by A. Zavarelli
“Is that so?” he asks. “Tell me, sweetheart, do ye think I also like my woman to be making eyes at other lads while she sits in their lap?”
Shame wells up inside of me and I can’t respond. This only pisses him off more.
“Ye just don’t fucking get it,” he bellows. “What I’ve put on the line for you. And this is how ye repay me?”
I flinch at the fury in his voice, and it only makes him squeeze my throat harder.
“I’m sorry,” I cry out.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I am sorry,” I vow. “I don’t want Sean. I just thought…”
The words fail me. What can I say that will make him understand?
“I want ye to walk out that door,” he says. “Leave ye to fend for yourself. Ye’re just like the rest of them.”
“I’m not.” My eyes are wet, and I mean it. I don’t want him to think that about me. “And I know you don’t want that. I’ll be good, I promise. I’m yours, Lachlan. I swear to you.”
“Mine?” he laughs cruelly as he reaches for the hem of my dress and rips it with his bare hands. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure yet.”
My entire body is shaking with adrenaline and nerves. He’s so angry with me, and if I’m being honest with myself, I am too. But this isn’t how I want this to happen. I’m scared, for the first time in my life, I’m really fucking scared. And it’s because he could really hurt me. Not physically. But in the worst possible way. He could destroy me.
Lachlan has that power. And I need him to not hurt me. I need him to… I don’t know. Be nice to me. At least right now. Just during this vulnerable moment. That’s all.
“Lachlan, wait,” I plead.
He continues to tear at my dress, pulling pieces of fabric away as his eyes focus on the task at hand. His hands are all over me, rough and punishing, and he isn’t even hearing me right now. I need to make him hear. I reach up and clasp his face in my hands with a gentle touch, moving his gaze back to me.
“Lach,” I whisper. “Wait, please.”
“Please, what?” he clips out. “I’m done with your teasing, sweetheart. Ye’re either with me, or ye’re not. Fair warning that option number two isn’t going to bode too well for you.”
This is his rage still talking. I try not to let it get to me as my thumbs stroke over his jaw. “I know. But I don’t want our first time together to be like this. Just… let me take care of you.”
My words seem to affect him, which throws me a little. I didn’t think I’d be able to get through to him. He pauses, his eyes searching mine. His expression softens just a fraction as guilt flickers in his eyes. Knowing that I have him, I reach down and take his hands in mine, backing him up until his legs hit the sofa. He watches me as I retrieve my iPod from my purse and scroll through some music. I press play and then set it down on the coffee table, shimmying out of the ruined fabric of my dress to Burning Desire by Lana Del Ray. I want it to be slow and sweet. I want him to burn like I do.
“I only dance for you from now on,” I say softly. “Remember?”
Lachlan doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second, and it’s clear to me I’ve lost his trust. It guts me, even though it shouldn’t. Where I come from, trust is a big thing. Loyalty. My loyalty got me into this mess, and I wish I could just tell him that. But I can’t. Instead, I’m going to make it up to him. I’m going to offer myself up to him on a silver platter. Something I swore I would never do.
Once I’m down to nothing but a black lace bra and panties, I step between his legs and turn around. Swiveling my hips, I dance in time to the beat of the music and ease myself onto his lap, rubbing my bottom against his erection. Even through his jeans, I can feel how hard he is for me. He’s going to be inside of me soon. My first. It’s strange to me how okay I am with that. How much I want him to be the one.
After a few moments, he relaxes beneath me, his hands wandering over my body while I grind against him. He reaches around and palms my breasts through the lace at the same time he rocks his pelvis up into me. When I glance down at his hands on my body, I can see the strength in his muscular forearms. Everything about him is strong. Primitive. Male. He makes me feel tiny. Fragile. These are things I never thought I’d like to feel, but I do.
He pulls me back against his chest and holds me there while one of his hands delves lower, into my panties. He finds the pool of moisture there and his groan vibrates against my back as he stuffs me with his fingers. I watch them move beneath the fabric, enrapt at the sight as I thrash against him. He’s being gentler than I thought, but it doesn’t last. When my head falls back against his shoulder and my eyes meets his, something inside of him snaps.
