by Elena Graf
“Thank you. You’re so attentive. You’d make a great wife.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, too bad Barry didn’t appreciate you. What was he thinking?”
Maggie considered her words before responding. Barry was such a sensitive topic. “I never knew what he was thinking,” she finally said. “Maybe that’s why I didn’t catch on right away when he began the affair.”
“Did you love him?” asked Liz.
Again, Maggie hesitated. This was dangerous territory, but she answered honestly. “I thought so at the time, and on some level, I did love him. Now, I realize I married him because everyone thought it was such a good idea.”
“But you stayed with him all those years.”
“I took my marriage vows seriously.”
“Good little Catholic girl that you are.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“If you say so.” Liz plucked the packets off the grill with tongs. “Needs to cool a minute. Otherwise, dinner is ready.”
On their outdoor table, they ate their campfire meal right out of the foil. The shrimp was juicy, the sausage spicy hot, and the corn tender and sweet.
“If I knew campfire cooking was this good, I’d let you make it for me every night.” Maggie wiped her hands on a piece of paper towel. She couldn’t take her eyes off the amazing sunset over the bay. “Look at that. How gorgeous! Thank you for bringing me here.”
“I told you this is a special place.”
“Maybe we should just move into this little cabin and hide from the world.”
“Except the campground is closing next week, so they’ll probably throw us out.”
Maggie slipped her hand under Liz’s hoodie and affectionately rubbed her back. “Then I guess we’d need to go home. Your house feels cozy too, especially when you make a fire at night.”
“If you’re going to be home during the day, I’ll have to teach you to make a fire. It can get chilly in the house during the winter.” Liz wrapped up the foil that had enclosed their dinner so the stiff wind wouldn’t blow it away.
“You really do want me to stay.” Maggie drew back a little so she could see Liz’s face. “But what about my life in New York?”
Liz shrugged. “People move all the time.”
“Maybe you should ask me to marry you.” Maggie smiled to let Liz know she was teasing. In fact, she was only half teasing, and she was very curious to hear what Liz would say.
Liz eyed her for moment. “Don’t you think we should have sex first to see if we’re still compatible?” The glint in Liz’s eye let Maggie know she wasn’t serious.
But Maggie was when she said, “Yes, I suppose we should.”
“Finish your dinner,” Liz replied briskly. “I’m on KP duty tonight.”
“KP duty! I haven’t heard that expression since my Dad was still alive.”
“I think I got that expression from him. He liked me.”
“Yes, he did.”
After cleaning up from dinner, Liz built up the fire because twilight had brought a rapid drop in temperature. Maggie put on her parka and pulled her chair closer to fire.
Liz huddled deeper into her hoodie. “It’s getting dark. Maybe we should tell ghost stories.”
“Maybe you should get your guitar.”
Liz went into the cabin to get it. She strummed a few chords, then launched into the introduction to “Who Knows Where the Time Goes.”
“I thought you hated those old Judy Collins songs.”
“Well, you’re back, and you haven’t left yet, so today, I don’t mind them. Go on. Sing.”
Maggie began to sing. Liz joined in for the chorus. Their voices blended, interwove, separated, and joined again.
Maggie smiled at Liz. “I’ve had many singing partners, but no one has ever sung that song with me like you do. Your harmony is perfect.” She reached for the wine bottle to refill their glasses but found it empty. “I think we need to open more wine.”
Liz went into the cabin to get another bottle, and Maggie picked up the guitar. When she finished the song, she saw that she was surrounded by faces illuminated by the campfire. They watched like curious forest creatures as they stood at the edge of the patio surrounding the fire.
Maggie beckoned to them. “Well, come on. You’re welcome to join us.”
An elderly couple took the two remaining chairs, while a young couple with a small boy went back to their cabin to get some sling chairs. When Liz saw they had company, she opened another bottle of wine to share.
