by Vivi Holt
Traipsing to the window in her nightgown and cap, Katie leaned on the ledge and peered out at the farm below. In the distance she could see David leading a brown cow with a white head into a large, red barn. A fluffy dog bounded around his legs, chuffing and yapping in delight. Further down the field, a small herd of cattle with the same brown and white markings were grazing on the green grass. Other than the single field of grass, the rest of the property on every side was covered in swaying fields of golden wheat. The half-grown crop reached skyward, tall and straight, ready for the thick heads that would sprout and grow heavy when the weather turned warm.
Katie dressed quickly, and washed up in a washbasin that Mrs. Hutchins had kindly filled with clean, fresh water and left by her bedroom door. She looked around for a mirror and found one inside the wardrobe, where she was able to smooth her hair back into a chignon, check it for stray wisps and pinch her pale cheeks before she hurried downstairs. She was starving, and if she didn’t eat soon she’d be sick all over again.
Mrs. Hutchins might not be suspicious after she threw up once at the store, but she was bound to catch on quickly to Katie’s condition if she continued to be sick. Either that, or she and Kristoff would insist that Katie visit a doctor and she couldn’t do that without them discovering she was pregnant. She just had to make it to Friday without anyone guessing what was going on. After that, she’d be married and would tell Kristoff the truth.
It had been difficult to keep her condition a secret the previous evening in the buggy. All the way to the Hutchins’ farm, she’d been so ill. The boy driving the vehicle had pushed the horse into a canter almost as soon as they set off. They weaved, swayed, lurched, and careened around corners at top speed. It was all Katie could do not to throw up directly into Kristoff’s lap. She sat as still as she could, staring out the window and breathing slowly and deeply, but he kept peppering her with questions about her family. She gritted her teeth, and answered him as best she could, while striving desperately to hold the nausea at bay.
Katie hoped that she’d hidden her discomfort, but she wasn’t sure he was convinced by her performance. She got the impression he could tell she was hiding something. She hoped he hadn’t figured out just what her secret was. If he had, she could forget about him wanting to marry her. Even though her heart was still hurting from losing Nick, there was something about Kristoff that intrigued her.
She felt drawn to him, with his handsome face, the deep dimple in his cheek and his waves of golden hair. But it wasn’t just his looks that attracted her. He was confident, and had an aura of authority about him. At the same time he seemed so kind and gentle. It was an intoxicating combination, and Katie found herself hoping he’d come by the farm to see her soon. Perhaps he’d visit before work. If he didn’t, she supposed she could ride to the store with Mrs. Hutchins and would see him there.
“Good morning, Mrs. Hutchins,” called Katie, skipping into the generous kitchen. Fresh herbs hung drying on a rack in a corner of the room. Bright curtains in white with green leaves adorned the windows. Cedar benches lined two walls, and were covered with bowls, bunches of vegetables, candles, and various kitchen implements. A brick oven occupied one wall of the kitchen, and a large, black stove stood in the center of the kitchen with a tall chimney, giving the room a warm, cozy feel. On the stovetop sat a fresh-baked loaf of bread, the scent of it filling the entire house. Katie’s stomach growled threateningly, and she swallowed a wave of nausea.
“Good morning, Katie dear. Please, call me Mellie.” Mrs. Hutchins smiled kindly at her.
“All right, Mellie. This bread smells divine.”
“I’m so glad, would you like a slice?”
“Yes please. I’m famished!”
“Coming right up. Butter and strawberry jam? I made both myself, and I do believe they’re quite delicious, although I may be biased.” She laughed merrily as she cut the loaf cleanly with a long, sharp knife.
“That sounds perfect. Thank you.”
“How did you sleep?”
“Like I hadn’t a problem in the world.”
“Good to hear.”
“Mellie, do you think Kristoff will stop by before work this morning? I only ask because I like to plan out my day in the morning, and if I should expect him, I’d like to prepare.” Katie felt a flush of warmth rising to her cheeks, and she ducked her head as she sat at a long table made from thick, cedar planks that matched the benches. A green and white checked tablecloth covered the table, and two tall candlesticks stood in the center beside a vase containing a small bunch of lavender.
