by Margaret Kay
“Yeah, I don’t need any of your gang-brothers showing up at my house, and mostly Elizabeth doesn’t need that.”
“I’d never do anything to hurt Elizabeth, man. Haven’t you been listening to a fucking thing I’ve said?”
Doc handed a piece of paper across the table. It was a secure mailing PO Box address in DC that would automatically redirect letters to HQ, without anyone knowing it. “You may write Elizabeth at that address.”
Tango
Doc’s flight from Washington didn’t arrive at O’Hare until nearly twenty-three hundred. Doc was beat. He had a hard time falling asleep though. He would have the conversation he was dreading with Elizabeth in the morning. He held her close, listening to her even breaths. He was sure she wouldn’t understand his visit with her brother.
Shepherd knew he’d be in late the next morning. He still set the alarm at the normal time. When it went off, he dragged himself from the bed and stood under the hot downpour in the shower, trying to wake up. He brought Elizabeth a cup of herbal tea but made himself a cup of caffeinated coffee to try to wake himself up.
After they ate breakfast, he took hold of her hands. “I need to talk with you about something.”
“What?” She sensed something was wrong.
“I went to the Washington State Penitentiary and met your brother yesterday.”
“What?” She repeated. “You met Bobby?”
“Yes, before I could let him read your letter, I had to meet him.”
“My letter?” She asked, even more confused.
“I read your letter, Elizabeth. It was redacted so that our address and your phone number were removed, as well as a few other areas that were not appropriate details to share with him.”
“Why?”
“He’s a member of the Aryan Brotherhood, Elizabeth. Do you even understand how bad of a gang that is? I need you to understand that if he wanted to, he could send them after us.”
“Send them after us? My brother would never do that.”
“He’s a career criminal and a card-carrying member of a very real, very bad gang. I had no idea of what he would or wouldn’t do and I wasn’t going to risk it.”
“He’s my brother! And you had no right to read my mail!”
“Stop and listen for a moment.”
“He’s my brother, Alexander. Do you understand? My brother!” She screamed.
“Victoria, just stop!” Doc blurted. Elizabeth’s stunned expression slapped him across the face.
“Victoria?” She repeated.
“Elizabeth, honey, I’m sorry.”
“Who is Victoria,” her small voice asked.
Doc felt a churning in the pit of his stomach. This wasn’t the way he wanted to do this. He pointed to the couch. “Let’s sit.”
She didn’t move. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him with that hurt expression on her face.
He stepped into her and took both her hands in his. “Please come sit down with me. It’s time I told you why I pushed you away when we left Africa.”
Elizabeth let him lead her to the couch. Doc made sure they sat close together, facing each other.
“I was married a long time ago. Victoria was my wife,” he began. Elizabeth looked stunned. She’d never asked, so technically he hadn’t lied about it.
“I see. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re divorced.”
“Not divorced, widowed.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking more shocked than when he’d called her Victoria.
“I haven’t had one serious relationship since,” Doc confessed. “Until recently, I blamed myself.”
“How did she die?” Elizabeth asked after a long silence.
“She stuck a gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger.”
“Oh, dear Lord,” Elizabeth gasped. “Did you find her?”
“No, some poor cop doing a well-being check did. I was in the Middle East on active duty with the Rangers. I was a medic and I was seeing way more death than any person should.”
“Why did she do it?” Elizabeth asked. She saw tears in Alexander’s eyes.
“Six months earlier the car she was driving was hit by a drunk driver. She was six months pregnant with our son. The baby didn’t make it. She nearly didn’t either. I thought she was seeing a counselor. She was supposed to, but she didn’t. She slipped into a deep depression. I only saw it in hindsight. She was alone, dealing with it. I wasn’t there for her. I stayed in the Middle East when I didn’t have to because I couldn’t bear the thought of going home. I thought I’d dealt with it, my feelings, the grief, and self-blame, but I hadn’t. I buried it and pushed it out of my thoughts. But after I was with you, it came back, and sucker punched me in the gut. We said vows to each other, much like the ones I said to Victoria. That’s what started it. By the time I said goodbye to you at Andrews Air Force base, I had so many twisted dark thoughts running through my head.”
“Do I remind you of her?”
Doc cackled out a burst of sarcastic laughter. “Not in the least. You couldn’t be any more different. Which is good.”
“Did you love her?”
“Before I went to the Sandbox, I did with all my heart. I was young, just a few years older than you are now. Where I was, had very active fighting. The wounded never stopped coming and there was so much death. Little kids carried bombs up to our troops. Their parents detonated them, killing their own children to take as many of us out as they could. I’d been a paramedic in Houston and saw more than my fair share of violence and hate, but I’d never seen hate like I did over in the Sandbox. The whole place made no sense. Even before the car accident, I know I’d changed. And after it, I poured everything into my work, trying to save those I could, because I couldn’t save Daniel. That’s what we were going to name him, after my father. After Victoria took her own life, I felt numb to all of it, to all the death. I signed up for several more tours over there. When I came back, I did several rotations at various bases until Shepherd recruited me.”
