by Anna Brooks
“I know, man. I feel like shit, but I’m—”
“It isn’t about you, Liam, don’t you fucking get that?”
“Of course, it’s always been about her.”
“I know you think that, but man … just. Don’t fuck this up again.”
As much as I want to say that I understand where he’s coming from, he’s starting to piss me off. “Dude, I get it.”
“No, you don’t.” He steps in closer to me. “You don’t have a fucking clue what she—”
“Nik!”
His mouth shuts, and I can hear his teeth grinding. Without a word, he turns and walks out of the office as Meara shoots him a death glare, and then her face becomes panicked as she looks at me. “What did he say?”
“Nothing I didn’t already know. That I’m an asshole.”
“No …” She steps toward me and wraps her arms around my waist. “You’re not an asshole, Liam.”
Instead of arguing with her, I lead her out of the bar and toward the lake. “I thought we could go to the beach for a little while before I leave.”
“Sounds great.”
We’re not that far and arrive less than ten minutes later. “God, what is it about this place?”
She hums in agreement as she sits in front of me on the sand, her toes barely touching the water. “I don’t know, but it’s so serene. It always makes me feel so small, but so peaceful at the same time. Kind of hard to put into words.”
“Not really.” I kiss the side of her neck, and then rest my chin on her shoulder. “Because it’s how I feel when I’m with you.”
I had this big speech planned to tell her again how sorry I am and how hard I’m trying. That I was never going to give up on us for as long as I lived. But right now, I don’t think we need to say anything else. We just need to have this moment.
Chapter 20
Meara
I NERVOUSLY RUN AROUND my apartment one last time and make sure everything is in place. In about five minutes, he’s going to be walking through my door for good. And I’m a nervous wreck. Liam has been absolutely amazing since the last time I saw him. He calls and texts multiple times throughout the day. His sponsor has even called me a couple of times to tell me how well he’s doing. In fact, Bart left two months ago and Lee has been on his own and staying sober with no problems.
Jamie called to check on me one night months ago, and I confessed to having the miscarriage. He was furious with me for hiding everything, but once I explained my reasons, he calmed down and promised not to tell Liam as long as I swore I would do it soon.
I like to think that when Liam comes back, things will go back to normal. The ultimate wish is that we could pretend the past six months didn’t happen. No drugs, no miscarriage, no heartache. Unfortunately … or maybe fortunately, I guess it depends on how you look at it, all that shit did happen. We’ve been through it, came out on the other end, and I hope that we will continue to do nothing but grow together.
Metal scrapes as the lock clicks and I stop pacing since my feet become cement. Liam opens the door and seems just as frozen as I am because he’s just standing in the doorframe with a look of fulfillment.
“Hi.” I awkwardly wave and he smiles, the left side lifting just a tad higher than the right. “Hey, princess.”
And there it is … everything’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.
I laugh as he steps inside and closes the door. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”
“Me, too.”
The day after he left last time, I got everything from the basement and put it back where I could see it, where it belonged. A weight lifted off my shoulders when I could walk in and have him surround me again.
“Cool.”
He drops his bag on the floor and tosses his jacket on top. In the middle of my apartment, he walks up and kisses the top of my head, then steps back. “I need to take a shower.”
My hormones are upset, but my ego’s pissed off. “Months, Lee! Months away and I get a kiss on the top of the head like a child?”
“Meara, I—”
“A peck. A goddamn peck! When this is supposed to be the first day of the rest of our lives!”
He chuckles and steps back into my space, resting his hands on my hips. “Babe, I need to take a fucking shower desperately, and if I kiss your lips right now, I won’t be able to stop. So please, please, just give me five minutes.”
My body swings toward his and my crotch rubs against his, clearly not in tune to his brain’s idea of a shower.
“Ugh … three minutes.” Then he pecks my head again and runs to the bathroom, tossing his clothes along the way.
As soon as the water comes on, I power walk to the bedroom and whip my shirt off. It takes about eight seconds for the rest of my clothes to come off, too. Instead of trying for a seductive pose, I sit on the bed with my legs crossed, my heart accelerating with every breath. Nervous anticipation pulses through my veins with each second that ticks by.
The clock reads that four minutes have passed when he comes into the room with nothing but a towel around his waist and a cocky smile on his handsome face.
“You’re a minute late.”
He drops the towel and dives for me. I fall to my back and wrap my legs around him, crossing them tight. Water drips from his hair onto my face as he lowers his head. Our kiss is punishing; it’s been months in the making and I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is how it should be. This is what’s right for us.
His teeth nip at my bottom lip and I slide my tongue across his. It’s not a fight for control but rather a desperation that’s finally satisfied. My entire body is already burning, but when he runs his hand down my side and across my stomach, he sets me on fire. He teases me and stops right above where I desperately need him to be.
“You need to touch me before I explode, Lee.”
“Oh, you’ll explode, princess. It’s just a matter of how many times.”