The Judy Collins theme continued, but Maggie interwove it with the music of James Taylor, Carly Simon, Carole King, Joni Mitchell, and Joan Baez. The applause was enthusiastic. Other people came, bringing sling chairs, firewood, and more alcohol. Someone brought a bag of popcorn; another, a tin of cookies. When Maggie took a break, Liz led the group in classic Peter, Paul and Mary songs. As the impromptu concert wound down, Maggie began to sing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” alternating verses with Liz. Everyone joined in for the chorus. Eventually, the alcohol ran out, and the fire had died down to embers. The other campers began to drift way, calling “good night” as they faded into the dark.
“I suppose we should turn in too,” said Liz. “Great concert, Maggie. You certainly love to perform.”
“I do. I admit it. But you were great too. We should start an act and sing in pubs.”
“Oh, Maggie, any opportunity for an audience!”
Liz banked the fire. She offered her arm to Maggie as they headed up to the cabin. After Liz got ready for bed, Maggie went in to wash up and brush her teeth. When she emerged again, the door to the bunk room was shut tight.
Maggie sighed and got into bed, surprised to find it as spacious and comfortable as any in a luxury hotel. She settled down to sleep, but when she repositioned her pillow, she was transfixed by the glowing sliver of light under the pocket door to the bunk room. Obviously, Liz was still awake. Maggie pictured her scrunched up in the tiny bunk, her eyes glued to her iPad. It couldn’t be comfortable in that cramped space. She regretted going along with the arrangement, which now seemed like such an overstated defense against the possibility of sex.
She wondered if Liz ever imagined making love to her. Maggie, of course, had devoted quite a bit of mental time to that subject. She’d drawn on her last experience with a woman, but that was years ago, and the memory of it had long since faded. On the other hand, the forty-year-old memories of making love with Liz had never dimmed. The memories of youth, lacking competition from other experiences, are always so vivid.
Maggie touched herself. She was already wet just from thinking about Liz making love to her. A few caresses brought the sensation into sharper focus. Yes, she was ready, but where was her lover? Reading medical journals? No. Not tonight.
Maggie knocked on the pocket door and pushed it open. There was Liz, reading on her iPad exactly as she’d imagined. She was still wearing her baseball cap and a pair of woolly hiking socks. She looked comfortable and boyish in an oversized T-shirt and men’s knit boxers with a button fly.
“Come out of there,” ordered Maggie, “I won’t have you sleeping in that tiny bunk like you’re a child. There’s plenty of room in the bed.”
“Are you sure?” asked Liz, pulling her knees practically up to her chin to get her long legs around the ladder to the top bunk. “I’m fine in here.”
“No, you’re not fine. Let’s go.” Maggie pointed in the direction of the bed.
Liz plugged in her iPad to charge, hung her ball cap on a peg by the door and took off her socks.
“Thanks for sharing the bed,” she said, getting in beside Maggie. “I have to admit it was a little tight in there.” Liz moved to the far side and made herself small at the very edge “Good night.”
Maggie, lying beside her, was amazed that
Liz sounded ready to nod off, while she was completely awake and stimulated. She molded herself around Liz, who became very still and quiet. Maggie pressed her breasts against Liz’s back. Surely, that would give her the idea, but Liz didn’t move a muscle. Maggie hooked her finger in the waistband of the boxer shorts and snapped it.
“These need to go away.”
Fortunately, Liz didn’t argue because Maggie had no idea what she would say if she did. With a sigh, Liz pulled down the boxers and dropped them on the floor.
“I can’t wait any longer. I need you to touch me.” Maggie raised her nightgown and guided Liz’s hand between her legs.
“Right for the crotch,” Liz whispered, teasing Maggie’s ear with her tongue. “Don’t you believe in foreplay?”
“What do you think we’ve being doing all this time?” Maggie managed to say despite the undulating waves of pleasure bought on by Liz’s touch. She closed her eyes as Liz gently explored her with her fingers.
“You’re so ready. What were you doing before I got here?”
“What do you think?”
