He looked genuinely concerned, so I decided to squelch this spat before it could get away from them. “Hey!” I stomped my foot to get their attention. “Stop acting like imbeciles,” I ordered. “It doesn’t matter where you tie off the flaps. One of you pick the location. Then, at our next stop – which is in Ohio, so you’ll both be bored out of your minds – the other one can pick the anchor locations. It’s fairly simple.”
Luke made an exaggerated face. “Oh, thank you, wise one. I don’t know what we would do without you.”
“Probably rip each other’s eyes out.” I turned back to Kade. “Ready?”
“Yup. I need a break from the fighting.” He slid his arm around my shoulders as we ambled through the circus grounds. “Things are coming together quickly. We should have plenty of time to make sure everything is ready.”
“That’s good. I … .” The sound of feet pounding against the ground caught my attention. I wasn’t surprised when I swiveled and found Luke giving chase. “Uh-oh.”
Kade followed my gaze and scowled. “He’s going to invite himself along, isn’t he?”
If I was a betting person, I would put big money on that. “It will be fine,” I reassured him. “Luke will be on his best behavior.”
“I didn’t agree to that,” Luke groused as he fell into step with us. “We’re getting lunch, right?”
“We are,” Kade confirmed.
“Great. What sort of restaurants do they have around here?”
I smiled at the seemingly innocuous question. “I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised.”
MARVIN’S CONEY ISLAND WAS CLEAN, brightly lit and smelled like my childhood. I almost started drooling the second my memory and olfactory senses collided with the rich scent of chili and onions.
“Oh, geez. Do you smell that?”
Luke wrinkled his nose. “Grease?”
I elbowed his stomach. “No, smart guy. I’m talking about the coneys. I used to love coneys because all the restaurants – and there are at least fifteen different chains in this area – would run ninety-nine-cent sales one day a week. We could eat like kings a few times a week for only a few bucks. It was awesome.”
Kade looked pained when he met my gaze. “I would rather not hear stories about you being hungry.”
“Me either,” Luke agreed, wrinkling his nose. “That’s a bummer of a tale.”
I sighed and shook my head. “That wasn’t meant to be a bummer story. Those days we got to eat coneys were the best. Especially when it was cold outside. We could come inside, clean up in the bathrooms and spend a bunch of time in front of those hand dryers because they could warm us all over.”
“Oh, geez.” Kade’s hand automatically moved to my back. “You’re going to make me cry if you keep it up.”
“And nobody wants to see that,” Luke intoned, lifting his chin to scan the diner. “There’s a booth over there.”
Luke took the lead, Kade following, and I brought up the rear. I was feeling nostalgic, the delightful scent of grill grease clubbing me over the head with memories that didn’t seem so bad when looking back. Slowly, I let my gaze drift over the faces in the booths and I only grinned wider. It was the same sort of clientele. Apparently some things really never change.
And then I practically tripped over a face that seemed familiar. It was so jarring I came to a complete halt. I was so close to Kade that I slammed into his back. His eyes were full of concern when he stabilized me, but I was too busy staring at the woman and child in the booth to my left.
“Creek?” Her name came out a strangled gasp.
Her eyes, always so bright when we were younger, were dull and lifeless when she lifted them. Her hair, which had always been glossy even though she couldn’t wash it regularly, was dull and drab. “Do I know you?”
I didn’t know if she was pretending not to recognize me or if she’d simply forgotten me. I could walk away and put the past where it belonged or I could be brave and talk to her. I was no coward.
“Poet.”
Slowly, her eyes cleared of the haze they’d been hiding behind. “No way.”
“Yeah. Um … yeah.” I shifted from one foot to the other, uncomfortable. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know, living the dream.” Her snort was derisive and then she inclined her head toward the little girl sitting in a booster seat next to her. The child’s clothes were worn and frayed at the edges, but her hair was clean and neatly pulled into pigtails. She had the glow of youth and seemed happy enough. The smile she sent me was infectious.
“Hi.” I waved at her, suddenly awed that the same girl I lived with on the streets was now a mother. I couldn’t imagine that. “Is this your daughter?”
“Hannah.” Creek smiled fondly at the child and then handed her a crayon before looking me up and down. “You look the same.”
That was ridiculous. Twelve years had passed. Nobody looked the same after twelve years. “I think you’re exaggerating.”
“Not really. I mean … you look a little older. You mostly look the same.”
I wished I could say the same about her. The years had not been kind. The young, spirited woman I’d met had been ground into nothing. I felt inexplicably sad for her. Kade picked that moment to clear his throat and bring me back to reality.
“Oh, right.” I gestured toward him and Luke in turn. “This is Kade Denton and Luke Bishop. We all work in the circus together.”
“Right.” She bobbed her head. “I heard you joined the circus. That was the rumor anyway. I wasn’t sure if it was true or if something happened to you.”
I frowned. “I left you a letter.”
“You did?” She furrowed her brow. “I don’t think I got it.”
“I left it with Hazy and Junk.”
“Oh, well, if you left it with those guys … .” She finished on a hollow laugh. “What are you doing back in Detroit? I would’ve thought this is the last place you would ever want to visit. I mean … you got out. Nobody ever gets out. Why would you come back?”
