by Anna Brooks
I don’t have any other family except for my dad, and I grew up with the Kellys filling the void. They gave me whatever I felt I was missing by only having Dominic Nervetti’s rugged ass raising me since my mom ditched us when I was a baby.
I finally doze off and wake up at nine-thirty to my phone blaring. Sometimes I feel guilty for keeping the fact that I work for Special Forces a secret from everyone. Aside from my dad, Declan’s the only one who knows now, because I joined the force at the same time as he went to boot camp. Since I’m the same age as Declan, which is six years older than Pierce, they were all too young to realize I wasn’t around that much all those years ago. I did a lot of undercover work, but now I only get called for high-risk situations.
In less than three minutes I’m out of the house and on my way to a hostage situation at a bank. I park around the corner and open my trunk to grab all my gear, slide my mask on, and insert my earpiece. I take the back staircase of the building across the street and jog over to the side of the roof closest to the bank.
Lying on my stomach, I aim my Remington toward the building and use the scope to find my target. Fucker’s got a gun pointed at a pregnant woman’s head.
“You’re clear to take your shot, Nervetti.” My boss’ voice echoes through my ear, and I rest my finger against the trigger. I become hyper-focused on my target, my vision like a wild animal stalking its prey. The hostage is moving too much. Her entire body is shaking and because the asshole has her in a headlock, he’s really close to her, making it difficult to get a clear shot.
The woman freezes momentarily, and I take the opportunity to send a single round right between the captor’s eyes. The pregnant woman falls to the ground, and I notice a puddle of water in front of her. That was why she froze. The rest of SWAT swarms in, and I watch them arrest the accomplices before I pack up my stuff.
“Good work, Nervetti. You’re clear.”
I nod, knowing that boss man can see me. I hustle back to my car, carefully putting all my equipment away and then I drive off. Once I make it around the corner, I rip my mask off and throw it in the passenger seat. I head to the station and fill out my report, then on autopilot I head down to the lake and walk over to a large rock. I hop up then lie on my back. When I close my eyes, I try not to picture the man I just killed, but the woman who I saved. The steady whoosh of the water causes me to doze off for an hour, and when I wake up I go home and take a shower, then eat something before going to the pub for my night shift.
Chapter 4
Lisa
I CAN’T HELP BUT notice Nik is worn out tonight. He doesn’t even give me a sideways glance, and I should be happy about that. Being a bitch to him was supposed to push him away. It was supposed to make him hate me so he’d stop looking at me like he wants more. And now that he’s doing exactly that, I’m regretting my ridiculous behavior.
Like last night, everyone leaves but the two of us, and as we clean up and he does the drawer, I feel like I should say something. Maybe apologize or explain. But if I do that, then he’ll know how he affects me, and I don’t want to give him the upper hand.
I go to the storage room to grab a case of beer, and as I’m walking out the door, Nik walks in. Without saying anything, he grabs my face between his hands and crushes his lips against mine. The case of beer lands on my toe before I kick it off and stand stock-still. The pleasure of his lips outweighs the pain. His mouth works against mine, so soft and strong and demanding. He coaxes me, sliding his tongue against my lips and nipping at them, begging for me to let him in. Each second that passes, my willpower begins to wear, and he senses it, pulling back to look into my eyes.
“Kiss me back, baby.”
My fingers vibrate with nerves as I reach up and grab his arms, the warmth of his body seeping through his shirt. My eyes close as he begins his descent, and I hold my breath in anticipation. His lips peck at mine, and I open my mouth, allowing him in, giving him permission to annihilate me. I stroke my tongue against his and moan into him. His answering growl catches me off guard and makes my knees weak.
With little resistance on my part, he backs me up into the shelves and the glass bottles shake behind me. One of his hands slides down from my face and glides over my ribcage then back up again. His thumb presses against my breast, and when an involuntary shudder passes through me, he takes that as an invitation and slides his hand under my shirt. When his calloused fingers rub against the silk of my bra, I pull away. “Stop, Nik. I can’t.”
His breath heavy and eyes dark, he takes his hand out from under my shirt. “Yes, you can. You want it just as bad as I do.”
There’s no denying he’s right. If anything, I want him more, but I’ll just continue to lie to him. “I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both. I can’t sleep with you because I won’t put myself in a position to be destroyed again, and you might not know it, but you have that power already.”
I duck out from under his arms with the intention of leaving. I grab my purse from the bar then run out the back door. It puts me in an alley, and I lean against the cool brick to collect myself. Never in my life have I been kissed that thoroughly. It was almost like he was fucking my mouth, and damn it, I do want more; I want everything he can give me. But I’m not that person anymore, so I push the thought aside of us being an us, even if just for the night, and I walk home.
When I moved here a month ago, I spent the majority of my money on a down payment for a house, and I am using what’s left of Brad’s life insurance policy to pay the mortgage. Hopefully I’ll be able to start making enough money to afford a car payment, but I got lucky and only work about six blocks from where I live. If I need to go somewhere else, my mom takes me, I take a cab, or I hop on the bus. Not the most ideal, but it is what it is.
