by Royal Blue
“Yeah, that’s me. I used to box,” I reply.
“Why’d you stop?”
I swallow. I don’t want to lie to her, but I don’t want to see that pride and awe disappear from her eyes. There’s no way I’m telling her that I killed a man in the ring. “I had to step away,” I say.
“I bet you were great. I wish I could’ve seen you fight. I’m going to be a fighter when I grow up. Andres says I’m fast, I just have a bad temper. I’m working on that,” she says with a sage nod.
“A level head always makes for a great fighter. That’s what my daddy use to tell me.”
“Your dad used to watch you fight?”
“He was my first trainer.” I can’t help but smile. My daddy was the best trainer I had. After he died, I used to think about what he would tell me if he were still in my corner.
I miss him so much. I wish I still had his advice in my life. There’s so much I want to ask him about.
“Did you stop fighting because he’s not here anymore?”
“No, it was something else.”
“Did you stop loving it?”
Her eyes search my face as she pries for an answer. I give a tight smile and shake my head. Her brows furrow.
“I still love the sport very much.”
“Oh. I bet your dad was proud of you. I wish I had a dad to be proud of me,” she says. Her face grows sad, and she looks down into her lap. “I’ll just have to make myself proud. I’m never going to give up on fighting. I love it. I’ll never give up on something I love. Not like people do me.”
This kid has me bleeding out in here. I stand and round my desk. Squatting before her, I lift her head.
“You’re right not to give up on what you love. It’s a wise decision. You’re right, life gets tough sometimes, but sometimes amazing things happen too. One day you’re going to look up and realize you have so many people that love you. So many people that will never give up on you,” I say.
“Yeah, I hope so,” she says with so much longing.
“Go on out and tell Andres I said you can start training again.”
Her brown face lights like the sun. She leaps at me to wrap her arms around my neck. I hug her back tightly, giving a silent thanks to her for showing me the errors that have stilted my life.
When I release her, she jumps from her seat and rushes for the door. I return to my seat, staring blindly at the paperwork before me. So many thoughts are running through my head.
“Yo, Beau.”
I look up.
“I’d like to ride the horses again if we can,” she says as she peeks back into my office.
Ah fuck. We’ve been so busy, I never scheduled time to take her. I chide myself for dropping the ball.
“You have a birthday coming, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a date, darlin’,” I promise.
She beams another smile and disappears from sight, but not my mind. I get nothing done for the rest of the day as Billy’s words echo in my head.
I’m not a quitter… I’ll never give up on something I love.
Chapter 22
In the Ring Again
Angel
“I’ve been standing here for about an hour,” he says over his shoulder.
I stand with my hands in the pockets of my slacks, staring at Beau as he stares at the ring. The lights in the gym are all off except for the ones over it. He’s dressed in shorts and boxing boots. He still has the fit body of a boxer. He looks like he belongs inside that ring. “What’s stopping you?”
“It’s the moment of truth. Once I step in that ring I’ll know the truth. I’ll no longer be retired by choice. If I can’t handle it… I’ll know… it’ll be done,” he says.
“Or you could step in and feel like you’ve finally gone home,” I say.
“But which will it be?”
I stroll closer to him and stop by his side. Sweat lines his temple, and his hand is shaking. I can taste his fear in the air.
“What are you really afraid of?”
Beau turns to look at me. His gray eyes are so troubled, his face flushed. I feel for him. Yet I know he needs to do this.
“If it’s over, I’ve lost him for good,” he says.
I close my eyes and nod. He doesn’t need to say any more. I finally understand. When I open my eyes to look him in his, it all becomes clear.
“I lost three people in that ring that night. Roman, myself, and my daddy. This was what I knew made him proud,” he says and lifts his palms. “I used what he taught me to kill someone. I shamed him and our name.”
I cup the back of his head and place my forehead to his. We’re eye to eye, nose to nose. I need him to hear me on this one. When I know I have his full attention, I lay it on him.
“I’ve seen the tape from that fight. It was a God honest accident. Your daddy would’ve been proud of how professionally you handled that fight. What would be a shame to your name and your father is to never reach the potential you’ve had inside you all this time.
“You were an amazing fighter. With the right corner, you could take boxing by storm. You have no business being retired. You’re a smart fighter, and you have amazing speed and power for a boxer your size. Not many heavyweights can move like you.
“But for tonight, let’s set you free. Step in the ring. Find your way home, Beau. It’s time,” I say and release him.
“I was frustrated with my mama that day. I love you, Angel. I’m not going anywhere,” he says.
I kiss his cheek and take a step back. “We’re fine. We can talk later. I’ll be right here.”
He nods and starts to bounce on his feet and shake out his hands. Turning for the ring, he rolls his neck, then his shoulders, and starts forward like a soldier headed into battle.
Please let him survive.
Beau
My heart is pounding as I approach the ring. I wipe the sweat from my forehead before climbing up onto the platform and through the ropes. Rubbing my chest, I stave off the panic attack threatening to rise up and consume me.
