“You two are very close.” He smiled tenderly. “I could see that when I first met you.”
“Yes, we are, but growing up...well, she was just a mother. It’s only been these last few years that I have thought of her as a friend.”
He chuckled. “If you must know, I wasn’t really friends with my older brother. He was four years older than me, and we were never close. My sisters are much younger than me—Ellie is six years younger, and Laura is seven. Naturally, I never really grew close to them because of the age difference.”
“So perhaps you and I are more alike than you first thought.”
“Could be.” He nodded.
She tilted her head. “Does knowing this make you think of me differently?”
“How so?”
“Well, it was quite obvious that you didn’t like me when we first met. I hope that in these past few days, I have changed your opinion of me, if even just a little.”
His chest shook with silent laughter. “I’ll admit, I am thinking of you differently.” He winked. “Just a little.”
“Oh!” She reached out and playfully slapped his shoulder, which knocked him on his back.
He laughed out loud as he rolled toward her. “My, you are quite a feisty woman. Your strength surprises me. It has since the first day, in fact.”
“Why do you say that?” She scooted an inch closer. “Are you not used to women who have strength?”
“I’m not. Most women of your station that I know are frail and expect the man or servants to do everything for them. Most women I have met are the kind who bat their eyelashes and pout their lips, beckoning men to sample their kisses only to shove them away and crush their hearts.”
It wasn’t only his words that made her pause, but the look on his face after he said them. He clamped his mouth shut as his eyes widened. She now wondered if he had told her that by mistake. Perhaps he didn’t want her to know that a woman in his past had hurt him badly.
“Then you have not met women like me.” Gently, she laid her hand on his arm.
The hardness in his expression disappeared. Her hopes lifted. Would he let her tell him the truth, and would he believe her? If so, would he give her a chance? She prayed he could eventually trust her with his heart.
His gaze dropped to her mouth and her heartbeat picked up rhythm. He leaned up on his elbow and hovered closer to her. Once again, her mouth grew dry as anticipation soared through her. As much as she wanted his kiss, she also wanted...no, needed to tell him who she really was. She couldn’t have him thinking she was like those other women.
“Felix, I—”
“Katrina, my dear.” His voice was soft. “I think we should get some rest. It’s getting late and morning will be here before we know it.”
Her hopes dropped. So tonight wasn’t the night for her confessions. Tomorrow. She’d tell him tomorrow. By then she would have gained more courage. “Yes, you are correct. I’m getting sleepy.”
“Good. Now turn down the lantern, but don’t turn it off.”
“All right. Good night, Felix.”
As she reached over and turned down the light, he rolled away from her. She prayed she hadn’t said anything to upset him. Now she wouldn’t know until the morning.
Tonight, would definitely be a very long night.
FELIX’S MIND SLOWLY became aware of his surroundings as he awoke. Groggily, he peeked through slit eyelids. Morning’s light hadn’t fully graced the land with brightness, only enough to bring him alert. Immediately, comfort filled his heart, and a smile tugged on his face. Sighing, he closed his eyes. Softness rested against his chest as he lay on his side. He inhaled the sweet fragrance of flowers that was beneath his nose.
As he became more alert, he realized he cuddled against a feminine body. His arms were wrapped around her as her head lay in the crook of his shoulder.
Katrina!
In seconds, he became fully awake, but he didn’t dare move. It was obvious she was still slumbering since she hadn’t said anything to put a stop to this pleasure. Hesitantly, he lifted his head to look upon her. Those pretty green eyes were closed and her thick, dark lashes fanned on her cheeks so peacefully, she looked like an angel. Her mouth parted ever so sweetly as breaths escaped her mouth that was curled up slightly at the ends. Whatever she was dreaming must be pleasant, because she looked as satisfied as he felt right now.
Inwardly, he groaned and closed his eyes. If truth be told, he enjoyed cuddling with her. It was refreshing to awaken and gaze upon such beauty. If only she wasn’t a pampered rich woman. If only he could trust her with his heart. But he’d learned these many years that there was no such woman for him. All women lie. All women were deceptive in one way or another.
Yet why was she so different? He’d noticed it several times these past few days. She was certainly a mystery to him.
He blinked open his eyes again and lifted his head. Waking her right now wasn’t a good thing. He must figure out a way to pull himself away from her without her awakening. But her arms were lying over his and her hands cupped his fingers. This would not be easy!
Perhaps the key would be to allow her to wake up first and discover they’d been cuddling. He, of course, would pretend to be asleep and therefore not be the one held responsible.
The longer he waited for her to come awake, the longer he stared at her. So lovely. So peaceful...and so very tempting.
What would it hurt if he brushed his lips across her ear? If anything, it would help her come alert so his plan could begin.
Cautiously, he leaned to her ear. Her hair was softer than he figured it should be, and he closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against the texture. He found it strange that she smelled so much like wild flowers, when he and the rest of his men probably reeked of sweat and dirt. Nevertheless, it was her sweet fragrance that had him moving his mouth closer to her earlobe.
