Nicola wiped the tears from her cheeks and joined Scott and Sophie as they climbed into the car to go home.
Chapter 124
Sophie sat between her parents on the living room couch; each held one of her hands. She had fallen asleep there almost as soon as Scott had brought her home. Julie had stood watch over her. When she woke, Julie had made her cinnamon sugar toast and scrambled eggs. Sophie ate with gusto.
Though her daughter was safe now, Julie’s heart still beat painfully. Sophie had come so close to a violence that might well have destroyed her soul. A violence that might even have resulted in the loss of her life. Julie knew she could never have recovered from being—however inadvertent—the cause of something so disastrous to her child. Never.
Suddenly, Sophie let go of her parents’ hands and got up from the couch. “I’m going to bed,” she said. “I’m so tired, I feel like I could sleep for days.”
“Do you want me to stay with you for a while?” Julie asked.
Sophie smiled a bit. “That’s okay. But thanks.”
When she had gone, Scott turned to his wife.
“She’s not going back to the camp,” he declared.
“Of course. Do you want to report him or—”
“I’ll do it.”
Julie reached out and gently touched Scott’s hand. “Thank you.”
Scott took Julie’s hand in his. “We almost lost our daughter today,” he said quietly, “and maybe it’s not entirely our fault, but we’re to blame in some way and we can’t deny that. We’ve got to do something to make this situation better.”
“You’re right.” Julie moved closer to her husband. “You’re a hero,” she said softly. “You saved our daughter’s life.”
“I’m not a hero,” Scott said gruffly. He let go of Julie’s hand and stood. “I’m going to make those calls now.”
Julie watched as her husband left the room.
The affair with Laci Fox had happened. It had ended. Fact. Maybe there was a level on which Julie could never trust Scott again. But Scott’s lack of stability did not reflect on her character, her personality, her career, her being a mother. Scott was who he was. Julie was who she was. And never the twain shall meet?
Maybe. But maybe not. Julie was emerging from this summer wiser. She loved Scott, but if at some point he chose to destroy their marriage, she would not die. She would be sad and disappointed—in Scott, not in herself—but she would not give up.
Most importantly, Julie wanted Scott and Sophie to make peace. Scott was a good father. He had done something stupid and callous, but what person didn’t do something stupid and callous at some ugly point in his life? Sophie needed to learn the messy truth about human nature—that it was endlessly varied—and to realize that her parents were human beings, simultaneously glorious and flawed.
Julie rose from the couch. She would make dinner for herself and her husband. Just the two of them.
Chapter 125
When Carol had gone home the other afternoon, Bonnie had spent a fair amount of time wondering why Ken had never told her that Carol had asked him to accompany her to New York. She would never really know the answer to that question, but she might hazard a guess. Ken had been further protecting Carol from ridicule or judgment. He might even have sensed that Bonnie would take a bit of mean-spirited pleasure in knowing that her big sister wasn’t so perfect after all, that she had expressed a need, even if it had been couched as an invitation to an adventure, and that she had been turned down.
Bonnie felt a bit ashamed. She couldn’t be mad at Ken for keeping part of the story to himself. He had always been a better, kinder person than she could ever be.
Now, Bonnie reached out to lift the anchor-shaped knocker of Ferndean’s front door but before she could, a voice called, “Come in, it’s open!”
With a smile, Bonnie stepped inside.
“I saw you drive up,” Carol explained. Bonnie thought her sister looked tired.
“Let me take that from you,” Bonnie said, stepping forward to relieve Carol of the tray she was holding. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”
“It was no trouble,” Carol said, leading them into the living room.
“Scones with butter and jam, tea, coffee, milk, sugar, honey! I’ll spoil my dinner.” Bonnie set the tray onto the coffee table. The table really was ugly, she thought. Carol had a point about so much in the house being ready for retirement.
“Look at it this way,” Carol said with a smile. “You won’t have to bother to cook dinner.”
“True! I have a bit of family news to share,” Bonnie said, pouring a cup of tea for her sister. She related the tale of Sophie’s terrifying ordeal, highlighting Nicola’s part in Sophie’s rescue. Carol reacted with a particularly colorful expletive and a threat of severe bodily harm should she ever come upon the guilty party.
“Thank goodness Nicola didn’t stand on ceremony when she saw Sophie’s phone on the mantel,” Bonnie added.
“Thank goodness, indeed,” Carol agreed. “Respecting a minor’s privacy is all well and good, but there are times when, well, when instinct tells you to interfere.”
“You’re thinking of those difficult times before Nicola came to Maine, aren’t you?” Bonnie asked gently.
“I am. I’m sure Nicola hated me for snooping, but I felt I had no choice.” Carol settled back in their father’s chair. “There’s something else I probably should have told you before,” she said. “Ken and I never had sex. He said he wanted to wait for the person he was going to marry.”
Bonnie smiled. Deep down she had known all along that Ken was a virgin—as was she—on their wedding night, but she hadn’t wanted to embarrass him by asking for confirmation. Men were notoriously sensitive about those things. “Thank you,” she said. “For telling me.”
