by Dyan Chick
I sat up quickly and instantly regretted the decision as stars danced in front of my vision and my head spun. I lay back down and looked at Nani who was sitting vigil on my bed. "What happened?" I asked.
"There was an attack, dear child," she said. "It's a miracle you survived."
I reached for my side to feel the place where the claws dug into my flesh. The pain was gone, which made no sense. Claws like that should have killed me. I wondered if infection had set in and was giving me delusions. Or perhaps they had just given me so much syrup of the poppy that I couldn't feel a thing anymore.
Slowly I lifted up the white night shirt I'd been dressed in and looked down at my waist. Raised pink scars stretched from my bellybutton all the way around my waist to my back. The scars were a clear indication that those claws had not been in my imagination. "How long have I been out?"
The bigger question was how I managed to survive, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to that one. Something in the back of my mind was clawing at my memories as if trying to reveal something I should already know. Another part of me seemed to be actively repressing whatever it was that was trying to surface, which wasn't a good sign. Perhaps I blacked out all of the horrors they must've put my body through to heal that much damage. It must have been weeks of pain for the scars to have covered the open wounds.
"You can't stay here, child," Nani said.
That was the last thing I expected to hear from her. "What are you talking about?"
Nani's brow furrowed and her watery gray eyes were laced with concern. I wondered if she had even left my bed since the accident occurred.
"It's only been one night since the attack," Nani said.
"That's not possible," I said tracing my fingers over the scars. "Those claws should've killed me, not healed in hours."
I'd seen enough injuries in my lifetime to know what an open wound this size meant. Infection should have set in, that is, if I hadn't died from the blood loss first. There was no reason for me to still be alive. And there was no explaining how this had healed up on its own so quickly.
"I cleaned you up and I've kept your family away so far, but it's only a matter of time before they come in with the doctor to check your progress." Nani leaned forward and brushed my hair away from my face. "If they find you like this there's going to be questions and they won't like the answers."
"What kind of medicine did you find?" I asked the only thing that made sense in my head. Whatever Nani had done, it must have cost a fortune.
"I'm afraid it's not that simple. Medicine didn't heal you, you healed yourself."
"That's impossible," I said, tracing my fingers over the pink ribbons on my waist.
A quiet knock sounded on my door. Nani's eyes widened and the color drained from her face. She tugged my shirt down over the injury. "Pretend you're asleep," she whispered before pulling the covers up over me.
I had no reason to doubt Nani, so I did as she said, and closed my eyes and slowed my breathing so that I appeared to be sleeping.
"How is she?" my father asked.
"I stopped the bleeding but she'll need to rest more," Nani said. "I'll keep watch over her and let you know as soon as she wakes."
"Thank you, Nani. The physician will be here to check on her in a few hours. When he gets here, you can go get some rest." My father's boot steps leading away from the room let me know that he was no longer standing by the door. I heard the sound of the latch click as Nani must have closed the door behind him.
"Cassia," Nani said, settling back down on my bed. "Listen very carefully, child."
I opened my eyes and looked up at her. I hadn't seen an expression this grim or this serious on Nani's face since she had to tell me that a childhood friend had died of fever when I was seven. I couldn't imagine what she was about to say now.
"You're different, Cassia. There's a reason that you've never felt like you fit in here. Because you don't, you never belonged here. The stories I told you weren't stories, they were your history." Nani's shoulders sank. "I hoped I'd never have to tell you any of this."
I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brow as I blinked up at Nani's worried expression. "I don't understand what you're saying."
"There's one story I never told you, because it's your story. When a Fae child is placed in a human home to be raised by humans, we call that child a changeling. They are rare in our world, and are only done in extreme circumstances. Changelings are stripped of their magic and raised as humans. After they've been here for twenty years, they lose their magic permanently. Most of the time, they never even realize they are not of this world. But now that you’ve come in contact with magic, I fear it has woken the magic buried inside."
My brow furrowed as her words sank in. I would be twenty in a few months, but I couldn't wrap my mind around what she was saying. Would I have never noticed this?
"Cassia, you're a changeling. You aren't human," she said.
"How can that be? You always told me the stories weren't real," I said.
The part of my mind that had been clawing to gain its freedom since I woke started to tingle as if reminding me that I never really thought they were just stories. Part of me always hoped that even though no one had seen the Fae for generations, there was some truth to her stories. Now that I was hearing Nani tell me it was all real, it didn't seem possible.
"My parents."
"Your mother gave birth to a baby girl who did not survive her first night. On that same day, you were born in faerie. I was charged with taking you to the human temple. When the midwife who delivered your mother's stillborn babe brought her for a blessing, I convinced her to return to the home with you. She told your mother that the fresh air and walk to the temple was enough to revive you."
I shook my head, not sure what I should believe. “I can’t be fae. Look at my mother, at Rose. I look just like them.”
Nani nodded. “You do. While most of your magic is dormant, changelings adapt to their surroundings. You grew to look like the human women around you and in turn, they grew to look more like you.”