Taking gentle care, he brushed his lips against her neck as he moved up to her ear. A soft sigh whispered from her mouth as she arched her neck. He stilled, yet his heart beat madly. This wasn’t going the way he thought it should. She wasn’t supposed to enjoy it. She was supposed to awaken, realize their scandalous embrace, and quickly move away.
But she did the exact opposite and cuddled against him, much closer than before. This was not good! Knowing it wasn’t working, he really should stop, but something deep inside urged him to continue, blast it all. He was a weak man in this kind of situation.
He trailed kisses up her neck to her ear. She shivered and wiggled closer. Even her arms tightened over his.
His breathing grew irregular as excitement built. He feathered kisses along her ear and down her neck until her breaths were coming as fast as his. Sighing, she turned her face toward him, but her eyes remained closed. Her mouth parted, blindly seeking his.
Felix’s mind screamed for him to stop this insanity right now. Going any further could be disastrous.
Taking slower breaths, he tried to regain control. In the midst of the silence, she whispered, “Felix.”
He groaned. Surrendering his will, he pressed his mouth against hers and kissed her soundly. Her lips moved so sweetly with his as if she knew exactly what she was doing. Explosions erupted inside his head, and all thought of stopping their passionate moment was lost.
He gathered her closer, turning her body more toward his. Her arms slid up his chest and hooked around his neck as she pulled him to her. Soft and gentle fingers stroked through his hair, sending spirals of warmth throughout his body. She caressed the side of his face, and he thought he’d died and gone to Heaven. Her very touch made him want to shout with happiness.
Never had a woman created such havoc inside his mind and his heart. Not even Eva. Katrina was so different. At times he thought of her as spoiled because of the way she acted, yet other times she was a down-to-earth woman. He laughed in her presence, and he couldn’t remember being with a woman who made him do that.
“Oh, Katrina,” he muttered. He rolled
her on her back as he loomed over her. He swept his tongue inside her mouth, and she copied his strokes. Her hands moved over his back in soft caresses, sending tingles through him that spread like wildfire. All he wanted was to make her happy—to make him happy. To be with her all the time. To laugh, to love, to kiss...to never stop kissing!
Breaking the kiss, he trailed his lips down her neck, making her arch once more. She muttered his name in reverence, but then continued to whisper disjointed words.
“Felix, I must tell you.” She took a deep breath. “The truth.” A moan escaped her throat. “About me.”
It was like cold water being dumped over his head. He stiffened. Rising up on his elbows, he looked down at her. Eyes still closed, she smiled. His heart sank the longer he watched her. She appeared to be enthralled in passion, yet her words were most disturbing.
“What truth?” he asked in a low voice.
“Hmm...” she sighed. “Felix. I’m not...real.”
Pain like shards of glass cut through his heart. He knew she wasn’t asleep, but she wasn’t fully awake, either. Yet it didn’t matter. There had been something on her mind that she’d wanted to tell him. In the pit of his stomach, he knew it wasn’t good.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not...who you think...I am.”
“You lied to me?” he asked, continuing to keep his voice low.
“Yes.”
Tightness consumed his chest, making it hard to breathe. Why had he let his guard down? Why had he convinced himself that Katrina was different from the other women? Once again, it was proven to him that women lie to get what they want. Did they even know how to tell the truth? Did they know what kind of agony men went through when they lose their hearts?
Without a second thought, he moved away from her and left the tent. Today’s journey would go quicker than normal because he now couldn’t wait to deliver her to her father—and make her stay there!
KATRINA STIRRED AWAKE, feeling very disoriented. What a strange dream!
Blinking, she yawned and opened her eyes. Morning had come too early. She didn’t want to wake up.
She smiled and curled on her side, looking toward Felix’s bedroll.
Gone.
She sat up and stretched, wondering why she hadn’t heard him leave. It must have been that wonderful dream she’d had. Just remembering made her face heat up. In her dream, he’d taken her in his arms and kissed her so passionately. In her dream she told him about her true identity, and he accepted her. Then the dream ended rather abruptly, and coldness filled her chest. That’s when she’d come awake.
Oh, she prayed things would go that smoothly when she told him for real. She hoped he would not be put off because of her circumstances in life.
Moving to her pack, she dug through it to find fresh, clean clothes to wear. As she pulled off her shirt, she detected a man’s scent. She brought the material up to her nose and sniffed. Why did it smell like Felix?
Warm shivers cascaded over her, reminding her of the dream again. She peeked over her shoulder at his bedroll. For some odd reason, it wasn’t that wrinkled. Not like hers...
Panic surged through her and she moved to her bedroll, sniffing the blanket. Her breath caught in her throat. Felix! Had he cuddled with her during the night? Her dream couldn’t have possibly happened. Or had it been a dream at all?
She placed a hand to her fiercely beating heart. What were the odds that she and Felix really did kiss that passionately? Gingerly, she touched her mouth. The roughness from his unshaven face still tingled on her lips. Warmth spread down her neck and rested in her bosom. He had kissed her! So, did that mean she’d also told him the truth?
Hastily, she yanked off her clothes and pulled the clean ones on. She didn’t dare ask him if he had been holding and kissing her during the night, because that would just make her appear foolish—especially if they hadn’t been doing what her dream had suggested. Hopefully, she’d be able to see it in his gaze, and hear it in his tone of voice to know if they really had been intimate during the night.
