by Sarah Pond
Daisy was feeling nervous about going out with Ryan again. She decided against a drink for courage, relaxation or any other reason. She wanted to be clear headed this evening.
They went to a different restaurant this time. Once they had ordered, the waiter walked away with the menus. Ryan was watching Daisy. He said, 'Thank you for coming out tonight. I'm really pleased you changed your mind.'
Daisy smiled back at him. She was glad that she had agreed to go out again. He really was very sweet, and certainly very easy on her eyes. 'So am I. But you must know I'm a bit rusty at this dating business.' She paused. 'After my marriage ended, I was a bit of a social recluse, to be honest.'
'Well, that's good for me, otherwise I think you'd have been snapped up by now.' He was looking at her intensely.
'Thank you, that's very sweet. Not true, but sweet.' Still, it was a lovely compliment.
'Why would you even say that? You're very attractive and very sweet.'
Blushing, she said, 'You don't even know me. Not really.'
'Well, hopefully we can change that.' Ryan left the words hanging in the air.
After dinner, they held hands as they walked along the seafront. Her hand felt small in his, which she also found very comforting. Every now and again, they would smile at each other, and Ryan would squeeze Daisy's hand. As it was getting late, Ryan offered to walk Daisy home. 'If you don't mind, I won't ask you in.'
'That's okay. I'm not going to rush you at all, you know that?'
Daisy nodded her head, and as she looked up at him, he bent down to kiss her, and she responded enthusiastically. She was very tempted to change her mind and ask him in, but she had Jess to think of. Also, she didn't want Ryan thinking she was that easy. As they pulled away from each other, they were still holding hands.
Ryan asked, 'Are you free tomorrow?'
'I've got plans, actually.'
'I'd love to spend a day with you. Can we do that sometime?'
'Yes, that sounds nice. I'll let you know. Stephen has Jess every other weekend usually.'
'Okay, so another time. Night, then.' He planted another kiss on her cheek, then turned to go.
At the end of the path, he turned again and blew Daisy a kiss. She laughed, and stood on the doorstep as his back receded down the road. She felt like a teenager, with a fizzy feeling in her stomach. Closing the door gently, she climbed the stairs to her bedroom two at a time, smiling to herself.
The next day, Eve turned up as arranged. They were going out for lunch and shopping, with a visit to the cinema in the evening. 'I hope you don't mind, but I've invited Kate. She was at a bit of a loose end today.'
'Not at all, that's great. Did I tell you I bumped into her the other week, and we went for a coffee. I was upset about Ryan cancelling the date, and she was really sweet.'
'She said she'd seen you, not what you talked about. She really is a lovely person. It would be good if she could meet someone, too.'
When they met up at Churchill Square, they all hugged one another. 'Good to see you again. How are you doing?' Kate's question was directed at Daisy.
'Much better, thanks. Actually, I had another date with Ryan last night.'
'Ooh, do tell!'
Over lunch, Daisy updated them both on the date. 'I don't want to rush anything, but I do really like him.'
'It sounds like he's pretty sweet on you too,' Kate smiled at Daisy.
'How about you, is there someone you like?' Daisy was asking Kate.
'Not at the moment. I'm quite happy being single for now.' She looked away as she spoke.
Daisy had a feeling that Kate didn't want to say more at the moment. Also, she didn't really know her that well, so didn't like to ask.
The day was very relaxed, and they laughed a lot. Kate had a very dry sense of humour, and often had Daisy and Eve in fits of laughter. By the end of the day, Daisy felt that she had known Kate for years. 'I just don't understand how I didn't meet you ages back.'
Kate said, 'Well, I only moved back this way fairly recently. I'd been out of touch with Eve, along with a few other friends, to be honest.' She looked a bit embarrassed as she said it.
Eve was cheery, brushing over the past, 'The main thing is that you're back now. I think we should make this a regular event!' Everyone agreed.
Daisy was really pleased to hear from Bryan. 'How are you? It seems ages since the coaching weekend.'
'I'm very well, thanks. I wondered whether you fancied meeting up. I've got a few days off work, so I can come to Brighton if that's easier for you.'
