by Samantha Bee
I’ll set Ryder, Ian, Ty, and Holden new circuits through the tunnels every day that they will have to run. I’ve scheduled them so that they have alternating long and short days. I don’t want them too exhausted for other training and their regular duties.
This morning I sent them on an easy three miles, I watch their trackers move on my computer screen to monitor their progress. So far, they’ve been keeping pace together and haven’t had any stops. They should be finishing up pretty quickly now and back to the house within the hour.
I pet Roe’s hair as she lays next to me watching Peter Pan. She still isn’t using her words but more and more often she’s communicating in other ways. Her smiles come more easily and seem more natural on her small face. Some of her wounds are still healing at a slower pace but the doctor has told us that all we can do is keep an eye on them and make sure to change her bandages daily.
I check on the guys movements one more time, running through some of the camera feeds as well, before going back to what I’ve been working on the last few days. The phone and files I stole from Ciar’s base have helped me start cracking more information on Romano’s operations.
I’ve been trying for years to gather intel on him but with what I gathered I was able to not only get my hands on a hell of a lot of information but also answers on where and how Romano stores all of his backlogs. They keep meticulous records and one file at a time, I’ve been breaking into them and harvesting every single detail I can from each transaction.
Guards, buyers, sellers, hunters, locations of operations, photos, emails, money trails. All the evidence a prosecutor could dream of. I am slowly gathering more and more to prepare for Romano’s takedown. It’s going to be a sweet first step towards revenge.
Kade walks into the room and looks over my shoulder before whistling, “Holy shit, Ladybug.” I turn and smirk at him over my shoulder, “I know, it’s slow going but I’m collecting everything we should need.”
“Is this everything?” he asks, wonder evident in his tone as he sits on the other side of Roe. He lifts her legs and settles them back down into his lap. It warms my heart that she doesn’t flinch at his touch at all, she just settles into the both of us like it’s the most natural thing for her to do.
“Not everything,” I grumble. “I have to go through transaction by transaction to get all of the information we need but this basically gave me the map to figure out where everything we need is.” I stretch my arms over my head as I explain, “It’s not an all-access pass though, some files will be harder than others.” I continue to explain some of the intricacies of what I’m doing and all that I still have to do.
It’s a lot more complicated than just sitting here and hitting download. I still have a lot of encryptions to break through for different files and some of the information I’m getting is just pointing me on where to look next. I look up and realize Kade has no idea what I’m talking about and is just staring at me with his signature dopey ass grin. “What?” I ask, a little self-consciously.
“Nothing,” he smiles, far too sweetly for him. My eyes narrow in his direction, “You just amaze me.” I roll my eyes at his words. He really can be such a dork at times. I turn away from him and check on the guys’ progress one more time.
I hum to myself, “Don’t forget we have training today,” I remind Kade. We decided to just bring Roe and we told Holden and Ian to bring their boys as well. The gym is shut down for only inner circle members today because I’m having some of the girls we’ve saved brought there for their own training.
We don’t want them to be overwhelmed with too many people and we don’t want them exposed to anyone outside of our circle. Kade will run the team’s training and I will focus on teaching the girls self-defense while overlooking their training.
It’ll be safe to bring Roe and it is time to let everyone know she is here to stay. Joe will be there as well so everyone can understand the new dynamics of what is happening. Roe is family now. I also really want to get her around some kids her own age and I know the boys are pretty close to it.
Roe looks up between the both of us and I continue to stroke her hair, “You’re coming with us, Roe baby. Remember the friends we talked about?” She nods hesitantly, “They’ll be there today. You can play with them or you can hang out with me, okay?” I always try to make sure she has a choice in everything she does.
I’ve done a lot of reading about kids being traumatized and I know it can be something that helps her gain back control of her life and body. Just the importance of being able to make her own decisions and knowing she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
I check the tracking monitor and see that they are finishing up the route and should be heading to the gym soon. I look to Roe and hold my arms out to her, “Wanna go get ready?” She nods as she quickly climbs all the way into my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.
I carry her into my room and lay out a couple of outfits she can choose from that will work for running around and playing with the boys. She sits and watches me as I pull out my own workout clothes. I put on olive green athletic shorts with a matching sports bra and pull a loose black tank over it.
Roe looks at her own options before grabbing the sparkly black leggings I laid out. Instead of grabbing the matching pink tank top I paired with it, she reaches over to a different outfit I had laid out and grabs a shirt that’s the same color as my shorts. I giggle at her choices as I tease her, “You want to match with me, Roe baby?” She grins as she nods up to me. I ruffle her hair and help her get dressed in her outfit.
I walk back into our closet before coming out with matching black Nike’s for both of us. The guys have really outdone themselves in the shopping department. Who knew they all had such good fashion sense? I show her the shoes and she beams as I put them first on her and then don my own pair.
I sit her on the floor in front of me as I brush out her long hair. We should probably take her to get a trim soon too. I pull it into an easy side braid like the one Elsa wears. I quickly do my hair to match before walking her over to the mirror so we can see how we look together.
