by Ko Hiratori
A few days later, I regretted going along with Haru’s plan so easily.
Apparently we needed a huge tree for Krissmiss. She took me to a snowy mountain and said, “I’d like to cut this one down.”
“Umm...are we building a house?”
“No! Lupe, you’re hilarious.” Haru, wearing the mittens I knit for her, spread her arms wide as she said, “We’re going to stand this up right in the middle of the shop and decorate it! At the very top we’ll put a star!”
I looked up at the tree Haru was trying to take home. It seemed tall enough to reach the stars. I thought Haru was the hilarious one.
“I can’t see any way this would fit in the shop.”
When I pointed out that the two of us wouldn’t be able to carry it, she got discouraged and said, “Oh...”
“So is Krissmiss about decorating a tree?”
“Yeah, but you also make the area around the tree all sparkly, like really cute.”
“You can’t use a smaller one?”
“You can, but a bigger one is more fun.”
Hmm.I didn’t really understand what she was trying to accomplish. But she seemed to be looking forward to it, so I had to think of a solution.
“Oh. I have a customer who’s studying alphytemy. He says he has lots of trees at his house, so maybe he’ll let us borrow one.”
“No way, that’s awesome! Let’s do that!”
So we left the mountain and went to my customer’s house. He listened to anything I said, so I knew he would lend us whatever we wanted.
We borrowed a cart, and the two of us took a tree back to the shop. It was a little heavy, but Haru was feeling good. She said that when you’re starting something fun even the prep is fun, and that she had been prepping for some kind of local “school festival” before she came here. But apparently she moved before the festival started. Maybe that’s why she always wants to do things with everyone here.
“Are you okay, Lupe? It’s not too heavy?”
I answered that I was fine pushing from behind. When I lived at home I used to help my father with his work moving hay. I was in charge of the sheep and was good at praising, scolding, and generally getting them to listen to me. If my parents hadn’t sold me to pay off their debts, I probably would’ve been a shepherd’s wife.
“Thanks for always going along with my projects. You’re really nice, Lupe!”
The day I was sold, my mom told me I should smile because I had nothing. When I was crying, she taught me that the only way to be happy was to smile. Her hands were chapped, and it hurt a bit when she caressed my cheek.
“That’s not true!”
“Yeah, it is! You’re really like a mama!”
It’s easier for me to smile when the people around me are smiling. I only pretend to be nice because it’s impossible for me to smile by myself.
I’m not nice at all. And I hate my mom now. I didn’t want to be the type of mama who would tell people to smile even though I was crying myself.
“Oh, right. And we need to go to Sumo’s. There’s a critical item I need to ask him for.”
I had never told that to Haru, though.
After that Haru said she was going to go meet with Sumo, but I didn’t have the stamina for it, so I stayed back.
I stretched my legs out on my bed and thought, sometimes nodding off.WhatisKrissmiss, anyhow? Do you make the inside of your house into a forest and eat tasty food? What a weird event.I could see why Haru would like it.
Oh, right.I remembered something and got out my knitting kit. She had asked me to make a red, triangular hat.
When I opened the box, some gloves I had unraveled came out. They were my old gloves, and I was going to reknit them into socks for my little brother, but I stopped. At the time, I had thought I would be in the village the next year.
He’s probably big enough now that he can’t even wear socks this size.
I wonder what kind of boy he became.
On one of our days off a few days later, we borrowed the shop to hold a “Krissmiss Party.”
Even though the shop was closed, we invited some regulars and served food and drink. The atmosphere was surprisingly festive.
The tree we carried over was decorated all sparkly. There was even a star on top.
“Okay, everyone. All together now: Merry Christmas!”
Haru went around spreading merriment with something like tree branches standing on her head and a red berry on her nose.
Madam looked slightly annoyed, and Sumo, who I think provided all the food free of charge, didn’t seem upset to be wearing a matching nose and branches—though he did look sort of tired.
But eventually, Haru’s energy got everyone in a party mood. Madam was talking with the customers about how she hadn’t used her special dishes like this in a long time. Sumo’s cake was popular with the girls, and he was blushing from all their attention.
Haru’s an odd one. Sometimes she doesn’t know the sort of things that everybody knows, but other times she’ll suddenly say something that no one else has ever even thought of. There’s something unique about her.
I never imagined a girl like that would be a match for this kind of work, so I decided to teach her all sorts of things so that she wouldn’t be totally helpless if she ever ran away.
But whenever Haru fails at something, even if she gets upset, she’s ready to try again immediately; she’ll never be the one to quit. I think her guts are a bit insane, actually.
How can she keep trying like that? It’s hard for me to understand.
“Lupe, do you have a sec?”
Haru snuck up on me and then held out a parcel she’d been carrying behind her back. When I opened it, there was all sorts of yarn inside, the colors as varied as the Krissmiss tree.
“Merry Christmas! Today is a day to give presents to the people who are special to you!”
“What? It is? That’s what Krissmiss is?”
“Yeah, it’s the main thing.”
“You never told me that! I didn’t get anything for you.”
