Yvette muttered something. Car doors opened and shut and the engine turned over.
"Where's the car, kid?" I asked.
"On the street," Lukas whispered.
"Lead the way." I gestured for him to go first.
Headlights lit up the street and an SUV swept past without slowing.
"We're going to lose them if we don't hurry," Audrey said.
Lukas trotted ahead of us, to a beaten up old wreck that looked ready to fall apart at any moment.
"Everyone in." I grabbed Lukas before he could climb into the driver's seat. "In the back, kid, between Benny and Imogen." They would take care of him.
He scowled, but did as he was told.
I sat in the driver's seat and turned the key. The engine chugged into life. The car had plenty of fuel, thank the gods. I shut the door and pushed down the accelerator half a second after the others closed theirs. I pulled away from the curb and after the SUV.
"Um, shouldn't you put on the headlights?" Lukas asked.
"They'd see us if I do," I said. "Don't worry, kid, I can see in the dark."
"My name isn't kid," Lukas said.
"Whatever," I said under my breath. I followed the SUV out onto the highway and kept a safe distance from its tail lights. "Any idea where these assholes are going?"
"Grandma said swearing is bad," Lukas remarked.
"Is she here now?" I asked over my shoulder.
"No," he conceded.
"Then any idea where the fuck these assholes are going? They said something about putting tanks of toxin in the river."
Lukas gasped. "There's a bridge. It's about twenty minutes out of town. We go there to jump off and—"
I cut him off. "Okay, let's assume that's where they're going then. Are there trees around to hide behind?"
"Yeah, heaps. It's one of the—"
"Great."
The SUV slowed and turned into a side road.
"That's how you know they're evil," I said, "they didn't use their indicator."
Audrey responded with a choked laugh. The kind she does when she doesn't want me to know she found what I said funny. Someday she might surrender to my astounding humour. I was, after all, pretty damned funny when I wanted to be.
"You didn't use yours either," Lukas pointed out.
Audrey laughed properly this time.
"Nothing would give us away faster than a flashing light," I grumbled. Except the sound of the rust bucket on a silent night. I pulled up in the trees maybe a hundred metres from the SUV and killed the engine.
I pushed open my door and got out as quietly as I could. Fortunately the baddies were doing nothing to hide their presence. Instead they spoke in raised voices and walked with lamps on their foreheads.
"Frank!" Chad called out. "Where are you, mate?"
"Over here." A lamp moved back and forth amongst the trees as though waved above a head.
"Thank you, Frank," I said under my breath. I nodded toward Imogen who settled back into her seat for a moment, her hand over the top of her phone.
She tapped at it, then nodded. "That should do it. We won't have long though."
I rubbed my hands together. "Great. Let's eat then."
"Dibs on Yvette." Imogen tucked her phone away and got out of the car.
"She's all yours." I nodded. I grabbed her hand in mine and we slipped through the trees toward the SUV.
Chad and Yvette moved through the trees with all the stealth of a herd of elephants, which made them easy to find and easier to follow without being detected. We could sneak up, grab and kill them without them being aware of a thing. That, however, was far too easy.
"Hey, nice night for it," I called out when we were about five or six metres away.
They spun around and shone their headlamps right in my eyes. I threw up a hand to shield them, but smiled, fangs and all. Luckily this kind of light did no harm to us.
"What the hell?" Yvette frowned, but didn't look scared. Yet.
Chad looked us up and down. "Just some local nutcases. Go and do your drugs somewhere else." He turned away, but I closed the distance and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I don't do drugs, asshole. Drugs are bad for you. They fuck you up. Do I look like I want to be fucked up?"
He tried to shake off my hand, but failed. "You looked pretty screwy already," he growled. "Get the hell away from me."
"Hells, plural," I replied. "But you'll learn all about that very soon." I shoved him around enough to lean down and sink my fangs into his throat.
He let out a high-pitched shriek, but froze on the spot.
He tasted like stale wine and evil deeds, but I drank deep, regardless.
In the corner of my mind, I knew Yvette tried to run, but Imogen caught up after a few steps and was feeding on her as well. Audrey had gone to hunt Frank.