His free hand reaches up to clutch at my throat as his lips find my ear.
“Things are going to change from here on out,” he says. “This isn’t a fucking game, Mack.”
“I know.”
He grabs my jaw and squeezes it between his fingers as he pins me with his eyes. “Ye’re going to abide by whatever I tell you from now on. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
I can’t move my head, or even open my mouth, but it turns out it doesn’t matter. He uses his grip to move my head up and down in a nod of agreement as he answers.
“Yes, Lachlan.”
When he loosens his grip on my jaw, I echo him as he clearly wants. “Yes, Lachlan,” I tell him. “Whatever you say from now on. I’ll be good.”
He reaches down and slides his hand beneath my panties to cup my ass cheek, his touch tender while his eyes are still furious. It confuses me, and I’m shocked as hell when he smacks my ass so hard I yelp and nearly jump out of his lap. That’s definitely going to leave a mark.
“Have ye any idea what ye did tonight?” he growls.
“Yes,” I whimper. “I’m sorry.”
His fingers move harder inside of me, rougher, slapping against my clit and making me buck against his leg.
“Are ye a slut?” he demands.
Shock resonates through me at his accusation, but I’m too delirious to fight him. I’m so close to coming. So freaking close.
“No,” I whimper. “I’m not.”
His grip tightens around my sore ass in warning and he bites down on my earlobe.
“The correct answer to that, Mack,” he breathes harshly. “Is aye, Lachlan. I’m a slut for you. Only you.”
Jesus. Why the hell is this turning me on? It shouldn’t, right? I should be angry or something. But instead I’m pleading incoherently, and my arousal is so heavy I can now hear it slapping against his hand every time he moves inside of me.
“Please,” I beg.
“Answer me,” he insists as he slows his movements.
I shake my head and start to move against him myself. I’ll tell him whatever he wants to hear right now if he just doesn’t stop what he’s doing to me.
“Yes, Lachlan,” I scream so loud that if any of his men are outside, they’re sure to hear it too. “I’m a slut, but only for you.”
He grunts and slams his hand deeper.
I cry out as the orgasm washes over me, riding out the waves with jerky movements of my hips while he presses hot kisses all the way down my throat. Then he pulls his hand out of me and brings his still wet fingers up to grip my face, smearing them across my lips before he pushes them inside.
The animalistic part of me already knows what he wants, so I give into him. I suck them while he watches with smoldering eyes and makes a low noise of approval in his throat.
“Now what have ye to say?” he asks.
I blink at him, and it takes me a minute for me to realize what he wants. It’s so arrogant of him, but I like it when he’s like this, God help me.
“Thank you, Lachlan.”
“For?”
“For making me come.”
“Good girl. Now turn around,” he orders in a husky voice.
I get up long enough to spin and straddle his lap, resting my hands on his shoulders. He’s staring
at me with questioning eyes. Probably wondering if he can trust me. If he should go through with this or kick me to the curb. I don’t know if it’s my need for answers or something else that makes me bob forward and capture his mouth with mine.
He tastes hot and sweet and so many other things I can’t articulate. Whatever was going through his mind a moment ago has vanished, replaced by a rapturous hunger. His hands find the clasp of my bra, making short work of it before he tosses it aside completely. Then he palms both of my breasts roughly while he pulls away to stare at them.
“These tits,” he grunts. “You and these goddamn tits.”
It’s all the talking he does before his mouth is on them, licking at them like he can’t get enough. My fingers stroke through his hair and down the back of his neck while my head falls back and I allow myself to feel everything, for just this moment. He’s so good. Too good.
“Christ.” He picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist, carrying me down the hall. “I’m going to burst if I don’t get inside of ye.”
Kicking open the door to his bedroom, he lays me down on the bed. His eyes never leave mine as he reaches for his belt and discards his pants in one fell swoop.