They arranged to meet the following Friday. Just like the first time, Bryan enveloped Daisy in a great bear hug. As they pulled away from one another, Daisy exclaimed, 'Your beard!'
Bryan laughed, 'It was getting a bit hot in the warm weather, so I decided to shave it off!'
'I like it.' Bryan smiled, reddening slightly.
They went inside the cafe to find a table, and got settled in. 'I have to say, you look amazing, Daisy. You seem different.'
'Thank you. That weekend really started something for me.'
She went on to tell him about her exploits with Eve, and how she had brought the ideas into work. Bryan was enthralled with the stories, and congratulated her on her success. Mid conversation, Daisy turned around to see Kate walking towards her, about to leave the cafe. 'Hi, how are you?' They both spoke at the same time.
They exchanged hugs, and Daisy introduced her to Bryan. After a few pleasantries, Kate said she had to get back to work. 'Good to meet you.' She shook hands with Bryan.
As she said goodbye to Daisy, Kate raised her eyebrows and smiled in a cheeky way, making Daisy laugh.
A couple of weeks later, Daisy was at Eve's when Kate popped round. 'Sorry, I didn't realise you were here. I should have called first.'
Eve said, 'Don't be silly, the more the merrier. It's lovely to see you. Right, let's get you a drink.'
Once they were all sitting down, Kate said, 'I'm glad I've seen you, Daisy. I wanted to ask you about the other week.'
Eve said, 'Ooh, what happened?'
Daisy remembered, 'Oh, yes, I bumped into Kate in town.'
'So, that was the lovely Ryan, then?' Kate was grinning at Daisy.
Eve exclaimed, 'Ooh, you met Ryan. I want to meet him!'
Daisy was confused. 'Huh?'
'At the cafe. I must say, he wasn't quite how I'd pictured him from what you'd said.'
Daisy's face was full of consternation, until the realisation hit her, and she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' Now it was Kate's turn to be confused.
'That was Bryan you met. A guy I met at the coaching weekend. Not Ryan.'
This tickled Eve to the point of uncontrollable laughter, which had the other two giggling too. When the laughter had subsided, Eve said, 'Ah, I remember Bryan. The big guy with the beard.'
'Yes, except he's shaved it off now. It suits him, actually.'
Eve spoke towards Kate, 'I think he's a bit sweet on her.'
Daisy raised her eyebrows, 'Like I said at the time, we're just friends.'
'So, he didn't try to ask you out, then?' Daisy blushed. 'I knew it!'
'He didn't ask me out, ask me out.'
'Erm, what does that mean?' Eve nudged her friend.
'Well, he was asking quite a few questions, and I did tell him that I was seeing someone. After that, he changed tack.'
'So, when are we going to get to meet this Ryan, then?' Eve looked hopeful.
Daisy laughed, 'When I don't think you're going to scare him off!'
'Bloody cheek!'
'Seriously, we've only had two dates so far. Let's just see how it goes. Between you and Cheryl, I can't get out from under the microscope.'
Kate was listening to their banter, seeing how easy and comfortable Eve and Daisy were together. It was a lovely atmosphere to be in, and she thoroughly enjoyed the evening.
Over the next few weeks, Daisy and Ryan had a few more dates. Dinners and cinema v
isits, walks and museums. She still hadn't introduced him to Jess yet. She had talked to Ryan a lot about Jess, and said that he would get to meet her. Maybe it was time, things seemed to be going well. They were taking things slowly, Daisy didn't want to rush anything at the moment, and Ryan respected that. She decided that she would talk to Jess first. Jess knew that she had been out with Ryan a few times, but Daisy didn't mention him too much, so that Jess could get used to the idea.
Daisy's life felt good. She was feeling good from her exercise classes, she was dating a great guy, her daughter was a darling, and she had good friends. Wonderful, at last things were looking up.
CHAPTER NINE
The bombshell came out of nowhere. Of course they were long over. Yes, she knew that Stephen had a girlfriend. But getting married? Fuck. Daisy knew the expression “having the rug pulled from under you”, she had experienced that when she found out Stephen was having an affair. But getting married. To that slut. Okay, maybe that wasn't fair. It takes two. Stephen was the married one. But still… He was married to me.