Maggie felt Liz smile against her cheek, which made her smile too. She lost the smile and gasped a little when the exploring fingers found their way inside. She rolled her hips to invite them deeper.
“Don’t you even want a kiss?” Liz added another finger and went deeper still.
“Yes, I’d like a kiss,” murmured Maggie, focusing on the gentle drag of Liz’s fingers deep inside her. Liz moved over her and began to explore her mouth with her tongue. Maggie thought of honey.
Maggie broke the kiss. “Fuck me.”
“I thought you hated that word.”
“Oh, I like it in bed, when I’m actually doing it. And if I don’t tell you, you’ll be too gentle.”
Liz’s moved more aggressively, her tongue in her mouth, her fingers deep inside her, expanding, opening her with each stroke. They withdrew and began caressing her outside, gentle, then intense, next gentle again. They slipped back inside. Tease, strike, caress, strike again. Maggie felt faint, but at the same time, completely conscious of relentless assault on her senses. When she was least expecting it, the orgasm flowed through her, flashing the skin above her breasts and making it prickle. The sensitivity made her flinch from her lover’s touch, but still the teasing fingers came back for more until Maggie had to beg her to stop.
When the spasms below finally subsided, Maggie tugged on Liz’s T-shirt. “Take this off. I want to feel your skin on mine.”
Obediently, Liz sat up and took off her shirt. Maggie pulled her nightgown over her head. When Liz took her in her arms, Maggie wanted to weep from the pleasure of feeling their bare skin finally touch.
Finally, after forty years.
“I’ve missed you.” Maggie rubbed her cheek against Liz’s breast.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Your breasts are larger.”
Liz chuckled softly. “So are yours.” She reached up to touch Maggie’s breast, kneading the nipple gently between her fingers. She caressed the breast with her fingertips. Maggie heard a sudden, sharp uptake of air. Not quite a gasp. Liz’s body tensed. The caresses stopped for a split second, and Liz’s touch became more deliberate as her fingers found their way around the breast. They moved to the other breast and prodded it in the same way. The exploration felt almost…clinical. Liz sighed and laid her head against Maggie’s shoulder. Maggie lazily stroked her hair, which smelled faintly of wood smoke from the campfire. Her fingers wove the waves into ringlets.
“Liz, are you going to let me make love to you?”
“Yes!” Liz raised herself on her elbow. She kissed Maggie so profoundly it felt like she was trying to inhale her soul. Liz finally released her mouth. “You are so beautiful. Just as I remember.” She delicately tested the cleft in her chin with her finger.
“Oh, Liz, your memory is foggy. Our bodies have changed. We were perfect then.”
“We are perfect now.”
“Let me make love to you. Come, sweetie, lie back. I remember what you like.” She said it confidently as if no time had passed and nothing had changed. Her desire for Liz was so intense and her feelings so strong that nothing else mattered.
Liz used her elbows to pull herself up on the pillows. Maggie kissed her breasts and her little tummy, dawdling along the way to offer little kisses, treating herself to the slightly salt taste of Liz’s skin. After a leisurely exploration of her lover’s body, Maggie insinuated her narrow shoulders between her thighs and nudged them apart. She blew gently. Liz shivered. Maggie smiled at the memory of that long-ago time, when she’d given Liz Anaïs Nin’s diaries to educate her about the possibility of oral sex. The memory competed with a present, so fully real, it was rubbing against her skin and pulsing in her ears.
Liz jumped at the barest flick of her tongue, exactly like that first time. Tentatively, Maggie tasted the woman who had awakened her to the love of women. The taste was strange, yet so familiar—salty, tangy, a hint of musk—the scent of something mysterious soon to be revealed. Maggie smiled as she found the rhythm. A delicate approach worked best with Liz. She was a person who was easily moved by small gestures, the lightest touch, the gentlest kiss. Maggie felt strong fingers combing through her hair, urging her on. “Yes, don’t stop. Please don’t ever stop.” The climax came moments later, but it was powerful. Maggie struggled to hold on as Liz’s back arched.
