by Jill Haven
“I’m being set up somehow, I swear,” I insisted quietly.
I knew how much his restaurants meant to him, how he’d hesitated over us for exactly this sort of reason, and fear trailed icy fingers down my spine as I realized how much I had to lose if this evening didn’t turn around fast.
“How, August?” He surveyed my station. “We both know how this area works. You make it, you assemble it. You aren’t reliant on anyone else to touch it. And who out here—” he gestured to the other chefs “—do you think has the time to fuck around messing with your dishes? A kitchen is a busy place, it’s sometimes even a chaotic place…but I can’t let it be a careless place because one person isn’t pulling their weight.”
I twisted my hands in front of me and retied my apron as I looked at him. I didn’t have the answers he wanted to hear, and I couldn’t say anything he might not want to listen to because of the pressure building in my chest, making it hard to swallow or breathe.
Ewin watched me with the eyes of a stranger, a boss, before he shook his head. “This isn’t good enough, August. You need to step up your game and prove yourself because it’s starting to look like I made a mistake by putting my faith in you and your work. Maybe I let myself get blinded by other things, and that’s on me, but right now, you fix this mess and we salvage what we can of our opening night.”
I drew a shaky breath as he walked away and I prepared my next dish with trembling fingers. I tasted extra carefully, adding seasoning cautiously, until I was sure it was perfect. Then the dish passed down the line like all though others… with the exception of the fact that, unlike the others, I watched it go.
Jared, hands in his pockets, sauntered casually toward my plate, then removed his hand as he leaned against the table, blocking my dish from my view, but it didn’t matter. I’d seen something sprinkle from his hand as he lifted it from his pocket.
“Stop! Hold my plate!” I yelled. “I forgot something.”
The server holding it rolled her eyes. “Really, August?”
“Yeah, really.” I didn’t have time for attitude while my reputation and God alone knew what other parts of my life dangled on the line. Just when everything had come together.
I reached the servers’ side and stuck my fork into the dish I’d prepared and tasted only moments before. “Ugh. Oh, shit, what is that?” I gagged on the meat and spat it back into my hand.
She stared at me, her eyes wide. “Well, you made it.”
I grabbed the plate from her. “There’ll be a delay.” Then I rushed to Jared and stuck it right under his nose, where had to look at it. “What have you been doing to my food?”
He didn’t even lift an eyebrow. “Go away, Lennox.”
“I mean it, you’ve been sabotaging me all evening. What’s on this?”
“Oh my God, August. Your ego knows absolutely no bounds, does it? Well, how about this for some advice I picked up a little while ago? It goes a little something like this: instead of spending all your time coming after me, you should think about stepping up your game instead of trying to find excuses as to why you’re second-rate.” He nodded as if that was all he had to say on the matter, and I looked around, searching for someone, anyone, who had my back.
Jonas stepped forward and put his hand on my arm then opened his mouth as if about to wade in on the argument.
But Jared turned to me, a look of triumph shining his eyes. “Oh, you really should just pack your bags. It looks as if sleeping with the boss won’t save you from ruining his opening night.” His loud voice attracted the attention of every staff member in the kitchen, and my entire body froze in the hush that followed.
Jonas removed his hand from my arm. “Come on, dude. He’s not worth it,” he murmured as I turned away from Jared. “Let’s get you back to your station and fix this mess.”
But Jared wasn’t finished yet. “You know, once you get fired, and I take your place in the kitchen, maybe I can also take your place in Ewin’s bed? I don’t usually go for sloppy seconds, but I might make an exception for the delicious Mr. Storm and his shortcut to career progression.”
I breathed and began a slow count to ten, but I didn’t even reach three. I whirled back to Jared, my quick movement forcing him to take a step back. “Fuck you, Jared. You know what? You keep crap-talking about people sleeping their way to the top when everyone knows you used to get down on your knees and suck off the pastry chef to keep from being kicked out of the course. How many instructors did you go after?” I took a deep breath. “So, stop projecting your shitty behavior onto me and learn how to own the favors you definitely didn’t earn. Stop expecting everyone else to conform to your low standards, you stupid bastard.”