After moving to the center of the ring, I turn in a circle to look around it. I stop and stare down at the canvas. Waiting… waiting for Roman’s body to appear. After staring for I don’t know how long with nothing happening, I drop to my knees and sob.
“Fuck,” I bellow.
So many emotions hit me at once. I place my palms on the canvas and let its energy seep to my bones. I rest my forehead between my hands and let it wash through me that I’m in the ring.
Something drops beside my head. When I turn I find my gloves lying beside me and sneakered feet. Angel is staring down at me. He has changed out of his suit and now has on gym shorts and a T-shirt.
“Let’s get you taped up. Then we can figure out how much work we have on our hands,” he says.
“We?”
“’Dres and I ain’t shit for getting in a ring, but we’ll whip your ass into shape.” He smiles.
“Now, wait a minute, Angel. What happened to a step at a time?” I frown. “I’m just stepping in the ring.”
“Why wait for tomorrow for what you can do today?” He winks. “Come on, gorgeous. I’ll make you dinner after and massage your feet.”
“I want rice and beans and fresh sofrito,” I grumble.
“No problem. Your new diet starts tomorrow.”
I can’t help but grin. The Marine comes to the surface. I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else. I’m glad he arrived when he did.
I lift to my full height and lock eyes with Angel. In that moment, I make a decision. I’m not running from the things and people I love.
It’s time to do more than survive. It’s time to live.
Chapter 23
A Plan for Billy
Beau
“How do you feel?” Angel asks.
I groan as he works out a knot in my shoulder. I’m between his legs on the floor while he sits on the couch. My belly is full and my body aches from
the beating I put on it tonight. “I’m not eighteen anymore. That’s for sure.”
“You’re using muscles you haven’t used in years, even though you work out. It’s not the same,” he says.
“This is true, I know, but damn,” I scoff.
“We’ll start with a 5:00 a.m. run instead of six. I want to increase your miles.”
“So we’re going to ignore the elephant in the room, then?”
Angel’s hands still. I lean forward and turn to look back at him. His face is as impassive as it’s been for the last month.
“Darlin’, I can’t read your mind. I need to know how we fix this tension. Running in these circles ain’t getting us much of nowhere,” I say to his silence.
“I get that you were frustrated. I know this is all new. I… you were the one to ask me to move in with you. This has been the first sense of security I’ve had in mad a long time. To hear your flippant words about that ending—”
“I was an asshole for that. My family has a way of getting things in their head and then pushing until you fall in line. The only reason they backed off about me fighting again was because of how fucked-up I’d been. But they still pushed more often than not.” I pause as I feel my frustration with myself rise.
My jaw works, and I pick at nothing in the palm of my hand. I’ve been feeling like a jerk about that since that day. I reacted. I didn’t think. “Her words hit home,” I say. “I would love to give Billy a family and a place to call her own. While Mama was talking, I could see that room for her in my head.”
“We’d be great dads for her,” Angel says.
I look up at him to search his face for humor. I find nothing but sincerity. I blow out a breath. “Would we?”
Angel furrows his brows and runs a hand through his hair. He slides forward in his seat. Thoughts race across his face before he speaks them. “I thought it then, I know it now. The more time I spend with her… I feel in my heart like we would. Spending the day with her at the wedding… she just wants to be loved and to have people she can trust to care for her. I know I’d give my life to do that for her.”
He pauses, his eyes searching my face. It shows through how much this means to him. I lean in to hear him out, drawn in by the look in his eyes.
“Listen, when Javi offered me that job to travel, my first thought was… I’m not ready to be responsible for another life again. Then Billy came along and all I want to do is protect her,” he says with so much life in his gaze.
I can see this is something he really wants. I know I’ll never deny Angel anything he asks of me. Becoming Billy’s family will be no different. “You think we should adopt her?”
“I would love to. I think we have a long way to go to get ourselves ready to do that, but I wouldn’t mind working toward it,” he says.
“You sure about this?”
“Here’s what I’m saying. Someone could come along any day and see how special she is. She’d be lost to us forever. What if we make a plan? You know, a time table to at least move in the direction of being what she needs,” he says.
“All right, baby. I hear you. I just want to run something by you. I redo this place, I’m going to have to close off some areas. Our bedroom would need to be walled,” I say cautiously.
His eyes span the apartment. He releases a breath and pulls a hand down his face. A war happens in his eyes.
“I’m sure we can get creative. Your moms says you’re good at that,” he replies.
“Fair enough. I’ll have some plans drawn up. This place will be a mess during construction, but we can stay at the gym. Meanwhile, we’ll volunteer more at the Savanna’s House. That way we can spend more time with Billy at the orphanage and can see if she continues to open up to us,” I muse aloud.
“So we’re going to do this?” Angel asks with a sparkle in his eyes.
“Yeah, let’s start planning.” I smile.
