by Jody Holford
“I live over a garage.”
He waggled his eyebrows, hoping to make her laugh. “You’re welcome to move back in with me.” He honestly wouldn’t mind one damn bit.
“Declan. I know how to be an auntie, but that’s a whole different ball game. This baby is going to count on me for everything. I haven’t even finished that What to Expect book!”
Pulling her closer, he leaned down so he met her gaze more evenly. He wasn’t feigning calm. He felt it down to his bones. They could do this together. He wanted to do this with her. “You’re a smart, incredible, talented woman. You’re going to be amazing at this, Sophia. You’re kind and compassionate. Sexy as fuck, not that that helps you out in the mom department, but it makes me happy.”
Finally, laughter bubbled out of her. “You’re ridiculous.”
Declan shrugged. “You’re hot. I can’t help it.”
“You really want to do this?”
He straightened and looked around at the bright colors, loud displays, and overflowing aisles, then back at her. “I do. With you.”
…
All he could think as they put tiny clothes, diapers, decorated cloths, and soothers in the cart was how the hell can there be so many choices? How was anyone supposed to know which one was best? Sophia was rubbing her hand over a blanket—that was another thing—how many blankets did one tiny person need?
She nibbled on her lip, and his stomach tightened with desire.
“You look awfully serious for someone holding a cuddly blanket,” he said, picking up a plush rabbit. When it came time to buy the kid Lego, that’s where Dec would shine.
“I’m not sure if I want to go with yellow. It’s neutral, supposedly, but it’s not my favorite.”
He tossed the rabbit down, staring at her. There had to be more. She couldn’t look that conflicted over colors. Could she?
Her hand moved back and forth, fingering the thick ribbon wrapped around it. “When my siblings had their kids, they talked about nurseries and color schemes. They were all so ready. I haven’t even found a doctor yet, Dec.”
Catching the hint of tears, he stepped closer and took the blanket from her. “You just got home, and you’ve been busy. You take good care of yourself, and you feel well. I’m sure it’s fine if you haven’t seen an OB in a bit. But if you’re worried about it, I can ask around. We’ll find you a doctor. Knowing what color you want for a room doesn’t make anyone a better parent.”
She sniffled and lowered her head, and when she looked back up, the tears brimming, he swore.
Her tears spilled over. “I don’t have a doctor, I can’t make a decision on something as easy as a blanket, and in the back of my mind, I keep thinking about things I want or need to do for the pub. Why can’t I fall all the way into this? Maybe my parents are right. Maybe I’m too self-absorbed.”
Taking Sophia’s hand, he led her over to a couple of oversized chairs set up in a bedroom display. He sat down on the matching footstool of one and nudged her into the chair in front of him.
“You’re not selfish, Sophia. You’re carrying all this guilt, and it isn’t fair. You’ve fought back from one blow after another, and not only are you still standing, but you’re doing a kick-ass job. While pregnant, emotional, settling into a new home, dealing with your family, and falling for an extremely charming, good-looking guy.”
The watery laugh she let loose made his heart smile. She was turning him into such a sap.
“Sounds like I’m pretty good at multitasking.”
He squeezed her thighs, leaning toward her. “You’re good at a lot of things. Reading people, your work, turning me on, making me laugh, making people feel at ease and validated. Sophia, you’re one of the best people I know. I hate that this rift with your parents is causing you so much pain, but you haven’t even had your baby yet… Do you love him or her?”
She sucked in a sharp breath and covered her belly with her hands. “I do,” she whispered.
Declan smiled and ran his hands up and down her arms. “If you do already, imagine how you’ll feel almost thirty years from now. Your parents love you. So do your siblings. You’ll get through this. You’re home now, and they’re going to want to know this baby. They want you in their lives, or it wouldn’t bother them so much that they can’t have some of the say. Be patient. Focus on what you can do and what you’re doing really well. The rest will come.”