She sounded bitter. I could see why. Obviously the girl who had big dreams of escaping and becoming famous, of making something of herself, had died a tragic death. The person left behind was … well … . Something like that would be impossible to overcome for a woman like Creek.
“We’re here for a week to put on a show,” I replied, choosing my words carefully. “We’re at the old fairgrounds.”
“Yeah? I hear they’ve been working on the neighborhoods over there, cleaning them and stuff. You want to be careful if you’re actually spending the night out there.”
My interest was officially piqued.
“The cops are in and out of there three times a night. They’ll drag you in for possession, even though it’s a stupid charge that barely gets them any money. They’re serious about cleaning that area up.”
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she was talking about a subject I couldn’t relate to. The second I’d left Detroit, our lives diverged. Obviously, things got better for me. She wasn’t so lucky.
I cleared my throat to push away the melancholy. “How about you? Are you married?”
She shook her head. “I never saw the need. Are you?” Her gaze shifted to Kade and Luke. “Or are you guys a threesome or something?”
Kade made a face and I could tell a biting retort was on the tip of his tongue, but I slowly shook my head in warning. He carefully snapped his mouth shut and then gestured toward the booth. “Luke and I are going to sit down. When you’re done, you know where to find us,” he said.
“I’ll be over in a few minutes,” I promised. I was sad to see him go because his mere presence was enough to ground me, but he and Luke were obviously making Creek nervous. I didn’t want her to feel out of place. The conversation was awkward enough.
“What about the others?” I asked. “Do you ever see them?”
“What others?” The question obviously annoyed her. “There’ve been a lot of ‘others’ in my lif
e over the years. You’ll have to be more specific.”
“Hazy. Junk. Shadow.”
“We only saw Shadow once after you left. He stopped in to see us at Hart Plaza. When we told him you’d disappeared, he was mad and yelled at us. He never came around after.”
I felt bad for not saying goodbye to him. “I left him a letter, too.”
“Well, I don’t think he got it. Hazy and Junk went their own way after. They were running with the crew that hung in the Cobo parking deck. They wanted to be with their own kind. They didn’t have room for me.”
“I’m sorry.” I meant it. “I couldn’t find you that day. I didn’t have much time.”
“I don’t blame you. You got out. You should be thankful.”
“Yeah, but … .”
“I survived,” she added. “I had to do things I never thought I would have to do, but I made it. I even have a house now. I’m not on the street.”
“Good for you. That’s great.”
“Yeah.” She didn’t look as if she appreciated my empty words. “It wasn’t easy. I spent two weeks trying to find you because I was certain the druggie duo couldn’t be right about the message they said you gave them. I mean … the circus. How could you join the circus?”
“It’s a good job,” I offered hurriedly. “I get to travel. I have good friends.”
“That’s great.” Her face was blank. “I bet you make sure to say goodbye to them when you leave.”
“I tried to find you.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She waved off my lame attempt at an apology. “Like I said, it was two weeks. After that I gave up. I went to Beacon for help because I didn’t know what to do. He got me into a job-training program, and I managed to survive.”
“What do you do?”
“I work.” Creek took a napkin and dipped it in her glass of water before wiping the corners of Hannah’s mouth. “It was great seeing you, but I really have to go. We only stopped by for a quick lunch.”
“Yeah, I … .” I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say. There was nothing really to say. Our lives had diverged and I wasn’t sure we’d ever had anything in common. Not really.
I stood rooted to my spot and watched her leave the diner, and then slowly I tracked my gaze to Luke and Kade. They were watching me with a mixture of concern and curiosity. “It’s fine,” I said hurriedly, sliding in next to Kade and taking the menu he handed me. “It was weird to see her, but it’s fine.”
“Okay.” Kade moved his hand to my neck and started massaging at the stress there. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m … fine.” I directed my attention to the menu even though I’d lost my appetite. Luke broke the silence.
“She said the name Beacon,” he started. “I’ve never heard you mention that name before. Who is it that helped her?”
“He was a local guy who worked at one of the shelters,” I replied, searching my memory. “I never liked him, but he was friendly enough. Sometimes we would try to stay at the shelter when it was really cold. There was a lottery, and not everybody could get in. If you were lucky enough to get picked, the others wouldn’t hold it against you. Beacon ran the lottery. She says he helped her get a job. I guess I should be happy about that.”
“The little girl is cute,” Kade offered lamely. “At least she’s a mother.”
I wanted to explode. “Let’s focus on lunch,” I demanded. “I don’t want to talk about this. We have a bunch of shopping to do this afternoon. Let’s make a list.”
Let’s not talk about this, I added again silently. Anything but this. If we talk about this for another second the guilt will probably consume me. I can’t look back. It’s too hard. I don’t know why I even tried.
6
Six
Luke was familiar with coney dogs. Kade had only heard about them. He was dubious when I ordered, although he followed suit. The look on his face when his plate was delivered was priceless. It did a lot to loosen the invisible fist gripping my heart.
“Don’t they smell amazing?” I briefly shut my eyes and inhaled. “Umm. I used to dream about that smell right after I left. It was a long time until I forgot about it.”
