“I’m not asking you to give up work, Zoe. I’m asking you for a chance at a future together. I love you.”
All the air left her lungs in a massive whoosh. There it was. Those three words. Words she’d craved and yet dreaded at the same time. Words that bound and trapped. She started to shake her head, but Cord closed the distance between them and caught her by her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
“I love you, Zoe Warren. I want to make a future with you, if you’ll let me.”
“No,” she whispered. “I can’t. You want all the things I can’t give you. My career is everything to me. You want a family, you want a stay-at-home wife who’ll raise your kids and work alongside you on the ranch. I’m not that woman.”
“Oh, Zoe, don’t be scared. Yeah, I thought I wanted those things. But most of all I just want you. I’d be happy if we never had a family, as long as I knew you loved me and could live here with me. The commute isn’t so far into Houston from here. We could make a future together.”
“I can’t do it, Cord,” she said as her eyes glazed with tears. “You hate my job and everything related to it. Yes, it can be dangerous. Yes, my life can be on the line. But I have to keep doing this. Eventually, you’d ask me to give it up. I know you would. Eventually, you’d want to have kids. I don’t know if that’s ever going to be on my radar. I can’t do that to you. I carry a badge and a gun pretty much every day of my life. It’s who I am.”
“And that’s who I love. Don’t you see? I want to make compromises so we can be together. What we have is incredible and special, and we deserve to be happy together. Please, Zoe, at least give us a chance.”
Zoe continued to shake her head. “No, it’ll never work. Eventually you’d expect me to change, and I won’t do that.”
“Or maybe it’s just that you’re too scared to try,” he challenged her. “Too scared to reach for what you know is good. Too scared to be seen as anything but bulletproof Detective Warren, who feels no emotions but always gets her man. Trouble is, Zoe, your man is standing right here in front of you, but you’re too scared to take a chance on me.”
“Maybe you’re right, but that’s who and what I am,” she said, lifting her chin and staring him straight in the eyes. “Take me back. It’s over, Cord.”
Fifteen
Even as she said the words, it was as if a .45-caliber hollow-nose bullet tore through her heart. Cord just continued to look at her, as if unable to believe she was still saying no to what he offered. How could he not see how impossible it was? Sure, she could commute to work from here, maybe even keep her apartment in town for those times she pulled an all-nighter, but she was certain he still hoped that eventually she’d leave her work, put aside the potential danger, and settle down and play happy family. And even if she did that, she knew eventually she’d come to hate it—maybe even hate him. No, it was easier to stand strong, to ignore the allure of what he offered and to let him walk away.
As they transferred from the aircraft to his rental car, she saw him grab a parcel and stow it behind the driver’s seat. It was only when they got to her apartment building and she opened her door to get out that he reached for it again.
“Hang on a second,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion. “I bought this for you. You should have it. My last gift to you, okay?”
She didn’t trust herself to speak. His voice was so desolate, so devoid of hope or joy, and it scored her heart into a million pieces to know she’d done this to him. She accepted the parcel from him and got out of the car, closing the door behind her and walking as quickly as she could back into the lobby. She punched the elevator button with a shaking finger and rode the car up to her floor, her eyes blurring with unshed tears.
When she let herself into her apartment, she gave in to the hideous pain that had begun back at Cord’s new ranch and grown in intensity each time she’d said no to him. Her legs buckled and she knelt on the floor of her entrance hall and wept as she’d never wept before.
Once the first wave of the emotional storm had passed, Zoe realized she was still holding the parcel Cord had given her. She plucked at the tape and tore the paper away from a case. One she identified immediately. With shaking fingers, she opened the snaps on the case to expose the brand-new SIG Sauer handgun inside. She recognized the model because it was one she’d been planning to upgrade to. With its reduced-reach trigger and one-piece modular grip, it was a far more comfortable weapon for her to use, when she was forced to.
But it wasn’t the gun that made her begin trembling all over again. It was the fact that he’d bought it for her. She knew how much he hated weapons and why. But he’d gone out and bought her the exact model she was planning to buy for herself. More than anything he’d said as he’d tried to persuade her at the new ranch, this spoke volumes as to just how far he was prepared to compromise to have her in his world.
Could she even dare to hope that they stood a chance? That he’d meant exactly what he’d said back there? That they could make a future together? The enormity of what he’d done, of the things he’d said back at the new ranch rained down on her like giant hailstones. She’d been such an idiot. Caught up in her rut of fierce independence, she hadn’t stopped to see that she was ignoring everything her heart was begging for. Everything she’d always told herself she’d make time for when the time was right. But when would that time be if she never allowed the love of a decent and good man into her life? If she threw up walls at every opportunity? If all she ever did was take and give nothing back in return? She had to make this right.
