by Ken Pence
The posturing for the negotiations started immediately in the morning. Captain UmBllatt came in with two crewmembers and plopped against his props that he used instead of chairs. He started looking around and bellowed, "Are there no writing implements?"
Well...who would have thought that writing implements would have caused such consternation but they had. The Earth crew didn't know what the Ullumff used to write on or what they were used to writing with so he assumed that they would be bringing their own.
Andrew, Susan and Oshira, the diplomat from the first negotiations, had just arrived after a time-expanded two-day trip (for them). Andrew was perturbed, as he had expected to be introduced before any trouble began. Oshira leaned over to Andrew, seeing his discomfiture and said sotto voce, "It's an old ploy even on Earth. Find the one inconsequential thing you don't see and ask for it...it throws off the competition. "Take mine," Oshira said in Ullumff and handed the Captain a decent pen that you had to click downward to make the point appear. A station tech brought several pads of unlined paper and a container of pens and placed them next to the Captain and his aides. UmBllatt acted like the tech smelled and did not acknowledge the service as he snorted and stamped. Oshira noted the interplay and knew he had some tough, seasoned negotiators before. He relished the Ullumff language lesson and he had been one of the first to use the many learning cylinders when they had been first brought to Earth. He respected Andrew more now and knew he was more than just a bright kid... but... Andrew didn't have the pain of extensive experience -- that was why the World Government had sent him along to be an advisor. He appreciated going into this negotiation with the knowledge gleaned from the manuals that had been digitized at the first meeting with aliens on Earth. Andrew apparently didn't know that he had spent three months of accelerated practice and pronunciation practice with the latest language technology. Most helpful were repeated visits to Rett (with chilled fruit juice in hand) who was fairly fluent in Ullumff and several other languages though stubborn and always acted as if he was dying to go do some more research. He'd gone into negotiations cold before and he felt a little better prepared this time. He also appreciated that Colonel Kyger had not overreacted to the little excursion of the Captain last night but marveled at the physical prowess of these beings.
Andrew started to introduce everyone and then thought better of it. He then welcomed the others to this trade session, as outlined in the manuals, and started talking about the list of items that had been transmitted by their navigator as they were inbound to Earth.
UmBllatt listened and marveled at the simplicity of this... pen. These beings had many little ideas and he knew this trip was going to make him wealthy beyond his dreams. He'd split the trinkets with his crew but he'd take the technological ideas and sell those. He clicked the pen and grunted with pleasure as the young male outlined what Earth was currently looking to receive. Yes. He was going to be fabulously rich but how could these beings have been contacted by an advanced race and he hadn't known about it. He had better contact the ES when he returned; so, exploiters would not ruin this world. He grunted with amusement and asked the being to repeat his list again. Yes he could produce language recording and manuals...star charts...they can have my old ones for a price...very old ones.
Oshira knew that this being was very experienced and appreciated more than these Ullumff knew. He had many decades of dealing with truculent statesmen and generals and… you name it. They will not get the better of us...but...they must go away satisfied.
Andrew had just paused after reading the list of wanted information and trade goods. "I think I'll bring in one of those items now?" he said to Oshira.
"Yes, but why did you want those? You sure...?"
"Yes. I'll get one now. It has been altered to Trade symbols. Make a big deal of it...it's solar powered."
Oshira nodded and Andrew left only to return in seconds with a fancy gray plastic box. He then bowed and handed it to Oshira with two hands. Oshira took it gravely and placed the box on the table in front of him.
UmBllatt was puzzled at this action and was intrigued in spite of himself. What were these beings up to? The old one was about to speak... already I read some of their body language...a naive... helpless race.
"It is customary on our planet to give a gift to a trading partner to show good faith. The importance of the gift shows the value placed on the venture." Oshira gently picked up the box and laid it in front of UmBllatt. He had grave concerns about the propriety of this particular gift. "It is customary on our planet for the visiting trader to give something back of equal value...but you are not from our planet..."
Oshira's speech in Ullumff grunts and snorts was quite impressive to Ling who had been amazed at how fast Oshira had picked up Trade. What were these two up to?
Captain UmBllatt knew a classic I want something of equal value in return. Now he was obligated to give something back equal to their gift. A bribe for the trader who is working for someone else or a way to ease the negotiations...I am curious about what is in this lovely hide colored box. He turned the box around and over but did not see the way to open it and felt foolish. He snorted in disgust.
The navigator had seen the odd catch on one side of the box with lightly raised lettering in Trade! Trade!!! Though a tremendous breech of protocol -- he leaned out of his prop and popped open the box as instructed by the text on top.
UmBllatt was aside himself with fury and the navigator turned his oculars to the ground and hastily retreated.
Ling and the others at the table smelled the arousing cinnamon smell coming from the captain, inhaled deeply and smiled.
“Good grief. He smells divine,” Ling whispered to Brad.