Before I saw him move, Jared reached out and slapped me across the face. The crack echoed around the kitchen where everyone had stopped cooking to watch the two of us argue it out.
In a flash, I sank my fingers into his hair, and grasped a handful while I pulled his head back. Then I glanced my fist off his chin. Hardly a knockout blow, but enough to ring his bell a little.
Jared reacted by bending over and thudding his head into my waist, taking me off my feet and onto the floor, where we continued to scuffle and trade blows.
“Dude, dude… August, get up.” I became dimly aware of Jonas grappling with me, trying to lift me from underneath Jared and back to my feet. “Help me out here,” he grunted.
“My office, now.” Ewin’s voice cracked across the kitchen like a whip. “Jonas, take August’s station; the rest of you, continue cooking.”
We both followed him to his office, although I barely saw the way through the tears in my eyes. Jared had ruined everything.
“Close the door.” Ewin dropped into his chair and looked at both of us, meeting my eyes first, then flicking his gaze to Jared. “Remove your aprons, you’re fired. I decided a long time ago, I wouldn’t allow drama in my kitchens. This is a professional space.” He shuffled some paperwork, the sound of his anger in the sharp rustling. “Jared, you may go. Your check will be in the mail.”
I waited for Jared to leave, wincing when the door clicked shut behind him. Only Ewin and I remained in the small space, and the scent of sweet warm honey and spice was almost too much to bear.
“I’m so sorry. He was putting something on my food. I saw him sprinkle—”
But Ewin shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, August. I knew this was a mistake from the start, and I let it continue. As soon as I knew I was attracted to you, I should have withdrawn my offer to hire you.”
I brought my hand to my mouth to stifle a sob, but Ewin continued.
“Perhaps Paris would have been the better choice for you, after all.” He pressed his lips together and watched me, his expression shuttered and unreadable.
My chest tightened, and my heart didn’t know whether to crack wide open or explode into an inferno capable of destroying the whole town. I gritted my teeth against either and unfastened my apron, my movements clunky and stiff, before I ripped it from around my waist, balled it up, and threw it at my boss, my lover…the man I thought I had forever.
“Go to hell, Ewin.”
There weren’t any more words, so I blew back through the kitchen and made the drive home in record time, with almost no memory of the journey. My phone buzzed an alert on the way there, but I ignored it until I’d closed and locked my front door behind me.
I didn’t even change from my whites. I just grabbed the throw I’d come to think of as mine and Ewin’s and wrapped myself in it. Then I tapped on my phone screen to read the latest gossip.
Everyone has their breaking point, and it seems our town good boy found his. Chin up, sweets. Every dog has its day.
18
Ewin
Every time I thought I’d apologized to my last customer, another one popped up. It was like playing whack-a-mole with people I actually wanted to admire and respect me. Well, less admiration, perhaps. More respect and payment. As I ran my last refund through the system,
my shoulders slumped. We’d made a loss. I’d expected that when so many orders started turning out wrong, but hopefully I’d pulled the customer service back enough to bring some of them back to STK Storm in the not too distant future.
I couldn’t afford this restaurant to go south like the one nearly did when I had my whole thing with Ted. Especially not now. I didn’t have the time to devote to a rescue with so much worry about Mom on my mind.
I shook my head as the last guest left, embarrassment washing through me as the bell above the door dinged for the last time. Who knew what they must have thought with all of the issues with the food and the noise from the kitchen? This wasn’t the image I wanted to project. Not this far into my career, not with so much riding on this launch.
After I kicked Jared and August out, the mood in the kitchen had shifted, becoming heavy and downbeat, but the food had improved, and the rest of the evening had gone pretty smoothly.
