by Margaret Kay
The Sisters of Mercy shelter was full. In the basement cots were set up for the single men, leaving these dormitory-style rooms for women, children, and families only. She had one of the smallest of the rooms, tucked in the farthest corner. She didn’t mind. It was quiet there, and she didn’t need much space.
Upon reaching her door, she unlocked it and hurried into the eight by eight space. She sat cross-legged on the twin-sized bed that was covered with a dark blue blanket. She tore open the letter.
My Dearest Elizabeth,
I have prayed for you daily since your departure. I have missed you, your enthusiasm, and your smile. But I understand your decision to leave. I’ve prayed on your request and have supplied the information you requested below.
Elizabeth skipped the remainder of the written letter and scanned to the bottom of the page. It was there. Her heart seized up for a moment. She knew she had to act on it. That was why she had written Sister Bernice John to begin with. She banished from her mind all thoughts of not doing it.
She went to the tiny dresser of drawers and pulled the small jar from under her clothes. She opened it and dumped the cash on the bed. She recounted it. She knew she could make the missing amount in tips at the diner over the few days following Christmas if she picked up double shifts. Now that she had the information, she knew she had to act fast on it.
Then she grabbed the notebook from the top of the dresser and shuffled through the Continuing Education requirements from the state again. She’d only completed two units since she’d been back from Africa. There were so many credits needed to reinstate her nursing license, not that Sister Abigale, the doctor in the Sisters of Mercy Free Clinic, cared if she was licensed or not. She appreciated the advanced skills that Elizabeth had.
Elizabeth tucked the letter in the notebook. She’d finish reading it later. She dropped to her knees in front of her bed and clasped her hands in prayer. “Dear Heavenly Father, please let my plans be the correct path, your path. I am trying to do the right thing in your eyes, but I know I fall short. I pray to you, God, please bring my heart peace. I pray in the name of your son, Jesus Christ, my savior. Amen.”
She spent the next two hours working the dinner line, serving those who came to the shelter for the free Christmas dinner. There were many regulars she recognized. She greeted all with a warm smile if she knew them or not. She worked beside Sisters, residents, and volunteers.
“Sister Elizabeth, can you help me get another pan of the ham?” Sister Mary Theresa asked. “Oh, I’m sorry. I keep doing that.”
Elizabeth embraced her. “Sister, it is fine. There is no apology needed.” The two women went through the swinging doors into the kitchen. Lined up on the counter were several large tinfoil trays of food. After all the others were fed, Elizabeth would get a plate for herself.
“I do not mean to pry Elizabeth, but why did you leave the order? You seem the same, you do the same things the rest of us do.”
“I know you may not be able to understand, Sister, but it is not my calling. I thought it was, but I was mistaken. Clarity came to me while I served in Africa.”
“You still wear your wedding band,” Sister Mary Theresa pointed out.
“This no longer signifies I’m married to God. I married a man while I was in Africa. Perhaps I shouldn’t wear this particular ring though.” She slipped it from her finger and pushed it into her jeans pocket.
“I don’t understand. You married someone but you are not with him?”
“It’s complicated,” Elizabeth confessed. “We are from different worlds. That’s all I can say to explain it.” She took hold of the tray and carried it back through to the dining area.
Later that night, the Christmas Mass was wonderful. The sanctuary was packed. Even though Elizabeth enjoyed it, she couldn’t keep her mind from straying to thoughts about Alexander. She thought of him daily, prayed for his safety, and longed to hear from him. He knew where she was. If he wanted to get in touch with her, he could. Even though he had been clear when they parted that he wanted nothing to do with her, she still hoped he would change his mind.
Tonight, on this holy night, she prayed that he was safe and with people he cared about, people who cared about him. She knew the work he did was dangerous. She prayed he was still alive. Even that she couldn’t be sure of.
She stood with the choir and sang the Christmas songs she knew and loved. The song, Silent Night, always made her cry. Tonight, was no different, except this year, thoughts of Alexander, and her wish that he had a calm and peaceful night made her cry harder than ever. She prayed he would sleep well tonight, wherever he was.
The Christmas holiday gave a much-needed break to most of the Shepherd Security team members. The office was decorated, presents were wrapped and placed under the Christmas Tree in the rec room. The majority of the gifts were for baby Sammy in anticipation of the little boy’s first Christmas.
A buffet-style meal was catered in. Charlie Team even took a break from the Power Grid Project and came into the office for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Lambchop held a special midnight service, attended by all. It was followed by the gift exchange.
Doc knew he was under scrutiny. He did everything he could to participate. He bought gifts, opened his and smiled, gave thanks, and threw out sarcastic barbs where appropriate. His thoughts drifted to Elizabeth more than a few times, wondering if she had anyone to spend this holiday with.