My stomach flutters at the sight before me. He’s perfect. Cut and lean and so fricken’ hot I feel like the slut he says I am for wanting him the way I do. His cock stands rigid between his legs, balls heavy with need as a drop of pre-cum leaks from the tip. It looks painful, and I want to be the one to ease it for him. I want him so bad it scares me.
“You’ve no idea how many times I’ve imagined the ways I’d have you, Mack,” he says gruffly as he lowers himself on top of me.
I reach up and kiss his throat, my voice vibrating against his skin.
“Tell me.”
He turns his head and nips at my fingers. “On my desk, in my car, at the club…”
My hands smooth down his muscular back and pull him closer, and he grins.
“Ye’d like that, wouldn’t ye?”
I crash my lips against his and wrap my legs around his waist. I need him inside of me, yesterday. I don’t even care to admit it anymore. I’ll get it out of my system, I’m sure. There’s only one surefire way. But Lachlan pulls away and gives me a chaste look as he grips my wrists in his hand. He won’t be rushed, apparently.
“Ye know what I wanted to do to ye tonight?”
I close my eyes and blow out a breath, afraid of what he might say. “What?”
“I wanted to bend ye over the table and eat your hot little cunt before the whole lot of them,” he says.
I blink my eyes open, shocked by the heated possession staring back at me. He really does think I’m his. I don’t know how to feel about that. Will he feel the same after tonight?
He spreads my legs and leans back just enough so that he can grip his cock in his hand, sliding it against my arousal. A strangled noise leaves my throat, and this pleases him. But when he positions himself at my entrance, I tense up a little, and he doesn’t miss it.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he asks. “Afraid I won’t fit?”
“Yes,” I lie.
My answer makes him groan, and then he’s leaning forward, bracing himself on the weight of his elbows as his lips find mine.
“I’ll be good to you,” he murmurs against me.
He starts to push inside, and just as I suspect, there’s a slight bite of pain. He’s too frigging big.
I bite my lip and he closes his eyes as his entire body tightens in my grasp.
“Jaysus, ye’re tight,” he grunts.
And then it happens. He meets my resistance, and it breaks inside of me. It isn’t as bad as I thought, but Lachlan definitely notices. He pauses, his eyes flying open as he stares into mine. Nothing is said for a few long moments. Only the sound of our heavy breathing fills the room as I reach up with a shaky hand and stroke his scruff.
“You’re my first.”
Something about those words turns the fire in his eyes into a blazing inferno. His lips crash down on mine, and he kisses me until my lips are swollen with his roughness. When he pulls away, his eyes are heavy with lust and my own heart is thudding violently in my chest.
He starts to roll his hips inside of me at the same time his thumb finds my clit. He doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second, and I can’t look away either. For some reason, this is more intimate than the act itself. Knowing that he’s the first and only man to have me this way. To be inside of me. But it’s his eyes on mine while he stuffs me with his cock that makes my pulse skyrocket.
It isn’t long until I’m bucking against him, overcome by the intensity of what I’m feeling. I didn’t expect it to feel good. I only expected pain. But it does feel good. He’s driving in and out of my wetness. His hands are branding me with the heat of his possession, his eyes searing me with one train of thought. I belong to him. Only him. He tells me as much when I shatter around him.
Tension ripples along his back and his biceps as he struggles for control. His body is slick with sweat and he looks like he’s in agony. Then his head falls back and his mouth parts as he groans out his release. He jerks inside of me, hot jets of his cum filling my womb. It’s only then that I realize we didn’t even use a condom. He doesn’t say it, but it’s in his eyes. He’s thinking the same thing.
“I’m on the pill,” I blurt. “And I’m clean, obviously.”
“Aye.” He grins. “Obviously. Me too, sweetheart.”
His eyes soften as he reaches down and kisses me. This time it’s soft and sweet. It freaks me the hell out. I don’t do this. I don’t do intimacy in any form. But that isn’t even what’s bothering me about this. What’s bothering me is that I’m not bothered by his touch. His kiss. I should be. I should be very bothered. I cannot let my defenses down against this guy.