“That doesn’t seem possible.” Nani had been by my side as long as I could remember and she had no reason to lie to me. I lifted the nightshirt again and glanced at the scars. Something happened to heal those wounds. "If I were Fae," I said the words slowly, still not believing them, "what would that make you?"
"I am a brownie, a helper faerie. I served your Fae mother. Now, I serve you," she said.
"That doesn't make any sense," I said. "And even if I believed it, it doesn't explain why I'd need to leave here. Nobody else would ever believe I wasn't human."
"Those who do believe, might try to hurt you. That creature that attacked you wasn't from this world. It's from a place far more sinister. Something must have changed, something's not right in Faerie. You have no way of protecting yourself. You don't even know how to use your magic. I think it's time for you to return."
"Magic?" Now I was starting to doubt everything Nani said. I wanted to believe there were faeries somewhere beyond the trees, but it was difficult to wrap my mind around having magic of my own.
It was one of the things I loved about the faerie stories I heard growing up, and as much as I wished I could be something more than what I was, I couldn't find it in me to believe that I had magic in any form.
Nani lifted the nightshirt just enough to show the edge of the scars across my midsection. "How do you think those healed so quickly? Wounds like that should not heal in one night. And when they see that the damage is gone, they're going to accuse you of worse things than being Fae."
"How could they? My own family?" I wanted to believe that they would support me and defend me and be happy that I was healed. But I knew that wasn't true. My own father auctioned me off to the highest bidder and was more concerned about his status than anything else. If I were a threat to his reputation, he'd find a way to eliminate me.
A lump rose in my throat as I thought back to the day my father mad
e me watch him end my favorite horse's life. She was old, and starting to have difficulty getting around. Rather than let me care for her like I wanted to, my father put a knife to her throat, telling me it was a great kindness to allow her to go quickly to death. I cried for hours, hating my father for what he had done. He never even showed a flicker of remorse. Would he do that to me? It wouldn't be difficult to tell everyone I had died from injuries sustained on my wedding day. Would he prefer that over having a daughter accused of witchcraft? Fear trickled down my spine like icy fingers. I knew Nani was right, even though I didn't want to believe it. "What do I do?"
"You have to flee, to the woods. Try to find the way in."
"How will I find it?" I asked. "And what if they don't let me in? Whoever left me here clearly didn't want me."
"Cassia, there are things you don't know," Nani said.
The door swung open and my father walked into the room, the doctor trailing behind him. My palms were sweaty and I looked up at Nani as dread seeped through me.
"You're awake," my father said, without a touch of happiness in his voice.
He was just making an observation. It didn't seem to matter to him if I was awake or not. Then, I decided that wasn't entirely true. To my father, I represented a substantial investment in his business. If anything happened to me, he couldn't marry me off.
"You may go," the doctor said to Nani.
I frowned, disliking the way the doctor so easily dismissed the most important person in my life. To everyone else, she was just a servant. To me, she was more my family than any of the others in this house. But in light of the revelation from Nani, it was possible there wasn't even blood to connect me to them. If she was telling the truth, I didn't have any family here.
Suddenly, I felt like I was surrounded by strangers, my head spun with the realization. I held my breath as the doctor approached, unsure of what I should do. I slammed my arm down on my side keeping my nightshirt in place. "It's feeling better, doctor. Please, don't touch it."
"Don't be foolish, girl." The doctor sat on the edge of my bed and moved my arm out of the way. "I'll be gentle, child," he said as he pulled the nightshirt up and as soon as he saw the healed flesh, his expression hardened.
"You said this was a fresh wound, why did you call me in for an old injury?" The Doctor stood and turned to my father. "My time is valuable, I cannot waste it on hysterical women. You need to get your daughter under control. If she were attacked by an animal, there would be injuries present." The doctor shook his head and pushed past my father as he stormed out of the room.
My heart raced as I waited to see how my father was going to react. His face was blank, unreadable. He reminded me of the quiet turn birds took right before a thunderstorm. Slowly, he walked over to me and looked at the scars on my side.
He scowled and shook his head. "I should send you away for this." He lifted his arm and I tensed, waiting for him to hit me. Instead, the back of his hand slammed into Nani's face. He grabbed her by her collar and dragged her away from the room. "I always suspected there was something unnatural about you."
I screamed, "Father, no!"
He paused at the doorway still holding onto Nani's collar.
She didn't put up a fight, and held her chin high. "It's alright, Cassia."
"No, no it's not alright," I said through the tears.
"This does not concern you, Cassia. We have laws here, magic is illegal," my father said.
"No, she didn't use magic," I said.
Nani smiled weakly. "Remember what I said."
My father dragged her from the room, then slammed the door behind them.
I swung my legs off the edge of the bed and tried to stand, but I was so weak that my body gave out from under me. I sat there, crumpled on the ground, as tears streamed down my face. I called after them, but my father and Nani were gone.
