“Sage was notorious for handling rogue supernaturals. Even the ones that weren’t all that dangerous began to fear her. Word got around and a request was sent to my family for me to handle her before she became a problem for us. I was in Eqypt at the time training with a half-demon friend of mine named Mikhail. I accepted the mission because I was curious about how a human could create so much fear in our community.”
Tank bounds into the room, jumps between us and down quickly before Zara can swat him on the butt. She can’t help but smile.
Then, she continues, “I followed her for weeks, studying her fighting skills and habits. I hated to admit it, but she was nearly as strong as me. Definitely even smarter. I had to test her. I needed to feel her energy through battle. That’s when she truly came alive. Her aura sang with a need to fight someone worthy. When we fought, I knew there was no way I’d be able to end an angel like her. I fell in love with her before I even knew what hit me.”
Zara leans back and I can feel the sorrow of her loss.
“Let me see, Zara,” I tell her.
She understands what I mean as she opens up our link and lets me view the woman behind her affections. I see glimpses of hair so white that it looks like freshly fallen snow. I glimpse eyes that are so gray they almost look silver. I see love, a first kiss, hesitant, fearful even, then desire-filled. I see a battle. Zara and Sage are surrounded by nearly twenty wolves, but they fight so beautifully together it can only be art. I see a fallen Sage, the beautiful gray of her eyes fading into nothing and then I see the change as she becomes vampire. Last, I see a tall, dark-haired, glowing Immortal that looks nearly identical to Lawrence standing over Zara. It can only be Blake, the one that Zara killed and fed Sage his blood.
Zara’s anger surges around me so strongly that it coats the back of my tongue. She evicts me from her mind and I am left gasping from the magnitude of the hate. I thought that I hated Namen more than a person can hate anyone, but I was wrong. Zara’s rage has been festering a long, long time and in this moment, I am more afraid of her than I’ve ever been of anything. Now, I understand why even Diana was so hesitant to make a move against her that day at Anubis’s house. She feels almost demonic to me right now.
Before I can contain my thoughts, Zara growls at me in rage, slamming me against the wall. Her eyes are redder than I’ve ever seen them. There is no black visible. It’s absolutely creepy.
“You smell like them,” she snaps. “Are you one of them?”
Oh shit. She’s completely lost it by allowing me to access that part of her. I try to swallow my terror, but it’s very hard right now. Her body is pressed firmly against me. A few feet away, I can hear the dogs whining, unsure of what to do.
“Listen Zara,” I say, much more calmly than I feel. “I’m not them, I didn’t take her away. I’m like Sage okay. We were marked by the immortals. I’m your friend.”
“Liar!” she screams. “You’ve come for me haven’t you. I’ll kill you.” Without hesitation, she finds my neck and buries her fangs into me.
I struggle against her, my hands try to pry her off of me, my power tries to trump hers, but her hold becomes stronger as my strength wanes. The sound of her sucking my life force from me makes me sick as she doesn’t even attempt to make the bite less painful. It burns and feels as if my artery has been ripped completely from my neck. She pulls back so that I can see the pleasure in her eyes, my blood dripping from her mouth. Then, she attacks again. I scream.
Chapter Four
“No!” I yell loudly, pushing away at… air.
Zara looks at me from the couch as if I am a mental patient. “Uh, what the hell, Rayne?” she asks, disturbed by my behavior.
“I, I. You were biting me. You lost control,” I say, sounding crazed.
I look at her eyes and she returns the gaze with wonder. Her eyes are normal, dark, and concerned. There is no blood on her mouth, no rage to be felt. How is that so? Why did it feel so real? I touch my neck and shiver. Namen.
I feel even more violated and betrayed by my own mind. I couldn’t even tell that it wasn’t real. Is this how schizophrenics feel? That was terrifying. I put my arms around my middle and try to keep from shaking.
“Rayne,” Zara starts, reaching for me. I pull away. “It’s okay.” She tries to give me a reassuring look.