Once dressed, she crawled to the opening of her tent and exited. Raised voices greeted her, but not in a good way. The men in the camp appeared irritated and confused. As she stood, Felix’s voice boomed louder than the others as he issued commands.
She looked his way and noticed he had changed into clean clothes, too. He paced the length of their camp in long strides, talking to Carlos as he motioned with his hands furiously. Obviously, something was wrong, and she didn’t dare ask for fear of being yelled at.
Without being told, she began taking down her tent, preparing to leave. Some of the others were doing that as well. Her stomach rumbled with hunger and she glanced at the low burning fire in the middle of camp to see what was cooking.
The embers in the pit were covered with dirt, and unfortunately no food was nearby.
Grumbling, she realized that whatever had upset Felix this morning had thrown off everyone’s routine. Perhaps the best course of action should be to make breakfast herself.
Cautiously, she moved to the fire-pit to see what supplies were there. Just as she reached it, Felix’s strong voice from behind made her jump.
“Miss Landon, what are you doing?”
She spun around and faced him. Anger darkened his eyes, but there was a different emotion laced in his gaze. Why did he look sad? “I—I um, I’m going to start making breakfast.”
He arched a critical eyebrow at her. “You are going to cook breakfast? Now that is something I will have to see to believe.”
His hurtful words wrenched her heart. Taking a deep breath, she tried to tamper the pain coursing through her. Apparently, he was not a morning person. “Well, everyone looked preoccupied, so I decided to fix the meal.”
“We have no time for that, Miss Landon,” he snapped. “We shall eat fruit and nuts as we go. Make sure you are packed and ready within thirty minutes.”
Why had he gone back to calling her Miss Landon? Usually, he only called her that when they were with the other men...and right now there was no one else around. Her heart twisted. Had she done something to make him upset at her?
“I am ready, Felix.” She said his name, just to irritate him as she met his glare with one of her own.
“Splendid. Then you can eat while we wait for everyone else.”
He turned sharply and took a step to flee, but she caught his arm, stopping him. He jerked his head around and pierced her with his stare.
“What is it now, Miss Landon?”
She swallowed the hurtful feeling his tone of voice and words were inflicting on her. “What is wrong?” she asked softly.
Grumbling, he combed his fingers through his hair. “Miss Landon, I’m completely out of sorts this morning. I woke up irritable, and it worsened when I discovered one of my men went missing.”
She gasped. “Missing? How could someone be missing?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t have time to sit around and wait for Paulo. He was here last night. The other men saw him get in his tent. This morning he’s gone and nobody has seen anything. His gear and his tent are also missing.” He folded his arms and huffed. “Now, is there any more information you require at this time, Miss Landon? I’m in a hurry to leave this place and continue our trek, so if you will excuse me—”
“Leave?” Her voice lifted. “You are going to leave Paulo? What if something bad happened? What if—”
“Miss Landon,” he snapped. “I’d appreciate it if you will let me be in charge. I’m leaving Paulo because he is the one who decided not to stay with us. I cannot waste any more time looking for someone who obviously doesn’t want to be found.”
He stormed past her toward Carlos. Felix asked his friend a question, and Carlos gave his answer with a negative shake of his head and frown. Whatever was happening, Katrina knew it wasn’t good. Deep in her heart she felt that Paulo wouldn’t just up and leave. Yet knowing the answer to his whereabouts frightened her more than she w
as prepared for.
Within twenty minutes, the group had packed everything and was on their way. She munched on a papaya and nuts as she trudged behind Felix. For some reason, he seemed more eager to get to his destination today. It was almost as if he was walking fast on purpose—to annoy her.
She wished she knew why he acted this way. Had she said something to him last night to make him upset? Or had she really kissed him so passionately this morning and didn’t remember? Could he be upset over that?
An ache throbbed through her skull, making it harder to walk fast. She wished she knew for sure if she’d been dreaming or not. But, if she had curled up to him during the night and started kissing him, he would definitely be upset. It seemed that she couldn’t do anything to please him lately. Ever since their first kiss at the inn where they’d stayed in Manaus, he’d acted as though he didn’t want her touch.
With a heavy sigh, she realized that things between them were not working out for a reason. They were not meant to fall in love. A tear formed in her eye, and she quickly wiped it away. Perhaps it was good she figured this out now instead of later when she was in danger of really falling in love with him.
Then again, her heart told her she was already there.
TWELVE
The bad spirit was at it again. Groaning, Felix threaded his fingers through his hair as he marched ahead of the group. As much as he wanted to prove that the bad spirit would not win, it definitely appeared that it would. No matter what, he couldn’t allow that to happen.
Everything had gone wrong, it seemed, and it had started when he first met Miss Katrina Landon. Perhaps she was really the bad spirit his Indian friends had spoken about. After all, she had a way of making his emotions jump from one extreme to the next in just a matter of minutes. She was a viper, plain and simple. She’d slithered into his heart and wrapped her coils around it, squeezing the life right out of him.
Katrina's Sight Page 14