Zoe was up on her feet in seconds, and after shoving the new pistol into her gun safe, she grabbed her car keys and headed down to the parking garage. But where would she go? The airfield? What if, by the time she got there, he’d taken off again? The new ranch? Had he even taken possession of it yet? And what if he was flying back to Royal? She had a responsibility to her job to turn up tomorrow. But wasn’t Cord more important? For the first time in her life, she put the needs of someone else ahead of her job. She’d start with the airfield, then head out to the ranch, if she could find it on a map. Hell, she was a detective. If she couldn’t find an address with the resources available to her, she may as well hand in her badge right now.
And if he wasn’t at either place? What then? She started her car and peeled out of the parking garage, driven by a desperate sense of urgency. She’d tackle that when she’d exhausted her local resources, she decided. But one way or another, she would find him.
* * *
This wasn’t how it was meant to turn out, Cord thought after he’d handed in the rental car and taken a cab to the airfield. He prepped the Robinson for takeoff automatically, trying to ignore the deep sense of loss that had settled inside him. He’d put everything on the line and it had still turned to dust in the wind. All his hopes, all his dreams, shattered. He knew he couldn’t do this again. Couldn’t put his life and his heart on the line a third time. This was it. The thought of telling his parents and Abuelita that he’d failed was a bitter taste in his mouth. He should have known better than to trust in love again.
The sound of tires screeching to a halt behind the security fencing to the airfield caught his attention and made him look up from his preparations. Then there was the sound of a woman’s voice, shouting—no, pleading—with the guy at the security gate. Cord walked to where he could see what all the fuss was about. As he did so, recognition dawned and with it an ember of hope stirred in his chest.
“It’s okay,” he called out. “She’s with me.”
“Sir, you know this is an operational airfield. We can’t just let people in all over the place.”
“I understand. My apologies.”
Cord planted his feet firmly on the ground and watched as Zoe pushed past the guard and through the gate, actually running toward him with a look of desperation on her face that fanned that ember to a warm glow. Even so, he
didn’t plan to make this easy. She’d crushed him. If she truly was back for him, as hard as it would be, he might actually let her fight for it.
“You haven’t left yet,” she said breathlessly as she drew up in front of him.
“Your powers of observation are on point, as always, Detective,” he drawled, not letting an ounce of the emotions that crashed through him surface in the sound of his voice.
“I need to talk to you.”
“I thought we were all talked out.”
She slid her sunglasses off her face, and he was shocked to see the ravaging evidence of tears there. Zoe was one tough nut. He’d never have expected tears from her. Not in a million years. His every instinct urged him forward, to take her into his arms, to console her and make everything right, but instead he locked his knees and stood firm right where he was.
“Cord, I’m sorry,” she started. “I made a stupid mistake.”
He kept his peace, not trusting himself to speak.
“Look,” she continued, “can we go somewhere a little less out in the open?”
“Nope.”
“You want me to do this here?”
“Yup.”
“Fine, then.” She chewed her lower lip for a second. “I want another chance. I want to take you up on your offer. I want to tell you I was a stupid, prideful, frightened fool who thought she knew what she wanted. But when I walked away from you,” she admitted, “I realized how much I really wanted you after all. I’m sorry, Cord. I love you. I guess I was fighting it because it all happened so damn fast. Heck, a few weeks ago I was prepared to arrest you for obstruction and now I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Every cell in Cord’s body shuddered as the impact of her words sank in.
“The rest of your life, you say?” he finally managed to enunciate, hardly daring to believe her words.
“Forever, Cord. I know a love like this doesn’t come along often. My parents have it. My brothers have it. I want it, too, with you.”
“So, um, marriage? And kids?”
“Yes, marriage and kids...eventually.”
He nodded and looked away to the distance so she wouldn’t immediately see the gathering moisture in his eyes as the realization of his dreams began to take shape again.
“Today wasn’t easy for me,” Cord said carefully, still not looking at her. “The last woman I wanted to spend a future with died in the line of duty. The same duty you take on every day you roll up to work.”
“I understand that,” Zoe said, taking a step closer and reaching out with both hands to turn his face toward hers. “I promise you that I will always do my level best to be as safe as I can possibly be. Beyond that, I have to trust my fellow officers to do their jobs to the best of their abilities, too. You can live with that?”
He allowed his gaze to meet and mesh with hers. “I have to, if I want you in my life, and I do want you, Zoe. I want to build a family with you, the way our parents did with us. I want to grow old with you. I know it’s never going to be an easy ride—we’re both too strong willed for that. I could never make a life with a biddable woman, anyway. I love your sass, your determination, your strength. Quite simply, I love you.”
“Then you’ll forgive me for being an idiot this afternoon? For nearly crushing us forever?”
“You may need to make that up to me,” he said with a slow, teasing grin beginning to wreath his mouth. “For quite some time.”
“I’ll do anything you want. Come home with me now. We can make plans.”
“Plans?”