The Ullumff captain calmed himself quickly when he noticed that all the beings around the table had caught his anger scent and bared their teeth in response. Calm...calmly. UmBllatt turned his attention back to the box. I will now see if I have to give something, worthwhile or worthless, to these primitives. Inside was another gray plastic...device of some kind with twenty-one small raised squares and a digit width strip of a different colored material above the squares. Each square had markings in Trade except for the strip across the top that appeared blank. On, he read: Off, Add, Subtract, Multiply, Divide, Equal and he couldn't believe it...Square Root. It had all twelve numerals clearly labeled in Trade! Trade!!! This proves that this race has had contact with an advanced race. Surely, this must be a hoax. He touched the square marked On. The strip on top displayed a placeholder symbol. He jerked the box closer and carefully examined the device for hidden wires connecting it to something else. He pressed the symbol for twelve and sure enough -- the strip across the top displayed the numerical twelve. It was amazing. He pressed Multiply and then he pressed five and then hesitatingly pressed Equal. It was amazing. It displayed sixty. How could this be?
The navigator smelled an intense scent of curiosity coming from the captain. What could have triggered that, he thought as he leaned forward and swiveled his oculars to see better. He couldn't believe it. The device was a calculator. He was amazed.
UmBllatt did not notice a way to open the device so it could be repaired with whatever it used to make it work. He turned the device around and studied it for seams or hinges or something to open it up.
The acrid, harsh smell hit the humans sitting around the table pretty hard. It was very sharp and unpleasant. They must have missed the mark with this gift idea. The captain appeared to toy with the device politely and then turned it over like he was looking to see if it would do anything else.
Oshira was angry at Andrew now. What a foolish idea...to give these beings a simple calculator...even though it had been altered to a base twelve numerical system with lettering in Trade. That smell must mean that they were angry or upset.
"If it is not correct I will take it back," Oshira said and leaned forward as if he intended to take it back.
UmBllatt jerked the calculator close to him and said, "It is...acceptable."
<
br /> Andrew noted the captain's reaction in spite of the smell and smiled. He knew he had been right and smiled wider.
UmBllatt noticed that the young male was baring his teeth. I had better show my appreciation for this gift but I must ask a question first, "What powers this device? How long will it last?"
Andrew answered, "It is solar powered and will last many planetary revolutions unless it is hit sharply or stepped on."
Impossible, thought UmBllatt. This device is too small. "There is no sunlight here. How does it function?"
"It is powered by visible light and if there is enough light to see the display, then there is enough light to make it work."
UmBllatt felt chastised that these beings had given him such a precious gift. The technology this would release would be monumental. I must give them something precious in return. He switched to Trade as he slowly took the fiber-strand necklace with a walnut sized perforated, metal ball from around his neck. "Take this with my thanks." He handed the necklace to Oshira who took it with ill grace.
"What is it?"
"It is the dung of my father's, father's, father from my home planet."
Oshira nodded and everyone of the human's looked grave except Andrew who smiled hugely.
UmBllatt's crew was amazed at the captain's generosity and knew that the captain would not have given such a precious gift if he hadn't been stunned by the gift from these beings.
The room reeked with the acrid odor of surprise and the humans smelled the scent and looked more, and more solemn except Andrew who grinned from ear to ear.
UmBllatt noticed that the young one was still baring his teeth and questioned that his necklace was not enough of a gift in return -- he would have to stop now and go back and give more.
"We must retire to our ship for some time," he said in Trade to be polite. "We will return shortly."
Oshira was aghast as the alien assemblage leaned back, pivoted surprising gracefully and walked out.
Andrew guessed what the aliens were doing but it was plain that everyone else had a different interpretation of the alien's behavior. Now, all he had to do was convince them they didn't need to panic. Brad had started arguing with Oshira about what they should do next when Susan spoke up.
"Hey, gang. Shouldn't we cut the field so those guys CAN go back to their ship. There’s the little matter of a hell of a stressed space field between them and their ship if I recall. It has been hours for us but only minutes to the folks on their ship. Might raise a few eyebrows...I mean questions...when they get back to the rest of their crew...when they start comparing notes. What'ya think?"
"You've ruined these negotiations with that dinky calculator," Oshira raged. "UmBllatt must know that those are a dime a dozen, else, why would he have given us a dung necklace...a gift in kind. We're lucky to get that much. I knew I shouldn't have gone along with you on your hunch Williams, no matter what that Rett says."
"Look. We're not going to get anywhere with blind speculation," Andrew said. "I think you are reading them wrong and they are blown away by the electronics. I see how they look at broadcasts and vids. They are hooked and have never seen anything like it. We could run anything and they'd sit and watch it if it had a decent picture. Those animal movies are fascinating to me and I'm from this planet. I can imagine looking at high definition documentaries in English when I visit another planet...hell...you couldn't drive me away. They don't have anything like this."