“Believe me,” Carol went on with a smile. “I tried to get him to change his mind, but all along I think he knew we weren’t meant to be. You were Ken’s one and only, Bonnie, the love of his life.”
“I was lucky to have found that kind of love,” Bonnie said. “Now, Carol, have something to eat. You look a little worn-out.”
Carol passed a hand across her forehead and didn’t reply.
Bonnie leaned forward. “Carol? Are you all right?”
Carol dropped her hand into her lap. “No,” she said faintly. “I don’t feel well.”
“What’s wrong?” Bonnie asked, now at her sister’s side. “My God, you’re drowned in sweat!”
“My chest hurts. I feel dizzy. Bonnie, I don’t want to die,” Carol murmured.
Bonnie had already reached for her phone and had dialed 911. “You won’t,” she said fiercely. “I won’t let you. Hello? Yes.”
Bonnie gave the dispatcher the address and a brief description of her sister’s distress.
“Help will be here in a moment,” she said, grasping her sister’s hand.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” Carol said, her voice low and weak. “About Ferndean. Important . . .”
“The paramedics are here!”
Bonnie ran to the door and flung it open.
It was only when Carol had been safely settled in the ambulance and Bonnie was behind the wheel of her car that she realized she was trembling violently.
“Please, God,” she prayed, starting the engine. “Please, let my sister live.”
Chapter 126
Carol felt groggy. She was vaguely aware of where she was but not sure why she was there.
She had other questions, too.
Had she told Bonnie that she was releasing her hold on Ferndean? No. She didn’t think that she had. Well, she would tell her soon. As soon as . . .
Carol woke. She looked up at the clock on the far wall. An hour had passed. Or maybe she was reading the clock wrong....
People in white or green came and went. Bonnie might have been there at one point.
The next time she woke she was alone. This time, her brain felt clearer. H
er heart was beating normally.
Carol turned her face into the pillow.
She could have worked out a better arrangement with Alex, one in which he would have had access not only to his daughter but to the mother of his child.
Why hadn’t she been able to choose a life more accommodating of her family’s needs?
Because age comes too soon and wisdom comes too late. Who had said that?
Before Carol could ponder that question, she was again asleep.
Chapter 127
Nicola glanced at the speedometer. The last thing she needed was to be stopped by the police when time could be of the essence.
Her mother had been taken ill. Nicola did not know what had happened. She had assumed the worst.
An hour earlier, Bonnie had called Nicola on her cell, but Nicola had had her phone turned off, her habit when working at Pine Hill. Her aunt had then called the administrative office and someone had come looking for Nicola. He had no more information other than that Carol Ascher had been taken to Yorktide Community Hospital.
Nicola fought a wave of panic and tightened her hands on the wheel. She could not be losing her mother, not now when she had just found her father and he, too, would be gone before long.
“Please,” she whispered aloud, “whoever is listening, don’t let my mother die. Please.”
Chapter 128
“Mom said that we should wait until she had more news about Carol’s condition before we visit.”
Scott nodded. “Okay. Whatever she thinks is best.”
Julie and Scott were seated at the kitchen table with two cups of tea. Sophie was at a friend’s house. There was a sense of quiet and calm in the Miller home, a sense that had been absent for so long that at first, Julie had trouble recognizing it. It made her feel safe enough to ask a question she had asked once before. The answer had been unsatisfactory.
“Scott,” she said. “Why did you have the affair?”
“Because I’m weak,” he replied immediately. His eyes were sad. “I’m vain. Laci flattered me. The whole thing was all about my ego. And I deserve to be punished. But not this way, Julie. Not by having to witness you falling apart. Scream at me. Throw me out. But stop punishing the wrong person.”
“What if it happens again?” she asked.
“What if it doesn’t?” Scott’s reply was not said challengingly.
“I can’t live my life waiting for disaster to strike.”
“Then don’t live it that way,” he said. “Choose to believe in me.”
“Can you promise not to betray me again?” Julie asked.
“I can promise,” Scott said forcefully. “I do promise. Sincerely. And I feel confident that I’ll never mess up a second time because there’s no way I want to see you this miserable ever again.”
Julie looked closely at her husband, at the bluish-green eyes she had always found so compelling, at the strong, well-shaped hands that had cradled their daughter so lovingly, at the lock of his hair that flopped above his left eye no matter how many times he pushed it back into place. She believed him. “I did this to myself,” she said. “I allowed myself to suffer.”
“Don’t blame yourself for suffering,” Scott said urgently. “Just don’t.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk of blame,” Julie said.
“Yes, we should. Don’t let me off the hook. But forgive me if you can. Because if you can’t, we won’t be able to go on being married. Not decently married.”
Decently married. That meant living together in a home they had built, not cohabitating in a detention center.
Julie considered. She and Scott had already done enough damage to Sophie. For that reason—and for others—she would try her best to mend her marriage. “I can forgive you,” she said to Scott. She had always been able, and now she was also willing.
Julie’s phone alerted her to a text from her mother. They could visit Carol now. She had been admitted and was in a semiprivate room.