“Eh-heh-heh. Sorry, I forgot.”
That was definitely a lie. She kept quiet to surprise me.
“Thanks for everything. It’s because of you that I can survive in this job, Lupe.”
She looked so shy that I blushed, too.Agh, you got me.“Next time we’llexchangepresents, okay?”
Haru said, “Got it,” with a smile.
I mean it!
“Okay, of course I have presents for everyone! And the present-er is none other than Mr. Christmas himself, Santa Claaaaaau—”
“Waaaaaagh!”
Someone suddenly fell into the fireplace and then came flying out crying, “It burrrrrns!”
It was Mr. Chiba, looking even redder than usual.
“Hey, Chiba. You idiot, the presents are on fire. What the hell! Kiyori nearly killed herself baking those 500 cookies.”
“No, for starters, why is the fireplace lit?! Santa’ll die in a fire!”
“It’s winter, so yeah, we light it. But geez, just come through the door like normal! I’ve never seen a Santa actually come down through the chimney! This is why you’ve never been invited to a Christmas party!”
“I have one every year! With my family! I just didn’t go to the ones kids in our class had because I was too above them.”
I didn’t really get it, but the usual argument had begun.These two get along so well.
Chiba had burned the red hat I made, and his socks were a holey mess—maybe from scraping along the chimney? I really don’t get what he was trying to accomplish.
“Uh, huh? I’m sorry, Mama...”
Maybe because I was watching him so intently, he thought I was angry with him (even though I wasn’t really at all), and he dropped to his knees to prostrate himself right there.
Haru and Kiyori asked me to train him, but it’s working a little too well. He was like my little brother when I scolded him too much, so it made things awkward for me, too.<
br />
“It’s fine. I’ll knit you some new socks, so take care of them.”
“Yay!”
“Lupe, you’re too nice to him!”
Blue Cat Nocturne was closed that day, but it was even more lively than usual. Everyone seemed content and was in the mood to make others happy.
I even thought about maybe writing to my mother to tell her I celebrated Krissmiss with my friends.
Book Store Bonus Paper: Rejected Version
I really love my boyfriend, but lately it seems like he’s too obsessed with soccer to pay much attention to me. I tell him I’ll cheat, but then he says,Don’t, and kisses me, which works to gloss it over. What a sly move.
I’m busy, too, with the school festival coming up, so I dunno what his excuse is. I have my on-stage presentation, plus I’m class rep for the Miss JK Contest, and we want to win both.
It’s fun to stay after school with everyone to prep for everything, but apparently the soccer team has to get ready for a tournament, so they’re exempt from festival prep. That means my boyfriend has no idea what a good time it is. I guess that’s why lately our conversations seem to only go one way, or like, we can’t find any shared topics to discuss.
That feels like a pretty big problem to me, but he doesn’t even seem to notice, which makes the whole thing worse.
I laid my tired head down on my open notebook.
“You’ve been working on something, but what is it? Did we have homework or something?”
Ayaka in the seat in front of me grabbed a long piece of my hair as she messed with her phone.
“I’m writing my Miss JK essay. I have to do a self-introduction, too.”
“Are you serious? I’m pretty sure that’s a total joke contest now. The class next door is sending a guy.”
“Huh? Why would a guy be a contestant for Miss JK?”
“Well, the teachers were all talking about how the contest was just about the girls’ looks or whatever, so this year they want a cross-dressed boy to really get the festival mood going.”
“What the hell? I didn’t know about that when I was nominated. Why do I have to be in this contest if it’s just in there as a dash of entertainment?”
If it’s Miss JK, we should compete for who is cutest!
Even if it had turned into a gag contest, I felt like I could still compete, but I just didn’t want to.
“Who’s our class rep? It must be their fault.”
“I dunno, but maybe one of those kids?”
Ayaka drew a pointing circle around a group in the corner of the classroom. The kids over there were getting really into a game of cards or something dumb like that.
I had talked to them a few times, but even when I smiled they never looked me in the eye. I had the feeling they were avoiding me.
“I can’t. Could you go talk to them for me, Ayaka?”
“Why? Go yourself.”
Phoo. I don’t care anymore. I’ll just cancel day-of. I only wanna do fun stuff during the school festival.
“Haru, this cracks me up. What do you mean ‘My strength: I have guts’? I’ve sure never seen ’em.”
“Shaddup.” I crumpled up my partially written intro to make it disappear.My weakness: I have a short temper.
“So, Haru. I want to get a boyfriend by the time the festival starts.”
“What does that have to do with me? Go ahead.”
“But I want to do it with the least possible effort.”
Ayaka, currently on the lookout for love, pushed her hair back and sighed conspicuously. She had her eyes on Saito, who was standing with a ring of boys.
He wasn’t paying any attention to us at all, so Ayaka heaved a genuine sigh next.
Saito didn’t usually stand out at all, but he was great at sports, so he made a splash at the sports festival and the girls had been talking about him all summer.
“Really?”