“Well, after we...y’know.”
“So you liked the gun, then, huh?”
“I love the gun, Cord, but even more than that, I love what it symbolizes between you and me. And, Cord, I love you even more.”
He grabbed her then and kissed her with all the pent-up hope and joy and relief and love that had surged through him the second he’d identified her behind the security gate. And he knew that while they might weather some storms, they’d do it together—stronger for all they’d fought for, better for having each other.
Epilogue
The hot breath of the police was a tangible sensation down my neck. They were getting closer and it was making me nervous. My hands kept sweating, I’d lost weight, my hair was falling out. Thank God no one had noticed yet. I was holding it together when it counted—just.
This craziness wasn’t me. It wasn’t my fault. I had no choice. Surely they’d see that, wouldn’t they? The Sterlings and the Currins, they were the ones to blame. They had everything, and they took even more—the land that should have been my father’s, the land that Ryder Currin had coerced out of Harrington York and that he’d made his fortune on.
I thought I’d properly put a spoke in Currin’s relationship with Angela. The golden child. The woman with everything. Her daddy’s right hand. None of them deserved happiness. Not at my expense.
And then there was that bitch cop who kept poking and prodding where she shouldn’t. It made me laugh when I heard she’d gone out of town on some goose chase to Royal when I’d been right under her nose all along. But she was back now, and more determined than ever.
I had to find my baby before they found out it was me. My child was the only thing keeping me going now. But I’d never find her if I was in prison. Please, don’t let me lose my last chance to find my child, to hold her, to love her. To put right the wrongs of eighteen years ago.
* * *
Ryder Currin watched as Willem Inwood entered the boardroom and settled at the table with his lawyer by his side. Slimy bastard. He still couldn’t believe that this feeble excuse for an executive had abused Ryder’s staff and pretty much gotten away with it. And to think it was Ryder who’d given Inwood every opportunity to get ahead at Currin Oil. He’d believed the man to be loyal. The discovery that Inwood was the complete opposite had left a nasty bitter taste in his mouth.
He stared at Inwood, determined not to be the first to speak, taking in the slightly less-than-perfect dark auburn hair, the lanky frame and the dark brown eyes hidden behind his wire-framed glasses.
Ryder had never understood why a man such as Inwood, as insecure as he’d turned out to be, had to turn that insecurity on to his subordinates, instead of learning and growing. Inwood had been a complete failure as an executive on his payroll and it irked Ryder greatly that he hadn’t noticed sooner and thereby had a chance to minimize the damage Inwood had wrought.
Inwood tugged at the tie at his collar and stretched his neck. It gave Ryder no small amount of pleasure to see the other man was uncomfortable in his presence. Inwood cast a glance at his lawyer, who nodded as if encouraging him to speak. Great, Ryder thought, let the show begin.
“I asked you to meet me here today to apologize for my actions. I should never have rekindled the rumors that you had an affair with Tamara Perry, and I apologize for the way I conducted myself while working for you.”
“Is that so?” Ryder drawled. “Strange that you didn’t seem to think that necessary when I fired you. Nor did you seem to think it necessary when you were haranguing staff and forcing them to falsify paperwork a couple of months ago when it became clear you were incapable of performing your duties properly, let alone adequately.”
Hot color flushed the man’s face, and his lips twisted into a feral grimace, showing him for the weasel he truly was.
“Look, I didn’t need to come here today and put up with your insults!”
His lawyer leaned across and whispered urgently into his ear. To Ryder’s surprise, Inwood settled down in his seat.
“I came here to clear the air. I’ve said I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to go this far. Whether you accept that or not is up to you. But I also need to make something absolutely clear. I didn’t kill Vincent Hamm. I never even met the guy. My lawyer will present you with the results
of a polygraph that I voluntarily took to prove my innocence.”
Ryder watched as the lawyer removed a sheaf of papers from the folder in front of him and slid it across the table. He picked up the data and scanned it quickly before reading the summary at the end.
“So this proves you didn’t kill Hamm. But I have a sneaky feeling you know who did, don’t you?” Ryder pressed.
Inwood’s face paled. The red hue that had suffused his skin earlier now faded to a sickly gray. He shook his head.
“No, you’ve got it all wrong. In fact—” he pushed up from his chair and stood facing Ryder “—you can go to hell. I’d never give up my—”
Inwood closed his mouth with a snap, as if realizing that he was on the verge of saying something incriminating.
“You’d never give up your what?” Ryder prompted.
Inwood just shook his head and turned for the door. As it slammed behind him and his lawyer, who’d scurried out after him, Ryder leaned back in his chair and whistled softly through his lips. What was it that Inwood had been on the verge of saying? Was it a who or a what that he would never give up? One thing was for certain—Ryder would soon find out.
* * *
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Tangled With A Texan (Texas Cattleman’s Club: Houston Book 8) Page 16