For the first time, Doc thought about the Christmases missed with his own son, who’d never had a chance at life. Holding Sammy in his arms, he paced away from the others and stared out into the darkness as tears gathered in his eyes. His gaze wandered over the little boy’s features, wondering if his own son would have had dark hair like Victoria or if he would have been blonde as he had been as a child.
Angel came over a few minutes later. She saw the moisture in Doc’s eyes. “I know something has bothered you for a few months. If I can help in any way, I’d like to.”
Doc swallowed hard. If only. He blinked the unshed tears away. “Thanks, Angel. I appreciate that.” He placed a kiss on Sammy’s forehead and held him up over his shoulder. “I think this is just what I need. For being up so late, he’s doing great. You and Jackson are lucky. Don’t ever allow yourselves to lose sight of what you have.”
Angel rested her hand on Doc’s shoulder. She wished she could help him. It was obvious to her that something was really bothering him. He’d never held Sammy so tightly to himself. “We won’t. I promise. Jackson and Sammy are my world.”
Doc smiled. Angel was something special, the way she fit into the team, the relationship she had with Shepherd, the love she shared with Jackson. He felt bad for being down on Jackson for having the relationship with her in the beginning. He supported Jackson being fired back then. What a fool he had been. Jackson proved himself a hundred times over from the very beginning, taking a shot at the man who held a gun to Angel’s head, knowing he could have killed her had she even flinched. Jackson had more guts than he did.
“It shows. You are a great wife to Jackson and an even better mother to this little boy. Jackson is one lucky man.”
Angel rose on tiptoes and placed a chaste kiss on Doc’s cheek. “I know you talk with Lassiter, but if you ever want a woman’s perspective let me know.” She smiled wide.
Doc smirked. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Jackson has been worried about you since Africa. The whole team has. Something changed you, Doc. You know what I went through and how long it took me to be okay. Don’t let anyone here tell you there is a timetable. There isn’t. Just because Shepherd carried on with what others saw as little fuss, doesn’t mean he wasn’t dealing with the same issues I was. He just hid it better than I did. If holding Sammy helps you, then do it as often as you need. And if you aren’t ready to adhere to anyone’s timetable tell them to go fuck themselves. Whatever it is, it’s yours, not anyone else’s. Take the time you need.”
Doc choked up. Ange
l did understand, probably better than the rest of his team. “Thanks, Angel. Yeah, let me hold on to Sammy a while longer. He’s almost asleep.”
Angel nodded and returned to the noisy, active area of the room. Doc remained in the dark corner feeling more at peace than he had in months.
Kilo
Elizabeth readjusted her backpack on her shoulders. The right strap needed to be tightened. It had loosened up, and it kept slipping down her arm. She read the gold lettering on the black door in front of her. Shepherd Security. Her destination. Would Alexander be there? Would he talk with her? Now that she was standing here, she was afraid he would not.
Sister Bernice John had been so kind to her, both during her time with the Sisters in Africa and in the letter, she received just over a week earlier, giving her this location. It had taken a month to receive the letter back. She wished she could talk with Sister Bernice John in person and tell her everything. The friendships she had formed with the Sisters while in Africa was something she dearly missed now, being part of that family. Working at the clinic now was different even though it was also run by the Sisters. Or maybe it was because she was no longer a Sister. She was no longer one of them.
She took a deep breath and pulled the door open. She stepped inside the waiting room. The reception desk was empty. She checked her watch. It was four p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. Certainly, the office wasn’t closed. She approached the glass window and peered through it. Just then a pretty, black-haired woman appeared, who she recognized as Angel from Sister Bernice John’s photos of her daughter.
“Hi, may I help you?” Angel asked, her voice coming through a speaker. She hadn’t slid the glass open.
Elizabeth smiled at her. “You’re Angel. I would recognize you anywhere. I’m a friend of your mother, Sister Bernice John. My name is Elizabeth. I was with your mom in Africa.”
Angel’s eyes went wide in surprise. Yes, she knew who Elizabeth was, and she knew there was a history with Doc. She and everyone else on the team suspected Doc, and this woman had shared something that rocked Doc to his core when they were hiding out and captured. Doc had not been the same since he returned from that mission. Everyone at Shepherd Security knew that.
“Sister Elizabeth,” Angel said with a surprised smile. “Is everything okay with my mom?”
Elizabeth noted that Angel still had not slid the glass open. Nor had she moved to the door to let her in. “It’s just Elizabeth. I’m no longer a Sister. I left the order. And I assume that your mother is just fine. I received a letter from her last week and all seemed well.”
“Okay,” Angel said, seeming more confused. “I’m sorry, one moment please.” Angel lifted her cell phone from the desk, hit dial, and brought it to her ear.
“Shepherd.”
“I have a woman claiming to be Sister Elizabeth from Africa standing in the outer office.”
