Travis didn’t look fazed one bit. He merely nodded casually at the officer. “What up, Wendell?”
Wendell grimaced, breathing in through his nose and letting it out. “Easy, Trav. You staying out of trouble?”
“Always, sir,” Travis replied. “I’m all about being a law-abiding citizen.”
And then, because Travis was completely reckless and ignorant, he set his key into his ignition and brought the car to life. Once more, sounds of hip-hop loudly emitted from his speakers as some old 50 Cent tune filled the area.
I could see the annoyance on Wendell’s face as Travis flashed him a shit-eating grin.
Travis straight didn’t give a fuck. That was often humorous, but not with five-o.
I got into the car and turned down the music. Anything to avoid getting in trouble.
Travis groaned. “Aw, man, he was just getting to my favorite part.”
He set the car in Reverse and backed out of the space while managing to wave to Wendell before pulling away.
“Some of us don’t want to get arrested,” I said.
Travis smirked. “Wendell’s just a rent-a-cop.”
From what I knew, he was local security for our development. Wendell guarded the gate that kept our little community exclusive. Sometimes he would patrol the neighborhood, flashing his light to see if anything shady was going on. I knew this from my many restless nights.
“Any cop is bad news,” I said.
Travis shrugged. “He gets off on harassing me, so sometimes I enjoy feeding into it. Don’t worry about it—you just focus on Nandy.”
“It’s going to be interesting,” I confessed. “Dating’s never been my strong suit.”
“Nah?” Travis pulled into his driveway and sat back, looking my way.
“When you love someone and they die, sometimes you close yourself off. You don’t wanna love anyone after that, because the pain of losing them hurts too much. I didn’t want to feel after my mom died. I didn’t want to love anyone, not even Pops. It’s like a piece of you goes when they do. Love makes you vulnerable, and vulnerability is not for me. I had one girlfriend, and I wasn’t good to her, because I could never let her in.”
Travis stared at his house, thinking over my words. “I don’t like being controlled.” He faced me. “My parents, the teachers, Wendell, the man, they’re all on my back, telling me what to do. The last thing I want is some girl doing that shit, because that’s just another person to answer to.
“Nandy’s a core for a lot of people around here. In school, she sticks to her circle, but this summer she’s been down with everyone. I think if you allow yourself, you could open up to her. She runs a lot of stuff for school. She’s the nicest person when it comes to the new kids, she makes these little welcome packages complete with a little personalized teddy bear. Hell, she’s the first to step up and help anyone around here. She’s Miss Social, but I don’t think she’d try to control you.”
To that I had to snort. The girl was always telling me what to do, ever since we were five. I’d never let Asiah run me, never let anyone tell me what to do except for my mother, but with Nandy, it was always just her. She was different from the girls in my neighborhood, and hella bossy, but so cute that I never really cared.
I guess, deep down, I knew. From the moment I’d laid eyes on her again, I was carrying a ten-year torch for Nandy Smith. I liked her for her, and because she made me happy when all I’d felt when I was younger was anguish.
“Nandy knows when to take charge and when to fall back. Maybe she’s good for me.”
“Just don’t turn into J. Crew on me, a’ight?” Travis teased. “You can like this town, but don’t let it take you.”
“Warhol said the same thing. It’s different here, phony at times, but it has character.”
Travis examined our street and the neighboring houses. “We’ll see once school starts.”
The front door to the Catalano house opened and his mother stepped outside. Her hands instantly glued to her hips as she eyed her oldest son with annoyance. “Travis, did you teach London to throw up gang signs?”
Travis clicked his tongue as he snatched his keys from the ignition. “I’m a white boy from the suburbs, what gangs do I know?”
His mother narrowed her eyes, not buying it. “Get in here this instant.”
Travis rolled his eyes and jumped out of the car. “Duty calls, Trice. Catch ya later.”
I got out of the car and went home to the Smiths’ house. Inside, Nandy was just making her way to the staircase, her earphones in her ears and her hair swept up in a loose bun. She looked adorable in her tee and shorts.
Upon seeing me, she removed her earphones and greeted me with a smile. “Hey.”
I’d missed her, the realization causing me to smile, too. “Hey.”
She came over to me and stood in front of me. “Have fun?”
“Mostly.” I held up my bag from the Crab Shack. “I grabbed you a lemon chicken almond salad sandwich.”
Nandy eyed the bag with glee. “On a croissant?”
“The only way to eat one.”
She greedily snatched the bag and peered back at me appreciatively. “Thank you.”
“How was your day?”
She held up her phone. “Erica and I—”
The front door burst open, immediately causing us to jump apart. Jordy entered the house. His hair was a mess, his shirt torn, and he was breathing hard as his eyes glistened with unshed tears.
Shit.
“Jordy!” Nandy rushed for her brother, too quick for me to seize her.
This only upset Jordy more. “Leave me alone!” He went past us, storming up the staircase and wiping at his eyes.
Nandy wasn’t hearing it.
I caught her before she could go after Jordy. “Stop.”
“He’s my brother!” she said, gesturing toward the staircase.
