Natalie should be focusing on Jessica and what she might have unearthed about Joshua today, but Jessica’s words hit her hard.
“I didn’t mess anything up with Luke.”
“Right, so where is he? When did you last see him? Are you two even together?”
Natalie guessed Luke hadn’t said much about what had happened between them.
“We’re on a break,” she replied, her cheeks now feeling hot and her skin prickly.
“Considering he has less than six months left at home, it’s a little weird to be on a break, don’t you think? Or is this the kind of break that means you actually aren’t interested, because if it is, you should tell him.”
How did this conversation turn on her? If it was anyone else she wouldn’t have answered, but since it was Jessica and she was Luke’s sister, she thought she should.
“I am interested, but we’re not talking about me, Jessica.”
“I’m done here. Fix your own love life and leave mine alone,” Jessica snapped.
“Jessica, I’m your friend. I just don’t want to see you hurt or ending up with the wrong guy,” she defended.
That just made Jessica even more mad. “You think he’s the wrong guy for me?” She narrowed her eyes, seething with anger but also hurt. It flashed in her eyes. “I expected more from you, Natalie. I did.” A tear ran down her cheek, making Natalie feel truly awful.
Jessica walked away from her, out of the room and up the stairs. The next thing she heard was her bedroom door slamming upstairs.
Natalie’s shoulders slumped and she rested back against the cushions.
What a disaster.
She didn’t expect Jessica to get so mad.
Natalie agreed that Joshua took care of Jessica, he might even love her. But there was definitely something up with him.
She just didn’t know what it was.
Chapter 15
Luke
* * *
“Hey bro, look what I got us.” Evan beamed.
Luke watched his friend stroll into the garage with a wide grin. Evan held up a large Krispy Kreme bag.
Luke chuckled. “What are you doing? You said last week that you were going to stop having sugar. You do know that donuts are packed with sugar.”
“I know, but you also said you’d consider going to Corey’s party and you didn’t turn up.”
Luke had his reasons for that. He only said he would go to get Evan off his back.
He didn’t know how he ended up with the kind of friends he had where they thought it was okay to basically sleep around and satisfy yourself with any woman when you couldn’t have the one you wanted.
Evan wasn’t as bad as the others, but he was a follower and went with the crowd.
The guys knew Luke was sweet on Natalie, they also knew, because he told them, that they were taking a break to work out personal issues. Yet they expected him to turn up to a party with strippers and a mass of loose women.
“I got busy,” he told him.
“With the car or Natalie?” Evan smiled.
Luke was checking out the engine of his car. Last night he’d heard a strange sound coming from it. It seemed to stop, but he wanted to be sure it was okay.
Evan walked over to the car and set the donuts on the table with the tool kit.
“Car,” Luke replied.
“No Natalie?”
“No Natalie.”
“Why don’t you just go see her?” Evan raised his brows and folded his arms.
“Because she doesn’t want to see me.”
“That’s a little harsh. I’m sure she wants to see you.”
“No,” Luke told him, “she doesn’t. Put simply, my man, she doesn’t want to be with me because she’s too scared to have any intense feelings for me in case I die. It’s like falling for a sick rabbit who’s been mauled by wild dogs.”
“Shit Luke, the imagery. A sick rabbit. God, if it’s been mauled by wild dogs it’s on the verge of death.” Evan laughed.
Luke was nodding, though. “Yes. Bingo. That is me. My job’s too dangerous, so she doesn’t want to get involved with me.”
“But you haven’t decided on whether or not you’re going back. You’re in stasis at the moment. Neither here nor there.” Evan shuffled his hands for effect.
“I know, but it’s still not what she wants, and I get it. I do.” He understood, but it didn’t mean he accepted it. He wanted her badly. Wanted to be with her, wanted to spend every moment with her, but the worst thing he could do was push too hard and push her completely away.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this,” Evan observed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been like this.” Luke laughed, but inside he felt tortured.
The last three and a half weeks had been awful. He was having trouble with the little sleep he got, some nights passing up on sleep entirely.
All because he was trying really hard to explore his options. He thought that if he knew what he wanted, one way or the other, it would at least help.
Some days he thought he knew what he wanted. Some days he felt sure he would just go back to the Marines and work until he retired, or the job retired him in death.
Then when he thought that meant losing Natalie, he became confused all over again.
There was one thing, though, that he’d managed to unveil about his confusion.
In his deep soul searching, he realized what the problem truly was. He realized why he didn’t know what he wanted to do.
It was the incident itself. The incident back in Afghanistan. It was the fact that it forced him into this situation. The forcing part was what didn’t sit well with him.
Throughout his whole time in the Marines, he’d gone on some crazy-ass missions, serious life-or-death ones, that needed his undivided attention and for him to give his all.
But that one was the worst because he was made to feel powerless. He had to watch his friends die, all of them, right in front of him, and there was nothing he could have done.