“No, it’s not,” I respond, tears filling my eyes. “I need some air,” I mumble before I get up and jog for the door.
When I get outside, I lean against the house and force myself to breathe slowly. My body trembles as I realize just how afraid I was. How afraid I am. I force myself not to cry. I tell myself that it was never real, that Zara would never attack me like that. Still, I had felt her rage; that much was true. But, when did reality shift? What did Namen Young do to me?
I sit outside for half an hour, more so embarrassed that I had let myself lose it like that. Zara keeps her distance, thank God. When I return inside, she’s not even in the living room like I expected. I search for her until I find her in the basement, doing pull-ups with a bar that’s attached to the back wall.
“Can I join you?” I ask shyly.
“Sure,” she responds as if nothing even happened. I appreciate that, but I also know that I can’t run from my issues.
I sit on the yoga mat and stretch. “Thank you,” I tell Zara.
“For what?” she asks, pausing from her routine.
“For giving me space until I’m ready to tell you what happened. For allowing me to hide out here.”
“Oh,” Zara says. She looks at me and smiles. “I’m here whenever you need me. I made you a promise. Whatever you can’t handle, I’ll protect you from.”
“I don’t understand why. Despite the past, you barely know me now. Yet, you’re so confident.” My expression is puzzled, but Zara returns my look like a patient parent.
“Rayne. I can feel you. I see you for what you are and you’re special. There are no doubts.”
“Zara, I’m going to help you get Sage back,” I tell her suddenly, not even realizing why I said that right now.
Zara smiles. “Thank you, Rayne.”
I smile back. How in the hell am I going to do that is the question.
◊◊◊
Zara and I sit on the basement floor as I tell her everything that I felt when I thought that she had attacked me. She questions me about every single detail, hoping to be able to unlock the puzzle of my manipulated mind. We come up with nothing.
“It’s like a super glamour. Even if I tried to negate it with my own, I don’t think it would work because he seems to be deep within your subconscious. Namen wouldn’t go through all this work if he wasn’t concerned about your power. He knows something that we don’t,” Zara decides. I agree with her. “I can help you meditate, but you have to relax.”
“Well, he’s making me feel crazy. Try to search my thoughts and see if you can find something I’m missing,” I tell her as I pull her closer to me, wishing her proximity would just negate his invasion of my mind.
“Okay, look directly into my eyes,” Zara whispers as I breathe in her scent.
She smells sweet like freshly baked cake, inviting, warm. The pheromones she’s kicking out make me want to taste her. This may not be a good idea after all. I pull back hesitantly, thinking about the intimacy between us, but Zara grabs my hand firmly.
“Don’t run. Strengthen your will. We are bonded, but I don’t have to affect you so. Breathe in my scent, recognize it, and then push it away. I’m your friend remember,” Zara coaxes.
I shake my head and then look into her eyes once more. She closes hers, remaining completely still as I reach a decision. I take a slow, deep calming breath and breathe her in completely. Her sent is layered, a hint of sweat under the sweet smell. It sends tingles into my core and I try to push the feeling away. I lean in closer, instinctively as my body craves to be pressed against her.
I tell my mind firmly that that will not happen, but my body, my blood, now lac
ed with hers is responding to her call. Still, Zara remains unmoved as I battle these urges. I recognize her warmth and her need to protect me. I reach for that and pull it into me, accepting her nature. Yet, my body still craves more. My tattoo begins to glow as if it too is seeking her power.
Zara told me that the immortals had so much sex after they reached a certain maturity because they were swapping their energies in the most primal way. Sex rejuvenated them, their auras mixed, replenished one another, and their chakra flowed stronger in their bodies because of it, prolonging their life. It is just as necessary as breathing to them.
Vampires often mixed blood and sex together. It heightened the feeding, gave them something more than just the blood. Vampires crave the energy that the blood gives. Wolves often made love under the full moon, when their power was at its highest peak. Not only is it a rush, but there’s something almost spiritual there for them. Selene never told me about power and sex with witches, but I’ve often felt her magic rise during our lovemaking, even before I knew what it was, before I knew what she was.