His thumb circles my clit and I turn my head to take in a breath. I raise my hips because I want more; I fucking need more from him. He drags his thumb down and circles my opening before bringing it back up and pressing down on my clit again. I’m so close already and as soon as he sucks a nipple into his mouth, I shudder and clench and thrash as an orgasm rips through me.
I’m still coming down when he thrusts two fingers into me and I almost push his hand away because it’s too much. But, like always, he knows my body and just holds his hand still. While I’m catching my breath, he licks up from my breast to my collarbone and presses his lips against mine. “Spread your legs for me.”
I uncross my ankles and let my knees fall to the bed while he sits up and watches his fingers going in and out of my body. “God, I missed this. You have such a pretty pussy, Meara. I could do this all fucking night … just watch you cover my hand with your cum. Can you feel how wet you are?”
“Yes.” I pant, and the wave begins to build again, faster than I thought possible. I love it when he talks like that to me; it pushes me over the edge every single time.
“Yeah, I can see it. I can taste it, too.” His head disappears between my legs and his tongue replaces his fingers. Both of his strong hands grip the outside of my thighs and he lifts me up so he can get a better angle to fuck me with his mouth.
I’ve become immobile and can do nothing but feel his rough tongue sliding in and out, licking every millimeter, sucking and biting. “God, Lee … it feels so good.”
He pulls his mouth away, my juice shining on his chin. “Tastes good, too.” He crawls up my torso and licks my lips. “See?”
I run my tongue along my wetness and nod.
“Yeah, it’s delectable, isn’t it? In fact, it’s so good that I want more. Watch me eat you, princess.” I sit up on my elbows, and in a matter of seconds, he’s back between my thighs, but this time, he uses his fingers to fuck me and his mouth to devour my clit. I spasm around him and cry out when he sucks my clit into his mouth, pulling it aga
inst his tongue. He slowly licks light circles around it and lets me ride his fingers until I collapse on the bed. “Holy shit, that was amazing.”
“You’re amazing. So beautiful when you come. Stay spread for me just like that but bend your knees a little.”
I happily comply, and he wastes no time in sticking his rigid dick into my soaking wet hole. “Holy fuck!”
“Ungh.” I grunt in agreement.
“Babe, I wish I could make this last all night.” He pulls out and slams back in so hard that I have to put my hands over my head and push against the wall so I don’t move. “But there’s no way that’s gonna happen. I’m just gonna fuck you real quick ‘til you come again, all right?” He grabs my ass and my legs rest on his forearms. I try to nod since I can’t form a word right now, but he’s pounding into me so fast that my head is already making the movement. I figure it’s a good enough acknowledgment. Especially since I’m pretty sure he’s going to take me there again really, really soon.
“You gonna come for me so I can make you mine again?”
“Yes,” I manage to mutter. God, I want to so bad.
“I’m gonna fill you up, and then later tonight, I want you to ride me with my cum still inside you, makin’ my dick nice and wet so you can take me nice and slow. We’ll watch my cock disappear into your tight little pussy.”
“Shit …”
“You ready, babe? I can’t wait anymore.”
“Yes, yes, yes,” I chant as my entire body shakes and he slams into me one more time. He holds me flush against his pelvis so hard that I feel like if he pushes any harder, we’ll meld together as one. It doesn’t hurt, though. It feels goddamn perfect because his sexy ‘V’ is right against my clit and the vibrations coming from his body are better than a vibrator.
“Jesus, holy shit. Fuck.” He releases my legs and his eyes widen. “Fuck, did I hurt you?”
I follow what he’s looking at and wave a hand in the air at his fingerprints on my thighs. “Do I look hurt?”
He falls next to me, nuzzles his face into my shoulder, and throws an arm over my belly. “You look beautiful.”
“Sure, I do.”
“You do. You always do.”
“Whatever.” I run my fingers through his wet hair and my stomach grumbles.
“Did you eat anything?”
“Umm, I had a banana this morning.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes.”
He pushes up on his elbow and tilts his head to rest on his hand. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“I am now, but my stomach hurt earlier,” I admit. I’ve been a huge bundle of nerves the past couple of days. Not in a bad way, but more nervous anticipation.
He contemplates me for a second, his eyes roaming over my face, pausing on my lips. “What sounds good?”
“Anything that doesn’t require me to leave the house. Pizza, Chinese, something like that.”
A wide grin spreads on his lips. “Excellent.”
“Sweet!” I use his chest for leverage and hop off the bed to grab my clothes. “Order something and I’ll take a quick shower.”
One of the perks of having short hair is it dries quickly, so I wash it again, do a fast but thorough job of cleaning my sweaty body, and am out in less than five minutes. “Bet that was faster than you,” I yell through the crack in the door.
“It’s been seven minutes, and I was done in four. Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Whatever. That’s still fast for a girl.”
“One of the million reasons I love you. Hey?”
“Yeah?”
“I ordered Chinese. Figure we can go grab a pizza for lunch tomorrow.”
I emerge from the bathroom dressed again and sit on the couch next to him. “Sounds good. I took the weekend off, so I don’t go back ‘til Tuesday.”