“I’m sorry saying those vows to me did that to you,” Elizabeth said after a few quiet moments.
“I’m not. I needed to deal with it. We have a team shrink, Joe Lassiter. He’s been helping me finally deal with Victoria and our unborn child’s deaths. Well, he’s been trying to, but I’ve been a pain in the ass. It all hit me really hard after Africa and I was just starting to get my head on straight when you came back into my life.”
“I would never have guessed any of this. You’ve been a Godsend, Alexander, in Africa and since I told you I was pregnant.”
“I’m really sorry I left you the way I did. I haven’t been with anyone since you and I made love in Africa. I tried to convince myself those vows meant nothing and that we had no relationship. That too ate at me the last few months. I wasn’t anyone you would have wanted to be with since Africa.”
“What changed? You’ve been so good to me since I’ve been here.”
“I didn’t want to screw it up a second time with you. You deserved better from me and after you told me you were pregnant; I knew I had to try to make it right. Plus, to be honest, I couldn’t bear the thought of not being there for my baby. I already lost one. I couldn’t lose another.”
Elizabeth leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly. Her heart broke for him, for what he’d endured. No parent should ever lose a child, born or unborn. He was a strong man who had suffered in silence and alone for many years. She knew in that moment that she loved him.
“That’s why I had to meet Bobby, to be sure he wasn’t a threat to you. I don’t care if the Aryan Brotherhood takes me out, but damn-it Elizabeth, I’d never be right again if anything ever happened to you and our child.”
“It’s okay. I won’t communicate with Bobby if you don’t want me to.”
“I gave him a special address that will reroute his letters to HQ. It’s not traceable. For now, no phone calls though.”
Elizabeth n
odded. “It’ll be a month or more before he gets his phone privileges back, anyway. He got into a fight and hurt someone.”
Doc nodded. Yeah, Bobby had beat the shit out of a rival gang-member, putting the man into a coma. “We do this together, Elizabeth. You don’t give anyone information on us without telling me. It’s to keep us safe.”
“I won’t give him our address or tell him anything about our life. I understand.” She embraced him again and held him tightly.
The next morning, Thursday, Doc felt a level of excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time. He had the morning off work for their first prenatal checkup with the obstetrician. He was sure they would be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat and he couldn’t wait to see the sonogram.
Elizabeth felt a strong connection to Alexander, now that she knew about his past, about the loss of his wife and unborn child. A lot more made sense to her now, even his visit with Bobby. She was glad she knew about it prior to this appointment. They held hands in the doctor’s waiting room. It was a fancy office, quite different than the free clinic where she’d taken the pregnancy test and talked with Sister Abigale.
“Mrs. and Mr. Williams,” the nurse called from the doorway.
Elizabeth smiled at the sound of it. She still needed to get her ID changed to the name Williams. Alexander pulled her to her feet. They followed the nurse through the door. After getting her weight and her vitals, the nurse left, promising the doctor would be right in.
Dr. Norman came in five minutes later. He was a bald man, with a gray mustache and goatee on his round face. He was in his mid-fifties. He had an easy smile and a calm demeanor. He shook both their hands and congratulated them on their pregnancy. Then, he spoke with them about the pregnancy, their expectations, and asked them what was important to them.
Doc could see why Jackson and Angel liked the man.
“Do you want to take a look at the little bugger?” Dr. Norman said with a smile, motioning Elizabeth to the exam table. “Let’s do the sonogram before I examine you. I find that putting the main event first makes everything else we have to do today easier for the mom-to-be.”
The image was clear and incredible. Their baby was on the screen and captured in pictures. The fast washing machine sound that was indicative of a healthy fetal heartbeat broadcast over the speakers. Even though Elizabeth had seen it and heard it before when working at the free clinic, seeing her baby and hearing her baby’s heartbeat was overwhelming. Tears of joy flooded her eyes. She glanced at Alexander. He was similarly affected. Her heart swelled in her chest, knowing he’d never had this experience when his first wife had been pregnant with his son.
“Do you want to know the gender?” Dr. Norman asked. “It’s a simple blood test on the mother’s blood and we’re taking some today. You’ll know next week, if you want to.”
Elizabeth’s eyes focused on Alexander’s. They still hadn’t discussed if they wanted to know or not.
“Run the test. We can decide when you have the results,” Doc said, seeing the uncertainty in Elizabeth’s eyes. This was something they needed to discuss. The decision should not be made spur of the moment like this.