Benny and the kid were still near the car. Thank the gods they were, because I almost finished feeding when Benny shouted, "They're coming!"
I had a last suck and let Chad go. He staggered back, dazed but still alive. Killing him was tempting, but I resisted.
I nodded to Imogen and sprinted back to the car. Audrey arrived a moment later. We threw ourselves inside and I gunned the engine. We flew across the road and into the trees on the other side. We bumped over the brush for maybe a hundred metres before I brought us to a stop.
I peered out the window just as flashing lights appeared on the road. One car, two, three.
"There are more cops out here than I would have thought," I remarked.
"Yeah," Imogen marvelled. "More than enough to take care of those three." She sounded disappointed.
"I know you wanted to kill them," I said, "but then someone would finish what they started. At least this way the cops might find who hired them to do this. That's the best way to assure it won't happen again later."
Maybe I was naive. These companies were worth billions. They'd probably pay to escape any charges, but they'd likely throw these three under the bus. Either way, the river was safe for a while. That would give Grandpa and Grandma time to fight back.
"We should get you home," I said to Lukas.
"No need," he said cheerfully. "I texted Grandma to say where I was." He held up a hand with Imogen's phone in it. She let out a cry of protest and snatched it back.
"You little thief." She eyed him, but didn't seem to be angry.
Lukas grinned. "Grandpa is on his way. And Merry Christmas."
I glanced at my watch and realised he was right. It was past midnight already.
"Yeah, merry fucking Christmas, we're about to get ripped apart by werewolves." I scowled. Little brat.
"Naw, Grandma said thanks," Lukas replied easily. "I told her it was my idea. That you just came along to help catch the bad guys."
"Hey, that was Imogen's idea," I protested.
"I could tell Grandma you kidnapped me," Lukas suggested.
"You're a little shit, you know that?" I asked.
He grinned. "Yeah, but lucky or you wouldn't have had a car. Grandpa will probably let you keep it, so you won't have to steal another one."
"Great, an old rust trap." I sighed. "It's better than nothing, I suppose. Thanks, kid." As werewolves went, he was okay I guess.
"Hey Pres," Benny called out from the backseat.
"Yeah, Benny?"
"Merry Christmas."
I smiled. "You too, babe. Merry Christmas, Imogen."
"Merry Christmas, darling," she replied.
I turned to Audrey.
She eyed me back. "What?"
I shrugged. "Nothing, sister dear. Nothing at all." I patted my full belly.
Merry, bloody Christmas to all, and to all a good fright.
* * *
If you liked this story, please leave a review!
If you loved it, come and join Mirren's reader group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/mirrenandmaggiesmayhem.
About the Author
Mirren Hogan lives in NSW Australia with her hus
band, two daughters, dog, cat, and countless birds. She has a Bachelor of Arts (English/ history), a Graduate Diploma of Arts (writing) and a couple of degrees in education. She writes fantasy, urban fantasy and dabbles in other genres.
Tales of the Favored: a Christmas Tale
A Born Vampire Short Story
Elizabeth Dunlap
About Tales of the Favored: A Christmas Tale
The holiday hating vampire, Lisbeth, is on a mission to decorate her house for Christmas, but when she runs into the witch, Jaz, at the grocery store, one thing leads to another, and now they're stuck in a magical book, where the only way to escape is to discover the true meaning of Christmas.
Chapter 1
T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even my husbands.
Okay, it wasn’t Christmas Eve. Yet. But I felt it coming, like a slow crawl of doom. The inevitability that was the holidays.
Holidays and I had never mixed, not after four hundred years on my own, not after decades with my growing family, and certainly not after going back in time and altering my entire timeline. Despite that, while juggling our rapidly growing triplets, that were physically about age five by now, and settling into this new life, I was determined to make peace with celebrating things, if not for me, for my family.
I’d watched as many Christmas films as I could stomach (I got to five, don’t @ me), and made notes on what Hollywood considered a ‘proper Christmas.’