Kade’s eyes were hard to read when I opened mine.
“What?” I asked finally, self-conscious. “Did I drool or something?”
That was enough to garner a laugh. “No. I just ... it’s hard for me,” he said finally. “I don’t like to think of you suffering.”
“I didn’t suffer.”
“You were on the street. You had a friend learning how to turn tricks. From the looks of her, I think she was forced down that road. Friends died ... and disappeared ... and you couldn’t go into certain buildings for fear of being hurt by other people. If that’s not suffering, I don’t know what is.”
I’d never really thought about it that way before. “It wasn’t as bad as you make it sound. There were good times, too.”
“Oh, yeah? You haven’t told me one good story from back then.”
“I told you about ninety-nine-cent coney day” I protested.
“That is not a good story.”
“Hey.” Luke, who usually loved when we fought, reached across the table. It wasn’t me he was trying to comfort. “You’re going to drive yourself crazy if you keep going down this road,” he advised Kade. “I’ve been where you are. Picturing it is worse. You’ve got to put it out of your head. She came out the other side and survived.”
They were being ridiculous. “You guys keep seeing the ugly in it, and I don’t like that. There was good stuff, too.”
“Enlighten us,” Kade shot back.
“Fine. In the summer we would head out to Belle Isle for the beaches ... and the aquarium. The people who worked there took pity on us and gave us free passes to look around whenever we wanted. They weren’t suspicious or anything.”
Kade stilled. “That’s it? You got to visit an aquarium for free? How awesome.”
My temper started to build. “There was a fire escape on the side of the Detroit Opera House. We could climb all the way to the top and sit and listen to great music while looking at the stars. We knew the good places to eat ... and visit ... and we never went hungry for more than a few days. We survived and, yes, there were times we had fun doing it.”
Kade’s expression was impossible to read. He almost looked as if he was being strangled as he searched for whatever words he thought would make the situation better. “Poet, I’m not looking down on you.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“That’s how you’re acting.” He was unbelievably calm. “I love you.”
“Oh, don’t start this again,” Luke whined.
Kade ignored him, keeping his gaze focused on me. “I love you and I don’t like thinking about you living on the street. I’m glad you have good memories of it. I think that if you didn’t the bad ones would swallow you whole. That’s a defense mechanism.”
“Since when are you a professional psychologist?” I shot back, my fury building. “I think I know if I was happy or not. There were parts of living out there that weren’t so bad. We were together, a unit.”
“And you just saw one of your friends from back then.” Kade refused to back down. “You said on the drive that she was a dreamer, that she had big plans to get out. You made it sound as if she was a ray of shining light. Look at her now. I don’t think things worked out for her.”
He was right, of course. Things clearly hadn’t worked out for Creek. I couldn’t help feeling guilty about that. Perhaps I shouldn’t have left.
As if reading my mind, Kade slowly shook his head. “What would’ve happened if you stayed?” he asked gently. “You would be right there with her. We’d have never met. You never would’ve found your niche in the circus. That’s where you belong. You did the right thing.”
I rubbed my forehead and focused on my plate. This conversation was sucking the spirit out of me. “She was angry. I guess I can’t blame her.”
/>
“I noticed the anger.” Kade unwrapped his flatware and stared dubiously at his plate. “It looks like somebody already ate this.”
“Dig in and shut up,” Luke instructed, reaching for a napkin. He’d already plowed through one coney and was tackling his chili fries. “It’s fine.” He focused on me. “Even if you had stayed, I know we would’ve found each other. Some things are meant to be, like you and me.”
He made me laugh. He always did. “I do think we would’ve found each other,” I admitted, my eyes traveling back to the table where Creek had been sitting. “She said she didn’t get the letter.”
“I heard.” Kade moved his hand to my back and rubbed. He still hadn’t touched his food. “I’m sorry if that upsets you.”
“She also had a big scar on her arm,” Luke pointed out. “I mean ... huge. It looked like it never healed correctly because she never got treatment.”
I’d noticed the scar. I wasn’t good at judging things like that, but I had to estimate it was at least five or six years old. “She still looked like Creek,” I hedged, my eyes falling on a newspaper that the people in the next booth had left behind. On a whim, I reached over and grabbed it, something on the front page catching my eye. “She just looked beaten down. She says she owns a house.”
“And I’ll just bet it’s picturesque,” Luke muttered.
I glared at him. “There’s nothing wrong with not having a million-dollar house. Shame on you.”
He balked. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant she probably doesn’t clean it. Oh, don’t look at me that way. I can’t gracefully escape from this conversation, so I’m going to eat my lunch and pretend I didn’t say anything stupid.”
“That would probably be best,” I agreed, as I scanned the front of the newspaper.
“What’s that?” Kade asked, peering over my shoulder.
“It’s an article about missing girls in the Corridor,” I replied, my stomach doing a terrifying flip as I read through it. “At least four have gone missing, maybe more, and the cops are suggesting that females in the area buddy up so they’re never alone.”
Freaky Reapers (A Mystic Caravan Mystery Book 8) Page 6