When I asked her that, she got a vague grin on her face and said, “I wouldn’t mind going out withhim.”Is that right? Huh.“Plus it’d be nice to have a boy to go around the festival with.”
“I get it. My guy seems ready to totally ignore the festival.”
“Dump him, dump him. Look for a new one with me.”
“Uh, err, sorry... Do you guys have a minute?” One of the card-game boys came over to us, but at that exact moment I got a LINE notification.
Right before I thought I would check it, I noticed Saito paying attention to us.
“I’m going to the bathroom.”
Ayaka, you told me not to run, but I don’t think I can read this in front of you.
*
I checked LINE in the stall.
I knew it—a message from Saito.
≪I heard from Chiba that we have to go shopping after school. You’re coming, too, right, Koyama?≫
Our class was also doing a haunted house. I figured that was for people who didn’t want too much attention—I just joined the shopping group since it would be mostly screwing around. I mean, it wasn’t like they were going to make girls carry heavy bags, so there was really nothing for me to do there.
≪ Let me out of it? ≫
≪ No can do, lol. We need all hands on deck! ≫
At the sports festival after-party, all the girls went together to get Saito’s LINE info. I got messages from him pretty often so I thought he was always pinging everybody, but later I found out it was only me.
Not too long ago, our class (minus a few people) went to hang out, and we ended up walking home together just the two of us. He even held my hand.
“I have a boyfriend.” I made sure to tell him then.
“I know,” he said with a nervous look on his face.
My soccer-player boyfriend had an away game. It was a refreshingly cool night. And there was something about Saito right then, cooler than when he was ultra popular after the sports festival, so I figured what the heck, it was just a hand; I could walk to the station like that.
That was all it was.
≪ I’ll carry everything, so no worries, lol. ≫
But maybe I shouldn’t have let him take my hand. I got carried away.
≪ By the way, would you wanna go to the school festival with me? ≫
I didn’t mind if people thought I was superficial, but being seen as easy pissed me off like it would anybody.
Still, not to copy Ayaka’s line, but I wanted to have a good time at the festival. Without my boyfriend, I would be kind of lonely.
I ignored Saito for the moment and pinged my boyfriend.
≪ Hey boyby. What are you up to today? ≫
He replied instantly with a soccer ball emoji.
*
It was me, Ayaka, Saito, and some other people I never really hung out with. There were even more people than I thought, so they really didn’t need me at all.
“Chief Chiba, what are we buying?”
“Poster paint and high-quality paper.”
“Huh? Where do they sell that stuff?”
“I’m a regular at an art supply shop near here...”
Saito was chatting with the boys, as someone in his executive role would do, but then he suddenly came between Ayaka and me where we were lagging in the back.
“Hilarious. Did you hear him say he’s a regular at an art supply shop?”
“What? That’s too funny!”
I hardly even knew what you would buy at an art supply shop, and I bet Ayaka had even less of a clue. But she smacked Saito’s shoulder and laughed. I went ahead and laughed too.
“They seem like they know what they’re doing. Why don’t we sneak away and go hang out somewhere?” Saito quietly invited just me and Ayaka.
Didn’t you say you were going to carry the bags?
“Ooh! Haru, what should we do?” Ayaka wanted to go.
I was kind of tired and over it all. Friends, boyfriends, popularity. I had it all, I had gotten used to it, and I was sick of it.
Which means, basically, that I wa
s a success at high school—quite a big one, considering how bad things were at the end of middle school. But I knew it would all fall apart if I made a single mistake, and part of me felt like being reckless and testing it.
For example, if I grabbed Saito’s hand and said,Let’s go, and we disappeared somewhere just the two of us, Ayaka would probably tell everyone that very second.
My boyfriend would show up in a panic, and I dunno what Saito would do, but I bet he would regret messing with me, and by the end of the school festival I would probably be alone.
But I got this surge of “but what does it matter?” feeling, and just wanted to be like,Grahhhhhh!like,I don’t care anymore! I can make a mess of it all and it won’t matter! High school is only three years! I’m pretty sure one of our teachers said there’s no reason to be too scared to do anything when you never know what will happen tomorrow. Even if it falls apart, you can just start over at some point. Stormy weather’s fine by me! I really just—
“Oh, right. I actually wanted to buy something at the art supply store. You two can go ahead.”
Of course I would never do something so stupid, though.Today and tomorrow will be the same as always. Of course it’s important to me.
Saito seemed disappointed as I watched Ayaka pull him away.You guys don’t have to come back today.
I pushed back my bangs, which had gotten too long, and opened LINE. I blocked Saito and opened the chat that was just me and my boyfriend.
The soccer ball annoyed me, but at least soccer was only with friends.As his girlfriend, I should be supportive.
≪ Practice your butt off (heart emoji). ≫
I wondered before I sent it if I should really put a heart even though I was upset, if I should say something about the school festival.
I had no idea I would regret being so unsure later.
“Koyama, watch out! Raaaaaaaaagh!”
A pimply kid was charging straight toward me.
Who’s this guy, again?
That was the last thing I thought in this world.
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