I snuggle into his side and we scroll through the channels and spend the night watching old movies and eating sesame chicken and popcorn. Every once in a while, one of us catches the other staring, and we’ll laugh and kiss and act the way we used to. It’s just as I’d hoped. What I thought was too good to be true.
His phone rings and he answers it and mouths that he has to take it. He disappears into the kitchen and though muffled, he sounds happy, excited almost. A minute later, he comes back and I can tell he’s trying to fight back a smile.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, what’s the dopey grin for?”
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Ohh, tell me more.” I rub my hands together.
“No way, then it wouldn’t be a surprise. We’ll go in the morning.”
“Where?”
“I’m not telling.”
“Oh, come on. That’s mean.” I change my tactic and give him a pouty face. “Please?”
“You’re adorable, but that’s not gonna work.” He pinches my nose and laughs. “Sorry.”
“You suck.” I feign a pout and plop back on the couch.
“Aww, is the princess upset?” He kneels on the floor and spreads my legs apart.
“Yes. She’s very upset.”
“Hmm.” He uses the very tips of his fingers to trace up my legs and back down again. Then they continue their journey up my arms, across my collarbone, up back and forth across my lips, down between my breasts, and finally stop at the button of my jeans. “Do you think there’s any way I can get forgiveness until tomorrow? I promise to make it worthwhile.”
“I suppose you could try.”
Chapter 21
Liam
I DON’T CONSIDER MYSELF a creeper watching my girl sleep. I mean, I’ve missed so much of this that I forgot how fucking cute she is. The way her nose scrunches every now and then, and how she sighs deeply and snuggles her head deeper into the pillow. Lucky isn’t the word I’d use to describe myself right now; it’s more like undeservingly blessed. I wasn’t sure what exactly to expect when I walked into her apartment, but what’s happened the past twelve hours has been better than I could have ever imagined.
The recent months have been a roller coaster filled with corkscrews. While everything with my personal life is going perfect, my relationship with the band has suffered. They support me, I know they do, but I still had to sit around and listen to them talk about the future of the band without me. What they were going to do. Whether they were going to take a break until they found a replacement. They decided it would be best to continue with a new drummer, so as of right now, Jordan Wright is the new drummer of Reason to Ruin.
I tried to take it like a man but failed miserably when I was on my own. Out of respect for me, the guys took all the alcohol off the bus, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t tempted. That I didn’t have the thought. But all I needed to do was think about what was waiting for me back home, and the desire for alcohol was replaced with a desire for something else.
She rolls over and smiles at me. “I can feel you watching me.”
“So?”
“You’re a bit of a creeper, aren’t you?”
I tickle her sides and she pushes my hands away. “Stop! I have to pee!”
“Fine.” I kiss her soft lips and walk out in the hallway with her. “What do you want for breakfast?”
“Just a banana and maybe a granola bar or something.”
We eat and get ready within in an hour, and I drive us in her car to the destination. My heart hammers in my chest and sweat begins to form under my hat. This may be too fast, but it might not. I just don’t know. We get to a subdivision, and I drive through it and past Charlotte and Travis’ house and take a right at the very end of the street.
“Why are we here?”
“Just a minute and you’ll see.”
I go down a little hill, turn down a secluded street, and stop in front of it.
“Lee?” She questions.
“What do you think?”
“Liam, what is this?”
I shut the car off and walk around to open her
door. She’s a little shocked, so I lean down and grab her hand to pull her out.
“You see—I fucked up your dream house. If it weren't for me, you would have been in that farm house already.”
“What did you do?” We walk a couple of feet into the yard and look up at it. “Oh, my God, Lee. What did you do?”
“I tried to get it, but it was already sold. So I did the next best thing. I had this built. It’s not an exact replica, but James did the best he could. If you look at pictures, there isn’t much difference. This porch is bigger, but we have less land here and no fruit trees, sorry.” Her mouth is hanging open and she just stares, unblinking, at the house. “The bones are done. The yard is done. But the inside needs to be finished. We decided it’d be best to let you pick out colors and all that girly shit.” I nervously shuffle my feet waiting for her reaction. “Well …”
She shakes her head slowly then turns and jumps up into my arms and kisses me hard and fast. “I love it. Oh, my God. I can’t believe you did this! It’s awesome!”
I grab her a little tighter, just because I can. Because feeling my arms wrapped around her is the only thing that matters. “It’s the least I could do. I’m just sorry you didn’t get the one you wanted.”
“Are you freaking kidding me? A new house is so much better!” Her feet are light when they fall back on the ground. “I wanna see it all, show me!”
Once we arrive in the backyard, she gasps at the view. “This is why we’re so far away from everyone.”
I told James what I wanted and he knew the exact place. We have a remarkable view of the lake and surrounding evergreens. “You’re close to Char and a neighborhood, so we’re not so secluded, but I think it’s perfectly private. Plus, I’ll be getting a security gate.”
She jumps up and down clapping. “It’s perfect. Holy shit, I love it! Let me see the rest.”
We walk to the back door and I pull a key out of my back pocket. Once the door is unlocked, I pick her up bridal style and she laughs. “God, you’re so corny.”
