by Pride, Mia
“So, you are suggesting I continue to sleep in there with her?”
“Aye. Not only that, the men will realize eventually there is a lassie on board and it will be best if the men believe she is yers, so they keep their paws off her.”
“I will kill any man who attempts to touch her,” Juan snarled, looking at Lawrence and frowning, wondering how he had ended up in this position. He had to be her protector now, especially at night. He had not considered the sort of trouble that may find her if she were alone.
Lawrence raised a brow and pulled on his graying short beard. “Because she is Tomas’ sister? Or because she is yer woman? Did I miss something?”
“She is not my woman, Lawrence! I protect her because she is Tomas’ sister, si, but also because I am responsible for her wellbeing.”
“So then, why did ye leave her all alone last night if ye wish to protect her? There are many men who wouldnae be trustworthy if they found a sleeping lass all alone on board.”
“I was protecting her… from me,” Juan groused, looking away as shame flooded him.
“Ye need to explain after saying something like that, mate.”
Running a hand through his windswept hair, Juan turned back to Lawrence, knowing he had to tell all. Mayhap it would make him feel better to tell someone he trusted and respected. Mayhap it was not so strange, after all.
Sighing, Juan realized he would have to tell Lawrence more about himself and his past if he was going to properly explain himself. “Back in Spain, I had a wife, Lucia, and a daughter named… I have not said her name out loud in over a year…”
Lawrence frowned at him and turned fully toward him, clearly understanding that whatever Juan was about to say was very important. “Her name was… lo siento, but I cannot bring myself to say her name,” he croaked and swallowed down a shot of grief. He had not realized just how raw it all still was, how painful it was to speak about.
“Ye dinnae need to, Juan,” Lawrence responded, putting a hand on his shoulder. “When ye are ready, it will come.”
Swallowing hard, he nodded and looked away. “They died in the plague that tore through our city. I watched them be taken away from me, every breath weaker than the last. Lucia was my only love, mi amor. I died the day she was taken from me. I am the beast everyone thinks I am because of their loss. Any warmth I had left me that day. I am cold and dead…. just as they are. Gab – my daughter was only five years old.” He had spoken the first part of her name but could not say the rest. It felt like the wound in his heart was bleeding all over again and if he said her entire name he would surely die of the heartache.
“Och, I had no idea, mate. Juan, I am truly sorry.”
Nodding, Juan pursed his lips and continued. “I still have vivid nightmares of that night, very frequently. I shout and cry and sometimes when I think Lucia is in my arms again…”
Lawrence’s eyes widened in understanding. “Ye thought Kat was Lucia last night?”
“Si.” That was all he could say. The details eluded him. He knew not exactly what had happened aside from waking up with Kat beneath him and apparently sad and confused, but not frightened. She mentioned a kiss and already that was bad enough, but he did not know what he said or what else he did and prayed he had not crossed any more lines, and that she did not think he had tried to attack her as the other man had in her past. Juan was many things, but he was not one to force a woman’s will. He wanted nothing to do with love or romance ever again and to lay with a woman would be to dishonor Lucia. Kissing Kat had been bad enough, even if he could not remember.
“Do I need to ask if aught happened?” Lawrence asked, concern in his gaze. He was protective of Kat, much like a father, and Juan would not blame the man for wishing to run him through.
“I do not believe anything happened, aside from a kiss. She must have attempted to wake me from my nightmare and I thought she was my wife. I would never hurt Lucia. I would never hurt Kat, yet I’m afraid I may have frightened her. I woke up on top of her and she said I kissed her. That is all I know, Lawrence. After that, I left. I am ashamed.”
Lawrence was quiet for a few minutes, processing all he had learned and Juan hoped very much that one of his only friends in this world would not turn on him. “Ye are ashamed for grieving the loss of yer family, and dreaming of yer lost wife at night?”
“For frightening Kat. For making her feel used.”
Snorting, Lawrence swiped a hand in the air. “Nothing frightens Kat.”
