by Karina Halle
“I have good news.”
I stare at him. Still, I can’t breathe.
“What?” Hank whispers.
“Good news?” Dick says loudly. “If you have good news then why on God’s green earth do you look so grim?”
The doctor looks at Dick and I didn’t think it was possible for his frown to get any deeper but it does. “Come again?”
Obviously this is just his face. You’d think they’d get a doctor with a better one.
“What’s the good news?” Fox asks impatiently.
“They’re both on the mend,” he says and everyone exhales one collected breath. “It was touch and go with Vernalee for a while. Her surgery and reduced lung capacity made the smoke inhalation that much worse. But they were able to revive her on the way over here.”
“And Shane?” I ask. “How is he?”
“He’s going to be okay. He’s got a lot of second degree and some third degree burns, mainly on his shoulders and legs. He’s going to be in a lot of pain for some time but he’ll have medicine to manage it.”
“Can we see them?” Hank asks.
“You can see Shane in a few hours. Vernalee needs a little more time but don’t worry, you’ll see her soon enough.”
So we go back to waiting again, though this time the atmosphere in the room has completely changed. Finally, after hours and hours, another nurse comes out, the one they call nosy Beth, and I’m shown toward his room.
I look back over my shoulder at Hank and everyone else. “Hank, Fox, aren’t you coming?”
“Take your time,” Fox says. “We’ll be right behind you.”
I give them a grateful look, knowing how many things are bubbling up inside my heart, wanting to come out. There was so much I wanted to tell Shane even before he went inside that burning house and this just made me realize the longer I keep it in, the more damage it will do. He has to know how I feel, he has to know everything.
But when the nurse opens the door to his room and I see him lying there in the hospital bed, I don’t even think I have any words at all.
Shane. My beautiful Shane.
He’s attached to an IV, his arms and legs sticking out of his hospital gown, rigid. His shoulder is red and blackened in some spots, his legs pink and white. The burns look painful and there’s a strange, unsettling smell in the air.
But he’s looking at me, head back, unable to lift it. And he smiles.
God, that smile. It’s everything good and pure and true in this world.
That smile is love.
“Shane,” I whisper, inching closer to him.
He licks his lips. “I don’t bite.” His voice is raspy, like his throat and lungs are singed.
“How are you feeling?” I ask him even though I’m sure it’s a stupid question.
“I feel fine now that you’re here.” He raises his hand and I slip mine inside. His arms aren’t too badly burned but even so, I don’t want him moving much.
“What have the doctors told you?” I ask him.
“That I’ll live,” he says, so soft that I have to lean in to hear him. His smile is crooked as he stares at me. “They said I’m lucky. Real lucky. Only my shoulder is pretty bad. Might have to get a skin graft on it. Might not. My legs will heal up. I’ll have scars but all the best cowboys have scars.”
I shake my head, biting down my grin. “Even after all this, you’re still optimistic.”
“Because you’re here.” He pauses. “I heard your mother is going to be fine.”
“Only because of you.”
“You tried to do the same. I couldn’t let that happen. I would have lost you both.”
I exhale steadily. “I wasn’t thinking, obviously.”
“You were beyond brave, Rachel.”
“She would have done the same for me. I know that now. I didn’t know that before, but I know that now.”
I give his hand a gentle squeeze, aware of the nurse lingering out in the hallway, talking to the rest of the group. “Listen,” I tell him. “I won’t keep you too long—”
“You don’t mean that,” he says, wheezing. “Please, keep me long. Keep me forever.”
God, I’m melting. How is he still able to bring me to my knees, time and time again?
“Shane,” I tell him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here in North Ridge. With you.”
“These pain meds are sure fucking good,” he says. “I could have sworn you said you were staying in North Ridge.”
“You might be high but I mean every word I say. I’m not leaving you.”