Angel
My heart is full. We’ve decided not to tell Billy our plans until they’re final. It’s going to be so hard to keep all of this from her. My little assistant has grown on me something fierce.
Her infectious smile that has become more present, her smart mouth and quick wit, Billy keeps my life full of laughter. She has made a place in my heart for herself. I look forward to her visits to the gym.
“You’re really happy about this.” Beau’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
I focus on him seated across from me in the bathtub. I moan as he continues to rub my foot in his hands. His massaging is what has me so relaxed, my mind drifted. I appreciate him returning the favor. “Yeah, I am.”
“She came into my office today… Billy. She’s actually what pushed me to attempt stepping into the ring tonight,” he says.
“Really?” I tilt my head as I take in the thoughtful look on his face. That must have been some visit. I hadn’t mentioned him getting back in the ring since the wedding, but I was waiting.
“Yeah, she’s wise beyond her years. She wants to go horseback riding again.”
“Her birthday is coming.”
He smiles. “Always reading my mind, baby.”
I grin at him as my brain starts to form ideas of things we can do for Billy. She has been on her best behavior after choking Mason out. I think she deserves something nice. “Do you think Emma would help us plan something?”
“Mama and Emma will be all over it.” He laughs.
“I’m with a few batches of your mom’s cookies,” I reply, patting my stomach.
Beau’s features take on a thoughtful look. His eyes bounce over my face. I brace myself for him to change his mind about everything we’ve talked about.
“I want to meet your family. Do you think you’re ready for that?” he says instead, shocking me.
“Mommy has asked me about you. I try to call her at least once a week to let her know I’m okay. I’ll give her a call in the morning. It’s… my parents’ home is a bit tight. I can’t stay there long without feeling boxed in and trapped,” I say.
“There’s this amazing restaurant downtown. They have a sunroom that’s available year round. It gives the illusion of being outdoors and open. I know the owner, I can make reservations for us to book the room,” he offers.
“Who don’t you know?” I tease. “Nah, but seriously, I think that would be cool. My moms will hate that she’s not cooking for you, but I think getting to spend time with me will make up for that.”
“You got it, darlin’. Just let me know when and I’ll take care of the rest,” he says.
We fall into a comfortable silence. I reach for my waiting beer and drain it. After the workout in the gym, this has turned into the perfect night. I put down the empty bottle and relax with my eyes closed and an arm hanging over the side of the tub.
Beau releases my foot and the water slashing as he shifts. My lips turn up into a smile as I feel his heat against my chest and his breath fanning against my neck. I tilt my head to the side to give him better access as he pushes my hair aside.
“You’ve been telling me we’re fine for a month,” he says and kisses the skin behind my ear. “I think it’s time you prove it.”
“I’m starting to think you just want me for my body, cowboy.”
“And your cooking. Don’t forget your cooking,” he says between kisses. “I just learned about the back rubs. You’re stuck with me for life now.”
“Am I?”
He backs away. His intense gray gaze says so much. Beau can be short on words at times, but his eyes will tell you a full story if you’re willing to read them.
“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this. Sharing last names and all,” he says.
“Was that a proposal?” I tease.
His face remains serious. He leans in and captures my lips in a tender kiss so uncharacteristic of us. It’s a kiss that says a thousand words.
“Yes,” he says when he pulls away.
“Okay. All right, so we’re doing this, doing this,” I s
ay.
“All or nothing.”
I shove my hand into the top of his hair and tug him to me. Our lips meet in a kiss that packs way more heat this time. I drag him into my lungs like inhaling smoke that consumes all and chokes off anything in its way. Breathing him in like the breath I need to survive my next seconds.
He breaks away, his eyes filled with enough steam to set the bathroom on fire. I place my fingers before his mouth, and he sucks them in. When I pull them free from his lips, I reach for his erection.
“Come suck my cock,” he says huskily.
I grin. He’s staking claim of the lead out the gate. From the look in his eyes, I won’t protest too much. It looks like we’re both going to be on the winning end of the passion ready to be unleashed.
He rises before me, his erection pointing at my face. I lean in and take him into my mouth. His hand fists in my hair, biting into my scalp, causing me to groan around him.
“Yes,” he hisses out. “Let me feel that pretty mouth, my Angel.”
I take him in halfway before releasing him to spit on the tip and work my hand over him. Our eyes lock, and I keep my gaze on his as I cover him again. This time I take him all the way down my throat.
His groans of pleasure vibrate through me. The water surrounding us starts to splash as he rides my face, bucking and rocking his hips. The water may have cooled, but our heated bodies need the cool moisture to keep us from being consumed by our own flares.
“That’s my Angel.” He grunts. “So good.”
I release him, looking up through my lashes as I stroke him and ask, “You going to come for me?”
“Keep sucking me like that I will,” he says.
I accept the challenge. I go back to sucking with more vigor. His hand in my hair tightens and starts to guide me. His hold only loosens when I start to work my head over him from side to side.
“Mmm,” I moan when his salty, sweet flavor gives me a small preview.
