“I think you’re making a big mistake,” Timothy said crossing his arms. “I don’t know what this guy did to you, but really, you should set it aside.”
“I appreciate the advice,” I said. “But I’d rather die out here to the attacks than spend any longer with him than I have to.”
Nick nodded. “And to be clear, we’re taking some of the supplies. You can take your tarp, but it’s going to be a little lighter.”
“Good luck to you guys being stuck with this monster,” I said. My muscles were so tight I couldn’t draw in a deep breath.
I walked out of the room, stepping into the kitchen where I could still keep my eye on Tom. But I needed to feel separated, and the small open kitchen was the best I could do at the moment. It wasn’t like the four of us were about to go huddle in the bathroom with Blair.
I was done huddling.
“Where’s Blair?” Nick asked looking around the kitchen.
“Bathroom,” Bronx said worry showed in the wrinkles on his forehead.
I narrowed my eyes at Nick for a second before looking out of the kitchen at Molly. She was standing halfway between the living room and the kitchen. Molly was clearly conflicted, but after a minute or so, she came into the kitchen.
“Anyone feel like telling me that dude’s story?” Molly asked jerking her thumb at Tom.
“Yeah,” Nick said with a nod. “I’ll get you all caught up.”
Nick started telling the story without keeping his voice down. The silence in the other room was enough to let us know they were listening.
Bronx started pacing, and I could tell his mind was elsewhere. He wasn’t listening to the story… he already knew what had happened. His mind was probably on Blair.
Molly nodded along as Nick told her everything starting at the point where I’d been taken. He gave as many details as he could and when he told her about Jamie, I wanted to cover my ears.
I wasn’t sure how Bronx would feel about hearing about Jamie after what had happened between us, but if it had bothered him, he’d made no indication of it. It shouldn’t bother him, and I hoped he knew that.
I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with Bronx and me, but I knew that we cared about each other deeply. He knew about Jamie, although I’m not sure to what extent he knew, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t change how I felt about Bronx.
When Nick finished talking, Bronx stopped pacing. Bronx ran his fingers through his hair. “I think I should go check on her.”
“Maybe… she really wanted to be alone,” I said wrapping my arms around my middle.
“She shouldn’t be alone,” Bronx said his eyes darting toward Nick. They’d moved so fast there was no way Nick had even noticed the look.
“You shouldn’t go alone,” I said glancing into the other room. Tom had his back to us, but I was almost positive he could feel my eyes piercing into his back like sharp daggers.
“He’s not going to do anything,” Bronx said. “Not while Nick’s holding the gun.”
I shook my head. “How can you be so sure?”
“What’s he going to do?” Bronx said. “Unless he’s already convinced them to all gang up on me, I think I’m fine.”
“He might do that,” I said raising my brows.
“I highly doubt it,” Bronx said scratching the side of his head. “Fuck it.”
Bronx stepped around the counter and out of the kitchen. I took a step but stopped when Nick held out his hand.
“He’ll be fine. We should talk,” Nick said.
“I don’t have anything to talk to you about, besides I want to see how Blair’s doing too.” I cocked my head to the side. “Remember Blair?”
Nick rolled his eyes. “Of course, I remember Blair.”
I pushed his arm away.
“Gwen, please,” Nick said, his shoulders slumping downward.
“I don’t want to hear it, Nick. I’m sick of your shit.”
My shoulders rose as I drew in a breath and walked out of the kitchen. I wasn’t more than two steps away from Nick when I heard Bronx howl out a noise I couldn’t even describe.
“Ahh!” Bronx shouted punctuating the cry with a loud bang. “Noo!”
Twenty
My feet carried me fast without any thought to who was around me. I didn’t care where Tom was or what he was doing. All I cared about was getting to Bronx.
I grabbed the door frame to stop myself from slamming into the wall. My eyes first went to him, down on his knees with his head down.
He was holding something… a limp arm. There was blood everywhere.
It was on the floor.
I walked closer.
It was pooled in the tub… still dripping out of Blair’s wrists. The razor was on the edge of the tub. She’d set it down. Blair had time to set it down. She hadn’t called out for help… she hadn’t had second thoughts about what she’d done.
I drew in a breath and moved toward her. “Maybe we can—”
“It’s too late,” Bronx said.
I looked up to see her eyes. She was staring at the wall with nothing but coldness in her eyes. Blair was gone. There wasn’t anything anyone could do.
I’d looked away almost instantly but not before I noticed that she’d taken the bandage off of her cheek. The wound was red and blistered, some of them disgustingly large. I noticed the puss-filled bandage sitting on the back of the sink.
Maybe seeing how bad it was had pushed her over the edge. I turned at the sounds of footsteps making their way down the hall.
“Shut the door,” Bronx said, but I didn’t make it there before Nick stopped in the doorway.
His mouth dropped open. Nick’s fingers loosened around the grip of the gun, and I worried that he was going to drop it.
“Oh shit,” Nick said taking a step forward but then stopping and taking too back. “Blair, what did you do?”
