maybe. We’ll see what he says.”
“Okay. Good. Thank you.” I opened the water and took a long drink, deciding to take that as a win.
“I wish Grandpa had never discovered these caves,” he said.
I laughed loudly. “This isn’t the cave’s fault. No
r your grandpa’s, nor yours. No blame, remember?”
“I mean it,” he added. “I wish he’d never discovered them.”
“Well, he didn’t discover them. Your grandma did.”
He looked surprised. “She did?”
“Yeah. You don’t know the story?”
He shook his head.
“Emily was exploring the woods one day, shortly after they bought their house. She crossed the property line without knowing it, and came across a run-down cabin where a man sat on the porch, rocking in his rocking chair, smoking a pipe. He told her she was on his land. She walked right up on his porch asked if she could have his permission to hike there.”
“She sounds bold. A lot like you.”
“Me?”
“You’re pretty bold, Cat.”
I scoffed. I’d spent my life burrowing around in a cave; how could that mean I was bold? “Anyway, he said she could hike. He was basically a recluse. Otto and Emily had lived in Alden their whole lives and had never seen him. I forget his name, but apparently he lived off the grid. So Emily hiked all over his land, and on her way back home, she walked through the woods around what’s now the main entrance to the cavern. She ran all the way home and told Otto. She had this big idea to start a cave business. They asked the recluse if they could buy the land the cavern was under. He said no. But when he died a few years later, he had left all of his land and the entire cave system beneath it to them in his will.”
“A recluse had a will?”
“I’m not making up the story, I’m just retelling it. Otto wanted to name the cavern Emily’s Cavern. She refused. He let her name it, and she chose Alden Caverns. Apparently he let her have her way all the time. He says she enchanted him.”
I looked at Jesse and smiled. He met my eyes, holding them, his gaze simmering. We were sitting close, and his shoulder brushed mine. “How’s your pain?” he whispered, his voice husky.
I swallowed. “Um, it’s okay. I don’t think about it when we’re talking.”
He placed his hand on my neck, his thumb brushing my jaw. My heart thrummed in my chest, and my stomach flipped. “I want to kiss you, Cat.”
Why this gorgeous, intense man wanted to kiss me, I didn’t know. But my body ached with wanting him to do it. I licked my lips. I turned toward him as much as the pain in my knee would allow. He pulled my helmet off and set it to the side, then put his other hand on the other side of my neck. My breath coming quick, I put a hand on his waist and curled two fingers into a belt loop. He hovered over my mouth a moment, before brushing his lips across mine, the softest whisper of skin on skin. My breath hitched in my throat, the sensation overwhelming. I wanted him to press his lips down, to cover my mouth with his, but he pulled back and looked in my eyes, making sure I didn’t want him to stop. His fingers curled into the hair at the base of my skull. I tugged on his belt loop to indicate that I wanted more.
He was ready to oblige when the radio crackled. Jesse stalled his movements, and I wanted to throw that stupid radio against the wall. Otto’s voice rang out clearly, and full of concern. “Cat? Jesse? I’m in the passage.”
Jesse pressed his forehead to mine, matching each of my heavy breaths with one of his own.
“Dang it, Otto,” I muttered.
Jesse chuckled, and removed his hands from my neck. He sat back and brushed my bottom lip with his thumb. “Later.”
My insides twisted deliciously. I wanted it to be later right now. My body hummed with unspent desire. Could I count what just happened as my first kiss?
Jesse picked up the radio. “We’re here.” He explained to Otto that I wanted to be removed from this room and pulled out of the small tunnel before the paramedics arrived.
“I don’t know, Cat. How bad is your knee?” Otto said through the radio.
“It’s bad,” Jesse said.
I grabbed the radio from his hand. “It doesn’t matter to my knee if it’s Jesse who pulls me out or if it’s poor Mary Simmons.”
Otto chuckled, and I absorbed his calm energy. Everything would be okay. “Maybe that’s true, or maybe Mary Simmons would be able to brace the knee before you were extracted.”
“That’s a good point,” Jesse said.
“No,” I said. “Jesse pulls me out.”
Otto was quiet a moment. “Jesse, do you think you can pull her out?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can even get myself out.”
“You can,” I told him, placing a hand over his. Now that we’d shared that almost-kiss, I felt like I was allowed to touch him, like I could enter his personal space whenever I wanted. It was a euphoric feeling. “Please?”
He sighed. “Cat. You’re killing me.” But then his eyes flashed and he understood what I was doing. I was rescuing him. My requiring him to pull me out meant he would have to exit, too, and his mind would be on me, not on his fear.