“You would be surprised,” Juan added casually, not expecting Lawrence to appear so shocked by his words.
“Ye ken of something that has frightened her?”
“Si, not in so many words, but it is not my story to tell.”
Lawrence sighed and rubbed his face. “Something happened to her a while ago. I ken it. She willnae say what, but she changed. Became calculated, pretending to be stronger than she was. Aye, she is a strong lass to be sure, but everyone has a weakness, though Kat will try to tell ye otherwise.”
Juan knew exactly what her weakness was, and that was the source of his agony. She would not admit it, but he knew. And he had enflamed that fear last night. She may be in his cabin right now fearing his return. That thought made him feel sick to his belly. Deciding he needed to see her, to speak to her and clarify what had happened and to vow never to touch her again, he nodded to Lawrence and turned to walk toward his cabin. Just as he arrived at the door, William, his man on lookout, shouted from the top of the mast.
“Dutch ship on the horizon!”
Turning toward the sea, Juan grabbed a spyglass from one of his crewmen and looked at the oncoming ship, a red, white, and blue striped Dutch flag flapping wildly in the wind. Fecking Dutch. Juan grit his teeth and scowled. Sworn enemies of the Spanish, they had destroyed his people only a year ago at the surprise Battle of Turnhout, killing half the army and taking 600 men hostage. Some of those men were his finest friends and he remembered the day with full clarity… because he had been there. The English and Dutch had combined forces to decimate the already weakened Spanish and though he fought for his country, few knew who he truly was and those who did had died, taking his secret to the grave.
He wanted to tear the Dutch apart, limb by limb, for their cowardly attack. Si, they defeated the Spanish, but only because they had not been prepared. It was two strong nations against one weaker nation. Yet, he could not retaliate. He had cannons and men and they could battle right now, but Juan was Tomas’ man and Tomas was an English knight, sworn to fight for his majesty.
Leaving Spain and staying with Tomas meant that Juan had given up his Spanish connections and identity. He worked for the British now, no matter how much that chafed. His job was given to Tomas by the queen and he did them no good if he did not make it to Scotland on time.
“What are ye going to command, Captain?” Lawrence asked, taking the glass and looking at the Dutch ship coming closer. Clearly, they had been spotted as well, flying their English flag. They were in no danger, not truly, so long as they could convince the Dutch they worked for Elizabeth. “They are yer enemy, aye?”
Shaking his head, he put his hands on his hips. “No. They are Spain’s enemy. I work for Tomas. I work for England. They are allies. We do not attack. Remember, this is not a task for the Pirate Queen. We are not pirates. Not today.”
Lawrence looked sideways at Juan and cracked a smile. “Sounds verra rehearsed.”
“You have no idea,” Juan grunted. “The pirate in me wants to tear them apart. I was at Turnhout. I saw what they did.”
“Ye ken, this is how Tomas felt when he arrived in Ireland, sworn to the queen as a knight, yet reuniting to his Irish pirate kin. Ye will have to come to terms somehow.”
“Si. I know. Today, we approach this ship, smile, and nod, then we continue our journey to Scotland.”
Nodding, Lawrence turned to his men. “Ye heard Captain Beast! No plunder! Any man who attempts otherwise will be thrown overboard and join
Davy’s Locker along with Carrick!”
Juan forced back a smile when he saw faces go white as men nodded in understanding. They truly did believe he had killed that young lad.
Standing at the helm, Juan continued toward the Dutch ship, determined to get through with it and back on course, and praying Kat stayed in his cabin, for he had no time and the lass seemed determined to be at the center of all chaos.
As the two ships grew nearer, Juan ordered his men to be ready. Though they flew the Dutch flag, there was a chance it was a pirate ship setting a trap and flying a false flag… much as they were. He could easily lower the English flag and fly the Pirate Queen’s instead, yet he had ordered the men to remain loyal to Tomas’ cause. The only reason Tomas had groups of pirate crews who would do his bidding on royal commands was because he shared the bounty of all other captured ships well enough to compensate for the loss of loot on these journeys. They had food, coin, protection, and the promise of adventure on another day.