“Oh no, dear. He won’t be coming by this morning. He’d already be at the store meeting the suppliers. He has to meet the deliveries in the morning. Someone has to be there to check and sign for them. Maybe he’ll come by after the store closes this evening.”
“Oh.” Katie tried to hide her disappointment. She was surprised by her own reaction of dismay to Mrs. Hutchins remarks. Had she really been counting on seeing him so soon?
“Never mind, my dear. He won’t have forgotten about you, I can assure you of that. You’ll see him soon enough, and after Friday you’ll be husband and wife so you’ll get to spend every morning and evening together.”
“Yes, of course. Although, perhaps I could come to town with you. Are you going to the store today? I could ride with you, and maybe I could take a walk about the town, just to look around. I don’t want to bother Kristoff, but I would like to get a feel for the place.”
“I’ll be heading into town in the wagon after breakfast. You’re welcome to come with me if you like. Although I’m not sure Kristoff would want you traipsing about town on your own, seeing as how you’ve only just arrived and don’t know your way around.”
Mrs. Hutchins looked at Katie with concern, pausing with a butter knife poised above a thick slice of warm bread. Red, berry-filled jam dripped from the knife onto the buttered bread, and Katie felt her stomach spasm at the sight of it.
“Oh, I’ll be fine. Boston’s a much bigger place than Sacramento. Don’t worry about me, I’ll have no trouble finding my way back from wherever I roam to.”
“Well, all right then. Let’s eat and we’ll get going.”
The toll of a bell broke through the noise of the docks. The barge was coming to shore, and wanted a clear path through the crowd of vessels. Determined to see more of the town, Katie had walked down to the Sacramento River to stroll along its banks and watch the buzz of activity on the water and the shoreline. The town itself was flat and low set. The wide river formed its western border, and fingers of river water drifted into a swampy lake to form yet another border.
The buildings across the street from the river were built up high, and elevated boardwalks joined the storefronts across town. A faded timber sign showed the flood levels from 1862, only eight years earlier. Katie stood beside the sign, peering up at the mark – the water would have been well above her head. She shivered at the thought of all that brown, muddy water inundating the town, floating along streets and creeping into buildings.
The banks of the river were riddled with docks where boats were currently berthed, or were pushed away from the shore by dock workers, drifting off to begin a new journey. A fishing skiff sang through the water close by, the weathered looking fisherman driving it along heartily with a set of chipped oars. Katie watched it all with a smile on her face. It was good to get outdoors and breathe some fresh air after all her time indoors lately. The air was chill, but not as cold as Boston had been, and the sunshine warmed her face as she lifted it skyward.
After circling the block once, Katie had seen enough of Sacramento for one morning. She couldn’t believe how quickly she tired now that she was pregnant. All she wanted to do was lay down and take a nap, right after she ate something of course. A savory treat would really hit the spot. Perhaps another piece of warm bread, or a baked potato still in its jacket, or maybe she’d be able to find some cheese to slice over crackers. She licked her lips at the tho
ught of it, and scurried toward Petersen’s Mercantile.
Katie walked through the front door, waving to Mrs. Hutchins. She couldn’t help feeling at home in the welcoming atmosphere of Kristoff’s store. Mrs. Hutchins smiled at her and pointed her toward the back. That must be where Kristoff was working. Katie strode through the store, noticing how well the products were organized and displayed on the sturdy shelves, how neat and tidy the floor was, and how friendly the staff were who served customers at the long counter that ran along the entire length of one wall.
Kristoff ran an impressive business, and Katie was filled with sudden pride for her husband-to-be. The feeling was followed quickly by a pang of guilt over her secret. If she told him now about the pregnancy, maybe he’d still marry her. He seemed like a man who would keep his word. No, she couldn’t risk it. If this didn’t work out, she’d be back in Boston within the week, with no prospects.