Chapter Five
If Nani was telling the truth, I was a magical creature, an immortal being. But if that were true, why did I feel so broken? It took every ounce of my energy to haul myself back up onto the edge of my bed.
My hands were shaking and I felt like I was recovering from an illness. Was she crazy? None of it seemed possible at all. As much as I would like to find out that I had some sort of power or something that may be special, it just didn't make sense.
It was true that I never felt like I belonged, never felt like I fit in, but I was sure lots of people felt that way. Especially girls forced into marriages that they didn't want.
Before I could figure out what I should do next, my door swung open and Rose appeared in my doorway. She walked into my room and stopped just short of where I sat on my bed. Hands on her hips she looked down at me, lips pulled together in a tight line. After several seconds, she finally dropped her arms. "Is it true?"
"Is what true?" I spat.
"That Nani's used magic to heal you." Lines from tears were still visible on Rose's face.
I was surprised to see an emotional response. I never thought she cared all that much about Nani, but then again, I wasn't sure Rose was capable of caring. Our parents tried to send all emotions away from both of us. I was never great at hiding mine to my father's despair.
Rose looked shaken and I couldn't tell if it was because she was afraid for Nani or she was worried about me. Either would surprise me, but given the expression on her face, either was possible.
"I don't know what happened." It was the truth, and that was all I knew. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what was going on. I wasn't sure if I should try and call after Nani or if I should be afraid of her. I didn't want to be afraid of her, there was nothing inside me telling me I should be afraid of her, but I couldn't explain anything that was happening to me.
"But the wounds, the injury, it's healed?" Rose asked.
I lifted my shirt showing her the scars.
Rose stumbled forward and collapsed on the bed next to me, covering the gasp that came out of her mouth with her hand. Tentatively, she reached her fingers out and brushed them against the raised scars. Then she shook her head, and dropped her hands to her lap. "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself."
"Rose, where did Father take Nani?" I was afraid to hear the answer, but I needed to figure out what I was going to do next. And until I knew what they were doing with the woman who had raised me, crazy or not, I wouldn't be able to come up with a plan.
"I'm not sure," Rose said. "But Father has responsibilities, if he goes easy on her, it will make him look weak."
"And is it so wrong? Is it such a bad thing if it results in saving someone's life?" I asked.
Rose stood and walked toward the door pivoting back to look at me when she reached it. "For your sake, I won't tell anyone what you just said." Then she left my room.
I forced myself to stand and walked on shaky legs over to where my dressing gown was hanging on a hook on the wall. The simple act of pulling the sleeves on and tying the belt around my waist was exhausting enough that I had to sit for a moment to catch my breath again.
While I waited, I heard the movements of another visitor outside my door. Rose hadn't bothered to close it behind her. Whoever was approaching wasn't yet in view. "Who is it? Who's out there?"
Aaron, the man that was seconds away from becoming my husband, before the beast had attacked, stepped into the doorframe. He bowed slightly, and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "My lady, I just wanted to check on you and see if you are feeling better."
I frowned. In all the confusion about the miraculous recovery, I hadn’t stopped to think about the fact that when I was attacked, the man who was supposed to be my protector for the rest of my life had fled. "You left me there."
"I thought you were right behind me," he said. "I had no weapons, you can't expect me to fight a creature like that with my bare hands."
"Is this how you'll defend me when I'm your wife?" I asked.
"They haven't told you," he said, his voice small.
"Told me what?" I asked.
"The priests, and your father, have agreed that due to the circumstances the marriage is complete without the sharing of the vows."
"That can't be," I said. The rules and ceremonies around weddings were very clear. The entire ceremony had to be performed, didn't it?
"They say, as soon as we consummate, it will be official in the eyes of the gods."
I tensed, pulling my knees up to my chest to close myself off from him. He couldn't possibly be here to claim me in that way right now. After everything I'd been through. The thought of it made me want to gag.
Aaron took a step back, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Of course I'm not here for that. Not now, we can do that when you're ready. We have time. Your father has granted me permission to take you home now that you are healed." He looked like a sad little boy. Lost, confused. I wondered if his family was pulling the strings as much as my own. It only made my dislike of him and my dislike of this marriage deepen.
I shook my head. "I'm not well enough to travel yet."
He bowed again. "Of course, my dear. It's probably best for you to rest another day or two and then we can leave. I will make sure that you recover in the lap of luxury. I will keep soldiers posted at your door at all times to make sure you stay safe from harm."
Soldiers placed at my door at all times didn't sound like something that was being done for my own benefit. That sounded like something you did to someone who was your prisoner or someone you didn't trust. "Am I to be trapped in my own home?"
Aaron's eyes widened, clearly surprised by my boldness.
I didn't back down. Dropping my feet back to the ground, I stood and lifted my chin. "I'm not sure what you were promised, but I will not be a prisoner."
Aaron's hands were shaking and disgust tumbled through me. This was the man who was supposed to be my protector? He was nothing but a coward and I had a feeling that if I left here with him, I would be another pawn in another person's game.