“Hold while I bring Ops in.” There was a pause. “Why am I contacting you and not the other way around?” Shepherd barked when Yvette came on the line. He switched his monitor over to the camera view to display the young woman who stood before the glass partition.
“We are running a threat assessment now,” Yvette replied. “I just accessed footage with Sister Elizabeth on it. Facial recognition is running.” There was a chime. “Got a positive result, but we may want to deploy someone who was on that mission to the lobby to validate.”
Shepherd clicked into the team calendar. Miller, Cooper, Jackson, and Doc were all in the office. He knew that Delta team had just returned from an Op. They had entered the building from the private underground parking garage. They were still in the Team Room stowing their gear. He added Cooper to the call. “Coop, there is a visitor that needs validating in the lobby.”
“I’m on my way,” Cooper replied. He ended the call and glanced at Madison, who sat beside him on the couch in his office. “Shepherd needs me to validate a visitor.”
“That’s cryptic,” Madison replied. She rose as well and followed him from the room.
“It’ll be just a moment,” Angel said through the speaker to Elizabeth.
Elizabeth was even more confused. She hadn’t asked to see Alexander. She had merely greeted Angel. She felt more anxious about this now. Just then, Cooper and Madison appeared beside Angel. She smiled warmly in recognition.
They both returned her smile before moving out of view. The inner door was then opened.
“Elizabeth,” Madison greeted. “How are you?”
Elizabeth was relieved by Madison’s warm greeting and hug. Cooper gave her a quick embrace when Madison released her. Her raw nerves calmed until she saw the pistols holstered on both of their belts. Why would they be carrying guns in the office?
Several thoughts shot through her mind. Madison had been kind to her, which she would never forget. Remembering that helped to calm her nerves. They had all been armed in Africa, even the pastor, she reminded herself. She had the loaner clothes in her backpack to return. She didn’t have the money they had lent her. She only had enough in her wallet to make it back to Seattle.
“What are you doing here? And how did you find us?” Cooper asked as he ushered her within the inner office.
Angel came up to her and gave her a hug as well. “It is nice to meet you, Elizabeth. My mom has spoken of you. She really misses you.”
Elizabeth let out a nervous sigh accompanying a big smile. “I love your mother and I miss her and the other Sisters very much.” She turned her attention back to Cooper. “It was Sister Bernice John who told me where to find you. I must speak with Alexander. It’s important.”
Madison and Cooper exchanged looks. This was a huge breach in their security. They couldn’t believe Angel’s mom would have given their location out. This would have to be addressed.
“Sister Bernice John knows what this is about. I promise you it is important, important enough for her to risk her daughter by telling me where to find you. Please, is Alexander here and may I speak with him?” Elizabeth pressed, her voice tense.
Cooper’s phone chirped. “One moment,” he said before answering his phone. As expected, it was Shepherd. “Yes, identity is confirmed.”
“What is she doing here and how did she find us?” Shepherd demanded.
“I’ll report in person shortly,” Cooper said. He knew something had happened that had completely changed Doc. The man was not himself, hadn’t been since Africa. He dialed Doc. “Report to the kitchen on five. It’s not a medical.”
“On my way,” Doc replied.
“Please, come with me,” Cooper said, motioning to Elizabeth to follow him.
Madison came up beside him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Nope, but I don’t think he should be told she’s here either.”
Elizabeth heard them whisper but couldn’t make out what they said as she followed the short distance into the kitchen. Angel followed behind her.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee or tea?” Angel offered.
“No thank you. I am fine,” Elizabeth replied politely. Her eyes met Cooper’s. “Is he on his way now?”
“Yes,” Cooper said, watching her closely. She was nervous. That was obvious.
“Thank you,” she said robotically, saying what was appropriate. She shrugged off her heavy backpack and sat it on one of the chairs, but she left her thin winter coat on. She nervously glanced around the room as they waited.
Cooper stood near the door. He was all Doc saw as he came down the hall. “Hey, what’s up?”
Cooper motioned him into the kitchen.
He stopped dead when his eyes landed on Elizabeth.
“You have a visitor,” Cooper said.
“Elizabeth, are you all right?”
“Hello Alexander,” she greeted softly, her apprehension tripling by being in the same room with him.
“I asked you if you are okay,” he repeated.
Elizabeth’s eyes swept over the others. “May I have a moment alone with Alexander, pl
ease?”
“Of course,” Madison answered. She followed Angel and Cooper from the room and closed the door to give them privacy.
“What do you think that’s about?” Angel asked.
Both Cooper and Madison shook their heads. They didn’t have a clue either. It couldn’t be good, that was clear. Elizabeth looked frightened and nervous. Doc looked like a deer in the headlights, and not happy about it.
Doc and Elizabeth stood awkwardly staring at each other for several long seconds before he spoke. “Elizabeth, what are you doing here?”
