In Another World With My Smartphone: Volume 17

by Patora Fuyuhara

  I started driving faster through the rocky area, hoping to catch up to the Strain ahead.

  “Whoa!”

  We emerged from the rocky, forested area on to a wet, muddy field. It was sort of like a swamp, but a rice paddy probably would’ve been a closer comparison. The paths for vehicles to drive on were spread out like a sprawling web.

  The field didn’t bother me as much as the gigantic Merlion statues did, though. There were a ton of them dotted around the place. It made me feel highly uneasy.

  I decided to keep on driving while avoiding the muddy areas, I didn’t want to get caught in the mud and then sink so deep I couldn’t get out.

  The other racers were also maneuvering around cautiously, which caused us to end up quite bunched up. As I carefully steered around, trying to avoid the muddy areas, I heard a blasting sound.

  “Bwaugh!”

  “Owiee!”

  “Ohhh! The Silver Star got attacked by a jet of water! What a pawsitively evil trap!”

  One of the Merlion statues suddenly blasted a straight jet of water towards Monica and Rosetta. The force of the jet was like that of a fire hose, causing their vehicle to get pushed back into a muddy pit.

  “Gaaah!”

  The jet finally let up, but only after blasting the vehicle so much that it was flipped on its side in the mud.

  I’m in trouble here...

  “Ma’am... No, ma’am! This is harassment!”

  “Like, goddamnit, and stuff! This is totally unfair!”

  Rosetta and Monica, now completely caked in mud, started cursing Babylon’s name as they flipped their car back to position and slowly started driving it back to the pathway.

  Everyone else kept driving on, taking extra care to watch the Merlion statues.

  The muddy Silver Star finally got back on track a bit ahead of me, and we left the paddy.

  As we filed out of the field, the road turned into a rough mountainous one. The bumpy surface was clearly the challenging part of this road... But it was way beyond just bumpy.

  “Urhgghughgh...”

  The road was so uneven and rough that I felt as though I was riding a rodeo bull machine. Paula started hopping up and down as if she were bouncing on a trampoline. My vehicle had been outfitted for extra durability on this road, so I didn’t even want to imagine how badly the cars that didn’t go in for the pit stop changes were faring.

  “Oh?”

  I drove past Nia’s Red Cat, which I expected to be ahead of me. It was parked by the roadside. I looked to my left and saw Nia hunched over, holding her own hair back for some reason.

  “Bleeeeeegh...”

  ...I am going to erase that scene from my memory. That’s what you get for skipping on the pit stop, though.

  I felt a bit sorry for her, but I had to focus on the race.

  “Ohoho! The Steel Ax is showing its might along this path! It just overtook the Swan and claimed first!”

  Oh? If I remember right, the Steel Ax skipped on the pit stop too... I have a feeling that it won because of the driver’s hardiness rather than the Ether Vehicle itself, though... Dwarves are made of sterner stuff, after all.

  “This... is... too... shaky!”

  It was like I was driving on top of a giant washboard. By the time I got done with that bumpy hell of a path, I was struggling to keep Linze’s sandwich from crawling back up out of my mouth.

  “That was awful...” I was in no state to drive properly after that horrible jolt to my system. As I slowly proceeded down the road, the Felsen came rushing past me.

  “Muahaha! Looks like you’re still a little wet behind the ears, Grand Duke!”

  Shut up... I just have a delicate stomach. No, wait... This is a normal reaction! You’re the weirdo here!

  “The forest track is nearly over and done with! Steel Ax has taken the lead, followed by the Swan in second! The Triharan’s in third, followed by Strain, the Silver Star, Felsen, Brunhild, and the Red Cat in dead last! You’re a disgrace to the feline persuasion!”

  Even though the road was clearer, I was still feeling the aftereffects of that bumpy hellscape. I listened to Mr. Mittens as I picked up the pace a bit in an attempt to catch up. I checked my rearview mirror and saw that Nia’s pie-caked car had managed to get on to the somewhat comfier road too.

  “...It’s getting colder, isn’t it?”

