Epic Zero: Tales of a Not-So-Super 6th Grader Books 1-3 (Epic Zero Box Set)

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Epic Zero: Tales of a Not-So-Super 6th Grader Books 1-3 (Epic Zero Box Set) Page 28

by R. L. Ullman


  “Time, Elliott Harkness, is your greatest enemy.”

  Great. Just what I need right now.

  “I’ve got no clue what you’re saying, but I know we’ve got no time to figure out your crazy riddles. So, be a pal and just tell me what you know.”

  “What I know,” The Watcher says, tilting his head towards the stars, “is that everything is about to end. And it is all my fault.”

  “Your fault?” I say. “What are you talking about?”

  “In exchange for immortality, I have sat here for countless millennia witnessing the events of the multiverse. Over that expanse of time, I have watched billions of creatures become parents, and in turn their children became parents, and so on and so forth. I sat, and I watched, and I wondered. What was the purpose of my bargain? What would I have to show for it? Who would I ever share it with?”

  “Um, okay,” I say. Where is this going?

  “By nature, I was not born a cosmic being, but I was granted a measure of cosmic power. And though it was forbidden for me to exercise this power, century by century, decade by decade, my will became weaker and weaker. And then, one day … it broke, and I violated my solemn oath to be an impartial observer.”

  I glance at Grace 2 who’s eyes are bugged out of her head. Whatever’s coming next is gonna be a doozy.

  “So,” The Watcher continues, “I created a child.”

  “You what?” I blurt out.

  “At first, I was able to mask its existence. But as it grew larger, so did its appetite. I tried to satiate it, but it soon became impossible. In time, it wandered away, looking to alleviate its hunger pains.”

  Hunger pains?

  Wait a minute? No way …

  “Y-you mean your child is … is …,” I stutter.

  “Ravager,” The Watcher says. “My child is Ravager.”

  I feel my jaw hit my toes. I immediately think of all those innocent people, all of those helpless creatures—billions of them—destroyed by Ravager, simply because he was hungry.

  “After a while,” The Watcher continues, “it grew too large for even my powers to conceal. It was destructive, and soon its presence became known to the cosmic regulators, Order and Chaos. They reprimanded me, and as a consequence of interfering in the affairs of the multiverse, they took away my sight, but not my immortality. Thus, I have been punished to sit here, in darkness, until the end of eternity.”

  “You should be punished!” I yell. “You’re responsible for all of this death and destruction! All because you wanted a stupid kid?”

  “Yes,” The Watcher says, lowering his head. “As its father, I swore I would protect it at all costs. I begged Order and Chaos to spare it, to use it in any manner they pleased, but to let it live. And use it they did—in their twisted games. That is, until they were destroyed on Arena World and Ravager was set free once again.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “Free to eat more worlds like mine.”

  “This is my greatest regret. I became a father to realize the joys of parenthood, but instead I have unleashed an evil so dark it robs the multiverse of the same light. Ravager may be my child, but I know it must be destroyed.”

  “And how are you going to do that?” I ask.

  “I may be the one who created it,” The Watcher says, “but I am not destined to destroy it.”

  Great. Well if it’s not him than who’s …

  Oh, h-e-double hockey sticks.

  “Elliott Harkness, once again you are the Orb Master. You possess the final Orb of Oblivion, the most powerful weapon in the universe.”

  “Annnnd, what exactly am I supposed to with it?” I ask, dreading the answer.

  “Is it not obvious?” The Watcher says, peering through me with his dead, white pupils. “You must take the Orb of Oblivion to Ravager’s brain, and blow it up.”

  I ENTER BIZARRO WORLD

  “Elliott? Are you okay?”

  I hear my name, and I know I should respond, but I can’t. I’m completely numb.

  Everything spins as Grace 2 guides the Freedom Ferry into a barrel roll. I feel weightless for a moment, the seat belt digging into my chest, but then we’re right-side up and gravity takes hold again. Grace 2 is pushing the Freedom Ferry to the max, and rightly so, because after the Watcher’s shocking revelation we’re running out of time—time to stop Ravager.