Let’s be real. I was a vampire, and I was over four hundred years old. Vampires never changed, and if we did, we grumbled about it the entire time.
That’s exactly what I was doing as I stood inside a giant grocery store with my little list in hand: I was grumbling under my breath at the bullshit I was about to endure. I could’ve just ordered everything online, or sent someone to go get it for me, but I wasn’t going to be lazy when it came to the people I loved.
Before I met Knight and Arthur, they were alone, without any family. They both arrived in my life carrying a single duffel bag each, and it was all they owned. Balthazar similarly had nothing before me, not a family, not anything. And unlike the previous versions of my husbands, these new iterations of them didn’t have over sixty years of time with me, and that meant I still needed to show them exactly what they meant to me.
So that brought me here to this godforsaken grocery store with a list I’d compiled from watching five Christmas movies.
God help me.
“Can I help you find something?” someone asked me. I turned to see one of the store workers smiling at me in a way that was slightly creepy. She had on a bright blue vest that was decorated with several Christmas pins, and her necklace was a string of lights that flickered different colors.
I held up my list and pointed to it, feeling like a complete idiot. “Christmas.”
She tried not to giggle at me, raising a finger to motion in the right direction. “That way, ma’am, just past the pharmacy. Do you need any help when you get there?”
Yes, me, an over four hundred years old vampire needed a human to help me shop. I’d never get over the humiliation. I shook my head at the worker and ran away towards the Christmas section, hoping she wouldn’t follow me. Thankfully, she didn’t, and I was free to peruse the shelves filled with balls and angels and fake snow.
Fake snow.
Why would anyone want fake snow? It was basically a package of plastic dandruff. As I stared at the package in distain, someone’s shout made me jump in my shoes.
“It’s you!”
A tall ethereal girl stood in the aisle next to me, but there was only a faint recognition on her face as she stared at me. Then a small pink haired witch popped up behind her, and I knew immediately who she was.
“Jaz, nice to see you,” I greeted as I put the bag of fake snow back on the shelf. “I didn’t know you lived in Texas.”
“Oh, I don’t!” she pronounced with a smile. “I’m here visiting Josephine. Jo, Lisbeth. Lisbeth, Jo.”
Josephine’s blonde hair was pulled back into a bun, and I noticed a tattoo of a scythe on her collarbone. “I know who Lisbeth is, Jasmine. We’ve just never officially met.” I think I would’ve remembered a tall drink of water like her. “It’s a bit hard to explain.”
“Jaz,” the witch corrected. “Don’t call me Jasmine, you sound like my mom when I forget to set the table for dinner.” She flicked Josephine on the arm. “Jo here is a reaper/goddess.”
“Oh great,” I said with a groan. “More supernatural creatures I don’t know about. Or I found out at some point over the past four hundred years and someone made me forget they exist.”
“Don’t feel bad,” Jo soothed, smiling sympathetically. “My dad forgets I exist too.”
“Zing!” Jaz praised under her breath. “Sooo, what’s a vampire doing at Wal-Mart? Don’t you have servants? Or InstaCart? Had no idea you actually shop for your own underwear.”
“I’m umm…” Admitting it out loud was going to cause me physical pain, so I leaned close to them just in case anyone could overhear us. “I’m Christmas shopping.”
Jaz clapped her hand over her mouth and tried very hard to not giggle at me, but one slipped out anyway. “Why did you say that like you’re buying tampons?” she squeaked through her fingers.
I rolled my eyes and wished I was invisible. “I don’t like… holidays. They’re not my thing.”
Jaz crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her lower lip out in a pout. “But why?”
I diverted my eyes to a display of Charlie Brown glass ornaments. “I grew up an orphan. I’m not one now, but that’s how I’ve been for over four hundred years. Vampires don’t really do holidays anyway, given that they’re a celebration of the passage of time, and immortality kind of makes time passing just part of life. That’s not to say that all vampires don’t celebrate, but growing up, the ones that did had a family to celebrate with. Unlike me.” Flicking my eyes back to the girls, Jaz was squinting at me, and Jo was inspecting her nails.
