Luke had planned on another ten years, if not longer, before he retired. That was before the incident.
“Evan, to be honest with you, I actually don’t know what I want anymore,” he confessed. It felt good to say that to someone who would understand. Someone who would have his back either way.
“Well maybe that means you could keep an open mind. You don’t have to just go down one path because it’s the path you’ve been following your whole life. If you don’t know what you want, maybe now’s a chance to discover something new.”
“Like what, man? I’m thirty-five I feel like the time for deciding what I want to be when I grow up has passed.” Luke laughed, but there was nothing funny in what he said.
“Luke, you’ve already done what you wanted to do. You accomplished that. Bear that in mind.” Evan’s smile brightened. “I wanted to show people that I could be more than a kid from the poor side of town with no ambition. I did that when I finished my business degree. Did I run my own business? No, and I don’t plan to. But I did it and I proved my point, and I use what I can transfer to my work as a cop. I’m a detective and I enjoy what I do. But I still have that open mind.”
“So I should become a cop?” Luke joked.
“Oh Lord, man I can’t with you today,” Evan said, flicking his hand at him and laughing.
“I’m messing around. I know what you mean. I do, and I promise I will keep my mind open.”
“And become a cop,” Evan continued the joke.
“Yes, I could eat donuts all day like you.”
“Yes, you could. Doesn’t that sound great?”
Luke released a sigh, wondering if it could really be that simple.
Having an open mind.
He didn’t know.
Chapter 6
Natalie
* * *
Natalie rolled her eyes and held the phone away from her ear as her mother started talking about Avery.
Avery was Natalie’s youngest cousin. At twenty-six years old, she was not only getting married next fall, but she’d also been accepted as a junior associate with Carter and Sage, one of the top law firms in the country.
It was great for Avery. Natalie had always gotten on really well with her, and while they were family, they were also good friends who met up when they could. In fact, Natalie would expect a call from her to share this news herself. And she was certain Avery would be excited and not share it in a manner that suggested she was doing better in life than Natalie.
Not like Natalie’s mother had.
One hour. That was how long she’d been on the phone. One hour of listening to how proud her mother was of Avery, and how Avery really organized herself in the best way before she turned thirty, and how Avery was set for life with her own career and her soon-to-be husband who was a cardiothoracic surgeon.
“Natalie, are you there?” her mother was saying.
Natalie pressed the phone back to her ear and shuffled on the sofa. “Of course, sorry Mom, the line went a little funny.”
“Sweetie, I was saying that maybe it wouldn’t hurt if you took a step back and maybe got your law degree. You’d be older than the average junior, but we could help you get your foot through the door.”
God, here they went again.
Once again her financial experience counted for nothing, and that she worked for the Donovans meant even less, because both her parents believed that she’d been given the position she had now out of some loyalty to friendship. It could never be because of her skills and abilities.
And once again her mother had completely glossed over the fact that she had no desire to do law.
“I don’t want to do law, Mom,” she told her. They’d had this discussion many times before. In the beginning she was respectful of the suggestions, but as the years went by she just went straight to the point.
She heard her mother sigh and could just imagine the frown on her face. “Natalie, I’m simply making a suggestion. A good one, at that. Look at your father and I, we did great work as lawyers. Why wouldn’t you want to follow in our footsteps?”
She would never dispute the great work they’d done. Her parents had made their names in the career and both now worked for the state’s attorney’s office. She could see why they would have wanted her to follow in their footsteps, but what was the point if it wasn’t what she wanted to do?
“I just want to do what makes me happy,” she replied.
“By running errands for the Donovans?”
Errands?
Is that what she really thought?
“I don’t run errands, Mom. I work really hard there. You have no idea.”
At that moment, Jessica walked into the room and sat opposite her. She was adjusting her charm bracelet, which looked like she’d just added a few more charms to it.
Jessica looked over at Natalie with concern.
“Caleb Donovan will treat you like you’re his own daughter and spoon feed you. I can’t imagine him giving you something that will challenge you or help you improve for future jobs.”
“What if I want to stay there?” Natalie offered. The thing was, she actually wouldn’t have minded staying at Donovan Inc. for a good long while, especially if she made her mark with the Mokito acquisition.
“Oh no, Natalie, please don’t tell me that’s what you plan to do.” She could both hear and feel her mother’s disappointment.
“What would be wrong with that?”
“Everything. That’s like giving up on ambition and living the rest of your life aimlessly. At least Jessica has her future set with Joshua, so it’s fine if she doesn’t have a career, but you practically have neither.”
More hurt.
“I’ll speak to you later, Mom,” Natalie said when she felt the backs of her eyes sting.
Before her mother could respond, she hung up and threw her phone down.
“Momzilla?” Jessica offered with a look of concern.
“Yes. It just keeps getting worse. I can never do anything good enough in her eyes and my dad is just as bad.” Natalie huffed.