“I’ll drive,” Scott said, and the two were on their way.
Chapter 129
Bonnie had been with Carol when Julie and Scott arrived at the hospital. In spite of the stressful situation, Bonnie had noticed that the Millers had seemed more like a genuine couple than they had in months. She didn’t think she was imagining things.
With assurances that Carol had not suffered a cardiac event or a stroke, but rather a particularly spectacular anxiety episode, Bonnie and the others had finally left her to rest.
Now, comfortably seated in her cozy living room, Bonnie decided once and for all that she would let Carol have Ferndean House if that was what she really wanted. Life was just too short to spend it fighting over what amounted to a pile of wood, glass, and nails.
She loved her sister. She had nothing for which to forgive her. Neither had mistreated the other, as children or as adults, at least not consciously. And they were no longer rivals for their parents’ affection and attention. They hadn’t been in years, in spite of what Bonnie had told herself to believe. What possible reason, other than stubbornness, could there be at this autumnal stage of their lives not to come together?
Bonnie drew one of her handmade quilts over her lap. She vaguely recalled that Carol had wanted to tell her something just as the paramedics were arriving. But maybe she had imagined that. She had been so frightened, she was surprised she could remember anything that had taken place or been said from the moment Carol fell ill until the moment she was in a doctor’s care.
Well, if it was important, Carol would tell her eventually.
Bonnie yawned. It was time for a nap.
Chapter 130
“You really don’t need to fuss,” Carol said. Since Nicola had arrived twenty minutes earlier she hadn’t stopped adjusting blinds, straightening sheets, refreshing water, and generally, well, fussing.
“I like being busy,” Nicola told her mother. “I like being needed.”
Kin keeping in its most basic form. Carol gestured Nicola closer and spoke softly; the patient on the other side of the curtain didn’t need to hear the details of Carol’s life. “I’ve been thinking. There’s no need for your father to know about my little scare.”
“Nonsense,” Nicola said roundly. “I’m calling Alex when I get home and telling him what happened. He has the right to know.”
Did he? Carol sighed. She supposed that he did.
“Why did this anxiety event happen now, when all your secrets are told, when everything is so much better between you and me and Bonnie?” Nicola wondered.
“I don’t know,” Carol said. “But I intend to find out. I’ll ask my doctor if she can recommend a therapist.” Carol plucked at the neck of her johnny. “There’s no way to look stylish while wearing this thing, is there?”
Nicola smiled. “Afraid not. At least they let you put your jewelry back on. Are you cold? I could drape a blanket around your shoulders.”
“Nicola, I’m fine. I don’t plan to be caught wearing a blanket in public until I’m at least ninety. If then.”
“I’m glad to see you looking ahead. I’ve finally just found my family and I’m not letting them go.”
“Stop worrying,” Carol said.
Nicola put her hands on her hips. “Right, like I can possibly not worry when my mother is in the hospital. At least you’re allowing me to visit, not like the last time.”
“That was different.”
“I know, Mom. Are you hungry?”
“Actually,” Carol said, “I’m famished. But they won’t let me order from the regular menu, not that it’s particularly enticing. I’m stuck with the heart-healthy nonsense.”
“It’s not nonsense, Mom. But it probably is unappetizing. How about I run out and get you something edible?”
“That would be lovely, Nicola,” Carol said earnestly. “And make it something involving avocado, will you? Nobody can object to avocado.”
Nicola hurried off and Carol got out of bed to use the tiny bathroom. She hadn’t told N
icola yet that she was relinquishing Ferndean House, though she hadn’t been able to resist dropping a hint days earlier. Bonnie deserved to be the first one to know for sure that her future as keeper of Ferndean was assured.
Carol looked into the mirror above the minuscule sink and smiled.
Chapter 131
“Hello, Nicola.”
The moment Nicola heard her father’s voice, a sob broke from her heart.
“What is it?” Alex said quietly. “Take a deep breath. Tell me.”
Nicola wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Carol,” she began, “Mom, she . . . she’s going to be okay, but she’s in the hospital. She had a bad anxiety attack. I thought she was dying. I’m sorry,” she said as a fresh flood of tears overwhelmed her.
“Don’t be sorry,” her father said softly. “Don’t ever be sorry for loving someone.”
And Nicola did love her mother. She always had.
“Dad? Thank you for being my father.”
“Thank you for being my child, Nicola.” Alex’s voice was now almost a whisper.
Only when the call had ended and Nicola was sipping a comforting cup of tea with honey did she realize that she had called her father Dad for the very first time.
That was cool.
Chapter 132
Upon returning from the hospital, assured that Carol was doing well, Julie and Scott had put together a meal of soup, sandwiches, and salad.
Sophie was still at her friend Anabel’s house. She had decided to keep what had happened with Tim from her friends not involved with the camp. As for the other counselors, some of them must have known what Tim was up to, targeting an underage girl; Sophie was considering confronting them about their silence. But not quite yet.
“None of this is your fault,” Julie had assured her daughter repeatedly. “Tim is the wrongdoer here, not you. It’s Tim who deserves to be punished.”
All Our Summers Page 37