I glanced at my watch, 1:00 a.m. Pretty standard chef hours. As I made my way to the kitchen, I nodded to the waitstaff cleaning the tables ready to lay up tomorrow. “You had a good night, guys.” But I only caught one or two mumbles in reply, as if the mood of the evening had infected them as well.
I pushed through the swinging double doors and into the dense atmosphere of the kitchen. It was cooling now, the ranges all off, but the heaviness remained. Where I expected to find chatter and pumped, excited staff running on the adrenaline of a completed service, I was greeted by near silence and the clinking and scraping of cleaning.
Shit. Damn Jared and August. Their behavior had ruined the buzz for everyone. New ire licked at my gut as I considered the selfishness of their actions. And fresh blame coursed through me for my own hand in everything.
On the first night, I should have ensured everyone was competent at their workstations and feeling confident about the night ahead… but when Jonas appointed August as his assistant, I let my personal pride in him get in the way and I forgot to behave like his boss.
My hesitation to take charge properly had cost everyone the opening night they deserved, after all of their hard work during the weeks of training. But I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. I had to go back to trusting my gut, starting now.
“Can I just have everyone’s attention?” I adjusted my volume to the quiet of the space and waited until everyone looked up from their cleaning duties. “I just wanted to apologize for earlier. It has become very clear indeed that I made a huge error of judgment when I hired Jared and August as staff members to work here at STK Storm, Cedar Falls. In doing that, I disrespected all of you.” I paused, my mind flipping back to the potential damage to my brand. Then I dismissed those thoughts. I’d weathered worse.
Nobody moved. Instead, they all continued to stare at me, and for a moment, I fumbled for my next words. They were obviously angrier than I’d thought.
“Please don’t worry. I know this means a bit of extra work for everyone in the meantime, but I’ll have replacements arranged soon, and we can all go right on swimming.” I chuckled, but the silence from everyone else remained.
If anything, the heaviness in the atmosphere grew, and the anger in their eyes burned brighter.
“Chef…Ewin?” Jonas stepped forward.
I smiled automatically. I had a lot of time for Jonas. “Yes?” Maybe he even had a suggestion I could use to make the staff happier.
“I don’t agree with how you handled things tonight.” His words dropped into the kitchen like cold, hard stones.
I tilted my head, watching him, waiting for the next bit, but all the emotion I’d kept under tight rein in my gut loosened a little, threatening to unfurl, and I couldn’t lose it here, not now.
“August deserved a chance. He deserved you to hear him out. Have you ever known him to make a mistake he hasn’t instantly recovered from? Hell, he makes fewer mistakes than I do, and he’s still only my assistant.” He almost laughed, but the sound came out strangled, then he shook his head, disapproval radiating from every movement. “August knew those recipes better than he knew parts of himself, you know?” His voice turned pleading. “I’m not exaggerating when I say he knew exactly how each meal needed to smell and needed to taste so it went out perfect every time.”
I barely had time to acknowledge the slow trickle of shame and regret creeping a chill across my skin before a small chef from the back raised her hand. “Yes, Janelle?” I didn’t bother reminding her that she didn’t need to raise her hand to get my attention.
She pointed at the remnants of the returned dishes still littering August’s workstation, abandoned as Jonas worked to catch up on the backlog of orders to make and remake. “I don’t think August was wrong. I think Jared was doing something he shouldn’t have been.”
“Oh?” I could only manage the one word.
“He kept walking past August’s food after August sent it down the line, but I couldn’t catch him doing anything because we were all busy, you know?” She hesitated. “But I saw the same thing August did right before they argued. Jared took some sort of powder from his pocket and sprinkled it on August’s steak dish. Anyone who hadn’t seen his hand in his pocket would have just seen him seasoning something ready to go.”
I took a step back. “Are you sure?”
“Well, some scattered on the floor by the counter at the same time, so whatever you find there is what Jared put on that last dish, I think.”