Hannah was engaged to be married, and Katie had nowhere to live, no job to return to, and no way to support herself or her baby. The best possible scenario involved her giving up her child for adoption, and she couldn’t even think about that without a shudder of grief ripping through her body. She’d just have to keep her pregnancy from Kristoff for a few more days, and pray he’d be understanding when the truth came out.
The sound of Kristoff’s deep voice echoed from the back of the store, and Katie made her way toward it with a grin. Just then, she heard a woman’s voice answer him. The voice was silky and sultry, and whatever she said made Kristoff laugh. Katie stopped and listened intently. She scurried closer and peered around a stack of ladders leaning against the back wall. She spotted Kristoff talking to a beautiful woman in the storage room behind the shop front.
The woman was dressed in a queer outfit. Her gown was made of garishly colored silky fabrics, and her hat had several long feathers protruding from its peak. Her lips were colored red, and her cheeks looked flushed. She had one gloved hand resting on Kristoff’s arm, and as she spoke to him she leaned forward as though she were telling him the most delightful secret. Katie’s hand flew to her mouth, and she watched them in alarm. Kristoff appeared to be enjoying the woman’s company a little too much, and Katie felt a twinge of jealousy rising in the pit of her stomach.
“So, what do you say, Kristoff? Are you going to run away with me, or what?”
“Come on now Belle Waters, you know I’m engaged. I just told you not five minutes ago.” Kristoff chuckled with apparent delight, and patted Belle’s hand where it sat on his arm.
“You don’t want to marry that prudish, cold fish from Boston. She’s probably going to make you do it through a sheet, I know the type well.”
Katie glowered at the woman’s remarks, her cheeks blushing at the woman’s crudeness. Cold and prudish indeed. Is that what Kristoff was telling people about her? Or was this horrible woman drawing her own conclusions?
“Belle!”
“Oh don’t act shocked, Kristoff. You know you love it when I speak to you like that.”
“I most certainly do not,” Kristoff said, but Katie could see his grin widening.
“Well, anyway, what you need is someone with passion and experience. I’d give it all up you know, everything for you, if you just gave me the word. I only have eyes for you.” Belle’s face had changed expression, from jesting to serious as she spoke. She leaned forward and, for just a moment, she seemed to be pleading with him.
Kristoff eyed her with suspicion, he looked unsure of how to take her confession. “Belle, I . . . ”
“Forget it champ, I can see you’d never have me. I’m damaged goods. Don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you. You’re one of the few good men in this whole godforsaken town. I never see you at the saloon, and you not even a married man yet. I get it. I just wish – well perhaps in another life, things might have been be different.”
Just then, Mrs. Hutchins tugged on Katie’s arm, startling her.
“Oh, Mellie, you frightened me.”
“What are you doing?” she whispered, raising her eyebrows as though the two of them were involved in some kind of secret conspiracy.
“Nothing. I’m not doing anything. I was just admiring these ladders. They’re so solid, and such a unique design. I . . . ”
“Really, the ladders? Hmmm. Well, if you decide to buy one, please come and see me, I’m sure I can get you a discount,” Mrs. Hutchins kidded, chortling. “You wouldn’t be eavesdropping now, would you?”
“Of course not, Mellie.” Katie pretended to be indignant, drawing her eyebrows together in consternation.
Mrs. Hutchins nodded knowingly. “Nothing good can come of it, you mark my words. Best to just come out with your questions for Kristoff, if you have any. Honesty – that’s the only way, my dear.”
She ambled off with a snort. Katie watched her leave impatiently, then returned to her post, her ears pricked toward Kristoff and Belle. She could no longer see them, they must have moved behind the stacks of hay and boxes layered across the back of the storage area.
“I can’t follow through with it. I know we had an agreement, but it’s just not how I expected it to be. I’m afraid I can’t do what I promised.”
Kristoff’s voice was fading. There was a low murmur in response, but Katie couldn’t make out what else was being said as the speakers moved further away. Katie’s heart sank. She buried her face in her palms, and felt the tears come. Wet and warm, they filled the crevices between her fingers. Kristoff wasn’t going to marry her. He’d just told Belle as much. Hope crept from her chest, leaving a hollow emptiness in its place.