Headlights cast a shadow behind my body, and as they get brighter, I grip my can of pepper spray. A car door slams, and I look down, scurrying faster along the sidewalk.
“Get your ass in the car.” Nik’s angry voice makes me jump, and the pepper spray falls to the ground.
He picks it up, holding it out for me to take. “Thanks.” I put it back in my purse and point at the street. “I’m only a couple of blocks up. I can walk.”
“You’re a woman alone at two in the morning, and you think you’re fine walking home?”
“Yes. Thank you, though.”
“Lisa, stop being stubborn.”
“I’m not. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” I have to be, since I plan to be alone for the rest of my life. I have to rely on myself.
“Get in the car.” His patience is running thin, but I won’t back down.
“Go home, Nik. I’m fine.”
“Damn it, woman. Just get in the fuckin’ car!”
“I don’t need you to help me. I don’t need anybody!” The words fall out of my mouth, and I realize I’m screaming at him. My knees wobble as he stares at me, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears burning the back of my eyes from rolling out.
He licks his lips — God, his lips — and bobs his head. “Okay. If that’s what you want. I don’t want to get in the way of an independent woman’s right to her own stupidity.”
“Fuck you.”
“Bend over.”
“Ugh.” I cross my arms and tap my foot. “Just go, Nik. I’m fine.”
He shakes his head and disappointment rolls off him, which makes me feel … bad. Right before he opens his door, I holler his name. He doesn’t look at me but pauses so I know he’s listening. “Thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”
He dips his head in acknowledgment and starts the engine. I begin to walk away and wave when he passes. His headlights fade as they turn the corner, and I chastise myself for letting him get to me.
A couple of minutes later, I’m home. I stick my key in the lock, turn it, and open the door before stepping inside. A foot appears in the doorway as I’m closing it, and I scream, pushing harder. A glo
ved hand curls around the door, and I back away scared shitless and head toward the back door desperate for an escape. Before I can get there, a hand is thrown over my mouth, and I’m pressed against the wall, my breasts crushed against the old plaster walls.
I kick my feet and try to hit something, but my arms are wrenched behind my back and held in a strong grip. The leather of his gloves begins to burn on my skin, and when mixed with my tears, the flavor leaks into my mouth. With a foot between my legs, he kicks my legs apart and a sob tears through my throat.
“You can take care of yourself, huh?”
His voice hits me, and I freeze. Nik slowly removes his hands, and I fall to the floor and pull my knees to my chest, letting all the fear and relief pour through me. After a minute of choking cries, I feel his hands under my arms as he tries to lift me up. I push away from him and stand on my own, then shove him hard.
“You are such an asshole!” I scream at him and hit his chest a few more times. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that?”
“Because for some damn reason, I fuckin’ care about you.” He grabs my wrists and pins them to my chest. “Stop hitting me.”
“That’s how you show someone you care? By scaring the ever-loving shit out of them?”
“I was proving a point.” He has the nerve to look sorry, and I hate that he’s right. But I’ll never admit that to his stubborn, sexy ass.
“Get the fuck out of my house!”
“You have to realize sick fuckers exist out there who will learn your routine and follow you home then rape every hole in your body before they slice you open and leave you to rot.”
I dry heave in my mouth and he lets me go again, only to bring back a bottled water from my fridge. “Here.” He twists the cap off and hands it to me.
The cool liquid helps to calm me, and I pull out a kitchen chair and sit down. He leans on the wall he had me pressed against only moments before when I thought my life was about to be over.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
A humorless laugh gets stuck in my throat, and I shake my head. “Sorry?”
“Listen, you’re a beautiful, single woman who works at a bar. You don’t think one of these days some drunk asshole is gonna see you walking home and do what you thought I was going to do? One out of every six women—”
I push my chair away as his words just piss me off further. Who the hell does he think he is? “What are you, a fuckin’ cop or something? Take your statistics and shove them up your ass and get the hell out of my house!”
He nods, realizing I’m not going to sit here and listen to his shit. “Lock the door behind me.”
I turn my back to him and jump when the front door shuts, my nerves spiraling into a tightness I’ve never experienced before. He’s right; I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t be walking home alone. I’m in an area I don’t really know, and I leave a bar during the middle of the night.
At one time, I didn’t have to worry about coming home to an empty house. Brad was there. He kept me safe … except for when he was gone, but even then, I felt safer just because it was our house and his truck sat in the driveway.
This was supposed to be a fresh start and a new beginning for me to be independent for the first time ever. Now, I have a man who makes me feel, toying with my emotions on a level he doesn’t even understand.
Too tired to even contemplate the shit storm of tonight, I head to my room and change into pajamas, but then realize I forgot to lock the door, so I turn back around and reach for the lock at the same time there’s a knock.
“It’s just me.”
I hold a hand to my heart and steady my breath before I open the door. Nik looks at me in my flannel pants and tank top then shoves his hands in his back pockets and kicks a pebble on my stoop.