Shit, she didn’t want to deal with feeling bad tonight. She was already in enough confusion over Luke.
It had been four days ago that she last saw him, and she didn’t take up his invite to go see him. Instead she’d actually accepted a date with Eric, the real estate agent. He worked a few buildings down from Donovan Inc. They met at the deli weeks ago and he asked her out then. She’d said no, even though the man was super hot, as she wasn’t the kind of woman who did random hookups.
When Luke came by on Monday and basically messed with her mind, she figured it was time she accepted that date with Eric. She figured that the reason she was affected by Luke was because she wasn’t seeing anyone, and the weeks of wondering if he was dead or alive opened her heart to him.
Now this crap from her mother. She guessed her father would most likely be on her case as well when her mother told him she was considering staying at Donovan Inc.
It wouldn’t surprise her if her dad had a word with Caleb about it and messed up what she had going.
Jessica came and sat closer to her. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Jessica, I’m going to be thirty in a few months and my parents treat me like I’m twelve. My mom thinks I’m running errands for your dad.”
Jessica frowned. “Has she met my dad? I wouldn’t even work for him.”
“She thinks he just handed me the job because he felt sorry for me. She doesn’t realize I’m actually working.”
“Awww, honey.” Jessica rested her hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Seriously, there’s no point worrying over it. It’s just their opinions. My dad knows you work hard, and you know. I know he would never hand you a job because he felt sorry for you.”
“Thanks. It’s just that it’s been awhile since I felt like I could actually flourish in a place. I left L.A. because I didn’t fit in; I fit in just fine here and I can see myself doing well.”
/>
“So do well then, sweetie.” Jessica nodded; the movement of her head made her ponytail bobble. “I’m going to stay over at Joshua’s tonight. Laura should be back in a few hours. Are you going to be okay?”
“Of course,” Natalie lied. She hated when Jessica stayed over with Joshua. It was becoming a regular thing now, which bothered her to no end because of all her concerns.
“He should be here in a little while. Do you want your nails done?” Jessica brightened.
That was how they cheered each other up. There wasn’t usually anything that a good manicure couldn’t fix.
“I would love that.” Natalie smiled.
Jessica hopped off the sofa, went to the cupboard in the corridor where they kept their nail stuff and returned with a box full of nail polish.
Natalie chose a dark evergreen color.
“I like this color on you. Now you can tell me what else is bugging you besides your mom. You’ve been acting weird since Monday.”
The problem with living with friends who knew you too well was being unable to keep your feelings to yourself.
But how would she explain that the cause of her weird behavior was because of Luke. And if she really wanted to be truthful, she could add in her concerns over Joshua.
“Actually, let’s roll it back to Saturday. After you saw Luke, you left.” Jessica set out all the polishes she needed from the box and then looked up at her with suspicious eyes.
“I had a headache,” Natalie replied.
“Girl, how long have we known each other? Are you seriously going to look at me and lie?” Jessica widened her eyes.
“I was just feeling a little weird.”
“We’ve established that part, sweetie.” Jessica laughed and pushed a wayward strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear. “I did wonder if that weirdness had anything to do with Luke?”
“What would make you think that?” Natalie asked in the most casual way she could.
Jessica shook her head at her. “You like him, don’t you?”
“What? Luke? Jessica, I’m going on a date with Eric on Saturday. Why would I go out with him if I liked Luke?” Maybe that was more of a question she should ask herself. Because one thing was clear after Monday, and that was that she still had feelings for Luke.
But she wasn’t ready to admit that to herself, or accept it.
She’d cross that bridge after her date with Eric.
Then she’d know if she was just going through some sort of a phase she needed to get over.
Jessica knitted her brows together. “Eric?”
“Hot Brazilian guy who looks like a model. From the real estate office.”
“The guy you said no to weeks ago?” Jessica gave her a curious look.
“Jessica, the man came up to me in the deli and asked me out. I don’t do hookups like that.”
“So what makes this week different from weeks ago?”
“Time,” she replied, although that probably made no sense. “It’s weeks later.”
Jessica cast her a look of disbelief, took her right hand and started buffing her nails with a file. “So what you’re saying is he was hotter this week?”
“No, he was still hot, I just know who he is this week.”
“So you think going out with the hot guy will distract from the feelings you have for Luke?”
“What?” Natalie gasped and regarded her friend with keen eyes.
“Natalie, I wasn’t born yesterday.” She giggled. “And I’m not blind or stupid. You’ve had feelings for him for a long time. What I’m not sure of is whether or not you did anything about it.”
“What do you mean?” Natalie knew Jessica was on to her, so there was perhaps no point in trying to dance around something she probably already knew.
She’d never told anyone about her youthful foolish attempts on Luke, and she didn’t plan to. But maybe it couldn’t hurt to talk about it.