Oshira bit his lip and decided he'd have to save this venture himself. He couldn't believe the World Government, weak as it was, would let this young man try to do what professionals were needed to do. This was a total disaster and he didn't want it to be remembered as his disaster. It took a man of stature and experience to handle a man, a being, like this UmBllatt. Let Williams and all the others have their way. He'd prepared for this contingency, if it ever arose, and he'd get back control of the situation before this group damaged negotiations any further. Oshira glanced around the room once more and headed to his quarters as rapidly as possible.
Oshira had thought there might be a problem like this so he had made arrangements with General Alexander. He signaled his computer that he wanted privacy and waited for the stressed space field to be cut so he could send a call. The computer alerted him when the field was down and he immediately placed his call. The comm was answered at once and Alexander himself came on the line.
"Just as we thought General...amateurs and they've already misdirected the negotiations."
"So they screwed up, Oshira. Where were you? I thought you were going to lead the negotiations -- see what they wanted -- see what we can get."
Oshira was put off by the holier than thou attitude but bit back a retort and stated simply, "I think we ought to use an alternate negotiation team."
Alexander tilted his head and then grinned as the message delay played out Oshira's message. You are as much of a problem as the others, Alexander thought. Clearly; he must act and act now. Alexander didn't nod -- didn't say anything -- he just grinned that grim little grin and switched off.
THE SMELL WILL TELL
"You are the one reading it wrong," Brad exclaimed to an exasperated Andrew.
"Brad's right. Did you smell that smell when he had the calculator? Phew. He must have been upset." Desiree said.
"Look. He said that locket do-ee had dung from his father's, father's home planet… " Andrew asserted.
"Father's," Ling interjected.
"Huh," several others in the group turned to her. She had been quiet in the discussion and rarely talked unless it was something of import. "Father's, father's, father's home planet..."
"What's your point? It's dung." Brad said.
"The average lifespan of these creatures is about 150 years according to our manuals and some live well over 200 of our years. That means his family has been carrying around that shit...pardon my pun...for over 500 years. I'd say it has a bit more significance to them than to us. I bet you don't even know the name of your father's, father's, father, "Ling said and saw that her point had struck home.
"...Brad doesn't know the name of HIS father... " Andrew whispered sotto voce to Susan who sniggered.
"What about the smell. It means..."
"...It means squat, Brad," Andrew said. "If I fart during a meeting, don't make it out to be of cosmic import. We don't know what their smells mean. If we start judging them by the way we like or dislike their smells -- we'll be in serious trouble."
"We are in trouble. We have to make sense of this and get this resolved quickly. Okay. I'll buy it that we aren't sure how they took it but the necklace, locket thing probably was a more positive thing than I originally thought. I guess," Brad looked at Ling and then at Andrew," …and the smell deal might have been something else...but I am concerned that they left so quickly. Who have we got monitoring their ship? They did get there safely I assume."
Susan spoke up. "I have night shift with two techs scanning the area around the ship and adjacent space. They seemed to never notice the difference as they crossed to their ship. We were able to cut the stressed space field well before they got close.
OSHIRA AND ALEXANDER
General Alexander was pleased that it had turned out as it had. Oshira was a fool but a fool who could be manipulated. They had reprimanded me because of the initial negotiation incident but there were few that had the grasp of the military aspects of the situation like I do, he thought. It had been difficult to get the information out of the Enclosure but; piece, by piece, he had obtained enough that he could entertain the notion of building an enclosure and ships himself. Philips coming along and agreeing to bankroll all equipment in exchange for the technical specs of new equipment had been a blessing that was not to be denied. Now he had two heavily armed ships, damned easy to build. Too bad they had not gotten that molecular disruptor information. Those “college boys” thought they had powerful lasers -- wait 'til they see what we have.
His two ships and a company of soldi
ers sped toward the moon and were mere minutes away after loading. They had portable field generators but did not have the pressor field apparatus -- as they had not been able to get plans for those. This would have to do.
***
Oshira decided he must take the lead since it would probably be three days before Alexander's people could get here. He waited patiently for a few hours for the station to get quiet. He got up from his console and walked over to his suit where he took a tube of survival food out and slipped it into his pocket. He opened his door and carefully peeked down the hall. He walked to the area that was near surveillance coverage of the alien ship. He put the tube of survival food in his hand and leaned around the corner at the end of the corridor. A four-centimeter diameter bubble covered the front of the camera unit and he squirted food from the tube and smeared it over the surface. He then quickly moved down the hall and did the same at the entry airlock camera. Oshira cycled the door and moved toward the alien ship.
The comm panel blared. Brad, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and said, "Go ahead."
"Colonel, someone just blanked the cameras and entered the alien ship," said the tech. "Sorry to wake you."
"That's okay. Send a security squad, in suits, to outside the alien ship. Have everyone get in suits now – all personnel. Keep the security team on stand by but take no action unless necessary. I'll be right over," he said and keyed Ling's extension. "Ling. Suit up and meet me at the command center." He switched off. "Shit," he said to himself, "Oshira."
Oshira tapped on the door to the alien ship. The door cycled inward and slid aside. An Ullumff stood in the opening with a hand weapon pointed straight ahead.
