“And now?”
They locked eyes, and at that moment, Lily heard Gabriella call her name up the stairs. Lily didn’t want to look away from Emily, but the moment had been broken.
“You’d better get back or Mom’s going to think you’ve fallen into the toilet,” Emily said, giggling and rolling her eyes.
“It was nice talking to you,” Lily said.
“Same here. There are some things I just can’t talk about with my parents.”
Lily hesitated, hoping she wasn’t coming across as too intrusive. “I know you don’t really know me yet, Emily, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.”
“Okay, I’ll do that.” Emily put her headphones on and turned back to her notebook.
Lily placed a gentle hand for a moment on her half-sister’s shoulder, then went back downstairs to where her father was waiting for her.
Chapter 23
OVER THE NEXT MONTH, AS the weather grew colder and leaves fell from the trees, shrouding his house in a cocoon of red and gold, Eric watched his family grow closer to his new-found daughter. Lily had a standing invitation to dinner every week, and on some weekends, the entire family would go into the city to see her. While Eric and Gabriella went out to lunch, Lily would take Emily and Chloe shopping, or they’d hang out in her apartment. Although they referred to it as “babysitting” as a joke—the girls were old enough to look after themselves—in reality it allowed them to get to know each other better. Emily and Chloe were enchanted by their older, glamorous half sister, and Lily spoiled them with gifts.
During the week, Eric would call up Lily to see if she was free for the afternoon. If so, he’d take the train down and they’d have coffee or go see an art exhibit. Sometimes they would walk through a gallery, and Lily would listen raptly as Eric talked about the different angles that composed a photograph or painting. She seemed eager to learn from him, and he appreciated her perspectives on design as well. Other times they would take a walk in Central Park in near silence, letting the sounds of the city wash over them, simply enjoying being in each other’s company. Although Eric felt the pressure of compensating for more than thirty years of absence from his daughter’s life, he was trying to make the best of the time they had now.
One day, when Eric came home from an afternoon in the city with Lily, Gabriella met him at the door. She had taken Emily for her gynecologist’s checkup, and Emily was now resting upstairs in her room. Emily was in her third trimester by now, experiencing more fatigue and discomfort, and talking about the day when she’d finally start feeling and looking more like herself.
“How did the appointment go?” Eric asked Gabriella.
“She is fine. The baby is fine, kicking up a storm. How was your afternoon with Lily?”
“It went well. I’ve really been enjoying my time with her. I know it doesn’t make up for—”
Gabriella placed her hand against his cheek. “I know. The important thing is that you are spending time with her now. You never know what is going to happen in the future, and you can’t change the past, so you might as well do what you can in the present. Right?”
“Right.” Eric smiled at the wisdom of his lovely wife. “It means a lot to me that you’ve accepted her, and that the girls get along with her so well.”
“They do, especially Emily.” Gabriella paused. “You know, I have been thinking about something. When I was growing up, I knew this girl. She was my best friend in primary school. The woman I thought was her mother was actually her aunt. Her real mother had been very young when she had gotten pregnant, and wanted to finish school, so her mother’s sister agreed to raise her. I don’t think it was a formal adoption, but the entire town knew the truth, and no one blinked an eye.”
Eric shook his head slowly. “Gabriella, this isn’t a small town in Italy, forty-some years ago. If you’re suggesting what I think you are . . .”
“Think about it,” Gabriella entreated. “It makes so much sense. The baby would stay in the family, it would be a Langvin. Emily could go on to school and have the future she has always dreamed of. And Lily . . . you told me that her biggest regret in life was not having children. Now she has the chance.”
“Gabriella, I just don’t know.”
“Of course we have to talk to Emily about it first, but can you at least make the suggestion to Lily?”
With a sigh, Eric finally said, “If Emily agrees, then I’ll approach Lily.”
Gabriella gave him a kiss. “Things will work out, Eric. I just know they will.”