  As we came to the end of the forest track, the air got chillier. That was probably a result of the next area, the snow track.

  “The Steel Ax is the first vehicle out of the gate! The Swan is close behind in second! They’re heading straight towards the snow track! A dangerous, icy path indeed! Put on your kitten mittens, kids!”

  The snow track was designed to be hella icy. Without changing the tires to an appropriate set, there was no way you’d be able to make it through.

  I finally passed through the goal gate, coming in at seventh place.

  I entered the next area and found the roads already covered in a faint layer of snow. The snow was inauthentic and magically generated, but basically identical to the real thing. Plus, since I was seventh, I had to deal with the extra-slippery aftermath of the previous cars that had driven through the road already.

  Just like back at the forest, there was a signpost pointing out the pit stop. Obviously, I was going to use it.

  The cold air vanished the moment I was warped to the garage area... Which was pretty obvious, considering the garage was near a nice, warm beach.

  I saw a familiar sight in front of garages six and seven. A duo grinning and glaring at each other.

  “Ehehehehh...”

  “Ahahahahahh...”

  It was the princess and the prince, both of them pale in the face. That was probably because of the hellish washboard road they’d just been on.

  After I drove the Brunhild into the garage and instructed the minibots to do what they needed to do, I lay down on the floor. I had to do anything I could to mitigate the carsickness I was feeling.

  “Paula, hey... Can you bring me some ice?”

  I asked Paula to fetch some ice cubes over from the freezer. She was completely fine, obviously. No, wait... It would’ve been fine if I could cast [Refresh] on myself, but magic wasn’t allowed.

  I broke off a chunk of the ice and tossed it into my mouth. I focused on licking and sucking at it, and my nausea gradually began to subside.

  Motion sickness generally arose when your central nervous system was overstimulated and received conflicting messages. That was why focusing on licking a piece of ice could help stabilize your body and make your nervous system think everything was going to be okay... At least that’s what I heard on TV one time.

  It might’ve been a placebo, but it did help.

  That apparently worked for hangovers as well, though. Drinking icy water was a solid way to sober up, some even called it an effective hangover cure. But I didn’t drink so I wouldn’t really know if that was valid.

  Apparently, spicy food was also good at stabilizing the central nervous system, but I wasn’t really interested in nibbling on chili peppers.

  I changed into a thick jacket, which would hopefully help me fight against the cold.

  After that, I hopped into Brunhild. It had been outfitted with spiked tires.

  The six vehicles that were ahead of me had already rolled out by the time I was done.

  Before long, the road had become covered in ice. Apparently, pure ice actually had some decent friction on it, so it wasn’t actually awful to drive on. It was only bad when the surface level was slightly melted, creating a slippery water membrane.

  “Whoa!”

  My tires slipped a bit, so I had to pull on the steering wheel. Damn... Some of this ice is partly melted, I’ll definitely have to take care.

  “Steel Ax is still blazing ahead in first! Its caterpillar tracks are making it impossible for the ice to slip it up! The ice is practically shattering under it!”

  We were on a long, U-shaped bend, whi
ch gave me a good view of the Steel Ax. Oh come on... What are you, a tank or a bulldozer or something? Is it even legal to use caterpillar tracks?! It wasn’t exactly specified in the rules, but come on!

  Since the dwarves had been working on the Dverg, I wondered if they’d learned about tracks from Babylon or something. I wondered if the next Dverg model they built would use caterpillar tracks.

  “But there’s no denying that its weight is slowing it purrty heavily down! The Swan is catching up little by little and... Ohh, it passed! The Swan is in first! But it’ll have to face the ice-walls of doom!”

  There were several blocks of ice piled up to form impassable walls that covered parts of the road. They were around a meter tall each. They continued in a pattern. One wall blocking the right side of the road, then one blocking the left, and so on.

  If you wanted to avoid crashing, then you’d have to make several sharp zigzag turns. It was a very difficult thing to do, given how slippery the ice was.

  “Ghh...”

  Lapis began carefully navigating past the walls, but the Steel Ax just began plowing through the ice.