He frowns, looking at me with apprehension. “Don’t stay out of pity…”
“It’s not pity, Shane. It’s love. I love you. I never stopped. I only stopped believing that I deserved love, your love. I want to spend my days with you, I want to live my life here. I want to start over, fresh, from scratch, and get things right. I know now what really matters and that fear…well, fuck fear. I’ll use it, I won’t cower from it.”
He swallows hard, his gorgeous eyes growing misty. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Say nothing. You’ve said so much and I’ve been nothing but lucky to hear it. It’s my turn now to give. I love you Shane Nelson and I love you wild. You’re my heart and my home and my whole damn life. I promise.”
I bend over and kiss his forehead, his nose, his lips. Softly, sweetly, but trying to tell him all that he is to me, all that he will be.
“I love you,” he whispers back.
“Are you two done having your heart-to-heart?” Dick’s voice booms from behind us. “You don’t want to get him too excited, Rachel, though I guess this is the hospital and if he has a heart attack he’s in pretty good hands.”
Shane and I smirk at each other before I turn around.
Dick is at the door with Hank and everyone else.
“He’s all yours,” I tell them, stepping back and making a flourishing gesture.
“And it sounds like you’re all ours too,” Hank says, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “I’m glad you decided to stay.”
I grin at him, my heart feeling so impossibly full at all of this, all of them.
My family.
Turns out you can go home again.
23
Shane
Two weeks.
It’s been two whole weeks since Rachel left me and went back to Toronto.
If it were any longer, I’m pretty sure my heart would call it quits on me. I know two weeks is nothing compared to six years but I swore to God she’d never be out of my sight again.
Thankfully, she is coming back.
Today.
I’m currently parking my Tacoma at Kelowna’s airport, counting down the minutes until her plane lands.
When Rachel told me she wanted to move back to North Ridge and live her life with me at the ranch, I thought I couldn’t be that lucky. And even though that’s all I ever wanted, I didn’t want to make her seem like she had to. I didn’t want her to feel pressured.
But she was adamant that it was what she wanted.
So I told her she was free to live with me in the guest house and then we’d figure out what to do next. I stood back and watched, wondering if she was really going to do this.
And she did. She stayed in North Ridge until I got better, until her mother got better, then she left.
In those two weeks, she’s put her condo up for sale. She’s quit her job at the ad agency. She’s done all she can so she can have closure with that city and create another fresh start here.
The truth is, if she loved that city and wanted to stay, I would have followed her. I should have done that years ago, I should have tracked her down, I should have gone wherever she went. And if that was the way it had to be now, I wouldn’t hesitate. I would leave North Ridge and the ranch behind. I would do what needed to be done in order to be with her.
It wasn’t in the cards.
This hand didn’t play out like I expected.
And she�
��s my wild card.
When it’s time to get her, I go inside the airport with a bouquet full of roses, gathered along with the other people waiting at Arrivals.
I watch the passengers exit. People are hugged, cheeks are kissed, tears are shed.
And still no Rachel.
My heart falls.
The last I heard from her was when she called me, the day before yesterday. Cell reception is spotty at the ranch, as usual. I thought maybe her texts weren’t coming through but now that I’m in Kelowna with full bars, I don’t see anything from her.
Maybe she changed her mind.
Maybe she decided it was too hard.
Maybe she decided to stay.
Shit.
Maybe it was too much, too soon, and it scared her. I know she’s been here for me but maybe it was only because I was recovering from the burns, maybe she just couldn’t tell me the truth.
Rachel…
And then, like a mirage floating in the distance, I see her.
She’s dragging a carry-on suitcase behind her, looking wide-eyed and hopeful as she searches the crowd.
Then she sees me.
Runs to me.
I grab her in front of everyone.
I don’t care.
I kiss her.
Hard.
It’s completely different from how we last kissed before she left. That was soft and tentative.
This one is hunger.
I am starved for her.
I’ve been starved for her for the past two weeks. I’ve done nothing but dream about her, about all the things I want to do. All the promises we’ve made, the promises we’ll keep.