I was pretty sure he knew she couldn’t answer him. The pace of his breathing picked up. His shoulders bobbed rapidly with each inhale and exhale.
Nick came into the room, and he spun in a circle before dropping down next to the tub. He pushed Bronx out of the way and grabbed Blair’s lifeless hand. Nick lowered his head and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead.
He was mumbling something I couldn’t make out. Something about not letting him in… something about trying.
Nick stood up and pushed Bronx hard against the wall. He stared at him for a long moment before slamming him again.
Bronx just stood there staring at him. He refused to let it get to him, knowing Nick was just letting his anger out.
Nick threw his hands into the air before resting them on the edge of the sink. His head was down, his breathing hectic.
After a moment he was still. He sniffed, and then it happened so fast, I heard the noise before I was able to determine what had happened. Nick had punched the mirror breaking it into a million little pieces.
“Nick?” Molly said softly.
Bronx and I both turned and faced the doorway. Molly was standing there staring into the room with her shaking fingers attempting to cover her mouth.
“Get out of here!” Nick shouted, and Molly instantly ran off. “All of you!”
I didn’t even try to say anything to him. My eyes closed for a second as I drew in a breath and left the room.
Bronx was right behind me, closing the door as we exited the room.
When we stepped into the living room, it was clear that everyone already knew what had happened. Molly hadn’t even taken a second to think things over before blurting out what had happened.
Renee had her arm around Molly as tears rolled down her cheeks. I don’t know why it angered me that she was crying. It wasn’t like Molly had known her for long, but maybe what really bothered me was that I wasn’t crying.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t sad because I was. I was also horrified and disturbed, but I was tired. So tired of all the sadness and devastation.
If one good thing hap
pened, it was like three terrible things would happen to remind me how cruel life could be. I must have done something terrible in a past life to deserve everything that was thrown my way.
It was true that everyone since the red sky was suffering, but I had suffered long before that. Maybe I wasn’t crying because I wasn’t going to lay down and take it any longer.
All their eyes were on Bronx and me as if they were waiting for us to make some kind of official announcement. None of them needed to know what had happened. Not a single one of them knew or cared about Blair.
I turned on my heel and walked into the kitchen.
“I’m sure you all heard,” Bronx said, his voice cracking. “Our friend Blair is dead.”
“We are so sorry for your loss,” Timothy said.
“It’s so sad,” Renee said.
“Thanks,” Bronx said. “This has been a hard day.”
There was so much sadness in his voice it felt like my heart was being squeezed by a vice. I didn’t want him to be in pain.
“If you’ll excuse me,” he said before stepping into the kitchen.
He didn’t look at me. His shoulders were rounded forward. I didn’t like seeing him filled with so much pain.
I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back weakly and buried his face into my hair.
In the morning, we were packed and ready to go. None of us had talked much, except for Nick to tell us that Molly had decided to come with us.
It was going to be the four of us heading off on our own. I probably should have tried to talk Molly out of it because it wasn’t going to be easy. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that we were all walking to our funerals.
“Here,” Timothy said handing a piece of paper to Nick.
“What’s this?” Nick asked. His voice was scratchy as if he’d been crying.
“It’s a map. It’s not the best map, but in case you change your mind,” Timothy said.
Nick shook his head. “We won’t change our minds.”
“But if you do,” Timothy forced a smile. “Please.”
I reached for it and folded it up without looking at it. “Thank you.”
Timothy bobbed his head. There was sadness in his eyes when we looked at one another, but it was all sadness for what we’d just experienced. He couldn’t hide the fact that he was thrilled to get out of there and back on the road to what he believed was safety.
“Good luck to you all,” Erik said at the same time Renee waved.
“You too,” Bronx said, and with that, we were off.
Most of the dust had been blown away from the violent winds, but there were still drifts of the white powder scattered about. To be safe, we’d all still put our wrappings on, but they were easy enough to avoid. Of course, that didn’t mean the wind couldn’t pick up at any time and blow what was left in our faces.
There were a few spots on my head where I could feel the skin had been damaged. It was rough against my fingertips, but luckily, I hadn’t felt any blisters, and the pain had subsided.
We were heading east. No one had a good reason for heading east, but it was the way we decided on. Head for the coast. What we’d do once we got to the coast was anyone’s guess.
All that mattered to me was that we put as much distance between Tom and us as possible. If I never saw his ugly mug again, it would be too soon.
There wasn’t a soul in sight as we walked down the empty road. The trees were dead or dying, and there wasn’t even a squirrel or rabbit that crossed our path. It was just us and the horrible silence.
We had two bags of supplies which would last us a fair amount of time. Surely, we’d be able to find more as we traveled. And if we didn’t, then that would be the way it all ends. There were probably worse ways to go.
I was glad that Nick had the gun. At least that was one less thing we’d have to worry about.
The day went much quicker than I had anticipated. Sunlight was fading, and we still hadn’t found a place to stop for the night.
“Sign three miles back said there’d be a town… I think we can’t be too far off,” Nick said.
“Maybe we’re walking slower than you think,” Molly said.
