by Baxter, Cole
Mary stopped Ruby from giving her credit card to the woman by the register. Then she moved them away so as not to be overheard.
"Mary?"
"You know that I appreciate everything you are doing for me, but you really don't need to do this," Mary said, hoping her friend wouldn't take this the wrong way.
"I know I don't have to. I want to," she replied, returning to the cash register and giving her card away with the big smile.
Mary groaned inwardly, following after her. "That's too much money," Mary said in half a voice, leaning toward Ruby, not wanting to cause a scene.
"It's my money, so just be a good friend and say thank you," Ruby snapped, getting disproportionately angry for a moment.
It was such a difference from her previous mood that Mary and the woman working there both recoiled.
Just as fast as it appeared, the emotion disappeared and Ruby was her radiant, smiling self again. However, the damage was done and Mary felt beyond dumbfounded. What just happened? Did I hit a nerve? Did I hurt her feelings? She started to stress.
Perhaps Ruby was right. She was being rude when the other woman did nothing wrong. The fact that Mary felt uncomfortable had nothing to do with Ruby. Those were her own insecurities, and she shouldn't project them and make other people unhappy. Realizing that, she started to feel guilty.
"You're right, I'm sorry," she said with utmost sincerity. "It's just that I'm not used to all of this." She waved vaguely all around them, hoping that her meaning was clear.
It was. Ruby's smile grew wider. "Well, it's time for you to get used to it because I plan on spoiling you rotten."
Hearing her say that, Mary choked up and had to fight back the tears at the corner of her eyes, feeling as though something like that would only be said by a close relative, or even a mother, with affection. Luckily, Ruby didn't notice. She offered her the bags with the items she’d just purchased. "Here you go."
"Thank you, Ruby," Mary said, accepting them.
"You are most welcome," she replied, taking her by the elbow and steering her toward the exit. "Now, let's go and have some delicious pasta. I’m ravenous."
Chapter Nine
“Look at you," Nick snapped, looking at her with eyes that were filled with hate, loathing, and disgust. It broke Mary's heart to see him like this. Where did that caring man disappear to? Why doesn't he love me anymore? He looked as though he regretted ever meeting her. Like he wanted her to disappear.
Like always, Mary tried to get away from him, yet he followed her around the house spouting all kinds of insults at her expense, bringing tears to her eyes. Finally, he cornered her in the bedroom.
"Please don't," she cried out, and Nick ignored her pleas, wrapping his hands around her neck and starting to squeeze.
This is it, she realized as her heartbeats sped up like crazy. Nick will be the end of me.
No, she insisted, trying to fight him off. Unfortunately, she was just too weak.
No, please don't.
And then something started to happen. Nick's face started to change. If she weren't already beyond scared and in shock, Mary would certainly completely freak out at seeing his face melt.
All of a sudden, it wasn't Nick standing in front of her anymore. It was Ruby, and she was smiling. Mary felt so relieved, her legs felt weak and Ruby kept her up.
"Look at you," Ruby said right before she hugged her.
At first, Mary returned the embrace with all her might, feeling happy her friend was there and had somehow saved her from Nick.
Thank God.
But then she didn't let go, squeezing harder and harder, not allowing Mary to catch her breath.
"You are perfect," she said.
Mary tried to move away and couldn't. She was still standing in that damn corner and Ruby was hugging her so tightly that Mary began to be panicky again. Pretty soon, she started having serious troubles taking a proper breath.
"Ruby, please let go," Mary managed to choke out, her throat feeling raw and burning after Nick’s abuse. "I can't breathe."
In return, Ruby held her even tighter. "You are a perfect friend. I love you so much."
Why won't she let me go?
Mary felt dizzy, among other things. What is happening? Please help, she prayed.
"Ruby, this is making me very uncomfortable and I want you to let me go." Not to mention she was getting seriously close to cracking a rib if she didn't pass out first.
"I need you to let me go now. I can't breathe because of you," she repeated, raising her voice.
Ruby let her go, and Mary felt heady from all the air she finally had at her disposal, not to mention the delight that the pressure was finally gone.
This is heaven. Then she looked at her friend and her heart sank.
Ruby's eyes were full of anger. She knew that look very well. She'd seen it hundreds of times on Nick. Not you too.
"You are no friend at all," Ruby accused. "You don’t care about me."
"That’s not true."
"You are rotten to the core. Nick was right."
"I'm sorry, Ruby. Please understand," she tried to explain.
"No, you betrayed me," she screamed with all her might.
Mary woke up gasping for air and covered in sweat.
It's all right. It wasn't real, she tried to reassure herself and her raging heart.
It had been a while since she'd had a nightmare. It was just that this time, there was a twist. And a very disturbing one at that. This was the first time Ruby was a part of it, and the nightmare really left an impression on Mary, to say the least. She couldn't stop thinking about it all day. She tormented herself with all kinds of thoughts. What could all this mean? Why her? Why like that? Overall, it was maddening.
Ruby sensed something was wrong when they talked over the phone, and Mary played dumb and insisted everything was okay.