I grinned and returned my forehead to his. He traced my lip with his thumb again, then pulled back and ran a hand down his face. Speaking into the radio, he said, “Maybe I can.”
Otto laughed. He knew just how good I was at getting what I wanted.
Jesse turned to me. “What if we put my sweatshirt under your legs? You can hold the sleeves to keep it from rolling up. I’ll go feet-first out the tunnel, holding you under your arms and pulling.”
I nodded, pleased with this plan. “And you can kick my backpack out with your feet as we go.”
“Bold, Cat. This is bold.” Then into the radio, he said, “Grandpa, is this going to work? I’m afraid we’ll get stuck in the tunnel.”
The radio crackled. “Nah, this is a fine plan. It will work,” Otto said.
“We’ll see you on the other side,” Jesse told Otto, and packed up my backpack. He tossed it down the tunnel, and put my helmet back on my head and his helmet on his. “Ready?”
“Yes. Jesse,” I said, grabbing his eyes. “Thank you for trying this. For me.”
“For us,” he said, holding my eyes for a split second, then he took off his hoodie and now he was shirtless again. In spite of our predicament, my stomach tumbled again. I wanted to get my hands on his chest. And I would. Later. I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t grin maniacally.
Jesse laid his sweatshirt out flat beside me. “This is going to hurt.”
I nodded. It would, but I could handle it. The sharp pain had dulled, and while it could still take my breath away if I moved my leg, I would survive.
I held my breath as I pushed myself up with my hands, and he slid his shirt under me, and I dropped down again.
Thankfully, his hoodie was large. I sat just below the collar, and could rest my legs down the back. I grabbed the sleeves and held them tight.
“Okay, I’m going to pull,” Jesse said. “Before we commit to going through the tunnel, we’ll see how it feels to get you across the room.” We locked eyes again. “Promise me you’ll tell me if it’s too much and you need me to stop.”
Unblinking, I replied, “I promise.”
I lay back and he positioned himself behind me, putting his hands under my arms. He tugged gently, and I moved an inch. “Is that okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He pulled again, his feet shuffling against the rock. I was a small person, but pulling me backward in such a small space was going to be terribly difficult.
“Faster,” I said, and then I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t cry out.
He slid me smoothly across the small room, and stopped right at the opening to the tunnel. “You good?” he asked, breathing fast and hard.
“I am. You?”
“I’m fine.”
“Let’s go,” I said firmly. “But go as quickly as you can, okay? Let’s get it over with.”
He backed himself into the tunnel, and I realized he barely fit on his hands and knees. How was he going to do this?
He dropped down onto his stomach and reached forward, grasping under my arms again, but this time clasping his hands together
below my collarbone. He inched himself backward while pulling me with him.
His head was right beside mine, his mouth at my ear. “Here we go,” he whispered. I swore I felt a gentle pressure right above my ear, but I couldn’t be sure. Had he kissed me there?
With a noise akin to a growl, he thrust himself backward and tugged me forward. I slid smoothly along the rock. A small noise escaped my lips at the shock of sharp pain, but thankfully he remembered that I promised I’d tell him if I wanted to stop, and so he didn’t stop. Grunting, he worked his body hard to pull me through the narrow tunnel. All I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and try to blot out the pain. I focused on his hands holding me firmly, on his steady breath in my ear.
Finally, I heard a thud as my backpack fell from the tunnel and landed in the main passage. “Just hold onto Cat, Jesse,” Otto said. “I’ll take it from here. I’ve got you.”
Jesse’s body relaxed as Otto pulled on his feet, bringing us both forward. When I lay at the end of the tunnel, and Jesse stood in the passageway, I turned my head to thank him but gasped instead. “Jesse!” His torso was scraped up terribly, bleeding and red. Raw.
He looked down at himself and shrugged. “Just a little bit of ground beef.”
I couldn’t laugh. I was overcome with pain in my knee, stressed to the max from the whole situation, and now this. “I’m so sorry.”
He leaned down, cupping my head in his hands. Softly he said, “Blame is stupid.”
I laughed now, blinking up at him. “Thank you for getting me out of there.”
“Jesse, stay with her,” Otto said. “No doubt the paramedics have arrived, and I need to lead them here.” He leaned down and stuck his head in the tunnel to kiss my forehead, then turned and pulled Jesse into a tight embrace before going to retrieve the paramedics.
Chapter 16
Jesse
I shifted in the vinyl chair, trying to get comfortable. Grandpa’s hand landed on my arm. “Relax. She’ll be fine. I want you to let them take a look at your scrapes before we leave.”
Broken Hollywood (Sparrow Sisters Book 1) Page 11