We grin, we complement each other perfectly. She strokes her braid lovingly and another giggle bursts out of my lips. I am not a girl who giggles. Not ever. But for Roe? Well, Roe brings out a softer side to me that I didn’t even know existed. I want to give her every ounce of goodness that may be left in my tarnished soul.
“Alright, sweet girl. Let’s go,” I hold my hand out for her and she instantly wraps her little fingers around mine.
Kade and Luca walk out the door in their own workout clothes just as I finish buckling Roe into her seat. I’ve done a lot of reading about everything baby and toddler related. I never really realized just how much thought goes into everything.
I climb into the seat next to her as Luca hops behind the wheel and Kade takes the front seat. He looks back and grins as he takes in our outfits and our hair, “You two look adorable.” Roe gives him a big smile and I feel the warmth expanding in my chest again.
It doesn’t take us long to get to the gym. I unbuckle Roe and she immediately hops into my arms. I’ve found she prefers to be carried in any situation she feels unsure of what she’s going into. I don’t blame her, so I snuggle her right into my chest and let her bottom rest on my hip as we make our way inside.
It looks like we beat Ryder and the others here, but Mikey and Ronan are already waiting for us. I’d given them the heads up that we had Rowan with us, and she was the same little girl they met during the raid. I didn’t want their surprise to be obvious to her and make her feel anything less than welcome.
They walk over and gently say hi to her before placing a kiss on my cheek. She gives them both a small nod but no smiles. It’s clear she still isn’t comfortable with strangers and I would never try to force anyone on her. They look to me for directions, but I just tilt my head towards Kade, and they walk away.
I continue holding Roe as I show her aro
und the gym and explain all the different equipment and things she can see. We brought a backpack full of stuff she likes so we can set the kids up in one of the sparring rings while keeping an eye on them.
I set down her stuff before turning back to her, “What do you think, sweet girl? Stay here or explore more?” She points back out around the ring. I grin and start walking her through the equipment again. We stop by a punching bag and I start to teach her how to throw a punch.
Her little fists can’t do much damage, but I figure it’s never too early to learn not to tuck your thumb, right? She smiles as she mimics my moves, neither of us putting any real force behind our hits. She’s probably too little for that.
“Holy shit, it’s a mini-Scar,” Ty’s surprised voice draws my attention away from Roe and the bag to see we’ve gained quite the audience watching us. Charlene and Joe must have arrived a few minutes ago, as she is already getting the three boys set up in the ring where I left Roe’s stuff while Joe’s focus is on me and Roe.
Ian smacks Ty, “Dude, watch your mouth,” he scolds as he gestures to the kids. I snicker because I know for a fact the boys and Roe have heard a lot worse.
Roe is already wrapped around my leg as she realizes how many people are in the room. Thankfully, she knows and is comfortable with about half of the people already here. Joe and Charlene have stopped by every day to help her get acclimated to them. It’s still a lot of new faces for her though. I lean down and let her jump into my arms and settle her back onto my hip. Thank god she is so little.
The three boys are all staring at her intently and I can see the curiosity in her gaze as she studies them right back. I wave to the guys who just arrived before making my way to the boys. I stand in front of the ring and Roe hides her face in my shoulder.
“Hi, boys,” I smile at the three of them. “This is my friend Rowan,” I introduce them to her and slightly lift her on my hip, but she doesn’t unbury her face from my shoulder, so I just keep talking to the boys. “She’s four and a little shy.”
Trevor is the first to grin at me, “I’m five,” he proudly tells me as he holds up five fingers. I laugh and bop his nose, “I know, you had a birthday just a few months ago!” He nods eagerly, excited that I knew that. I remember Kade stressing out over buying him a present.
“And the twins should be turning five in just a few weeks, huh?” I ask the other two. They both nod and Kai exclaims, “Daddy said we could have a Paw Patrol party! Can Rowan come?” At that, Roe pokes up her head and slightly adjusts so she can peer at them from underneath her eyelashes without fully facing them.
“What do you think, Roe baby? You wanna go to a Paw Patrol party?” She shrugs and I realize I don’t think we’ve watched it. I turn back to the boys, “You know, boys, I don’t think Rowan has ever seen it. Maybe you can tell her all about it?”
Kai becomes a little ball of energy as he rockets through the gym until he gets the iPad from Charlene and takes it over to Ian to set up an episode of the show so he can show her. I smile as I watch and whisper to Roe what he’s doing so she doesn’t have to lift her head to see.
“You wanna watch some cartoons with them?” She hesitantly nods against my chest just as Kai returns with the iPad all ready to go. “Okay, sweet girl, can you look up?” She takes a moment to lift her head up but as soon as she does, she straightens herself up like she doesn’t want to show any fear.
I smile at her grit, “This is Trevor,” I introduce Holden’s son to her before gesturing to the twins, “This is Kairen and Callum.” She gives them a small wave and I beam at her small form of communication. She lets me put her down and I get the four of them situated in the ring. Before playing their show, I level my gaze on the boys, “Okay, boys. Listen up, Rowan doesn’t talk so I need you guys to look out for her, okay?”