"I'm very excited about the party."
"Me too," Mary replied absentmindedly.
"Another one of my dear friends confirmed her attendance."
"I'm glad."
Later on, she confided everything to Doctor Carson. She just couldn't shake the feeling that dream awoke in her and simply had to share.
"Are you sure it was her?" he asked after she finished describing the dream.
"Yes, without a shadow of a doubt."
"And this was the first time you've had this particular dream?"
Mary thought about that for a moment. She'd dreamed of Nick tormenting her in one way or another many times. Was this the first time Ruby was there? "I believe so," she replied eventually. "I mean, if I had this nightmare before, I would certainly remember it."
"You appear really shaken up by it," he observed.
That was because she was.
"Do you feel like Ruby is smothering you?"
Mary expected some form of this question to arise, so she'd spent the whole day trying to figure that out.
If she didn't, then what was the point of that dream? And if she did, then what did that say about her and her unwillingness to break the friendship? On and on it went inside her head, giving her a mighty migraine.
Mary wasn't sure. It was true they spoke on the phone daily, usually for hours, and they went for walks, lunches, and all kinds of events, and the latest outing was shopping for the party.
Nevertheless, wasn't it normal to spend time with friends? The thing that did stand out for Mary was the fact that Ruby had offered to take care of her Nick problem. Once again, she couldn't say whether that was normal.
In the end, she listened to her heart.
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it does feel a little bit clingy." She made a small pause to collect her thoughts before continuing. At the same time, she felt like she couldn't judge Ruby for wanting to hang out. And she certainly wasn't about to dispose of her one and only friend simply because Ruby was a little bit lonely and perhaps even desperate. God knew, Mary was the same way.
She told as much to Dr. Carson.
They all had issues, one way or the other, and perhaps this was Ruby's. Mary would be a rotten friend if she couldn't accept that.
"All right. If that is your judgment, then I'll stand by you," Dr. Carson replied, hearing her out. "However, please, always stay cautious of your feelings and intuition," he advised. "When you’re feeling confused, your intuition will often steer you in the right direction."
"Honestly, Doctor, I think my intuition fell asleep or is in a coma for all the help it provides," she joked.
He looked at her with an amused expression on his face. "You are more intuitive and stronger than you believe. I've already told you that," he insisted. "It's just a matter of listening to it."
Yes, he had said that to her a couple of times, and maybe someday, she would believe him.
"In this case, regarding Ruby, I believe that is of utmost importance."
"Why do you say that?" she asked since his words confused her a little.
"Not to alarm you," he emphasized. "You might be right about Ruby's loneliness, but to me, based on what you've told me, she seems a little unstable."
"Unstable?" It was hard not to get alarmed after something like that.
"Yes, however at this point, it's just a precaution. I clearly don't have enough information to make any assumptions. It's just that it's better to be safe than sorry."
"Oh, okay."
Dr. Carson certainly left her with a lot of things to stress about on her way home. She trusted him more than anyone else in the world, and he'd already helped her immensely, yet she believed he was way off regarding Ruby. It was true that she was clearly eccentric, and her circumstances, not to mention disease, had shaped her into the person she was today. Was she unstable? Maybe she was in the same manner Mary was.
That night, the nightmare made a comeback, and once again, she woke up traumatized beyond measure. This is ridiculous, she fumed, getting out of bed for a glass of water.
For the first time in forever, she had a real, true friend who cared about her, and Mary's crazy mind wouldn't let her be.
Don't I deserve something good, positive in my life? Don't I deserve to be happy? she asked the heavens.
"Of course I do," she replied to her reflection in the toaster.
Returning to bed, she forced herself to sleep. Miraculously, the rest of her slumber was dreamless.
The next day, she ignored a phone call from Ruby. She was working at the moment, but that wasn't the reason she didn't pick up.
Truth be told, she didn't know why she didn't answer. She disagreed with Dr. Carson, but all the same, here she was ignoring her. Realizing that, she immediately started feeling guilty for such behavior. It was rude and cowardly, and neither of those qualities were something Mary wanted to cultivate. Mary sent Ruby a text promising she would call her back as soon as possible since she was busy at the moment and in the middle of her work, and that wasn't a lie.
Alisa was having some serious troubles at the firm since their system crashed, and she'd lost a bunch of data in numerous files. Some of it Mary had to do from scratch and others she had on backup, so it was just a matter of finding them and passing them along. Overall, none of it was hard work, just time-consuming.
Being so immersed in her work meant she couldn't stress about anything else, which was a true blessing in disguise. When she ran out of work, that was when the real problems started. Mary's mind relished her moments of idleness.
Her list of the things to worry about kept growing. Mary worried about Alisa the least, although it was a constant cause of distress for her. Understandably, Nick was a permanent and the biggest worry in her life. Unfortunately, Ruby had started to be one as well. And that saddened her because she really cherished their newfound friendship.
The biggest conundrum was that Mary couldn't decipher what the real problem was and what was just a product of her mind. To top it off, Dr. Carson's words also confused her.