When it was done, she resettled herself into Liz’s arms. “So quick. Just like when we were young. Do you need more?”
“Not right now. I’m too sensitive.” Liz’s arms, wrapped around her shoulders, suggested her strength. She kissed Maggie on the top of her head. “Let’s sleep now.”
***
When Maggie awoke, she found the other side of the bed cold and empty. Confused, she sat up. The door to the bunk room was open, and the light was off. The cabin was silent except for the soft hum of the refrigerator. She became aware of an orange glow through the window. She jumped out of bed and looked out.
Liz sat by the fire ring. She had built up the fire, and it was blazing and spitting sparks into the air. Bundled in her parka, hood up against the cold, Liz sat with her back to the cabin.
Maggie threw on her robe and went out to the front deck. “Liz?” she called, but Liz didn’t turn around. The brisk wind off the water roared past Maggie’s ears. “Liz!” she called again, louder this time.
Liz couldn’t hear her, she realized, over the sound of the wind and the ocean. Maggie walked down the path to the campfire. In its light, she could see the water lapping against the shore, barely a few feet away.
Maggie sat down beside Liz.
“It’s after three. What are you doing out here?”
“I’m thinking.”
“Come inside. It’s so cold.”
Liz glanced back at the cabin. “Yes, it’s cold.” She got up, slid her arms out of her parka and draped it around Maggie’s shoulders.
“No, then you’ll freeze.”
“The fire is warm when you get close enough.”
The parka was warm from Liz’s body. It smelled of her, not an unpleasant smell, just her familiar scent below a hint of laundry detergent. Maggie hugged the parka closer. “Thank you,” she said. “You’re very kind.” She snuggled into the parka, and eventually, she felt warmer. “What are thinking about?”
There was a long pause. “The past…and the future.”
“Are you sorry we made love?”
Liz turned to her. The tenderness in her eyes was painful. “How could I be sorry? I’ve wanted you for weeks. Years. Forty, actually.”
“But it changes things.”
“Yes.” Liz nodded. “It was more than sex.”
“Are you sure that’s all right? You seem so upset.” Maggie anxiously reached for her hand.
Liz gazed though
tfully into her eyes. “I’m glad we finally made love. I knew it was going to happen and waiting for it was excruciating.” She turned back to the fire, moving closer for the warmth.
“So, what’s the matter?”
Liz stared into the fire. “All these years we’ve been apart…and now, who knows how much time we have left.”
“Liz, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Liz put her arm around her. Maggie could feel that she was trembling.
“Come inside. It’s too cold out here.” Maggie got up and reached for Liz’s hand. Without a word of argument, Liz got up and followed her. She put her arm around Maggie’s waist as they made their way up the path to the cabin.
Maggie reluctantly took off Liz’s parka. The brisk wind and humidity from the water had been bone-chilling. She shrugged off her robe and got into bed.
Liz pulled her sweatshirt over her head. Her breasts fell loose, and Maggie longed to touch them. In a moment, Liz was in bed, covering Maggie’s shivering body with her own. Liz’s skin felt merely cool. Like her personality, her body temperature was steady and reliable. Maggie opened her legs wider so that her lover could lie between them.
“I’m not too heavy?” Liz gingerly let down her weight.
“No, it feels wonderful. Hold me tight and warm me up.”
After Liz began to kiss her, the temperature rose rapidly.
***
Maggie felt someone gently shaking her arm. She opened her eyes to see that it was still dark. “Wake up, Maggie. We’re going to watch the sun rise from Cadillac mountain. Here put these on.” Liz laid a pair of heavy sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt at the foot of the bed. “Come on. You can crawl back into bed when we get back.”
“You’re crazy.” Maggie reluctantly sat up.
“I know. That’s why you love me.”
“I do love you, or I wouldn’t be doing this.” Maggie pulled on the sweats over her naked body. “Promise I can go back to bed when we get back.”