All three of them immediately nod. Ian and Holden are both single dads, but they’ve done a fantastic job with these kids. They are some of the sweetest and most well-behaved kids I’ve ever met. Not that I have a load of experience but still. They really are sweet kids. “Thank you, boys. Just call me if you need anything or something is wrong, okay?” More nods.
I kiss Roe on the top of the head, and she waves to me as I set their show up and walk away. I feel an unknown emotion swirling through me, I don’t know why this moment feels so overwhelming. She isn’t even out of my sight.
Joe walks over to me and throws an arm over my shoulder, “You’re a great mother, Scar.”
I scoff, “I’m not her mother, Joe. And even if I were, I would be a shit one.”
He rolls his eyes at me and pats my shoulder affectionately, like he’s about to explain something to a five-year-old. “Scarlett,” my eyes narrow, no one ever calls me Scarlett, “that little girl had never been shown love or affection before you saved her. You were the first person to show her kindness and give her comfort.”
I shake my head, denying the validity of his words. It’s just not possible for me to be what he is saying. “That doesn’t make me her mom.” It would be a curse for her to get saddled with a mother like me. I’m far too broken and she deserves a hell of a lot more. “I wouldn’t even know how to be a mother.”
He chuckles, “You’re already doing it.” My eyes widen, my chest tightens, and I feel an odd swirling of anxiety and pride rushing through my chest. I still can’t just accept his words though. There are still too many problems with me being a mom.
“She deserves more,” I continue shaking my head. “I’m too dangerous to give her what she needs.”
He pats my shoulder again, “Charlene and I have always thought of you like the daughter we never had,” he says, his voice filled with affection. “We are happy to be Rowan’s grandparents and keep her with us until we sort this mess out.”
I sigh, “You make it sound so simple, Joe.” It’s not though, right? Nothing in life is ever that simple. “I don’t know if this is a mess we will ever sort out.”
“It is,” he places a chaste kiss on the top of my head. “Have faith, sweet girl. In yourself and in your team. You’ve built a good life here.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Joe’s words spin through my mind the entire time I’m getting the guys set up on their training for the day. While training for the fights focuses on their strength, agility, and ability to take a hit, I need them to focus on learning how to be quick, silent, and deadly. Brute force is not always needed to be successful on these raids and all these guys already have that honed perfectly.
I get them set up stretching and warming up before the girls get here. I had Josie set it up and she reached out to any of the girls still in the area that would be interested in learning to defend themselves.
Most of the girls we save get relocated and aren’t still around here. Some of them never even end up setting foot in St Graves. We have safe houses all over the country. Of the three we saved along with Rowan, one was able to go home, one got placed with a family in New York, and the one who asked me to train her is still staying in one of our safe houses nearby.
She hasn’t quite decided what she wants to do yet. I’m hoping that giving her back some control will help her decide how she wants to move forward. We have no issue with her staying in the house and can easily sign it over to her. She just has to make that decision for herself and I don’t allow any type of pressure being put on these girls. She can make her choice whenever she is ready.
Until then, I’ll meet with her and a handful of other girls a few times a week to make sure they can defend themselves to the best of their ability. I don’t know why I never thought of it earlier. We do have a program that part of it is self-defense, but I think what I have to teach is probably a little different. Slightly more deadly.
Just as I get the guys going on their drills to practice being light on their feet, Katie leads a small group of women into the gym. Katie is the same age as I am, we rescued her from an operation that was based in Arizona about four years ago. She fell in love with
St Graves and asked if she could stay here, she had nothing to go back home to.
We got her set up in a chic apartment downtown and got her a job at one of the businesses the foundation owns. Within a year she became the manager of the little boutique store and is now working on opening two more storefronts.
I rarely keep in contact with the girls we rescue but I do like to keep tabs on their progress and make sure they’re able to succeed even after the trauma they endured. Katie’s story always brings a smile to my face. I’m not surprised in the slightest to see her leading the group.
The girl from the raid walks silently next to her as Katie talks excitedly about who knows what. That would be a good friendship for this girl to have. She could even have a job in managing one of Katie’s stores if she’s open to the hard work and proves she’s capable. We want to help these girls as much as we can, and we present them with as many opportunities as possible. But that’s what they are, opportunities. They still have to put in the work to succeed.
“Hello, ladies,” I smile as they approach me. I notice a couple of the girls sending hesitant looks towards the guys. “Don’t worry about them,” I assure them, “they are all on my extraction teams. This is their training to help us save more girls in bad situations.” I overlook the group and count seven girls came in. It’s honestly more than I expected.
“They will be training at the same times we are because I want to train you all personally, but I still need to track the progress of my team.” I point out each of the guys and call out their names, they each wave or smile but don’t focus on the girls. They all know that the victims we deal with can feel anxiety at being under the scrutiny of men, especially a lot at one time. “It will be the same faces so hopefully you all will be able to get used to them. I promise you that you are safe here.”