“What?” I’m tired, he scared the shit out of me and, and … just, him! How can someone I just met drive me this crazy already?
“I just wanted to apologize again. That was really out of line, and I shouldn’t have done it, but I was worried about you. The world is not as pretty of a place as you think it is.”
Chapter 5
Nik
I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT a bastard I am. Lisa doesn’t even look mad at me anymore; she looks hurt. The rebellion that normally glares back at me is now a stare of uncertainty. I’d rather have her avoid me because she feels something for me than have her hate me because I’m a prick.
She puts a hand on her hip and shakes her head. “You think I don’t know that? Do you think I haven’t lived through a hell so deep I questioned whether I’d be able to crawl out? That I don’t know how fucking cruel the world really is?”
“I overheard you at the restaurant.”
“I know. And I don’t want your fuckin’ pity. I just want you to stay the hell away from me because I can’t …” She wipes under her eyes then crosses her arms across her chest. “I want to, God you make me want to, but I just can’t, Nik.” Her whispered words are the final straw, and I pull her into my arms. She’s saying the words, but there’s no resolve in them.
Her body shakes, and I lift her up and kick the door shut behind me. “I’m fine,” she says against my chest through her tears as she holds on to me.
I walk us over to her couch and sit down with her across my lap. I hold her head against me and run my fingers through her hair. “Shh.” I kiss her temple and her eyes lower, exhaustion finally overcoming her. Once she falls asleep, I hold her for a little longer just because I can. Because this is how it’s supposed to be.
I can’t believe I let my fuckin’ dick take over and practically assaulted her in the stockroom earlier. But damn if she wasn’t the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. And she fits so perfectly in my arms as if she was born to be there. I can’t even imagine how she’d feel wrapped around my cock either. If just holding her feels so right, I don’t even want to think about more because my balls will probably fall off.
And with that thought, I know I need to get out of here. I turn and roll her off me and grab a blanket from the back of the couch to cover her with. With her eyes closed, she reaches for my arm and pulls me down then kisses my cheek. “Love you, Brad.”
* * *
The next month goes by with Lisa and me working a lot of opposite shifts. I didn’t want to ask Meara what was up with that because I didn’t want to seem like I noticed, but I noticed. Not only have I hardly seen Lisa, but when I do, her eyes are completely empty.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that she’s not ready for any type of relationship, no matter how casual. So as hard as it is for me to accept it, I do. I’d like to at least be there for her, be a friend, but she won’t even allow that.
I’m at the gym running on the treadmill when my phone goes off, and I immediately hop down and grab my keys to leave.
“You out already?” Pierce questions as I’m about to walk out the door.
“Yeah, take it easy, man.”
I speed off in my car and head south to the outdoor shopping center where there is another hostage situation. It takes me twenty minutes to get there, and as soon as I arrive, I pull on all my gear and look around for a good angle. Like the last situation I was involved in, the suspect has a woman shoved under his arm with a gun to her head.
A grassy area off to the side will be the perfect place, although it puts me in his sights if he looks into the distance. I lie on my stomach, and only a second passes before I look through my scope. The hostage’s head is down, her dark hair a shield that I wish could really protect her. No. He jerks her head up, and Lisa’s eyes, filled with sheer terror, reflect back at me through my lens. “Fucking motherfucker.” I look again and squeeze my eyes shut, nausea coiling in my stomach. When I look again, I realize I’m hallucinating. I swallow through the tightness clogging my throat and try to detach myself.
It’s not her, but fuck, she looks just like her … I’m losing my damn mind.
I can’t look at the hostage, so I do what I came here for. “Y
ou’re clear for the shot.” My head buzzes after the words come through my ear, and I pull my hand away from the trigger for a second to shake the nerves out of it. When he presses the gun harder against her head, she winces and leans away from the pain, but he leans with her. I scoot my body to the left to get a better angle and take a deep breath before putting my finger back on the trigger.
“Move, motherfucker. You piece of shit, move.” I follow his movements, but he’s too close to her for me to get a shot off. He spins around in a circle and starts screaming. “Suspect’s anger is escalating.”
I rip the earbud out and readjust my grip then focus on the bastard. He holds the gun away from her for a second, waving it around the crowded store. He’s still too damn close to her and too mobile for a clear shot. When he puts the gun back to her head, he pauses for a moment, and I take advantage and fire. A hole appears between his eyes and the woman screams before he collapses to the ground. She steps away from him and runs toward the police.
I quickly look away and gather up my things then hustle to my car.
In lieu of decompressing at the lake after I finish my paperwork, I go back home and take a hot ass shower then grab a beer and fall down on my couch. Needing a distraction, I turn on ESPN and before I get too comfortable, I get up and grab a couple more beers. A few hours later, there’s a knock on my door, and I begrudgingly get up to answer it.
As soon as there’s a foot open, Lisa slides in and points at me. “It was you.”
“What?”
“Don’t what me.” She storms in and slams the door behind her. “You were there today. You were the one who shot him. I saw it on the news.”
Fuckin’ media must have got video of me. Fuck. I pretend to be surprised by what she says. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