He couldn’t even feel the guilt of feeling guilty because those Ra rebels robbed him of it. Tied his hands behind his back and bound him so he couldn’t move. There was no memory of him trying to save his men because he didn’t have the choice.
So there it was; the incident was the problem. It was what brought him home, what gave him long-term leave. Take it out of the equation and Luke would have still been back in Afghanistan doing his routine patrols with his team, doing what a Marine Lieutenant did best.
Luke wouldn’t be here, and that was the problem.
He discovered that if he stayed in the Marines, it would be because he truly wanted to, and similarly, if he chose to leave and change course, he didn’t want it to be because of the incident.
Considering the latter, he wanted to know wholeheartedly that he’d come to a point in his life when he felt a natural progression towards what he wanted most.
That was the part that scared him, because he didn’t feel that. Not even a little bit.
“Well, if you stay you could still just become a cop,” Evan stated, cutting into Luke’s thoughts.
“And eat donuts,” Luke chimed in.
“And eat plenty of donuts.”
“You kill me, Evan.”
“Any chance I could persuade you to go to Vegas? It won’t be any fun without you. Remember last time?” Evan started to laugh.
Luke laughed, too, at the memory of himself getting so drunk that he stood on a roulette table and sang his own wonderful rendition of “Y.M.C.A.”
But…instead of doing the well-known dance for that song, he did the damn actions for the Macarena. And not in a good way. Luke could dance, but not when drunk.
The guys laughed him to scorn and wondered how it was he even knew the Macarena. He blamed Jessica. It was the result of living with a sister who was always up to date with the latest pop trends and music, and insistent on playing her favorite songs over and damn over again until those who lived with
her became mindless automatons that followed suit.
That last trip had been hilarious, because he did other crazy things that he thankfully couldn’t remember. Like apparently kissing a parrot.
It was just the whole Darnel incident that he couldn’t get past that left Luke with a bad taste in his mouth. He didn’t want to be the friend that helped to facilitate that sort of behavior. Cheating.
Luke even felt bad for knowing that Darnel cheated on his wife and withholding that information.
The trip was next weekend, and Luke still felt the same. “No. That’s not me anymore. It was fun, but I—”
The sight of her took his breath away and cut off his words.
Natalie stopped by the garage door on seeing Evan.
“I’m sorry, I should have called first. I didn’t realize you had company,” she said nervously.
Evan turned to face her and even he looked thrown by her beauty.
It wasn’t even as if she was wearing her sexiest outfit either. She just wore a simple, oh so simple, soft pink camisole top, which looked outstanding against her beautiful skin, and a little black mini-skirt. Her hair was down, just the way he liked it, sleek and straight so it came well past her elbows, and she had minimal makeup on. The afternoon sunlight lit her up in all the right places, highlighting the goddess she was.
“I was just leaving,” Evan declared.
Luke glanced at him, knowing he was actually visiting with the intent to stay for a while.
“But it’s good to see you.”
“You too,” Natalie said with a smile.
“I’ll leave the donuts.” Evan turned back to Luke.
“Take ’em. I know you want to and we won’t eat them,” Luke chuckled.
Evan smiled at him. “Call me later.”
Luke nodded.
Evan smiled at Natalie as he left and she gave him one of her sweet smiles in return.
Once they were alone, Luke gave her a wolf whistle.
When she focused her gaze back on him, he rested back against the car and allowed himself the pleasure of looking her up and down, real slow. He started with her feet in those sandals and skimmed over her toes that had a glossy polish on them the same color as the top.
His eyes trailed up her smooth bronze legs, finding the flat of her stomach where that top caressed her skin the way he wanted to. He stopped at the jackpot, which for him was her breasts. He liked that other place, too, on her, down low between her smooth thighs, but since he couldn’t see that he settled for her breasts and tried to recall what she tasted like.
“Luke, stop staring at my breasts.” She folded her arms under them, making her cleavage stand out more.
“Nope,” he answered. “Shouldn’t have worn that if you didn’t want me to look.” He gave her his cockiest smile.
She pouted, attempting to look serious, but she just looked sexier, and he pissed her off by continuing to look.
“These are my normal clothes.”
“Hmm, hmmm, hmmm, normal sure looks good on you. Please tell me we’re done with that break you wanted us to be on. We have a bed now; your side has pink pillows.” It actually did. He, with his crazy self, had bought her a special pink bed set. Crazy right?
Maybe he had indeed gone mad since she was the woman who wasn’t sure if being with him was the right thing for her.
He was the injured rabbit that had been mauled by wild dogs and she wanted to detach her feelings for him, not get involved because she didn’t want to feel the sadness and loss if something ever happened to him.
The pink bed set was more the case of him remembering that she’d been his, even if it was just the one night.
“My side?” She dropped her hands to her sides and looked him straight in his eyes.
“Yes, baby, your side. There’s a large wardrobe, too, I’m willing to share. Although I remember your room way back and you probably have too many clothes. You’d need a walk-in wardrobe, which we definitely have room for.”