Wishing he had her optimism, Eric sat deep in thought in his study. He looked at the framed photograph of his family that was the sole picture on the wall. At first he had considered Gabriella’s idea to be preposterous, something out of a fairy tale, but the more he meditated on it, the more it seemed to tie together the various threads that made up the tapestry of his life. The loss of his sister Mary, the loss and recovery of Lily, Emily’s dilemma . . . could it all be answered by one simple act? As Gabriella had said, Lily’s adoption of Emily’s baby would keep the child in the family. Looking into the eyes of his father and mother, sister and brother in the photograph, Eric knew that he owed it to them to try to keep what was left of their family together.
* * *
Eric asked Lily if she wanted to visit the place where he’d grown up. She responded with enthusiasm, so he agreed to meet her in Greenwich, and from there proceed to Belle Haven. As they drove down the quiet streets lined with magnificent houses, caught between the changing seasons of fall and winter, Eric occasionally glanced at Lily’s face, looking for her reaction. She seemed to calmly take in all the grandeur; of course, she must be used to East Coast luxury from her ex-husband’s family. He himself had rarely come back to Belle Haven after his father’s death, even to show his wife and daughters. Although he’d grown up here, this place didn’t represent who he was then or who he’d become.
Finally, they arrived at the guardhouse that was the last barrier before Viking Manor, but it was empty; it hadn’t been manned for years. The black iron gates were uncharacteristically wide open. The current owner, Eric knew, was a foreign investor who rarely set foot in this country, so the mansion was unoccupied and essentially abandoned. Indeed, there was a spooky air about it, surrounded by the almost bare branches of trees, as he and Lily approached on foot. They walked across the grounds, where his mother had once cultivated a flower garden before Mary’s death, now covered in brambles and underbrush. Then their path ended in a cliff that descended sharply into the sea, and they could go no farther.
“That was my mother’s favorite room,” Eric told Lily, pointing up at one of the dark windows. “She spent more time there than with my father and myself.” For a moment he imagined he could see a glimmer of light, a reflection from the glass figurines within, but he knew that was impossible. When the house was sold, so was everything inside it, including Lillian Langvin’s prized collection of Lalique crystal.
“You told me she never recovered after your sister passed away,” Lily said. “What ended up happening to her?”
“She grieved herself to death.” Eric’s face was hard. “Pills and alcohol had a hand in it, but she just stopped caring. Her body was there, but her mind was caught back in time when my sister was still alive and she didn’t feel such guilt. She forsake the people in her present to live in the past. That’s what I swore I would never do.” He took Lily’s hand in his. “That’s why I want you to be part of my family. And that’s why I have something important to ask you.”
“What is it?” Lily asked, her face reflecting his seriousness.
“You’ve told me about how much you wanted children, to become a mother. Emily told me why you’d never considered adoption, because you wanted to be biologically related to your child. Well, Gabriella, Emily, and I have talked about it, and we’re all in agreement.” Eric paused, giving the moment the weight it required. “We were wondering if you would be interested in adopting Emily’s baby.�
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When Lily remained silent, he continued, “All of us, especially Emily, would want to know the child and play a part in its life. But you would be the legal parent. I know this is more involvement in our family than you expected, but I hope you’ll think about it.”
Covering his hand with her own, Lily turned to him, her eyes bright with tears. “I don’t have to think about it. The answer is yes.”
She leaned on his shoulder, and he laid his head against her soft blond hair, as together they looked out onto the churning waves of the gray ocean.
Chapter 24
On a sweltering morning in mid-August, Lily Rose was in her New York City apartment, packing for a trip. Although she wouldn’t be away for long, she carefully considered the clothes she had laid out on her bed, trying to decide what would make a good first impression.
She turned her head and asked, “What do you think, Baby Rose?”
Nearby in her playpen, six-month-old Ruby Rose Langvin looked up at the sound of her mother’s voice and gave her a beaming, toothless smile. She was a beautiful baby, with her birth mother’s dark curly hair and her birth father’s brown, long-lashed eyes. But she was unmistakably a Langvin, with the same delicate facial features, and determined expression that was most often seen whenever a toy was just out of reach. Although Ruby had been named for Lily’s grandmother—Carrie Ellen’s mother—Lily had felt strongly that her last name should be Langvin, as her own might have been.