  We didn’t have a holding cell for Elliott 2, so we left him on Watcher World for now. And quite frankly, I couldn’t think of a more fitting punishment than being trapped listening to the Watcher blow hot air. At least Dog-Gone 2 stayed behind to keep them company.

  What I can’t understand is why all this bad stuff keeps happening to me? It’s like there’s some giant “kick me” sign on my back. Look, I knew I needed the Orb to stop Ravager—that’s why I came here in the first place—but I always pictured using it from a distance, not up close and personal. I mean, even if I somehow manage to blow up Ravager’s brain, won’t I blow up with it?

  It’s like a suicide mission.

  Fabulous.

  “There is another way,” says the Orb.

  Speaking of fabulous …

  “Quiet,” I say. “I’m not taking advice from you.”

  “You would listen to that blind fool over me?” it says. “His path leads to your demise. My path leads to your ascension. Your crowning as king of the multiverse!”

  “No dice,” I say. “And shut your trap.”

  I try silencing it. Pushing it down. But it’s not moving.

  “You can’t control me,” it says. “I’m not like the other one. Just wait, you’ll see.”

  Great. Can’t wait.

  The Orb. The Blur. Ravager. It’s way too much. And, of course, it’s all up to me.

  And that’s what worries me the most.

  I take a deep breath and exhale.

  I think back to Elliott 2’s words. I can put on a brave face and pretend to be a great hero. But I know the truth.

  I’m not superhero enough for this.

  I mean, if I couldn’t even jump into a sewer to face Alligazer, how am I ever going to do this? Poor Makeshift paid the ultimate price for my mistake. Now I’m supposed to take on a nebulous, globe-eating monstrosity with billions of lives at stake? Who’s kidding who?

  I just want to crawl into a hole and hide. Maybe Captain Justice 2 had it right. Maybe some people aren’t cut out to be heroes.

  “Prepare to submerge,” Grace 2 says.

  “What?” I say. I was so lost in thought I didn’t notice we’d already made it back into Earth 2’s atmosphere. Looking down, I realize we’re making a bee line for a large body of water. “Um, what’s that?”

  “The Atlantic Ocean,” she says.

  “And why are we aimed at it?”

  “To get reinforcements,” she says. Then, she flicks a few switches and the Freedom Ferry converts to amphibious mode. “Hang on.”

  I brace myself as we jackknife through the water, and thousands of tiny bubbles blanket the windshield. I wait for her to level off, but she’s not straightening up. I check the navigator and realize we’re 2,000 feet deep and still diving! I’m not sure the ship can hold up under this kind of pressure. “We’re too deep!”

  “Relax,” Grace 2 says calmly. “We do this all the time.”

  All the time? I’ve got no idea what she’s talking about when suddenly, the bubbles clear, and I’m staring at something humungous sitting on the ocean floor.

  It’s an underwater fortress!

  It’s big, and gray, and divided into three sections connected by air locks. It looks thick—like it’s forged from alloyed steel. On top are several rotating radar dishes and the largest antenna I’ve ever seen. Rows of portholes line each compartment, indicating there are multiple levels inside. The entire structure stands proudly on four thick, metal legs burrowed deep into the ground.

  “What’s that?” I ask.

  “The Hydrostation,” Grace 2 says. “Hydro means water, but phonetically it’s Hide-ro
, as in hidden. Get it? Not a bad name for the secret headquarters of the Freedom Force.”

  That’s the secret headquarters of the Freedom Force 2? Then I realize why no one’s heard of the Waystation around here. Because there is no Waystation. It’s a Hydrostation!

  We cruise around the building’s perimeter, stopping in front of a giant hatch door that slides welcomingly open. Grace 2 maneuvers us inside and the door shuts behind us. Large, rotating wheels lock us in tight.

  We’re inside, but still hovering in sea water, making me wonder how we’re actually going to get out of the ship. But that’s quickly answered when large pumps in the hangar floor kick on, expelling the water and gently lowering us to the floor. Then, giant fans hanging from the ceiling take care of any remaining moisture.

  The hangar is bone dry. Pretty impressive.

  “Are you ready to meet the rest of the team?” she asks, popping open the Freedom Ferry door.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” I say.