“Lower the anchor! Let them come the rest of the way toward us! Ready the cannon in case they fly a false flag!” Juan ordered. The sounds of cannons rolling into position and the anchor chains lowering happened almost immediately upon his order. The Dutch ship continued to come closer and Lawrence stood by Juan with the glass in hand, watching their every move.
“It appears to truly be Dutch, Captain,” he said. “They wear naval suits, except for…”
His pause made Juan look at him. “Except for what?”
“The prisoners.”
Juan grabbed the glass and took a closer look. Ragged, starved men wandered the deck, doing as commanded by the men in uniforms. Juan growled, feeling bile rise in his throat. “Spanish slaves.”
“It appears so, aye. Ye ken they took many after the Battle of Turnhout.”
“Si. I was there.”
“Ah.” Lawrence went silent and simply stood beside Juan for a few minutes before speaking again. “Ye still wish to stay yer course, Captain?”
No. He did not. He wanted to get his fellow Spaniards off that fecking ship and blow it to pieces. “I will board.”
“Ye? We have boarders, Captain. They can do that.”
“I will board along with them.”
Turning to his crew, Juan shouted for the grappling hooks to be readied. He was not sure which course he was going to take. He wanted to remain loyal to Tomas… but if he could save his people somehow and still make it to Scotland, he could get these men back on that Spanish galleon and home to their families. He had the power to do so. It meant facing his identity and risking the life he had created here. It meant potentially losing Tomas and Clew Bay. But his people needed him.
“There is something ye are not telling me,” Lawrence whispered as the grappling hooks flew over the rails and onto the deck of the Dutch ship, tightening as the men pulled the ropes, boarders waiting on the side.
“Raise the Pirate Queen’s flag,” Juan commanded to Lawrence, ignoring his first mate’s question. He would have answers soon enough. “I do not know how this will go, Lawrence, but if it goes poorly, I will not have this happen under the English flag. I am not acting for Tomas Esmonde right now. I am acting for Ferdinand, Prince of Asturias.”
“Who?” Lawrence asked, raising a brow.
The men cheered as the pirate flag raised, readying their swords and pistols for a fight. “Hold your fire, men! First, we board! I will speak to their captain and either we walk away with more crew and loot and they keep their lives, or the Dutch die and we keep the Spaniards!”
Ireland was not an enemy to Spain, so the crew nodded, unsure of why he was willing to allow them to live and keep their ship if they give over the Spanish prisoners, but none of them complained, for there was a fair chance that this ship had much bounty for the taking. What they did not know is that, in the process, they may lose their captain.
“Lawrence, if I do not return, you will be captain.”
“That is an odd thing to say. Why would ye not return?” Lawrence looked at him like he had gone mad. “What are ye planning?”
“All I will tell you is that I am a… person of great importance in my country. Only a few know it, and those who do may be on that ship.”
“And?”
“Those are my people, Lawrence. I am going to trade myself for the release of the slaves if I must. But I will attempt to return.”
“Ye have gone daft!”
“I have avoided this my entire life, but the time has come to stop hiding. You will take the prisoners with you to Castle Dheomhan. Find the Spanish galleon that is being held by the Scots and get the men on that ship. They need to go home.”
“Ye are asking me to abandon our cause?”
Shaking his head, Juan smacked Lawrence in the back. “No. We promised the queen we would discover why the Spanish were near her waters. We never promised to plunder them, burn their ships, or kill the men. We will find out why they were there and we will send them back.”
Before Lawrence could rebuttal or talk him out of his sudden madness, Juan walked toward the stern of the ship, ready to board the Dutch vessel where the grapples held them together.
Stepping onto the Dutch ship, his boots hit the deck with a thud. His men had already boarded, surrounding the Dutch sailors with the pistols and swords while cannons were ready to fire. They had switched out the English flag last minute, giving the Dutch no time to prepare.