Since the day Ruby was born, Lily had been in heaven. At the hospital, she’d held Ruby’s tiny, warm body in her arms and felt a connection unlike any other. It was an all-consuming, boundless love she had never experienced before—a love that grew every day she was with her daughter, feeding her, bathing her, rocking her to sleep. At night she would look at Ruby in her crib, at the soft flutter of her eyelashes against her cheeks and the gentle rise and fall of her stomach, and she couldn’t believe the miracle that had entered her life.
Of course it wasn’t all sunny days, and Ruby could get fussy like any other newborn who was learning about the world around her. But just being close to Lily would be enough to soothe her, and Lily made sure that they were never parted for long. While Ruby had a nanny, she would often visit Lily’s office, and she would watch everything Lily did with alert, darting, curious eyes. Lily would quite seriously explain business decisions to her, laughing afterward, “You’re going to be a fashion expert when you grow up, just like Mommy,” and Ruby would coo and clap her hands.
Today, however, Lily was going on a trip without Ruby. She was planning to spend a week in Palm Beach, opening up the house that she had received from the Reynolds in her divorce settlement. Richard and Lisa Reynolds had given it to them as their tenth wedding anniversary present, but of course they had gotten divorced before that would ever happen. Lily had fallen in love with the old 1926 Mediterranean, framed by two giant banyan trees and royal palms. The stone house, with its rich mahogany floors and trim and its floor-to-ceiling Palladian windows, brought a jungle of foxtail palms, bougainvillea trees, and sunlight inside every room with the shining deep blue sea in the background. She could imagine she and Ruby and all the Langvins bringing the house back to life this winter. So, redecoration Lily Rose style was ready to begin! The fashion business basically shut down in New York in August, so it was the ideal time to head to the island.
As with all new parents, Lily was nervous about the first time she was going to spend so much time away from her baby. But, she reminded herself, it wasn’t like she was leaving Ruby with a stranger. Eric and Gabriella were coming down from Bedford to pick up Ruby so that she could spend the week with them. They’d offered to take Lily’s dog Sable and her cat Hollywood as well, and Lily gladly accepted, as Ruby loved these animals; she had never gone a day in her life without them. Since Emily had already started at Yale, and Chloe was still at summer camp, this would be an opportunity for Ruby to spend some quality time with her grandparents.
For the past six months the Langvins had been very involved in Ruby’s life, either spending weekends with her in the city or having her and Lily come out to see them. Lily had wondered whether Emily would find it difficult to be around the baby, but she seemed to treat Ruby more like a little sister or niece. Emily had gotten in touch with Santiago, Ruby’s birth father, in Argentina and sent him videos of her. They’d even talked about him possibly visiting over winter break so that he could meet her. All of this, Lily welcomed with enthusiasm and relief, reasoning that the more people Ruby had around her who loved her, the better off she would be.
Just as Lily finished packing her suitcase, the doorbell rang; Eric and Gabriella had arrived.
“Is she ready?” Eric asked, as Gabriella scooped her granddaughter into her arms and gave her a kiss.
“Everything is right here.” Lily pointed to a suitcase at least twice the size of her own. “There’s extra formula, diapers, clothes if it gets hot, clothes if it gets cold, her favorite stuffed animals, her favorite books, the mobile she likes to look at before she goes to sleep…”
“Don’t worry,” Eric said. “Gabriella and I have done this before. It’s only for a week, and you deserve some time to yourself. I’ve never seen anyone who works as hard as you, and as a single mother, too. You should enjoy yourself. Especially if you hit it off with Christian.” He raised his eyebrows, and Lily had to laugh.