Jordy was embarrassed, and the last thing he would want was Nandy babying him. At eleven years old, he was still a kid, but at the age where he didn’t want to be deemed a kid or treated like one.
“I’ll go,” I told her. “Just wait here.”
She frowned, a fight in her eyes, but surprisingly she conceded.
I went to Jordy’s room. When I knocked, he allowed me to enter.
He was sitting on his bed, head down, shoulders shaking.
I sat next to him, knowing better than to reach out and touch him. “Wanna tell me what happened?”
He didn’t speak, his gaze glued to the floor.
“It’s okay if you don’t,” I went on. “We can just sit here.”
We sat silently for a while before he got the courage to open up to me.
“I—I was at the skate park,” he began. His voice was heavy, as if he wanted to cry, but he pushed it down and covered it up, because that’s what boys do. “I was talking to Mani and Hector, and this kid from my class, Louis, he was trying to impress Mani and so was I.”
“You got in a fight?” I asked.
Jordy nodded. “I did this trick on my skateboard and Mani liked it, and Louis couldn’t do it. He started making fun of me. He called me an adopted freak.” Jordy peered up at me. “He told me my real parents didn’t want a freak baby, and soon my mom and dad wouldn’t want me, either. I tried to hit him, but he’s bigger than me.”
“And Mani saw?”
Once more Jordy nodded, his true hurt out on display. It had to be rough to be bullied in front of a crush.
The thing that bothered me most about Jordy’s story was how he was telling it, how he was holding back his emotions.
“You wanna cry, don’t you?”
He shook his head, though his voice gave him away. “No!”
I hung my head, shaking it. “It’s okay to cry, Jordy. He hurt your feelings. Hit you in a weak sp
ot. It’s okay to let it out.”
“I’m not a baby!”
To the Smiths, and even to Jordy, he wasn’t adopted—he was their son, as natural as Nandy was. To the outside world, at first glance, the Asian boy with the black family would seem strange, but anyone who saw their family interact would understand that it wasn’t strange at all.
I reached out and touched Jordy’s shoulder. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“I never got to cry over losing my mom. She’s been gone for almost a year, and I never cried over it. As bad as it hurt, I never allowed myself to sink to my knees and cry. Where I’m from, you gotta be hard, tough, a man. Crying’s for the weak. But between you and me, I bet it feels good to let it out. I wish I could, you know? It hurts every day, but I’m so cold I can’t even shed a single tear.
“Crying doesn’t make you weak. People rant all day about equality, but we allow women to cry and be emotional, yet we paint this picture of men being strong and that tears are not acceptable. I’m not saying you should cry over everything, but if something pierces your soul, it’s okay to let it out. You’re human, you feel pain, so go ahead and cry. You love your parents, and that kid hit below the belt. It’s okay to cry, Jordy.”
Still, he peered up at me, tears in his eyes, but not falling. “You never cried once after losing her?”
I shook my head. “I allowed my hardness to take over, and emotions aren’t my strong suit. I miss her every day, but I don’t cry. Sometimes I feel guilty, because it’s like I didn’t love her if I don’t shed a tear. I don’t want that for you. Being tough isn’t about not showing emotion, not crying. It’s really all intellect, and clearly you’re smarter than Louis if you know better than to pick a fight over a girl.”
Jordy looked away. “I really like Mani, and I didn’t want her to see.”
The thought of crying in front of Nandy made me wince. The image even made me feel weak and pathetic. I didn’t want that for Jordy. I didn’t want him to shut down like that. “I’m willing to bet she likes you more than Louis. Only stupid girls like bullies, J.”
A single tear rolled down Jordy’s cheek, and he was quick to wipe it away. He sniffled and offered up a half smile as he glanced my way. “I know what all you said, but can you please not tell Nandy, or my mom? I promise I’ll cry later, just don’t tell, okay?”
I cracked a smile as I reached out and tousled his hair. “It’s just between you and me. You can come to me for whatever, you know that, right?”
He bobbed his head. “Yeah, I know. I always wanted a brother, and now I have you.”
My smile broadened with warmth. It was nice to feel this close to Jordy. “I have an idea on how you can get Mani’s attention.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. You like Mani, and I’m going to help you make a move.”
Jordy appeared thoughtful. “And maybe you can get Nandy’s attention?”
I chuckled. “I sorta got that on lock already.”
Jordy narrowed his eyes and nudged me. “Dude, that’s my sister.”
I stood from his bed. “Noted. Tonight I’ll drive you and Mani to the movies. You gotta get one popcorn and two drinks, though. Plus, you gotta see something scary—that way you can protect her during all the scary parts.”
“All the scary movies are PG-13, though.”
“I got you covered.” Someone in town had to have a connection with the local movie theater.
Jordy seemed to like my idea regardless. “Okay. I’ll text Mani.” He gathered his phone and was quick to commence to texting. “Oh, and Trice, thank you. I’m really glad you’re here.”
Stopping in his doorway, I looked back at him and nodded. “Me, too.”
Out in the hall, I found Nandy waiting against the wall, obviously having overheard our entire conversation.
I meant to say something, to explain, but she threw her arms around me.
“God, I love you,” she said as she hugged me tight.