“What is the meaning of this? Using the queen’s flag to trick us? She will have your head when she finds out,” the captain of their ship said, holding his hands in the air.
Looking around at the Spaniard slaves, Juan tried to see if he recognized any faces, but he did not.
“I am here to bargain with you, which is more than you deserve. We could take no quarter and leave with your ship, but I only want two things, instead.”
“Oh, and what is that, you filthy pirate?”
“Si, I am indeed a pirate, but I am not filthy. We Spaniards prefer to bathe regularly. And I do intend to take all your goods with me. As well as your Spanish crew.”
All eyes landed on him as the Spaniards looked at him with wonderment and confusion.
“I would rather die!” the Dutch captain roared, spitting at Juan’s feet. “I will not take commands from a Spaniard pirate! You should be a slave, not a captain! Who would trust you with such a task?”
“Why… the Queen of England would.” Juan smiled widely as the captain turned an ashen color. “I flew the English flag rightfully. We do her business. However, as a Spaniard, you understand I could not allow these men to remain your slaves. I fought beside them at Turnhout. So, I will save them, or die trying.”
“Then you shall die because once the queen hears of this, she will have you hanged a pirate!”
“No. I do not think so,” Juan said calmly. “Not when she discovers who I truly am.”
The man frowned at Juan and scratched his head. “There is no Spaniard the queen would wish to save.”
Looking around, Juan saw his men in place. Some held weapons to the other Dutch sailors while others ran to the galley and hold, collecting all food stores and crates, sacks, and chests. Stalling for a moment so his men could safely load the loot, Juan tilted his head and looked at the Spaniards. “I need to know. Will you let these men go and hand us your goods, or do you prefer to die, along with your crew?”
“I prefer death!” the captain roared, pulling out his sword and lunging at Juan’s gut. Deftly, Juan weaved to the left and the captain missed him altogether. Spinning around, Juan faced him once again, this time pulling out his sword, deflecting the captain’s blow.
“Save the Spaniards! Get them to the ship!” Juan shouted, circling the captain with his sword at the ready. His men roared and charged onto the ship, ready for a fight.
The captain lunged, but Juan dodged again. He would give the man one last chance before he killed him. He wanted to make it a fair fight, after all. The sound of swords clanging all aroun
d him filled his ears yet he focused on the opponent before him. “You dirty Spaniard!” the captain repeated and Juan decided those would be his last words. With the agility of a finely honed fighter, Juan spun out of the way of the captain’s final swing and lunged forward, feeling his blade run through the man, never something he enjoyed, yet sometimes it was necessary. He had given the man a chance to live, to surrender and to release his slaves, but he refused.
Gasping from the pain of a fatal blow, the captain fell forward onto Juan when he pulled out his sword. Catching him, Juan gently lowered him to the ground, whispering in his ear before he died. “My name is Ferdinand Hapsburg, Prince of Asturias. The true heir of Spain, except they believe I am dead. Now my secret will die with you, the way it died with my kin when you killed them at Turnhout.”
Chapter Six
Kat swung her dagger, dropping one of the Dutch crew members to the deck just before he killed one of the rebelling Spaniards. When Juan had called his crew to board to save the slaves, they all turned on the Dutch and slew most of them before Juan’s crew could reach them.
Turning around, she saw Juan run the captain through and carefully lay him to the ground, then whisper something in his ear. The man’s eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open just as blood gurgled out and his life left him. A pained look crossed Juan’s face and she spared a moment to watch him while she could, without him knowing she was there, and if he found out, she would likely be his next victim. But if he thought he could start a fight and she wasn’t going to join, then he did not know her well. Besides, she detested men who kept other men as slaves and they all deserved what they got, by the look of the bedraggled Spanish crew.
The fight was over almost before it began, the Dutch not standing a chance with the Irish and Spanish teamed up against them. As the Spaniards slowly began to board Juan’s ship, she slipped into the crowd of men, blending in as best as she could.