Now she’s here, in my arms, and I’m slowly unraveling.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” I tell her breathlessly.
She grabs my face, peering deep into my eyes. “I’m here.”
I pull back and hand her the flowers which are now a little crushed. “Sorry. These are for you.”
“They’re gorgeous, Shane. You shouldn’t have.” Her cheeks flush and she looks so damn adorable I want to pick her up all over again.
And I do. I pick her up, twirl her around, reveling in the fact that she’s here and she’s mine.
“I booked us a hotel,” I tell her later as we get her two massive bags from baggage claim and bring them to the truck. “We aren’t driving back to North Ridge tonight.”
The hotel is a massive, fancy one along the shores of Lake Okanagan. Since her flight landed in the afternoon, we have time to relax on the beach if we want to. It may be October now but the temperature is still holding strong here and the numerous vineyards in the area are in full swing, though give it a few more days and things will start to get cold.
But we aren’t here to explore or make a vacation out of it.
The only place I want Rachel right now is lying in that plush hotel bed.
We get up to the room and I take her flowers, plucking off the petals and scattering them all over the floor and the bed. Well, they were crushed anyway.
Then I’m on her.
I unleash myself on her neck, licking and sucking until she’s starting to weaken at the knees, soft moans falling from her mouth. Honey on my tongue. Music to my ears.
I get undressed to my briefs in a flash, she’s ripping her shirt over her head and I drop to my knees to help her out of her skirt and underwear. I pull the skirt down first and peer up at her as my hands slowly work their way back up her thighs.
She grabs a hold of my hair instead for balance.
My fingers find her underwear, the thin material damp with her desire.
“God, you’re so wet for me,” I murmur, staring up at her. “Can I make you wetter?” I move her panties to the side and slip my finger along her, the sensation making me delirious with lust. She lets out a lengthy moan, her hands tighter in my hair. “I want my cock to slide into you, just like this.” I add an extra finger and move them in together. “Just like this,” I whisper as my fingers go along. “You want it deeper?”
She groans and I look up to see her arch back, her breasts pointed forward, her sweet, pink nipples tight and hard.
My beautiful raven girl.
“Do you want my cock?” I ask softly, knowing she loves it when I’m bold. “My tongue? How would you like me to fuck you?”
“Any way,” she says through another moan as I drive my fingers even deeper. “Shane…”
She trails off into a moan as I press my face in, my tongue snaking out and licking up to her clit. “You taste so good,” I murmur into her and she shudders from the vibrations. “Like you belong on my mouth, your taste made for my tongue.” I pause and look up at her. “You were made for me, you know that?”
I suck her clit into my mouth, wet, warm, and she gives a sharp cry, calling out my name in such a way that it will be my undoing if she keeps this up.
I pull away and stand up. Her eyes are half-closed, dazed, mouth open.
Gorgeous.
Even though it’s just a few steps to the bed I pick her up and carry her over, laying her down on her stomach on top of the strewn petals.
She pulls herself forward so that she’s in the middle of the bed and I climb on top of her, my thighs on either side of hers, tanned skin against pale, straddling her just below her ass. The burns that run down my thighs are horrible to look at but when they’re contrasted with her beauty, they only remind me how lucky I really am.
I grab my cock at the base and steadily push it in between her legs, into her as deep as I can go. She feels like a tight velvet fist. So damn soft. So real.
With a shuddering breath, I press my hand down on her shoulder, slowly pulling myself out, then back in, trying to find the rhythm. My thighs are doing most of the work, shaking slightly, the muscles popping as I move faster and faster, my cock disappearing entirely inside her.
My hips circle and I shorten my thrusts so I don’t slip out. She’s wet down to the middle of her thighs and I want to stay inside her deep like this, firmly packed. It’s such a fucking squeeze that a sweat is breaking out at my temples, my muscles wound too tense.