“Yes, yes, orphan, sad childhood, you’re super old, lemme see that list.” Jaz snatched it from my hand before I could stop her, and Jo read it over her shoulder while Jaz scanned what I’d written. “Tree. Lights. Balls. Festive decorations. And you put a question mark beside that.” I groaned, fiddling with my jacket. Utter humiliation on aisle 5. She handed the list back by tucking it into my breast pocket and patting my boob. “Honey. You came to the right witch. I happen to be married to the Claus heir. Yes, like Santa Claus. I’m 99% certain little Alec has some Chris Kringle DNA in him, even if he adamantly denies it. There’s too much of a coincidence with their last name and the fact that we have an entire attic dedicated to Christmas shit, and no, I’m not exaggerating. I made a joke about it once to my Claus mother-in-law, and she didn’t speak to me for a month.”
Ahh, mother-in-laws. The one thing I never had to deal with. Knight and Arthur parents were dead, and Balthazar didn’t have parents. Then again, my mom, dad, and stepmom were enough to go around.
“Lisbeth,” Jaz pronounced, clapping her hand on my shoulder and startling me. “Buckle up. We’re going to the North Pole.”
Chapter 2
By ‘North Pole,’ Jaz apparently meant the Claus mansion, the warlock Alec’s home that he’d gifted to Jaz when they were married.
Jaz talked non-stop on the drive to the mansion, telling me her life story and catching me up on all that had happened to her since we last spoke. She’d been very busy, it seemed, and she talked to me like we’d been friends for years.
Jo watched me through the rearview mirror, her blue eyes not quite as beautiful as Arthur’s. Hers were still pretty, just like she was. She reminded me of my second daughter, Dreya, who was also blonde with blue eyes. Dreya had more of her father, Arthur, in her, making her hardy and strong. Jo looked delicate, like at any moment she’d blow away in the wind.
“So how did you two meet?” I asked during the small convers
ation lull once we’d pulled up to the very fancy Claus mansion. There were statues, towers, balconies, and a blossoming garden. It made our vampire castle look like a Motel 6.
“Long story,” Jo remarked as she turned to look out the car window. “Another time, maybe. Side note, it kinda involves you.”
“What?”
“We’re heeere!” Jaz shouted in triumph, and she slammed on the brakes of her vintage Cadillac, thrusting me forward so I banged my shoulder on the front seat. She turned and glared at me. “Hey, I told you to put a seatbelt on, Lisbeth! Don’t care if you’re a vampire, I am not prepared to resurrect you.”
Jo unbuckled herself and opened her door. “Don’t worry, she’s not dying today.” She got out without another word and we both joined her, standing outside the Claus mansion on its enormous front porch.
The front door opened and a large white wolf ran out of it, coming straight at us. Even though I could smell what the wolf really was, it was still a surprise to see it shift into a short Korean man before he got to Jaz and picked her up in his muscled arms. I recognized the Lycan as Pierce, one of Jaz’s husbands. Jaz and Pierce were the same height, and he seemed to like lifting her up just a bit when he kissed her. He set her down, nuzzling her nose, and I missed my werewolf husband, Knight, because he did the same thing to me.
I could’ve been in his arms, but no, I had to go effing Christmas shopping.
Choices regretted.
Someone else came out the front door, an insanely tall man wearing a suit. My husbands were all really tall, but this guy was taller. He towered over us like a suited skyscraper.
“Josephine,” he greeted in a thick British accent. “Did everything go well at the market?” Jo completely ignored him, like he was simply a decoration on the door, and walked past him without a word. It was not lost on me how much that bothered him, but the man smiled warmly at me, and he reminded me of Balthazar, my husband that had once been an Incubus. “I’m Lucifer. Nice to meet you, Lisbeth.” I raised an eyebrow at him knowing my name, since we’d never met, and he chuckled disarmingly. “I know everyone’s names. Perk of being a Lord of Hell.” He turned to the side and held an arm out to gesture inside the house. “Please, after you.”
Holidays Bite: A Limited Edition Collection of Winter Holiday Vampire Tales Page 9
