Sabrina grasped his hand, squeezing it. ‘You won’t fail. Don’t even think like that, Max. Everyone feels a bit daunted by the prospect of parenthood. It’s normal.’
He gave another fleeting smile but a shadow remained in his gaze. ‘That reminds me...’ He let go of her hand and pulled a small velvet box out of his trouser pocket. ‘I have something else for you.’ He handed the box to her. ‘Open it. If you don’t like it we can change it for something else.’
Sabrina took the box and prised open the lid. Inside was an exquisite diamond ring that glinted as the light caught all its facets. Being in the business she was in, she saw lots of engagement rings but none had been as gorgeous as this one. ‘Oh, Max, it’s beautiful...’ She glanced up at him. ‘But it looks frightfully expensive.’
‘And why wouldn’t I buy you an expensive ring?’
Because you don’t love me.
She didn’t have to say it out loud. It was loud enough in her conscience to deafen her. She looked back at the ring and carefully took it out of its velvet home.
Max suddenly took the ring from her and lifted her hand and slipped it over her ring finger. ‘There. What about that? A perfect fit.’
‘How did you guess my size? Or is that another thing my parents have told you over the years?’
He gave a twisted smile. ‘They might well have. But, no, this time I guessed.’
Sabrina looked down at the ring winking on her finger. She tried not to think about how different this moment might have been if they were like any other normal couple. A couple who had met and fallen in love the old-fashioned way. ‘It’s a gorgeous ring, Max. Truly gorgeous.’
A frown appeared on his forehead. ‘Would you have preferred to choose one yourself?’
‘No. This one’s perfect.’ She glanced at him again. ‘But I’ll have to only wear it in secret for another month because if either of our parents see this giant sparkler on my hand—’
‘Maybe we should tell them.’
Sabrina frowned. ‘But I thought we agreed to keep it quiet until the twelve-week mark?’
He took her hand and toyed with the ring on her finger, his inscrutable gaze meshing with hers. ‘I know but we’ve had the first ultrasound and everything looks healthy so—’
She tugged her hand out of his and held it close to her body. ‘No, Max. I think we should wait. It’s only another month and then we can tell everyone about the baby and...and set a date for the wedding.’ Every time she thought about the wedding she had a panic attack. How was she going to get a dress made in time? What if she ballooned and looked nothing like the picture she had in her mind of the bride she had always wanted to be?
But it wasn’t just about looking the part...what if Max never came to love her? People who genuinely loved you never deserted you. It was love that sheltered and sustained a relationship, not an overblown sense of duty.
Max captured her hand again and stroked it in warm, soothing motions. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m hiding you from my parents out of shame or embarrassment, like we’re having some tawdry little affair. I’m proud to be your partner.’
Sabrina squeezed his hand. ‘Oh, Max, that’s so sweet of you. But I’m kind of enjoying our little secret. I’m surprised we’ve managed to keep it quiet this long. But I’m sure that’s only because my mum and dad are away on holiday at the moment. I told Mum when she phoned me that I was moving out of my flat to stay with a friend. Unusually for her, she didn’t ask which one, but it won’t be long before she does.’
‘But would it be such a problem to tell her you’re staying with me? I don’t want to come between you and your parents, especially your mother. And especially now you’re pregnant.’
Sabrina rolled her eyes. ‘You know what my parents are like, always telling me what I should do. I know they mean well, but as soon as they know I’m pregnant they’ll whip out their medical bags and whisk me off to have every test under the sun. I just want to have time to get used to it myself. I’m enjoying the secrecy and the privacy for now.’
Max turned her hand over and traced a lazy circle in her palm. ‘I’m enjoying it too.’
‘You are?’
His eyes glinted. ‘So much so, I think we should go away for the weekend.’
A bubble of excitement formed in her chest. ‘Where to?’
‘It’s a secret.’
Sabrina gave him a coy look. ‘You kind of like your secrets, don’t you?’
He gave a quick grin that transformed his face. ‘More than I realised. Can you take the time off work? I know you usually work on a Saturday but—’
‘It’s fine. My assistant Harriet is getting better all the time so she can take over while I’m away. I figured she’s going to have to do more and more for me the further along I get with the pregnancy.’
Max stroked his hand over the back of her head. ‘How long will you work? I can support you if you’d like to take more time off and—’
‘I love my job, Max. Pregnancy isn’t a disease. I’m perfectly healthy and—’
‘I just worry about you doing too much. Running a business more or less singlehandedly is not an easy task. You need to outsource so you’re not overburdened with unnecessary work. We have a wedding to plan and a baby on the way and that needs to take priority, surely?’
How could he suggest she take time out from the business she loved as if it was nothing more than a fill-in job? Sabrina swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood. ‘Will you stop lecturing me about what I should do? You’re starting to sound like my parents.’
‘Yeah, well, maybe your parents are onto something.’ Max’s tone tightened.
She glared at him, stung by his betrayal in siding with her parents. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
He released a rough-sounding breath. ‘Look, I don’t want to argue with you. I’m just saying you need to do things a little differently. You’re a talented designer, no question about that, but you can’t possibly make every single dress yourself.’