The desolation that raged through Daisy's body literally brought her to her knees. Her chest went tight, and the tears flowed. Great, gasping, sobbing breaths escaped her body. How could he do this to her. Even through the enveloping darkness, she couldn't understand why this affected her so strongly. There was never any going back. Even if he had pleaded. Which he hadn't. She never could have stayed married to him, and that was that. She had always known that there was the possibility that he would marry again. Plenty of people did it. She was long since over it. Wasn't she? Fuuuuccckk.
He didn't even have the decency to tell her himself. She'd had a lovely day with Eve and Kate, and that evening, once Jess was back from Stephen's, it had come out whilst Daisy was reading to Jess.
'I really like that story, Mum.'
'So do I. This book is getting so tatty where you've read it so much.' Daisy gently stroked the cover with her fingertips. She had bought the book when Jess was just four years old.
'I'm glad the princess was happy in the end.' Jess leaned back on her pillow, looking sleepily contented.
Daisy smiled lovingly at her daughter, and squeezed her in a hug, 'Me too.'
'I'd like to get a dress like hers. For the wedding.'
Daisy was beginning to get sleepy too, having been snuggled up on Jess' bed after a busy day. 'What wedding?'
'You know. Dad's.'
Daisy was sure that she'd misheard. Stephen hadn't said anything to her. He would usually always tell her something important before he told Jess, just in case there was any problem.
'Sorry, darling? I don't know what you're talking about.'
'Dad's wedding. I can't remember when it is.'
Jess seemed very relaxed about the whole idea, whereas Daisy suddenly felt paralysed. She seemed to have lost all ability to move, speak or even think.
'Mum, have you gone to sleep?' Jess snuggled into her shoulder, bringing her round.
Daisy forced out her voice as best as she could. 'Um, no. Okay, time to settle down. Night night, darling.'
She pulled the duvet over Jess' shoulders as she lay down, and quickly turned off the bedside lamp so that Jess wouldn't see the expression on her face.
'Night Mum.'
Daisy rushed to her bedroom, collapsing on the floor in sobs.
Cheryl was shocked by how withdrawn Daisy looked on Monday morning. Daisy gave her an 'I don't want to talk about it' glare, and Cheryl respectfully smiled, and faced back towards her computer screen. She had an excellent relationship with her boss, and although she did regard her as a friend, there was also a line that she knew not to cross.
About an hour later, she knocked on Daisy's door. 'I've just brought you some coffee.'
'Thanks, Cheryl.' She smiled weakly, and appreciated the fact that Cheryl didn't hang around or try and ask her anything. Work was what she had to do. All the time she focussed on work, she would be fine. Just hold it together.
As soon as Daisy answered the phone and heard Eve's voice, she burst into tears. Eve said, 'I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Kate's here, can I bring her too?'
Jess was already in bed when they arrived. As soon as they were in the lounge, Eve, followed by Kate, wrapped Daisy in a big hug. Once they were sitting down, Daisy told them what had happened in staccato words.
'Hey, you can't let this stop you. You've been doing so well. And Ryan. Have you seen him recently?'
'Not since Saturday. It's hardly going to sound good to him if I'm so upset about my ex getting married. He'll think I still love him.' Daisy dissolved into tears again.
There was a lengthy pause, before Eve asked, 'Do you?'
'No, of course not.' Daisy spat the words out with indignation.
Eve wasn't quite so sure of the quick-fire answer. She asked delicately, 'Are you sure about that?'
Daisy sighed heavily, 'No. I don't love him, I mean. Well, I love him because he's Jess' dad. I was in love with him, obviously. But no, I'm not still in love with him. I'm fucking furious with him.'
It was Kate who quietly said, 'You're experiencing the betrayal all over again. It's quite natural. The same happened to me.'
Eve and Daisy looked solemnly at Kate. Daisy said, 'Really?'
'I wasn't married, but we had lived together for ten years. We shared everything. When I found out about her affair, my world came to an end. Well, that's what it felt like.'