I cast my gaze across the tiled floor until I noticed the tiny black grounds on the floor. From my angle, it could have been coffee, it could have been garden soil, it could have been much worse than either of those.
“Jared has been jealous of August since our first year of school, and he’s just never let that whole thing go.” Suddenly people were telling me things, but it was late…far too late.
“How do you mean, Abigail?” A headache started to pound behind my eyes.
“He’s been trying to provoke August since we started, running his mouth, and trying to goad August into exactly what happened.” She folded her arms and tilted her chin up, the movement defiant. “And I know you think you did the right thing, but you don’t know the whole story.”
“What’s the whole story?” But my gut twisted. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the extent of my fuck-up.
She took a quick breath then her words came out in a rush. “Jared told all of us that August has been sleeping with you to get ahead.”
Heat flooded my cheeks at the same time as my stomach unknotted and just dropped away, leaving me hollow and empty. I sucked in a shaky breath. Fucking Jared. Fucking, fucking Jared… I couldn’t even. I blinked against sudden hot tears.
When I saw August and Jared on the floor of the kitchen, I hadn’t wanted excuses. I hadn’t even wanted reasons. I hadn’t wanted anything but to avoid a return to the same situation I’d found myself in with Ted. And now I’d ruined everything.
I barked out a harsh laugh and rubbed my hand over the back of my neck. “Shit. I’ve fucked up bad.”
I’d even known August wouldn’t hurt me. His familiar, comforting scent had told me so, but my irrational head full of nerves and anxiety had overruled my heart, and now I’d lost everything.
I sank to a sitting position on the floor, bracing my back against the cool steel panel of one of the worktables. “Has anyone gotten any more bad news they need to share with me tonight? Any world wars broken out on our opening night? Alien invasion?” I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the ache there.
Jonas cleared his throat. “You know, none of us cares about what Jared said. He’s an asshole. We all know August has earned his spot here. He proved himself time and time again.” He waved a hand in my direction. “And whatever there is between the two of you, well, it isn’t really our business. We trust you, and we trust August.”
“And we like him.”
I chuckled. “Thanks, Janelle. Believe it or not, I…like him, too.” My heart crumpled into a tiny ball, folding in on it
self inside my chest as if trying to spare me the pain of my own stupidity.
I stood up and dusted off my pants with my hands. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me the truth.” Not that I knew what I’d do with it. “And thank you all for staying so late to make sure I got my reality check.”
“Well, we thought you needed one.” Jonas smiled, but the lines at the corners of his eyes remained tense and strained.
“What’s going to happen now?”
I chuckled, but it held none of its usual feeling. “God, I don’t know, Abigail.”
“I think you know what you need to do,” Jonas supplied.
And he was right. I did. I fucking knew exactly what I had to do, but doing it meant facing rejection, and I didn’t know if I could deal with another person in my life withdrawing from me and going to a place where I could no longer reach them—where love wasn’t enough to fix things
I blew out a sigh and met the expectant gazes in front of me. If willpower was enough, this team had enough of it to power a small town and countless love stories. “I need to go and talk to August.” I glanced at the wall, searching for the clock face and its familiar tick. “I mean, it’s late now, and he probably wants some alone time to cool off, but I need to see him and see if I can fix things. Tomorrow, I’ve got to try to make things right.”
My voice sounded steady, sure. But I wasn’t, and as I looked at the team, none of them exuded confidence, either.
The hollow feeling in my chest returned as I slid my car into park outside August’s apartment building. I glanced at the windows, all soulless and bleak voids, perfectly mirroring my feelings. I scrubbed my hands over my face, and the rasp of skin across my beard—slightly longer than usual—filled the car.
With a cup of coffee in each hand, I crossed the parking lot to the metal steps leading to August’s front door. I’d barely slept the previous night, so the coffee was more than a peace offering. It wasn’t even my first cup, but I didn’t drink any more before I saw August in case I just seemed wired and jumpy and messed things up further.