‘I don’t make every one myself. I have a small team of seamstresses but I do all the hand-sewing myself because that’s my signature touch.’
‘Would it help if I set up a workroom for you here?’ Max asked. ‘You could work from home and get your assistant to run the shop so you can rest when you need to.’
It was a tempting offer. She had often thought of working from home without the distraction of phones and walk-ins who were ‘just browsing’. Some of her hand sewing was complicated and painstaking work and she needed to concentrate. And truth be told, she had been feeling a little overwhelmed with it all even before she’d found out she was pregnant. ‘You wouldn’t mind?’
‘Why would I mind?’
‘I don’t know... I just thought weddings weren’t your thing.’
He came back to take her hands in his. ‘There is only one wedding I’m interested in right now and that’s ours. And the sooner it happens the better.’
Sabrina chewed the side of her mouth. ‘But I need time to make myself a dress.’
‘Don’t you have one in stock you could use?’
She rolled her eyes and pulled her hands away. ‘Duh. I’ve been planning my wedding since I was four years old. No. I cannot wear a dress from stock. I want to make it myself.’
He frowned. ‘How long will it take to make one?’
‘I usually have a six-month lead time for most of my clients. I’m only doing Holly’s in a shorter time frame because she’s my best friend.’
‘Six months?’ His tone was so shocked she might have well as said it would take a century.
‘I might be able to rustle something up a little earlier but I want my dress to be something I can be proud of when I look back on our wedding day.’ Not to mention her relationship with Max. But would she look back on that with pride or despair?
‘I am not stalling,’ Sabrina said. ‘Weddings are not dinner parties where you invite a few guests, cook some food and open some wine. It takes months of planning and—’
‘So we’ll hire a wedding planner.’
‘Max, you’re not listening to me,’ Sabrina said. ‘I want to plan my own wedding. I want to make my own dress. I don’t want it to be a rushed shotgun affair.’
His jaw worked for a moment. ‘I’d like to be married before the baby is born. I want it to have my name.’
‘The baby will have your name regardless.’ Sabrina sighed and came over to him, touching him on the forearm. ‘Maybe we can compromise a bit. I can’t say I want to walk up the aisle with a big baby bump on show. That’s not quite what I envisaged for myself when I was growing up.’
His hands came to rest on the tops of her shoulders, his eyes searching hers. ‘Would you be happy with a small and simple wedding, just family and a few close friends?’
She would have to be happy with it because she was starting to realise there wasn’t time for her to plan anything else. How far from her childhood dreams had she come? ‘Is that what you would like? Something small and intimate?’
One of his hands went to the nape of her neck, the other to cradle the side of her face. ‘I’m sorry I can’t give you exactly what you want but we can make do.’
Make do. There was that annoying phrase again. But Sabrina was increasingly aware of her habit of idealising stuff and ending up disappointed when nothing met her standards. Maybe it was better this way. To lower her expectations and be pleasantly surprised when it worked out better than she thought. She pasted on a smile. ‘Then that’s what we’ll do. Make do.’
CHAPTER NINE
BY THE TIME the weekend came, Sabrina had almost convinced herself her relationship with Max was just like that of any other young couple in love and preparing for their marriage and a baby. Almost. He whisked her out of London on Friday afternoon, with their weekend bags loaded in the boot of his car, and drove a couple of hours into the countryside to a gorgeous Georgian mansion a few kilometres from a quiet village.
The mansion had been recently renovated for the garden was still showing signs of having had tradesmen’s workboots and ladders and other construction paraphernalia all over it. But even in the muted late evening summer light she could see the neglected garden’s potential. Roses bloomed in messy abundance, clematis and fragrant honeysuckle climbed rampantly over a stone wall, and along the pathway leading to the front door she could see sweet alyssum filling every crack and crevice in a carpet of white and purple.
‘What a gorgeous place,’ Sabrina said, glancing at him as helped her out of the car. ‘Is it yours?’
‘Yes. Do you like it?’
‘I love it.’ She breathed in the clove-like scent of night stocks and sighed with pleasure. ‘Wow. It’s just like out of a fairytale. I’m almost expecting fairies or goblins to come dancing out of that back section of the wild garden.’
Max took her hand. ‘Come on. I’ll show you around.’ He led her to the front door, taking care she didn’t trip over the cracked pathway. ‘I bought it a while back. I’ve been coming down when I can to do some of the work myself.’
She gave him a sideways glance. ‘Well, I know from personal experience how good you are with your hands.’
He grinned back and squeezed her hand. ‘Cheeky minx. Careful, the sandstone step here is a bit uneven. I was going to replace it but I quite like the fact it’s been worn down over the years.’
It was becoming more and more apparent to Sabrina that Max was a traditionalist at heart. He was always careful in his designs to respect a building’s history and incorporate it cleverly into any new development on the same site, just as he had done with his house in Notting Hill. And wasn’t his determination to marry her because of the baby another indication of his commitment to his strong values?