Sophia scooted forward between Dec’s knees. “You’re awfully wise for someone who has no siblings, no children, and before this, no serious relationships.”
She didn’t say it like a judgment, but he wondered if those things somehow counted against him. “Maybe I don’t have those things, but Marcus and Adam are like brothers. I hate that things are strained with me and Marc, but I believe we’ll get past it. That’s what you do. And I don’t have kids, but I couldn’t love Charlie more if I tried. And maybe I don’t have any romantic relationships under my belt, but I’ve got the same friends I did in high school. Lisa aside, I’ve created a family atmosphere at my place of business, and I know plenty about loyalty and perseverance.”
“I didn’t mean it as an insult. Just that you seem to have all the answers.”
Pulling her onto his lap, he settled his hand over her stomach. “Maybe it seems that way, but I’m just doing what I’ve always done. I’m going with instincts. With what feels right. You? You feel perfect. We feel right. Things will fall into place, the baby will be loved and cared for, and it won’t make one damn bit of difference what color blanket we buy.”
She stared at him so long he started to feel antsy. But he held her gaze as he held her. He had all the time in the world if that’s what she needed.
After what felt like too long, she rested her head on his shoulder. “That part about falling for the guy?”
He stroked her back.
“It’s impossible not to.”
He smiled against her hair. “Then why fight it?”
“Uh, can I help you at all?” Someone asked from behind them.
Sophia sat up and looked at the store clerk. “No thank you. We have everything we need.”
Yeah. They really did.
Declan grabbed the cart while Sophia walked back over to the rainbow wall of blankets. Without hesitating, she grabbed a soft gray fleece. On her way back to him, she grabbed the rabbit he’d picked up earlier.
“Ready?” he asked.
She nodded and looped her arm through his as they made their way to the checkout.
Chapter Twenty-One
It was silly to feel nerves, but that was exactly what was rolling around in Sophia’s stomach. Better than nausea. She was getting off lucky in that respect and hoped that good fortune held throughout the duration of the pregnancy. She wished she could talk to Viola and Rosemary about their experiences. She remembered bits and pieces of things they’d said and gone through, but it would have been kind of cool to compare notes. There were days she missed them so much it hurt and others, like today, when she felt angry at them for not having her back. Declan was right; she hadn’t knocked over a bank or disappeared from their lives. Don’t think about that right now. She was becoming a master of redirecting her thoughts.
Megan and Stella had asked about hanging out, and Sophia had agreed, thinking they were just doing what people did when a new person entered the scene. Oh, we should hang out some time. Yeah, we totally should. That would be fun. It never occurred to her that they’d meant it or that they’d insist on following through. These were Declan’s friends’ significant others, and Sophia was trying not to think too hard about the fact that she wasn’t sure she belonged in their inner circle. Dammit. I’m tired of not belonging anywhere.
On the coffee table, she set out some tortillas and salsa, some veggies and dip, and an assortment of cookies she’d picked up at a bakery near work. The girls would be there soon, and Sophia forced herself to focus on something other than obsessing about whether or not she could and would make friends.
Checking the On Dec Facebook page to see they were up more followers made her smile. Thinking of Declan made her smile, and even though she was wary of letting him in, she didn’t stop herself. He’d been ridiculous about his boundaries and rules. Sure, not kissing or touching at work seemed reasonable, and he’d let her curl into his side the other night when they watched a movie. He hadn’t even complained, much, about her choice.
But when her hands had started to wander—and really, whose wouldn’t with his body and the way he smelled like fresh air and ocean and man—he’d shut her down.
“Hands off, honey. We’re not on a date,” he’d said. She thought he was joking. He wasn’t.
Picking up a carrot, she smothered it in dip and was about to grab another even as she chewed the first when someone knocked.
It was only steps to the door, and when she looked through the frosted glass, it was not a feminine shape she saw on her steps.
Opening the door, her heart did this funny little jumping jack at the sight of Declan.