  Grace 2 exits first, and is greeted by a motley crew of costumed heroes. Ms. Understood 2 leads the pack, running up and giving Grace 2 a big hug. “Grace, what happened? We thought you were captured. We were about to come rescue you.”

  “I was,” Grace 2 says. “But Elliott rescued me first.”

  “Elliott?” Ms. Understood 2 says.

  Before my foot hits the ground she wraps me up in a big hug. “I never thought I’d see you again,” she says. “But I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for saving her. I guess we owe you twice now.”

  “My pleasure,” I say. It’s still weird seeing a version of my mom with blond hair instead of brown. Then, I notice a small gray rat sitting on her shoulder that could only be this world’s version of TechnocRat.

  “That seals it,” he says, staring at the Freedom Ferry with his beady little eyes, and pulling on a long whisker. “My theory is confirmed.”

  I’ve got no clue what he’s talking about. But what interests me more is the skinny, spikey-haired man standing behind them. He’s wearing a green costume with gold electric volts that meet in the center of his chest.

  Taser? He’s a good guy?

  Then, to his right, comes a small, thick-set man with an orange costume and a mohawk. Could it be? Without thinking, I run over and throw my arms around him.

  “Makeshift! I’m so happy to see you!”

  He looks down at me funny and says, “Um, do I know you?”

  Suddenly, I realize this isn’t the Makeshift from my world. It’s Makeshift 2! I back up, my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else. It’s a long story.”

  “I bet,” he says.

  I take in the ragtag group of heroes standing before me. This is all that’s left of the Freedom Force 2? If so, I don’t know how we’re going to defeat Ravager. We need more help. Major help.

  “Mind if I lend a hand?” comes a deep voice.

  I turn to find a dark-haired man in a red, white and blue uniform stepping out of the air lock—the scales of justice insignia stretched across his chest. It’s Captain Justice 2! His beard is trimmed and his hair is cut short.

  “Dad?” Grace 2 says. “What are you doing here?”

  Captain Justice 2 puts his hand on my shoulder. “Someone reminded me of what it means to be a hero. It doesn’t matter what powers you have, or how good you are at using them, being a hero is about never giving up, no matter the odds.”

  “So, you’re back?” Grace 2 asks.

  He looks at Ms. Understood 2 and smiles. “Yes, I’ve rejoined the Freedom Force.”

  Grace 2 gives him a big hug. “That’s the best news ever.”

  “So, where exactly have you guys been?” Ms. Understood 2 asks.

  Grace 2 and I look at each other.

  “Speaking of long stories,” she says. “How about we give you the quick version over some jelly doughnuts? I’m starving!”

  ***

  After recapping our crazy adventures in the Galley, we take a much needed bathroom break and then reconvene in the Mission Room. As I enter, I marvel at how eerily identical the Hydrostation is to the Waystation. Some of the rooms are on different levels, but both headquarters have a Combat Room, a Monitor Room, a Lounge, a Galley, a Vault, a Lab, and, of course, living quarters.

  The Freedom Force 2 take their seats around the large, circular conference table. There are twelve seats in all, so I hop into one of the empty ones.

  “So Elliott,” Ms. Understood 2 starts, “from what I understand, the entire multiverse is collapsing into one, there’s a giant mist coming to swallow your Earth, you’re carrying the most powerful weapon in the universe, and my son and his dog are stranded on a distant planet being watched by a cosmic, blind babysitter. Did I miss anything?”

  “Nope, that pretty much sums it up,” I say.

  “So what’s our next move?” Captain Justice 2 asks.

  “I need to get back home,” I say. “As quickly as possible.”

  “And how are you going to do that?” he asks.

  “Well, my friend Wind Walker got me here, and he told me to call him when I wanted to go back. So, I guess I should give him a shout. I suggest you cover your ears.”

  The heroes look at one another, and then comply. I stand up, inhale deeply, and yell, “WIND WALKER!”

  But there’s nothing.

  From the stares I’m getting, I’ve clearly identified myself as a crazy person. “Sorry,” I say. “That’s how I got him last time.”

  Before Wind Walker took off, he told me he was trying to figure out the Blur. He said that hopefully he could come back for me. So, if he’s not here, something must have gone terribly wrong. And now there’s no way for me to get back home.