When he had found out that she was going to Palm Beach, Eric had suggested that Lily meet up with a sailing buddy of his who had retired early and now lived in Palm Beach most of the year. His name was Christian Walsh, and he was older than her and divorced, Eric said, somewhat apologetically. Lily reminded him that she was divorced, too, and she didn’t mind older men. She got in touch with Christian and he sounded pleasant enough, so they arranged to have dinner the first night she was in Palm Beach. While she didn’t have any expectations—and this wasn’t quite a date, she kept reminding herself—she couldn’t help feeling a mixture of nervousness and anticipation at the thought of meeting him.
“I’m looking forward to it,” she said to Eric now. “From what you’ve told me, he sounds very nice.”
“He’s really someone special. But even if nothing comes of it, you can still enjoy the beach and the water.”
Then the moment she had dreaded all week had come. Taking Ruby in her arms, she whispered into her shell-like ear, “It’s time for you to go now. Have fun with Grandpa and Grandma, and Mommy will see you when you get back.” She pressed her lips against the silky top of Ruby’s head and let Gabriella take her again.
After seeing everyone off, Lily went back inside her apartment, feeling as if her heart had been wrenched away from her. Was this what it was going to be like every time Ruby left her, for however long or short the duration? She thought about Ruby starting school, having her first sleepover, going off to college, as Gabriella must have experienced with Emily just last week. And what if, for whatever reason, she and Ruby were separated permanently? That would be devastating. And while that may have seemed an odd thought, Lily had experienced so many permanent separations herself, in one guise or another. For some reason, Lily thought of how her biological mother must have had to give her up right after she’d been born, likely to never see her again. She was sure Jeff hadn’t had a problem with it.
Lily hadn’t thought about Jeff in months, but the thought of her left a bad taste in her mouth as she called a car and headed off to the airport. During the three-hour flight, though, she settled down and by the time the plane touched down, she was ready to take Eric’s advice and enjoy herself.
* * *
When Lily arrived in Palm Beach, she found it as lush and tropical as when she’d been there last with the Reynolds. Except they’d usually come in the winter, and in the middle of August, the island seemed almost deserted, save for a few locals and the odd tourist here and there. The weather was sunny and hot, with a cool breeze blowing off the ocean.
In her rental car, she drove down
streets where only glimpses of grand houses could be seen behind manicured hedges. As she pulled into the circular driveway of Villa Banyan she realized just how beautiful it really was and now she ready to make it a second home for her, Ruby and her new family, but for now, she just wanted to relax. Since it was late afternoon, she went for a walk on the beach, she sat for a long time on the sand, just letting the sound of the waves wash over her as the wind battered back her hair.
By the time evening came, she was starting to look forward to some company. She and Christian had arranged to meet for dinner at The Waves, which happened to be where she and Peyton had gotten married. Lily arrived early and sat at a table on the terrace that overlooked the waterfront, taking in the sunset. Although she hadn’t planned it, the last rays of sunlight turned her hair into pure gold and highlighted her figure, clad in a simple silk white sheath. To anyone seeing her for the first time, she looked like the epitome of elegance, and more importantly, a woman comfortable in her own skin.
As Lily sipped at her drink, she noticed what seemed to be a bridal party taking up a few tables at the other end of the patio. They were loud and boisterous, probably due to the freely flowing alcohol. However, she also noticed what she presumed to be the bride and groom—a couple that appeared to be in their mid-to-late twenties, sitting in the midst of their friends, lost in each other’s eyes, as if they were in an oasis of their own making. She and Peyton had once been like that.
Lily thought about that day at The Waves, surrounded by pink and white flowers, where it seemed like she and Peyton were each the most important person in the other’s world. Ten years later, it had all fallen apart, disastrously so, and she had been left with nothing. Well, not nothing. She had the house, and she’d do everything she could to make it her own—hers and Ruby’s. Already she had fantasies of taking Ruby here for many years to come, watching her play on the beach, learning to swim in the ocean. They’d create their own memories to take the place of the past, turning pain into beauty.
Lily Rose Page 24