Now, I understand this loop even more. A whole new purpose that sex has when you have been awakened. Diana had tried to explain it to me and I didn’t listen. If I touch Zara now, my power will rise. My body is pushing me to that and my mind is doing what it can to fight it. Zara knows and understands. That’s why vampires choose to bond in the first place. Within the bond is power, love, sex, and protection. I don’t want all that, but I may not win this battle.
Without much thought, I give in, allowing weakness to claim me. I open the bond between us, and call Zara’s name, the voice in my head filled with need. Her eyes fly open, red rimmed and purposeful. She’s suspicious of my call, observing my body language.
Please, I whisper inside my head, not completely understanding what I need, but knowing full well what I want.
“I’m sorry Rayne,” she whispers, hesitating only for a second before pinning me to the floor. Her warm breath caressing my neck. Even though she’s shorter than me, her body’s position on top of me makes us eye level.
I turn to her at her apology. “What are you sorry about Zara?” I ask, drunk off the emotions she’s feeding me. A throbbing down below, my body betraying me.
Suddenly, she lets her emotions crash into mine, leaving me gasping for air. She pushes me harder into the floor and I have to force myself not to press my body against hers. Her eyes beg for me to be the one in this situation with some self-control. My desire triggers her instinct, making her lose the battle for composure.
“It sucks when you’re in love with someone who is out of your reach and you’re incredibly attracted to the one in front of you. I want Sage back, Rayne, and regardless of what you’re going through, I know what Selene means to you. But, I’m lonely and you’re hurting. We have a bond and I feel you even when I don’t want to. I wasn’t going to admit it until you did. I’m a hunter and right now, you’re looking like the sweetest meal I’ve ever had. I want to taste you, badly,” Zara admits, her voice low with desire. My body becomes warm all over as I know she means those words in more ways than one.
“I can’t deny anything you’ve said, Zara. I can feel you through this link. I don’t have good judgment right now,” I admit. My breath comes out raspy and I dare not move from under her, feeling like a cornered deer. It will undoubtedly set off a regrettable, albeit probably amazing set of events.
I hope that she didn’t catch that last thought.
“The problem is Rayne, that mixed with our bond and sharing blood, I would never be able to let you go if we had sex. I already have a strong drive to protect you. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if I wasn’t allowed to touch you, even when you work things out with Selene. She would have to share you. You don’t want that, Rayne. I could never give you all of me. I love Sage too much. It would destroy all four of us.” She sounds broken and I’m ashamed to say that she’s just fueling my inner flame.
“Zara,” I start as I stare at her beautiful, full lips. My gaze reaches her eyes, red and pleading. I reach up and run my fingers through her intricate braids. She shudders and kisses the inside of my arm, purposely scraping me with her teeth. “One kiss,” I whisper to her.
“What?” she asks, even though I know that she heard me.
“Just one. Kiss me,” I demand despite my better judgment. I feel my power rise to meet hers in anticipation.
She groans in need and slowly falls into my body. I try to remain still. She moves her mouth closer to mine with the slowness of a baby snail. I know that her behavior is to give me plenty of time to change my mind, but I won’t. I can’t. A single kiss from her is my strongest desire right now. I let her see that in my mind. Believe it.
Zara locks her eyes with mine as she pauses one last time before gently colliding with my lips. With a gentleness that I didn’t believe a vampire could ever possess, she kisses me. It is filled with a promise that wherever I want to go with this, she will follow. I lick her bottom lip as slowly as I can manage, tasting her and committing it to memory.
Then, I allow her razor sharp fang to draw blood from my tongue as I deepen the kiss. There is no pain, only desire. The blood sparks something within her and we both explode with deep craving, clutching each other protectively as our bodies melt into one another.