“We?” Something sparkled in her eyes that caught his attention, so he decided he’d work with it.
“We.”
“You want me to move in with you?” she asked with a tentative expression, but that spark still remained.
It wasn’t a bad idea, and if that was what she thought, then it was no bad thing and he’d just jumped several places ahead on the game board.
“You want to? I make the best pancakes, baby.” He moved away from the car and walked up to her, keeping his eyes on her the whole time. “I use cinnamon and spices and finish it off with blueberries and strawberries covered in chocolate sauce.”
“Sounds fattening.” A little smile crept up the corners of her sensual mouth that looked glossy with a soft hint of pink.
He noticed that she wasn’t saying no, or even attempting to discourage the notion of being with him. She didn’t answer his question about not being on a break, and she didn’t say no to moving in or laugh like it was a joke.
“Nope, it’s not. I’ll share it with you. Everything is half the calories when shared. Half fat.” He smiled, loving the little giggle that escaped her lips.
He reached out to touch that smooth skin on her delicate jaw and held her gaze for a few moments. He wouldn’t ask any specific questions again about their break, or anything to do with their non-existent relationship.
Instead he’d enjoy her for whatever reason she was here.
If she was done with this break she would have said, that meant she was here for another reason.
There was one thing, though, that he wanted.
“Can I at the very least kiss you?”
Her lips parted and her soft brown eyes darkened the way they did when she was turned on.
“Kiss, Luke, I…” Her voice trailed off as she seemed to be considering it.
“It’s just a kiss, Nat. You can’t come here, dressed like that, torturing me with your body and the memory of that magical night we shared, and not give me something.” He smiled down at her.
“Okay.” Her voice was softer than a caress. “Come here.”
Oh yes, he would definitely go to her with pleasure. He leaned in and simply pressed his lips to hers. It was brief, too brief, but it was a kiss.
A simple brush of his mouth across her soft, plump lips.
As he was moving back, though, he caught sight of the unsatisfied look in her eyes and thought fuck it, who was he playing at kissing her like that?
Kissing her like he didn’t want her, like he didn’t need her.
So he moved back in and claimed her lips, and damn she kissed him back, too, kissed him like how he felt for her.
But just before they really got going, he ended it and stepped back, away from her.
He sighed with frustration and pressed his lips together. That was a mistake he knew he would pay for later when she left and he started to miss her.
She touched her fingers to her lips and looked worried.
“It’s fine,” he stated, catching her attention. “We can talk about us some other day. What brings you here, Nat?” That was his best attempt to push his true feelings aside and ignore the call of his heart that only seemed to beat for her.
“Jessica,” she replied.
“What’s up with Jessica?”
“I found something weird at the office. It’s to do with Joshua.”
“What did you find?” Concern filled him in an instant.
She explained her findings to him and told him how mad Jessica was at her. That didn’t surprise him at all, but like Natalie, he was going to move past whatever anger Jessica may feel at him and look into this further.
That little prick Joshua. Luke knew there was something up with him. He didn’t want to dwell on it, simply because there didn’t seem to be any real cause for alarm. However, this was definitely something.
“Did you tell my father?” he asked.
“No, not yet. I wanted to be sure. The thing is, I’m just speculating that there’s something
more at work here. It’s weird that the company would even send me those hard copies knowing that they wouldn’t match what they emailed across.”
Like hell, of course that was weird. “Did the same person send the email and the hard copies of the reports?”
“Yes, it was their admin assistant.”
“Tell me what you think is going on.” He was interested to hear what she thought.
She looked hesitant. “I don’t want to make any assumptions. I just didn’t know where else to go because going to your father would most likely blow the whole deal out of the water. I didn’t want him to panic.”
“Nat, baby, tell me what you think.”
“I think that they are money laundering and Joshua is involved somehow. An accountant’s certification is a seal of approval for all tax related purposes. If they were ever checked out by the IRS, a small company like that would have been required to submit all their records, both digital and hard copies of their expenses and income. More so, hard copies of receipts and bank transactions, because of the risk that their digital records could be tampered with. I’m just guessing, as that’s a little outside my remit.” She inclined her head to the side and sighed. “I’m supposed to analyze the data and see if there are any risks. These people looked risky, and Joshua’s name was there. If I didn’t feel the way I do about him I would give him the benefit of the doubt and suggest that maybe there’s nothing strange on his part, but he acted super weird last night when we talked about it.”
And that was enough for Luke to go on.
“Do me a favor, baby?”
She nodded.
“Leave this with me. I know a guy who can look into it some more; if there’s something to find he’ll find it.”
Luke had a good friend who was also a former Marine.
Nick Wylder. They’d served together a few years back and he just happened to live in Chicago, too, in Englewood. That was about an hour away from here, so Luke could go see him if need be. He probably should, anyway, just to get in touch. He’d heard Nick had a private investigation company. It sounded like what they needed here. Something subtle but effective.
If they had this looked into and found nothing, that Joshua was an innocent party, then great.
Only You Page 12