Alexander kissed Elizabeth’s knuckles; her hand clutched in his. They stopped for lunch after her OB appointment on the way to the office. She was training with Angel today for the afternoon. After today, she should be ready to fill in the next day Angel needed off. She liked working at the office and would be able to do her homework there too. She felt good about the classes. Her life was meaningful and full of purpose. She was excited for the future.
Her cell phone buzzed a text message. Angel. “What time are you and Doc getting in?”
She tapped out her reply. “Within the hour. We just stopped for a quick lunch.” Her eyes met Alexander’s. She smiled. She marveled how she felt comfortable with everything about her life with him in just the few short weeks they’d been together. “Have I told you how much I like my life with you?”
Doc smiled. His heart was full. “No, but you can’t like it any more than I do. I’m glad you’re here, Elizabeth. It feels right in every way.”
Her smile widened. He noticed that she actually glowed. He was glad they had had the discussion about Victoria and Daniel. It wasn’t the way he would have liked for it to come out, but it was out now, and that was all that mattered. Things felt very comfortable with her and he realized he hadn’t thought about the age difference in weeks.
“So, do you want to know the gender?” Doc asked her.
She took a bite of her sandwich. “I don’t know. Do you?” A part of her wanted to do it opposite of how he had the first time. And a part of her prayed it would be a girl so it would be different than when his first wife was pregnant with a boy.
“I don’t know,” Doc admitted.
“But you had wanted to know when Victoria was pregnant?”
“No, the sonogram clearly showed a stem on the apple. We weren’t going to find out, but it was obvious.”
She thought about it for a second. “Well, Angel said it made it easy planning and shopping for things, knowing Sammy was a boy. There aren’t a lot of gender-neutral things. I guess it would make sense to know to buy the appropriate clothes and bedding.”
“And to think about names,” Doc added. “Have you thought about names at all?”
Elizabeth shook her head no. “Before I came here to tell you, I didn’t even allow myself to wonder if it was a boy or a girl, but ever since, that’s all I’ve thought about.”
“Then I think we should find out,” Doc said, but the truth was, he would be fine with whatever her choice was.
Saturday morning, Elizabeth gave Alexander a kiss goodbye as he went out the door, heading to the office. Madison would be there in an hour to pick her up for the spa day. She was a bit nervous about it, even though she had confided in Angel that she had never had any of the services they would enjoy. Angel explained how they did everything and assured her it would be fun.
After they checked in, they were sent to the locker room to hang their clothes for the evening out and to change into wraps and robes. Then they were each whisked into separate treatment rooms. Facials and full body massages were the first services. Ninety minutes later when Elizabeth rejoined the others, feet in the pedicure bowl, she felt incredibly relaxed. Every inch of her skin felt soft and the warm oil they used to massage her was infused with a light, fresh scent.
She chose a pale gold for her nail color to match the dress Angel had lent her to wear to dinner. Madison’s nails, both toes and fingers, were painted bright red. Sienna went with a sparkly purple on her toes and a French Manicure on her fingers, citing the need to keep her hands toned down for school. Angel had both sets of hers, painted a royal sparkling blue.
In between the pedicures and manicures, they were treated to lunch on couches in the waterfall room, a serene space with waterfalls on three of the four walls. Madison hadn’t been kidding when she raved about the finger sandwiches. Elizabeth devoured so many she was stuffed. Elizabeth took one sip of the champagne during a toast to her and the baby, but the other ladies drank it freely.
After their manicures, the four of them moved into the hairdresser’s chairs. Elizabeth hadn’t thought about having anything done. She’d only planned to trim the ends. Her hair though, became the topic of discussion between her friends and her hair stylist.
“Highlights, definitely highlights,” the stylist said. “And you should think about cutting off about twelve inches. The bottom half is thin, and your hair is not thick to begin with. Cutting it will make it look fuller and healthier.”
“You think I need to cut twelve inches off?” Elizabeth demanded.
“I think it will look great,” the stylist said. “Combined with the highlights, it will give you a new look, a more mature look. It will bring it to about here.” She held her comb up to just above Elizabeth’s breast.
“I don’t want that much of my hair cut off,” Elizabeth complained.
“Twelve inches can be donated to Locks of Love,” Sienna chimed in. “It could really help a child who has lost their hair from a medical condition.”
“I think it will look great shorter,” Angel said. “And it will be easier to take care of which will really matter once the baby comes.”
Madison shrugged. “I wish I could go shorter, but these curls are even wilder without the weight.”
Elizabeth thought about it for a few seconds. The stylist showed her a picture of what she had in mind. The model did look great. Her hair was styled just so, and the blond highlights created a beautiful effect, one that Elizabeth would never have dreamed she could pull off.
“Sure, let’s do it,” she said bravely.