  My legs feel wobbly and I slump back into my chair. I can’t believe I got this far, and now I’m stuck. My family, my friends, they’re all doomed.

  “I … I failed my mission,” I say.

  “Perhaps,” TechnocRat 2 says, scampering to the center of the table, “but perhaps not. Follow me.” Then he leaps onto the floor and runs into the hallway.

  We follow him through the Hydrostation until he bolts into a familiar looking, sunken chamber—his laboratory.

  Apparently, this TechnocRat isn’t any neater than mine. He’s got all the beakers, vials, Bunsen burners, microscopes and other assorted equipment my rat does, but there’s one noticeable difference. Smack-dab in the center of the room is a giant sphere.

  “What’s with the hamster ball?” Taser 2 asks.

  “Very funny,” TechnocRat 2 says, climbing up a mini-ramp and parking himself in front of a computer. “I call it the Jump Ship.”

  “Also known as big trouble,” Grace 2 whispers.

  “You see,” TechnocRat 2 continues, punching computer keys with his paws, “I’ve been picking up some odd readings in our atmosphere.” Then he points at me with his tail. “The fact that he’s standing here is astonishing in its own right—although I presume this Wind Walker character transported him here through a wormhole. But what’s more astonishing is the vehicle they arrived in. That Freedom Ferry is from his universe, and it entered our universe on its own.”

  “So?” Taser 2 says. “Get to the point, cheese head.”

  “So, according to my analytical models, at this very moment his universe and our universe are literally sitting on top of one another.”

  “What?” Makeshift 2 says.

  It’s the Blur. It’s happening to us. Like, right now!

  “Our two universes are in a state of pre-merger,” TechnocRat 2 says. “At any time, the molecules could shift and one of our universes will be completely and totally wiped out.”

  “Well, that’s comforting,” Taser 2 says.

  “If I could have everyone step inside the Jump Ship. Except you, Captain, you’ll need to wait here.”

  We scramble up the ramp and inside the strange sphere. It’s not as roomy as it looks from the outside, but at least it’s translucent, so it feels l
arger than it is.

  “Okay, TechnocRat,” Captain Justice 2 says. “What’s going on here?”

  “The Jump Ship is constructed entirely from unstable molecules that don’t conform to the traditional rules of our universe. So, if my calculations are correct, when propelled with the right amount of force we may be able to exit our universe and enter Elliott’s universe. All we need is for our resident strongman to pick us up, and pitch the fastest, hardest fast ball ever recorded.”

  “And if your calculations are wrong?” Ms. Understood 2 asks.

  “Captain Justice will have a lot of cleaning up to do.”

  “Lovely,” I say.

  “Is there any way I can join you after?” Captain Justice 2 asks.

  “I’m afraid not, Captain,” TechnocRat 2 says. “This may be the last time we see each other.”

  “Dad, no!” Grace 2 cries.

  “Sorry, darling,” he says, lifting the enormous sphere with one hand. “But as I’ve come to realize, being a hero is about sacrifice, no matter how painful the consequences may be.”

  And then, with tremendous strength, he stretches back, and hurls us towards the far wall.

  I ATTEND A FAMILY REUNION GONE WRONG

  Ripping through the fabric of the universe is deafening stuff.

  It sort of sounds like splitting your pants—not that it’s ever happened to me—but magnified a million times. Inside the Jump Ship, we’re smashing into each other like kernels in a popcorn machine, and I’m pretty sure at one point a tail went up my nose!

  This whole experiment is a crazy gamble. Our only hope is that TechnocRat 2’s unstable molecules do their job. In hindsight, I probably should have asked a few more questions before putting my life at risk. Like, what’s the probability this will actually work? But it’s too late now.

  Looking through the exterior of the Jump Ship is like looking through frosted glass. I can tell it’s dark outside—like we’re spinning through nothingness—but that’s about it. Who knows, maybe we’re already dead? Boy, wouldn’t that solve all my problems, at least in the short run.

  I think I’m gonna be sick.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?”

  “Not now,” I answer in my mind. “Please.”

 

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