I glanced at Nick’s leg, and I could tell he was trying hard not to let it bother him. Our pace had slowed significantly since we’d set out but I assumed that was because we were all exhausted.
“Yeah, we’ve slowed down,” Bronx muttered.
“Well, of course, we did,” Nick shot back. “We’ve been walking all day. We’re all worn out.”
Molly wrapped her arms around herself. “It gets so cold at night.”
I hadn’t noticed the chill in the air until Molly had mentioned it. My thoughts had been on other things, but she was right, it was cold.
I rubbed my palm on my prickled skin, but it didn’t help. My teeth were chattering and maybe had been for a while because my jaw felt stiff. Then again, it might have been tensed from holding my emotions inside.
My body jerked when Nick loudly clapped his hands. “There it is.”
Twenty-One
We stopped at the first house at the edge of the town. It was too dark to make our way through unfamiliar territory.
“Did you take a flashlight?” Bronx asked.
“I did, but I plan to conserve the batteries,” Nick said.
“We’ll need it to check the house,” Bronx said.
Nick’s eyes narrowed at him. “Maybe. We still got some light.”
We followed Nick through the ranch style home, settling in the living room after we’d checked to make sure it was empty. Molly followed Nick through the house a second time as they made sure all the doors and windows were locked.
Bronx sat down on the sofa, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. His eyes were focused on a dark stain on the floor between his feet. I didn’t know what the stain was and by the looks of it, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“We’re losing light fast,” I said as I peeked out of the window. “Wonder if there are any candles here.”
“Want me to help you look?” Bronx asked leaning forward slightly.
I shook my head as my stomach clenched. After what happened at my grandma’s I wasn’t sure I wanted to use a candle.
Then again, the only reason the fire had happened was because Tom had knocked over the candle. Did I really want us to sit around in the complete darkness? I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore.
“I’ll look for the candles,” Bronx said placing his hands on my shoulders. I hadn’t even noticed he’d gotten up. “You look tired. Put your feet up.”
“No need,” Nick said waving his hand. “We already found some.”
Nick and Molly were carrying long taper candles in decorative glass holders. The fact that they were tall made me nervous, and apparently, it showed.
“We’ll be careful,” Nick said glancing in my direction. “Could you close that curtain?”
Nick’s communications with me had changed. He was colder. It was awkward, and I didn’t care.
He was probably blaming himself for what Blair had done, and truth be told, I was too. But did blame really matter? Our choices were limited considering we all still had to work together to survive. We would all have to find a way to deal with what had happened even though it shouldn’t have.
Of course, it wasn’t entirely Nick’s fault. Blair shouldn’t have given up. There were plenty of times I had wanted to yet here I was. Perhaps Blair hadn’t feared death the same way I had.
As the night went on, Molly didn’t leave Nick’s side. She was like a lost puppy. I was pretty sure the only reason she had come with us, was because of Nick.
Bronx and I were curled up on the couch. He was mostly sitting, and I was mostly using him for a pillow.
From time to time his breathing would slow, and I knew he was sleeping. I on the other hand, tried to sleep, but my eyes never stayed closed for long.
The night sky must have been cloudy or perhaps there w
as no moon out because it was dark in the room except for the candlelight. Molly had been sleeping in the over-sized chair across from us, but she woke up and stretched her arms over her head.
She looked at Bronx and me, and I quickly closed my eyes so she’d think I was asleep. She walked over to Nick and started rubbing his shoulders.
“I can’t sleep,” she whispered, and he placed his hand on top of hers.
My stomach twisted into a tight knot. He had just given up and Blair and moved on without a thought to anything but himself.
Selfish.
Nick would never change. I couldn’t even believe that I had ever thought it was a possibility that he could.
Seeing how close they’d gotten in such a short of time made me uncomfortable. And it made me angry.
“Try to get some sleep, baby,” Nick said, and Molly kissed him on the cheek.
He turned, grabbing her hand and pulling her to him. When he turned to kiss her, he saw me watching. Nick stood abruptly, and Molly twisted her neck to see what he was looking at.
“Gwen,” Nick whispered as he held up his palm.
I wanted to close my eyes and pretend he hadn’t caught me, but there was no chance I’d get away with it.
“Watch the window, okay?” he said without turning to Molly. She nodded, keeping her eyes on me.
“Everything okay?” Molly asked.
Nick pointed at the window. “Yeah, just keep watch. I’ll be back.” He took several steps closer. “Gwen, can we talk?”
“I’m really tired,” I said, and it was true. The only problem was that I was having so much trouble actually letting my body relax that sleep wasn’t happening.
“I won’t take up much of your time,” Nick said.
Rather than pester me until Bronx woke up, I followed him into the kitchen. It was so dark I could barely see him, but that was fine as far as I was concerned.
“I know what you saw, and I just want to explain,” Nick said.
“What’s there to explain?” I said narrowing my eyes. “I know what I saw, and it doesn’t really need any explaining.”
White Dust - A Post-Apocalyptic Novel (The Red Sky Series Book 4) Page 10