Daisy reached out, and held Kate's hand. Eve put her arm around Kate's shoulder, 'You poor thing.'
'About a year later, I found out she had settled down with someone, they'd bought a house together. There was more than that, too. It threw my world upside down all over again. I was a mess for a long time.' Kate looked Daisy deep in the eye, 'Don't let Stephen do that to you. Your relationship has been over for years. Do you think he'd react that way if he knew about Ryan?'
For a moment, a glint came into Daisy's eye.
Kate was stern, 'Don't even go there. I tried the one-upmanship approach. It will only end in tears. Yours. For me, it was a lot of one night stands, brief flings, and heartbreak. To be honest, that's why I've stayed single for a long time now. I was sick of what my life had become, and decided to sort myself out before I even thought about being with someone else.'
Daisy looked both shocked and sobered at Kate's words.
Kate cleared her throat, 'Sorry, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, it's none of my business. I just don't want to see you hurt.'
Daisy hugged Kate, 'Thank you.'
Daisy, Eve and Kate decided to have a girls weekend and pyjama party. They took Jess to the park and the aquarium, bought ice cream to eat whilst sitting on the beach, then topped the day off with fish and chips.
After watching Toy Story 1 and 2, Daisy got Jess settled into bed. She hugged everyone goodnight, and thanked them for a wonderful day. When Daisy returned to the lounge, Kate said, 'Jess really is a sweetheart.'
'Thank you. She really enjoyed spending the day with you.'
Daisy went off to the kitchen to make them all a drink, 'Right, I think it's alcohol time now!'
Having watched Bridget Jones' diary, Daisy flicked the remote to turn off the television, topped up the drinks, and refilled the snacks in the bowls on the wooden coffee table.
Daisy was thoughtful, 'Kate, you don't have to answer this, but do you think you'd like to have kids sometime?'
Kate flushed, and hesitated before she answered. 'I dunno. Maybe. If it was the right person. Why do you ask?'
'Well, you were so good with Jess today. You seem like a natural.' Daisy noticed a tear glistening in the corner of Kate's eye. 'Sorry, I shouldn't have asked.'
'No, no, that's quite alright. That's sweet, thank you.' She smiled at Daisy, and their eyes locked for a moment.
Daisy thought she noted a look of longing, maybe she wanted children more than she realised. The moment was broken with Eve's voice, 'So, let's have a toast. To friendship, and moving on!'
They all cheered to that, and the chatter started again.
At three in the morning, Daisy swaggered her way up to bed, leaving Eve and Kate to crash on the sofa bed. Between the two of them, they had quite a laugh trying to unfold it from the frame, but eventually managed it through fits of giggles. Saying goodnight, they were asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.
The sudden shaft of light streaming across the room worked as a very efficient wake up call. Kate and Eve rubbed bleary eyes, to see Jess standing by the curtains. 'Morning!' She then took a jump to bundle the women, who screamed with laughter. Getting up, Jess said, 'It's time for Toy Story 3!' and proceeded to put the dvd in the player.
By this time, Daisy had joined the others, still a little worse for wear, and plonked herself down on the makeshift bed. There, the four of them snuggled up to watch the film. The ending always brought a tear to Daisy's eye, which she wiped away quietly.
Daisy saw a lot of Eve and Kate over the next few days, and was starting to feel better about the news of Stephen's marriage. It helped that Kate understood, and could share her experiences. She still thought there was more to the story of Kate and her ex, but she didn't like to ask.
The following Saturday, with Jess at Stephen's, Daisy had arranged to go out with Ryan. He hadn't seen much of Daisy recently, and was looking forward to spending some time with her. They had a day trip to London planned, which would make a nice change to a local restaurant for just an evening.
Sitting on the train up to Victoria, Ryan said, 'I've really missed you this week. I've been looking forward to today.'
'Me too.' Daisy smiled at him.
Ryan thought that something seemed different about Daisy, but he couldn't make out what it was. Anyway, he wasn't going to think about it too much, he just wanted to enjoy the day. They started with a walk along the Thames, stopping at a pub overlooking the river for some lunch. After Daisy's second glass of wine, she said, 'It seems funny sitting with you here, now.'