Max unlocked the door and led her inside the house, switching on lights as he went. The interior had been tastefully decorated in mostly neutral colours, which brought in more light. The furniture was a mixture of old and new and she wondered if he’d chosen it himself or got an interior decorator to do it for him. He would certainly know plenty in the course of running his architectural firm. Most of whom would be female.
Sabrina swung her gaze back to his. ‘You have excellent taste. Or did you get someone to do the decorating for you?’
He kicked at the crooked fringe on the rug on the floor with his foot to straighten it out. ‘There’s a woman I use now and again. She’s good at listening to what I want and getting on with it.’
The big green-eyed monster was back and poking at Sabrina’s self-esteem. ‘Is that all you use her for?’
Max frowned. ‘Pardon?’
Sabrina wished she hadn’t spoken. She turned away and ran her hand over a beautiful walnut side table. ‘Nothing...’
He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘Sabrina. Listen to me.’ His voice was gentle but firm. ‘You and I are in a committed relationship. You don’t have to worry that I’ll be looking at any other woman. Ever. Understood?’
She chewed at her lower lip. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t help feeling a little insecure. It’s not like we’re in love or anything. How can you be so certain you won’t fall in love with someone else?’
His hands tightened on her shoulders. ‘Stop torturing yourself with unlikely scenarios. I realise this is a tricky time for you. You have crazy hormonal stuff happening and a lot has happened in a short period of time. But believe me when I say I’ll remain faithful to our marriage vows. You have my word on that, sweetheart.’
Sabrina looked into his grey-blue eyes and wished there was a magic spell she could cast that would make him fall in love with her. It would be so much easier to relax and enjoy every facet of their relationship if she thought it was founded on the things that were most important to her.
He was offering commitment without love. Other men offered love and then reneged on the commitment. Could she continue to hope and pray Max would find the courage to relax the guard around his heart and love her as she longed to be loved? She stretched her mouth into a smile. ‘Thank you.’
He inched up her chin and planted a kiss on her lips. ‘Come on. I’ll show you upstairs.’
Sabrina followed him up the staircase to the landing, where eight bedrooms each with their own bathroom were situated. The master bedroom was huge with a gorgeous window seat that overlooked the rambling garden and the landscape beyond. Sabrina knelt on the chintz-covered cushioned seat and looked at the wonderful view of rolling fields and the dark green fringe of forest and wondered if she had ever seen such a beautiful setting. ‘Gosh, it’s so private. Are there any neighbours?’
‘Not close by,’ Max said. ‘That’s why I bought it. It’s nice to get away from the hustle and bustle every now and again.’
Sabrina rose from the window seat. ‘Do you plan to live here one day? It’s a big house for one person. I mean, you weren’t planning on settling down and all.’
He reached past her to open the window to let in some fresh air. ‘It’s more of a weekender. I find it relaxing to be surrounded by nature instead of noise. It clears my head so I can work on my designs.’
Sabrina bit her lip and fiddled with the brass knob the curtains were held back by. ‘As big as this place is, you might not get much head space when there’s a wailing baby in the house...’
He took her hands in his, his thumbs stroking the backs of her hands. ‘Are you nervous about being a mum?’
‘A little...yeah, actually a lot.’ She sighed. ‘I know women have been having babies for e
ver but it’s my first baby and I can’t help feeling a little worried I won’t be good enough.’
He cut back an incredulous laugh and squeezed her hands. ‘Not good enough? You’ll be the best mum in the world. You’re a natural nurturer.’
‘But don’t you worry about how this baby is going to change both our lives? I mean, a bit over a month ago we were both single and hating each other. Now we’re having a baby and getting married.’
‘I have never hated you.’ His tone had a strong chord of gravitas.
But what did he feel for her? ‘You certainly gave me that impression. Not that I can talk, of course.’
His expression was cast in rueful lines. ‘Yes, well, with our parents watching us like hawks for any sign of a melting of the ice between us, I guess we both did or said things we regret now.’
Sabrina moved closer as his hands went to her hips. It never ceased to amaze her how neatly they fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle. ‘You’re being far too gracious, Max. I seem to remember being an absolute cow to you on a number of occasions.’
He dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose and smiled. ‘You’re forgiven.’
She smiled back, struck again by how much a smile transformed his features. She lifted her hand to his face and traced the contours of his mouth. ‘You have such a nice smile. I don’t think I ever saw you smile at me before a few weeks ago.’
‘Maybe you’re teaching me to lighten up a bit.’
‘By accidentally falling pregnant? Yeah, like that’s the way to do it.’
He brushed her hair back from her forehead. ‘What’s done is done. We’re moving forward now and it won’t help either of us to focus on the negatives about how we got together.’ He stepped back with a brief flash of a smile. ‘I’m going to bring in our things while you settle in. I’ve brought some supper for us.’
Sabrina sat on the end of the bed once he’d gone, her thoughts in a messy tangle. Was she being too negative about their situation? She was a lot better off than many young women who suddenly found themselves pregnant after a one-night stand. Max was determined to stand by her and support her. He was bending over backwards and turning himself inside out to be the best partner he could be.
The Venetian One-Night Baby Page 11