“Natalie, again, I wasn’t born yesterday. You act weird when you’re around him, then mysteriously, when he’s home, you strategically plan to be busy so that for the last ten years you guys just haven’t seen each other. I think…” she narrowed her gaze and pointed the small nail polish brush at her. Natalie looked at her, waiting to hear her thoughts. “I think something happened between you two.”
Natalie opened her mouth to protest but found she couldn’t speak. Her lack of words, though, was exactly what Jessica needed for an answer.
Her eyes widened in complete shock and she dropped the nail polish bottle. “Holy shit, Natalie! Something happened between you two?”
“No, it…” What should she say? Technically nothing happened, but then it kind of did.
“Did you sleep with him?” she shrieked, bringing her hands to her cheeks.
“No. I didn’t. I was nineteen and stupid, and he didn’t want me.”
If Jessica’s eyes widened anymore they would pop out of her head. “Nineteen. Natalie, that was about when he left for the Marines…” She thought for a moment. “Ohh. That was when you started acting strange. You have to tell me what happened.”
Natalie shook her head. “No, there’s nothing to tell. Plus I—”
“Trust me, if you think it’s weird because it’s Luke and he’s my brother, it’s fine. I would be okay if you liked him. It would make me happy to see him with an amazing and beautiful person. My friend.” Jessica nodded vigorously.
“That’s sweet, really sweet, but he’s not into me like that.” That was what she understood by his rejection years ago, and that was what she was sticking to.
Monday was just him messing with her mind. It wouldn’t do her any favors to think otherwise. Plus why would she?
The doorbell rang and they both looked over to the door. Jessica winced.
“Oh no, he’s early. I can ask him to wait while I finish your nails,” she offered.
“No, you go. Don’t make him wait,” Natalie told her. She preferred it that way. The less of Joshua she saw the better. Then she wouldn’t have any sort of time to develop any further concerns about him.
“But this color will look so pretty on you,” Jessica pouted.
“I can still put it on. I’ll send you a picture later.” Natalie smiled.
“Cool.” Jessica put the lid back on the little bottle and sauntered over to the door to open it.
Natalie bent down to pick up the nail polish box but froze when she caught sight of who was at the door.
Joshua was there alright, but so was Luke.
“Look who I found outside. I came at the right time,” Luke boomed with that strong, commanding, but lively, voice.
A look of panic immediately washed over Jessica’s face. “Luke, you didn’t give Josh the third degree, did you?”
From the withered look on Joshua’s face, Natalie figured Luke had to have definitely said something of the third degree variety to him.
Serves him right. If something was up with Joshua, it would be good for him to know that Jessica had people who could take care of her. And no one took more care of her than Luke.
The fact that he was here was something else. Yet again, she wasn’t planning on seeing him so soon.
“We just had a man-to-man chat,” Joshua said in a tentative voice.
“And I found out this guy knows how to use a gun. I wondered why in the world he’d know such a thing.” Luke gave Jessica a deadpanned expression.
“And I explained that it was from paintballing.” Joshua looked so uncomfortable Natalie almost had the urge to laugh. But she held back because Jessica looked really mad.
“Luke, people go paintballing all the time. It’s normal,” Jessica told him, folding her arms.
“I know, sweetie, I know, it’s just because he said he used a G17 handgun and I’d never used one of those paintballing. That’s all. Plus it’s a real gun.”
That made Jessica look even more mad. “Luke, I will see you later.”
Jessica linked her arm with Joshua’s and ushe
red him away.
That left Natalie with Luke.
Chapter 7
Natalie
* * *
She’d been looking at Jessica and Joshua, thinking about what Luke just said. Since she’d never been paintballing she wouldn’t know what sort of gun was used, but it would be a weird thing to say that you used a gun like that if it was unrelated to what you would use for paintballing.
When she looked to Luke, she found he was already looking at her.
Looking at her and giving her that easy grin of his that made him look sexier.
Something she didn’t want to be thinking about.
She thought he would have followed Jessica, but he stayed and he was simply standing there staring at her.
“Is this all we’re going to do all evening? Stand and stare?” he asked. The smile inched up his cheeks to reveal those gorgeous dimples.
She didn’t answer because right now she was trying to figure him out.
Why was he still here?
“I guess we are,” he added.
“How come you’re still here, Luke?” She smiled back, holding her own.
“Don’t tell me the glaze of me being back is already starting to wear off on you.”
“It’s not. It’s always a pleasure to see you, except when I don’t know what you’re up to,” she pointed out.
“I’m visiting.”
“Jessica just left, and she won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“I’m not here to see Jessica.” He leaned back against the door, which was still open.
“Laura’s not here either. I don’t know when she’ll be home.” She dared not assume he was here to see her, even though it was pretty obvious now that he was.
“Nat, you know I’m not here to see Laura.” He looked at her as if he could see straight through her, making her feel almost naked, like she couldn’t even guard her thoughts.
She allowed her gaze to drift over his perfect body and took in those muscles that made her nerves scatter. Men like him were trouble because they made you think sinful thoughts against your will.
Only You Page 5