Basically, she was walking in circles with no hope of finding a way out. At least, not on her own. She made a mental note to discuss all that with her therapist in their next session.
Right before Nick returned to the city, Mary had been feeling good about herself. Not great, not cured by a long shot, but she was considering cutting back her therapy sessions from three times a week to two. And Ruby played a role in her overall improved mental state. Not to diminish Dr. Carson's efforts. She was very blessed to have found him. It was just that it was nice having someone else in her life apart from him or her boss.
Now she was strung out, on the verge of snapping with Nick's return, and with the nightmares and everything else Mary felt like not even three times a week would be enough anymore.
I wonder what Dr. Carson would think if I just moved into his office, she joked.
If this continues, I will spend all my livelihood on therapy, she thought sarcastically. Then she chastised herself for having such thoughts since mental health had no price.
Blissfully, she received another urgent message from Alisa and had to refocus and return to work.
Unfortunately, knowing herself, this was just a small distraction and her mind was going to continue to torment her at the next convenient moment.
Lucky me.
Chapter Ten
Mary had another hectic day. Alisa's firm didn't manage to fix all the problems. They suspected it was some kind of a cyberattack orchestrated against them, so Mary's boss had to work from home, for the time being, using an old laptop and her mobile phone to conduct business. All that meant Mary had to do things she usually didn't. Not that she minded. Alisa paid her handsomely for that and promised a bonus for all the trouble.
Mary was grateful for the workload since she could really use the extra money for the bills. It would be nice to finally be debt-free. Though being completely debt-free in this day and age felt like a pipe dream.
Her food supply was running low as well. If things didn't start to change pretty soon, she would break a Guinness record in eating ramen noodles every day for lunch. It was a true miracle she wasn't sick of eating them already. Nick hated them, like everything else that had carbs, and always grumbled when she made them, saying they were going straight to her thighs and belly. Now she could eat as much as she pleased.
Is that a good or a bad thing? she wondered. Remembering how Nick had constantly made her feel bad for all kinds of reasons—her looks, her cooking, her housekeeping—she concluded it was definitely a good thing. Nick’s leaving her was the best thing that could have happened to her. That thought made her pause. That was the first time she'd thought it. And the realization that she actually meant it made her smile.
In that name, she planned on celebrating with a bowl of soup as soon as she finished with her work.
"Finally," she mumbled, almost ten hours after waking up and starting to work, powering off her computer. She'd finally finished everything and was feeling beyond spent. Mary instantly stood up, trying to stretch her stiff limbs. Despite everything, she liked days like this because it made her feel quite accomplished. Only then did she realize how hungry she was. Mary had completely forgotten to eat all day while working.
That just means the blue dress is going to suit me perfectly now, she joked, going to the kitchen to fix herself a bowl of noodles in haste. As she waited for the water to boil, she absentmindedly glanced toward the calendar and froze.
I can't believe I forgot what day it is, she chastised herself. In all this craziness, Mary had forgotten that today was her grandmother's birthday.
Finishing her meal in record time, she dressed and ran out the door. She always paid her Nana a visit on her birthday, and today wasn't going to be any different.
Mary didn't like how late in the day it was, but that didn't stop her from going. If only Dr. Carson could see me now, he would be so proud, she joked.
Two train rides later, she arrived at the cemetery where Rosetta Wright was buried.
"Hey, Nan," Mary greeted, plopping down on the ground
next to the tombstone. "Happy birthday." She placed the fresh flowers she'd bought, replacing the old ones.
"There, don't they look lovely?" Her grandmother always liked flowers. "And I got you this as well." Mary pulled out a Tootsie Roll from her pocket and put it next to the flowers. Her Nan had a sweet tooth, and Mary was the same way.
"I'm sorry I haven't visited you as much of late. I've been really busy. And Nick is back, so I'm not having the best of times. On the bright side, I made a friend, Ruby. I think you would like her . . ."
Mary spent almost an hour with her grandmother, filling her in on all her recent adventures and misfortunes, as well as her hopes and dreams, not that she had many.
Mary really missed her Nan. She was the only family she had in this world. Her grandmother had died of cancer when Mary was twenty-one.
The funny thing, yet not in a comical sense, was that she had never liked Nick, but she respected Mary's decision and stood by her on their wedding day. Mary believed the feelings of contempt were mutual. She was just too young and in love to think about that back then.
At times, Mary wondered what would have been if her grandmother had forbidden her from seeing Nick or stood against the marriage.
Probably nothing good, she thought, fearing the outcome would have been the same. Being in love, Mary would have done anything to be with Nick, including disobeying her grandmother, cutting ties with the only person she had in this life. And that was truly tragic and made Mary sad.
At the same time, who knew? If her grandmother had lived, perhaps things would have turned out a bit differently. At the very least, Mary wouldn't feel so alone at the moment.
"I really, really miss you," she told her, wiping a few tears from her face. "And I love you." She could almost hear her grandmother saying that back to her.
"I'll come again soon," Mary promised and got back up on her feet. After she kissed the cold stone, she started walking toward the exit. The sky was starting to darken and Mary picked up her pace.