“Hey,” he said, looking her up and down. In his arms, he held a brown paper bag.
“Hey yourself. What’s that?” She moved aside so he could come in.
He did, but didn’t take off his shoes or jacket. Handing her the bag, he grinned.
“Heard you were having some company, and I know how Megan and Stella like their treats. I picked up some ice cream.”
As if just saying the words triggered her want, Sophia’s mouth watered. “That’s kind of sexist or something, isn’t it? Few girls getting together so we must need ice cream.”
Declan pulled the bag back. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll share it with Adam and Charlie.”
“Wait, no. I didn’t mean that.” She snatched the bag back, holding it to her chest. Declan chuckled, bringing out her smile.
“You going over to visit with Adam and Charlie?”
Stepping into her space enough that she felt surrounded in the best possible way, he only nodded.
Her throat went dry. Inhaling deeply, she caught the scent of cold air and his cologne.
“I could swing by after. If you want.”
His eyes were locked on hers, and she got lost for just a minute before she answered. “Would it be a date?”
Lifting a hand, he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “No, silly. A date is where I pick you up, take you out, and bring you home.”
Sophia stepped away and went to the little freezer over her fridge. “That’s a pretty narrow-minded view of dating.”
Declan leaned back against the door, so she joined him again. If he wanted to come in and sit down, he was forward enough he’d have done so.
“Oh yeah? What’s your idea of dating?”
“Well, dating and a date are two different things, aren’t they? A date, yes, mostly follows the guidelines you said. Dating is when you do such things frequently with one person.”
“So, we’re agreed.” He stared at her with a hint of suspicion.
Sophia stepped closer, ignoring the cool feel of his winter coat. “But when two people want more or just want to be together, it doesn’t matter what they’re doing with that time as long as they’re…with each other.”
She watched his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, and she smiled. “So, if you’d like to come over tonight, after I hang out with the girls, and consider it as part of us dating, then yes.”
“We seem to be moving past the speed dating.”
Going on tiptoes, she was happy he didn’t turn away when she kissed him. In fact, he tilted his head, cupped her face with both hands, and made her forget their discussion.
“I’m trying to do this right, babe,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.
“There is no right or wrong way, Dec. Why are we fighting it? If what you say is true, if you really want to give things between us a go, why are we waiting?”
His gaze pierced hers, surprising her with the depth of emotion. “Because I don’t want to fuck this up. You’re the first time it’s mattered.”
Like the Grinch at Christmas, she swore her heart grew two sizes, and all that extra room was filled with him. This was a man who wouldn’t just have her back, he’d stand by her side. She gripped his wrists.
“How about if we just do what works for us?”
He nodded, and since he was still pressed against her, it was like she nodded, too.
“And what’s that?”
She took a breath and a leap at the same time. “Come back tonight. And stay.”
Declan’s eyes heated, his fingers pressing into her cheeks, and she didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want him to say no.
“You’re sure?”
The breath she’d held whooshed out of her lungs, and satisfaction thrummed through her happily.
“It’s about the only thing I am sure of.”
He stepped back and nodded.
When Sophia closed the door behind him, she leaned her back against it and covered her belly with her hand. Hope was racing through her blood, and she didn’t want to squash it. So few things had gone the way she’d planned in her life. Soon, her decisions wouldn’t be about her at all. Already, the baby inside of her dictated her sleep, her food, her feelings. Things would either work out with Declan and that would be amazing for her and her baby. Or they wouldn’t and she’d have the memory of him to hold onto.
Megan and Stella made themselves completely at home as if they’d hung out with Sophia for years. It was nice and reminded her how much she missed having her sisters around. She’d thought maybe, just maybe, one or both of her sisters would reach out. She could have as well, but she was tired of being shut down and turned away. It hurt too much. After her family found out she was pregnant, she’d received nothing but radio silence. Even though her mother had said very little when she’d left Rosie’s house that day, she’d thought maybe, just maybe, the mother in her would crack. Soften. Reach out. They really were a stubborn group, and right now it felt like no one was willing to make the first move. Sophia was doing it to stand her ground. She just didn’t think she could take another blow without falling over. Settling into the corner of the couch, she listened to the details of how Megan and Adam had become a couple.