I froze, unable to process those three words.
There was a cracking inside of me. A layer of ice eroding deep inside my chest.
Somehow, those words chipped away at my hardness, and just as they did, a new layer of ice emerged, strong and sturdy, fully reinforced.
32 | Nandy
Shayne came over with a bag around five, right around the same time my mother got home from work. Tyson had been in his room ever since our hug in the hallway after his talk with Jordy. He had made some comment about having to write something down, and I hadn’t seen him since.
Shayne lay on my bed reading some teen romance that featured a black couple kissing in the rain on its cover. She kept chewing on her thumb, worry etched on her face the more she read.
Looking at the cover, I questioned whether Tyson and I would ever have that.
Sighing, I told myself to calm down.
“What’s wrong, Nandy?” Shayne set her book aside.
My door was shut and I knew we could talk. “Beyond the fact that it’s ‘forbidden,’ I was just wondering if this thing with Tyson is worth it. If we’ll ever be...” I gestured to the hardcover in her hands “...that.”
Shayne glanced at her book and back to me. “You two fighting?”
I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them close. “No, not really, at least not yet. From the moment he got here, we’ve been fighting one moment and fine the next. I just keep messing up with him. I make him crazy, and I don’t want to. We definitely have more spark and flames than me and Chad, but I don’t want it to fizzle out. I want more romance than bickering.”
Shayne was my best friend, and I loved her for the fact that she would tell it to me straight no matter what. When I vented to her, I knew her commentary would be sincere.
She reached out and put her hand on my knee, and I briefly admired the color of her pink nails. “You want a storybook romance, Nan?”
“Basically. That’s what we all want, right?”
“But Ty’s not your average hero, he’s been damaged and is trying to rebuild. That’s the downfall of all fairy tales. They make it all about the princess, when sometimes it’d be nice to get to know the prince and his story and journey. I mean, Aladdin is like the best Disney movie ever for a reason.”
Her comment made me laugh, though due to Tyson, I had to say I was obsessed with Tarzan due to all the times we’d watched it.
“Thanks, Shay. I guess I just don’t want us to end up disappointing each other and wasting our time.”
Shayne offered a sympathetic pat on the back. “I think you’re overthinking it. You’re caring too much about things being perfect. You just need to go with the flow and let it be. Just roll with the homies.”
I frowned. “I love you, but never say that again.”
She wrinkled her nose and waved her book around. “Sorry, this story is just really good. Can’t help but pick up some of the lingo.” She stared at the book in her lap and shrugged. “Before, you were a brat to Ty, Nandy. Now, you’re both trying to work your shit out. You won’t make him mad, because you have no reason to be fickle and pull away.”
“True.” With Chad out of the picture, nothing stood in the way of me getting what I wanted.
“When half these girls get back from vacation and school starts, you’re going to have to worry about fighting them off, and because I’m your best friend, I gotta fight with you and resist at the same time.”
“I hate you.”
“You better.” Shayne pulled me into a hug. “Just relax. Don’t rush it. Stop and enjoy the ride.”
“A lot happened in ten years. I feel like we need a day to just pick each other’s brains.”
“What was he like back then?” Shayne asked curiously.
A smile crossed my lips. “My slave. I used to decide everything we did, and he would let
me. Sometimes he would demand we do things his way, but that was mostly when we were watching TV or a movie. I think, back then, I knew his home life had to be different than mine, because he had this dullness to his eyes, but when we were playing or hanging out, he’d be so happy. Now I don’t think he’s like that too much. I don’t think he’s going to let me always have my way, and it’s fun to see him being more aggressive.”
It was fun, and downright sexy. Before, it was innocent between us, even if we’d kissed once or twice, but now, our friendship had every opportunity to blossom into more.
I decided that Shayne was right and I had to let it be, or else I would stress myself to death and ruin what I had with Tyson.
Shayne set her book on the nightstand and stood and stretched. “I’m starving. Let’s go see what Max ordered.”
“Probably Chinese,” I said as I stood from my bed as well. “Did you tell your dad you were staying here?”
Shayne shook her head as we headed for my bedroom door. “Let’s see how long it takes him to notice I’m gone before he starts calling me with the ‘Bambi, please’ routine.”
“Shayne—”
“My stepmonster totally makes up for my absence. They’re going away next week.” Shayne stuck her finger down her throat and pretended to gag. In the hall, she reached out and knocked on Tyson’s door. “Come on, Ty, Jordy, let’s go eat!”
My best friend merrily turned and skipped down the staircase and I followed, wondering how long it would take for her father to realize she wasn’t home.
My mother had gotten chicken from the Crab Shack, and together she and my father were in the dining room setting up the options from fried to baked as the sides of mashed potatoes, corn, and macaroni and cheese sat in the middle of the table.
“Hey,” I greeted my parents.
Tyson and Jordy entered the room, and my father observed him and then me before speaking. “Hey, yourself. How was your day?”
Tyson sat next to Jordy on one side of the table, and I sat next to Shayne on the other. “Melodramatic.”
“You know, the usual,” Shayne added, causing my father to loosen up and smile.
A Love Hate Thing Page 28