When he collapses next to me on the bed, I try to scramble away towards the bathroom, but he captures my wrist and stops me.
“What in the bleeding hell do ye think ye’re doing?” he demands.
“I was just going to get cleaned up.”
He jerks me back towards him and wraps an arm around me. “Ye don’t get out of my bed the minute I blow my load into you,” he says.
He sounds genuinely offended, so I try to ignore my discomfort and allow myself to relax around him. But it’s obvious to both of us, it’s not going to happen.
“Haven’t ye ever just been held before, Mack?” he asks.
I tense at his question. No, I haven’t. And that’s how I prefer it. So friggen what?
“Look, Lachlan,” I tell him. “You should probably know right now that I’m defective. I’m missing that chip other people have. The one that makes women want to be held and cuddled. I don’t want or need those things. There’s nothing like that inside of me, okay. So just drop it.”
He turns my face towards his and gives me a sad expression. Pity. “Ye’re dead wrong about that, Mack,” he says softly. “Maybe you can’t see it, but I can.”
I open my mouth to tell him off, but he kisses me again and then squeezes my ass.
“Come.” He takes my hand in his. “Let’s have a shower.”
22
MACKENZIE
I WAKE UP IN ECSTASY. Quite literally, since Lach’s got his face buried between my legs.
Holy shit, this guy and his tongue. He knows how to use it that’s for sure. I’m grabbing his hair, arching my back, wiggling my hips around and making all sorts of crazy noises while he laps at me. All I can see is his dark hair bobbing up and down between my thighs, and it’s fricken hot.
All of this combined pushes me over the edge. Jesus, I don’t even last two minutes. That can’t be normal, right?
Lachlan pulls away, his lips still wet with my arousal as he pushes his hips between my legs. He’s staring at me. Hard. His eyes are flicking back and forth between mine, appraising. Something has changed between us. I know he can feel it too.
He reaches down and brushes my hair away from
my face. And then he kisses me. It’s soft and tentative, like he’s testing something. I kiss him too and dig my fingers into his back. He’s making me feel crazy. Deranged. Like I can’t remember why I’m doing any of this and who he really is.
He groans and murmurs something unintelligible against my lips. His hands are skating over my body, stroking my breasts while he grinds his erection against me. I make a sound in my throat, and he tenses above me. The softness of his lips bleeds away as he kisses me hard. And then he snags my lip between his teeth and jerks.
I barely have time to understand what’s happening. His eyes flash and he flips me over and pins me down on the bed. He crawls up and straddles the back of my upper thighs, his hand twining in my hair and pushing my face down against the pillow.
“What the fuck are ye doing?” he snarls.
I don’t answer because I’m pretty certain this is a rhetorical question. He’s just as confused as I am about this thing between us. He can’t make sense of it, and he doesn’t want it either. But his hard cock wedged against my ass cheeks lets me know he wants me just fine.
His grip tightens on my hair and then he sinks inside of me from behind.
“I didn’t want this.” He grabs a handful of my ass cheek and squeezes.
“I know,” I whisper.
He fucks me hard and fast, his palms pushing my shoulders down as his hips crash into my ass.
“Goddamn you, Mack,” he grunts. “Ye’re fucking everything up.”
I take it. I take his punishment, and what’s more, I like it. I’m glad that he’s just as fucked up in the head as I feel. It makes my conscience feel better about this whole situation.
“You fucked everything up!” I yell back at him.
His lips come down to the back of my neck, sucking and biting their way to my ear.
“Nobody else gets this,” he whispers threateningly. “You gave it to me, Mack. It’s mine. Do ye understand that?”
He jerks on my hair and I grunt. “Fuck you, asshole.”
“Yeah, fuck me,” he echoes. “You’ll be in my bed every night, sweetheart. Riding my cock, taking my come. This body is mine now. Am I making myself clear enough?”