Zara pumps vamp pheromones into me through her saliva and it increases the pleasure of the kiss 100 fold. I moan and grip her tighter as she possessively sucks on my bottom lip. Our power explores each other’s as I feel like I’m on the verge of an explosion. The raw desire flowing between us is a product of our need to connect, the bond pushing us together. My back arches just as…
Nothing. There is only me and an empty room. The front door closes loudly before I hear the rev of her car engine. Part of me is horrified that if it wasn’t for Zara, I would have never been able to stop myself. The other part of me is angry at her for stopping at all. The latter is the part that scares me. I’ve never felt anything like that before, not even with Selene.
I love Selene, deeply. But this, this is danger. Skydiving without a parachute, swimming with sharks while bleeding. I was on the edge and falling fast. Zara is a drink of water after a week of thirst. I can never, ever do that again. That woman will consume me and I will enjoy every second of it.
Diana had once told me that people believe vampires to be unemotional creatures. The truth is that they are the most emotional of all. With them, everything is heightened. Well, that’s a climb to heights that I should definitely stay away from. I shudder as I press my fingers to my mouth, now scorched from her soft, pink lips. Even my power seems to hide out from the force that Zara is. I don’t think that I’ll have an issue with the bond anymore at least. Hell, I can’t even remember what we were supposed to be doing in the first place.
Chapter Five
Zara doesn’t return until the morning. I’m sure that she fed well and probably did other things that I couldn’t give her. The entire night I thought of her and Selene. Eventually, I’ll have to talk to Selene about Zara. I won’t lie to her. It’s amazing that I’m thinking of this when I can’t even stand to be in the same room with her right now.
This is all bullshit. That damn kiss may have just been the end of my relationship. I’m such an idiot. I had said that I wouldn’t allow that to happen, but I did at the very first opportunity.
The nail in the coffin.
After I shower and throw on some of Zara’s basketball shorts due to my lack of clothes, I find her out in the back with her dogs, playing fetch. Zara turns to acknowledge me but continues to play with her pets.
“I’m going to make this quick okay,” I tell her, the sun beaming into my eyes.
Zara throws the yellow ball one more time as the three race to catch it. She turns to me, arms crossed, closed off. I roll my eyes at her and she smirks and uncrosses her arms.
“I’m going to be honest. That kiss was, wow. It truly opened my eyes. I’ve never felt something so powerful,
Zara. At the same time, it scared the hell out of me. Whatever that was, I don’t want that. I can’t handle that. I think that I’ve gotten the result that I needed. You and I, we’ll be friends, just friends. I think the bond will be okay now.” I take a couple steps toward her and motion for her to close the gap. She does and then I embrace her.
“You are wonderful, Rayne. I’m sorry that I allowed you to betray Selene for my own needs. The priestess already thinks so low of me and I did nothing but prove her right,” Zara says, pulling away.
So, that’s what she’s worried about huh. I smile sadly. “It takes two Zara. I will worry about telling her when the time comes. It’ll be her choice what she does with the info. I just know that it can’t happen again. I’m way too afraid to lose myself in you. Even my power is afraid,” I tell her honestly.
“Well, trust me, you won’t have to deal with me forcing the issue. I felt what could have happened. I already told you that I wouldn’t be able to let you go if it went farther. I think you understand that now.”
“Uh, yeah. Definitely. Thank you for understanding.”
“Thank you for choosing to be my friend. I think it’s what I need more than anything right now,” Zara admits, pausing to throw the ball once again when Nova drops it at her feet.
“You and me both Zara. You and me both.”
◊◊◊
As Zara and I get dressed to go to Anubis’s house, I convince her to let me drive this time. I can’t deal with her driving right now. I’m surprised that she agreed so easily. After I put on my army yoga pants and dark green v-neck sweater, I snatch the keys and wait for her by the front door to lock up with Katsu, my beautiful sword, strapped to my back.
The night air is brisk and the moon illuminates our faces. Tonight is a good night for a battle. Zara is silent as we slide in the car, connecting her phone to the Bluetooth stereo. She plays some old Nas, the rapper, and I nod my head to his smooth rhymes as I pull away. She told me that I need to check out J. Cole, so she’s looking up some of his songs.
Killer Rayne Page 3