Katie stifled a sob, and pushed away her grief. She lowered her hands and used her sleeve to dry her face and eyes. Katie grasped the silver locket hanging around her neck, rubbing it absent-mindedly, she became lost in thought. He’d likely send her back to Boston on the next train, and she’d be all alone again. In that moment, she realized just how happy and secure she’d felt since she arrived in Sacramento – as though her future wasn’t without hope. That happy façade was stripped away in a moment, and she saw herself lost, afraid, and without hope all over again.
What would she do now? She plodded to the office, and threw herself down on the settee. As her eyes drifted closed, she prayed for hope. She asked God to give her and the baby a future together, to provide her with a way forward. Then she floated into a deep sleep, her appetite forgotten.
13
Kristoff scratched his head and leaned casually against the office doorframe. Katie was sleeping on the office settee again and he had no idea how she’d gotten there or when she’d arrived. She hadn’t even sought him out to say hello. He wondered what was going on in that pretty head of hers. And why was she so tired? She should have caught up on plenty of shut-eye last night out at the Hutchins’ farm, but maybe she hadn’t slept well for some reason. He couldn’t imagine why someone would need so much sleep. Unless she was seriously ill. She had thrown up the moment she arrived, after all. Perhaps she really was sick. He’d have to talk to her again about visiting the doctor.
Katie’s eyes flicked open and lighted on Kristoff’s smiling face. He felt a tremble course through his body, when for a moment it seemed her soul lay bare as she held his eyes with her gaze. Then she blinked and the moment passed. He straightened, and sauntered toward her, ruffling his hair with one hand and breathing deeply in an attempt to slow his heart rate and underplay the chemistry he felt between them.
“Sleeping again?” he asked.
“Mmmm. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep for so long.” Katie sat up and smoothed her skirts. Her hair was mussed in the back where she had lain on it, poking out in every direction. Kristoff hid a grin; he thought she looked adorable with her messy hair and sleepy eyes. Her compact but curvy figure was outlined by the line of her brown corduroy dress, and the blue ruffles around her arms, and waist accentuated the hue of her eyes.
“You are welcome to sleep as much as you’d like. Although I am a little worried about y
ou. Are you feeling all right?” Kristoff squatted down on one heel beside her, and regarded her with concern. He liked the feeling of being close to her. He wanted to take her hand, but she rose from the couch and moved quickly away from him, her hands closed across her abdomen.
“I’m fine, really I am. Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s just that you seem to be awfully tired, and you were ill yesterday as well.”
“Most likely it was the travel, I’ll be well in no time. I rode into town this morning with Mrs. Hutchins and took a little walk around town. It’s an interesting place. Very rustic. I even strolled along the riverbank, and watched the big steamers, and the small fishing skiffs coming and going. So much activity, people rushing here and there. Sacramento is becoming quite the metropolis.”
Kristoff wondered if she meant to compliment or criticize his town. Compared to Boston he was sure that Sacramento seemed small and uncouth, but he’d hoped she would see the potential that he saw in the place. He couldn’t tell. Thinking for the umpteenth time that she was a difficult woman to read.
“Oh. I’m glad you like it. I love it here. It has an air of potential – as though anything is possible. And it is, for someone with gumption and a bit of know-how. I arrived with barely a penny and nothing to recommend me, and only a few years later I’m operating a successful store. I might even be running for mayor in the next election. It’s a wonderful place, truly it is.”
Kristoff rose to his feet as he spoke, and walked toward Katie. Her back was to him, and she was studying a newspaper clipping from the Sacramento Times that hung on the wall of the office beside his desk. It was a framed story about the opening of his store from four years earlier. She lifted her hand to trace the outline of his face in the photograph. He looked younger, filled with hope and inspiration. Wearing a dark, ten gallon hat, he stared earnestly down the camera lens – all seriousness and ambition. Kristoff watched her with interest, wishing he could read her thoughts.