I know I won’t last much longer, but it doesn’t matter.
We have all night.
And we have all the nights after.
I move one hand down to her waist and grip her while the other squeezes in between her hips and the mattress until I reach her clit. It’s soaked and my finger slides over it with ease.
That’s all it takes.
Her body tenses and then starts to quake beneath me. She pulses around my cock, her clit throbbing under my finger. A sharp cry leaves her lips, then fades off into breathless little moans that bounce off the walls.
I come immediately after. There’s a rush along my spine until something at the base of me explodes. I grunt like an animal, thrusting deeper and deeper, the bed shaking. The neighboring rooms are getting quite the show.
I exhale loudly, trying to find my breath again, my heart thudding to a marching beat inside my head. I lean back on my thighs, absently run my hands over her ass while I remember how to breathe. Then, when it doesn’t feel like I’m having a heart attack, when the sweat stops rolling off my brow, I gently pull out.
Leaning forward, I put my lips to her ear. “Did you miss that?”
She turns her head, her eyes closed and makes a sweet murmur of agreement.
I brush the hair off her face and kiss her cheek. Then place tiny, soft kisses on her neck, shoulder, down her spine.
“Welcome home,” I whisper.
Epilogue
Rachel
A waft of cigarette smoke hits my nostrils seconds before Delilah cries out, "Damn it Joe! What in God's name did I tell you about smoking?"
I bite back a laugh as she leaps over the bar like some kind of superhero and stalks across the peanut-shell covered floor to where Old Joe is sitting in his usual booth. I've seen this scene play out weekly over the last four months I've been living in North Ridge and the onl
y difference in tonight is that Joe isn't sitting alone. In fact, he's got a lady friend sitting with him, who I'm pretty sure is Suzy Richardson who used to be the cafeteria lady in high school.
I watch as Del gets to his table, about to rip the cigarette from his lips, then pauses once she notices he has company.
"Oh, sorry," she says, looking between the two of them. With a hand on her hip she puts on her most pleasant voice. "Joe, you know the rules. You can't smoke in here. Besides, it's not exactly the best manners to be smoking in front of your gal."
At that Joe's old face turns beet red, all the way to his white hair and he gives Suzy an apologetic shrug.
Del turns around and heads back to the bar, exchanging an exasperated smile with me and rolling her eyes.
"Well that's a first," she says to me as she begins to wipe down the bar. "All my years here and I've never seen Old Joe with a woman."
"It does get pretty cold in the winter," I tell her. I'm not kidding either. It's early March and the snow has been falling steadily for weeks now. I guess it's a good sign since the snow packs the ski hills and glaciers and ensures that next summer we aren't so low on water, but I'm not used to the temperature. Sure, it got extremely cold in Toronto but that was a city. You were usually inside a building and the city was a maze of lights. In North Ridge it gets black as sin, which makes everything seem even colder.
"Right," Del says, "I guess when you get older you're more likely to settle for anyone."
I glance over my shoulder at them. Joe has the cigarette stubbed out and is chatting away to Suzy, who is leaning forward on her elbows and listening to everything he's saying. It doesn't seem like either of them are settling but I can't blame Del for being cynical. I'm acutely aware of how badly she has it for Fox and how oblivious Fox is.
The bar is pretty empty tonight. A lot of the skiers and snowboarders who come into town are young and are usually at the more obnoxious establishments in town. The Bear Trap is pretty even keel, which is great. It's really become like a second home to me (again).
I thought at first that it would take a bit to get back into the small-town, everyone knows everything, North Ridge, swing of things, but it's like I never left at all. Actually, that's not true. The town isn't the same as it was when I used to live here. My father is gone, put away for good, my mother and I finally have a good and honest relationship, and I'm making new friends. Sure, none of them stay for long but ever since we rebuilt the worker's cottage and added an additional structure, we've been able to turn it into an Air B&B.