“Did you actually try to find him a wife? Or someone who would be… I don’t even know the term, marriage material?” Sophia munched on a carrot, dipping it into the thick ranch dressing on her small plate.
“Oh, she absolutely did. And had it been anyone other than stick-up-his-butt Adam, it might have worked.” Stella, who was curled in an oversized chair that matched the couch, grinned at her friend.
“Hey!” Megan tossed a chip at Stella, who caught it and put it in her mouth. Then she turned to Sophia. “He was pretty uptight about things. Lucky for me because it didn’t take me long to realize I didn’t want him with anyone else.”
Stella cleared her throat loudly, and Megan glared at her, once again turning back to Sophia. “Okay, maybe it took me a while to admit I wanted him, but I think I knew almost right away.”
“I can’t imagine how my brother would have reacted to that. He probably would have kicked someone’s ass,” Sophia said. At one point Marcus would have stood up for her for anything. But she’d wrecked that. Don’t do that. Don’t become maudlin when you’re having a good time. You have lots to be thankful for.
“Parker wasn’t a fan of Adam’s. But ultimately, he just wanted me happy.”
Stella leaned forward and added more chips to her plate. “I always wanted a sibling. I’ve adopted Parker and Garrett as my own, but especially now, as we get older and with the wedding coming, I sort of wish I had a larger extended family. Someone for our kids to grow up around, you know?”
Sophia saw the look Megan sent Stella, who immediately cringed.
“Shit. I’m sorry. That was a thoughtless thing to say,” Stella said.
Sophia waved her hand dismissively. “No. It wasn’t. I get it, and truthf
ully, I wanted to come home before I found out I was pregnant, but once I knew I was for sure, it was like I physically craved my family. Even with…even if they aren’t around or supporting me, I know that if anything happens to me or my baby, they’ll be there.”
“They should be there regardless. That’s what family is.” Stella sank back into the chair with her plate full of goodies.
“I agree, but family can be what you make it. Hopefully yours will come around. But you’re not alone. You have us,” Megan said, reaching out and patting Sophia’s knee.
She tried to smile. “Thank you. That’s what Declan says, too.”
The women shared a glance, and Sophia’s nerves ratcheted up several notches. “What?”
“Nothing.” Stella stared at Megan when she answered.
“Megan,” Sophia said in her best warning tone.
Her lips twisted as if she was deciding, then she met Sophia’s gaze. “We’ve never seen Dec like this. I haven’t known him as long as Stella or Adam, but Adam says he’s crazy about you.”
Her heart tap danced. “Really? That seems weird, since we’ve barely been on two dates.” Two amazing dates that cast a shadow on any other date she’d had or would have. Declan James knew how to make himself stand out.
“Sometimes you just know,” Stella said. “I think part of why I resisted Zach so hard, personally and professionally, was because I knew from the minute I looked at him.”
“I’ve known Dec my whole life,” Sophia said. She’d crushed on him more than once as a kid, but he was Declan James, playboy and yet all-around good guy.
“Yeah. Which makes it pretty romantic,” Megan said with a sigh.
“She thinks everything is romantic. But she’s not completely wrong. How do you feel about him?” Stella asked.
Shifting in her seat, she folded her legs under her, trying to formulate the words that would properly encapsulate all of the things she felt. “He scares me. On one hand, he’s the guy everyone wanted to date. He’s also the guy that collects Lego like it’s gold but still lets kids play with it. He’s thoughtful and kind and so sexy I almost can’t stand it. But he’s never been a forever guy. And it isn’t just me that would lose him if things don’t work out.”