  “You think this is enough to stop dwarven engineering?!”

  Everyone stared, dumbfounded, as the tank-like vehicle started annihilating every obstacle in its path.

  It swiftly took first place back from the Swan. I honestly had no idea if the dwarves were insane or geniuses.

  Wait, crap... That definitely looked dumb, but now the ice wall fragments are obstacles for everyone behind him! If he planned this, then... Nah, there’s no way he planned this.

  Everyone behind continued on, weaving through the broken ice fragments.

  The smaller chunks were easily driven over, but the larger pieces had to be avoided. The Felsen, on the other hand, was able to do a smaller-scale version of what the Silver Ax had just done.

  “After the ice walls, we have the slippery slope! Everyone be careful as you drive up, okay?! Especially if you’re behind a vehicle! You never know what might happen if it loses its grip and falls back on to you!”

  It was a wide, uphill road with an extra-slippery surface. I assumed that it would probably become a downhill road at some point, though.

  Hmm... If I slip here, I’ll fall right to the bottom... The best thing to do here would probably be to drive straight up with a lot of force. As I began to ponder the best way to make it up the hill, it happened. Several massive snowballs, around two meters in diameter each, appeared at the top of the slope. They all started rolling down towards our vehicles.

  ...Shit.

  ◇ ◇ ◇

  “Gwaaah!” The Steel Ax, hurtling ahead at the front of the race, suddenly collided with one of the massive snowballs. The snowball did not break, even after the vehicle impacted it, which made me assume they’d been magically reinforced.

  The enormous snowball strained against the Steel Ax, pushing a massive weight down on the vehicle.

  “Ghhh...”

  Griff desperately put his foot down on the accelerator, but it seemed like even staying in the same spot was using up all the power the vehicle had in it.

  But the Steel Ax’s fate was sealed as another snowball rolled down and pushed against the one that was already straining against the vehicle.

  “Gueh?!”

  In a flash, the entire vehicle lost its battle against the obstacles, sending it crashing back down the slope along with the snowballs.

  “Nuooooooh?!”

  The Steel Ax went all the way down to the bottom and pitifully rolled off the course.

  “Bless my little kitten mittens, the Steel Ax just went from first to last place in the blink of a cat’s eye! He’s even gone off-track! Oh my... Ohhhh! No! He’s skidding and crashing through ice walls, he’s overturned!! Aaah! His emergency teleport kicked in and took him back to the garage, folks!”

  Welp... Griff’s fine, but I worry about the state of the Steel Ax. Even if he does get it back here I don’t think he’ll be able to clear this area before the time limit now... Guess he’s out.

  “That was a shame, guess I’ll— Agh!”

  Whoa, that was close! How’d I fail to notice that snowball?! Guess I can’t let myself get distracted with moving obstacles all around.

  Everyone carried on, carefully, up the slope. Lapis and her Swan had taken first place thanks to the Steel Ax’s fall. She was closely followed by the Triharan, which was in turn closely followed by the Strain.

  I kept on driving up the slope, narrowly avoiding snowball after snowball. Ugh... This is stressful. If I even get hit once, I’m toast.

  I finally made it to the top of the slope and found a downhill path. It wasn’t very steep, so I just kept sliding down while making mostly ineffective brakes now and then.

  At the bottom, the road returned to normal... Well, it was still frozen. But normal enough.

  “And the Swan has blasted through the frozen hairpin curve! Now comes the hardest part of this section, the great snow maze!”

  I blinked in confusion at that final part and glanced toward my map. They did it... Those idiots really did it.

  The finish line of the snow track lay beyond a giant maze with snow-block walls. All I had to do was get through this last part and wave this icy hell goodbye.

  “The Swan already found a dead end in the maze, people! She’s taking a U-turn! This isn’t really very exciting to comment on! Actually, it’s a bit boring!”

  This part of the track definitely wasn’t exciting, but it made sense. It could eat up a lot of time if you went the wrong way. There was a classic maze-navigating method involving leaving things behind as markers, but I didn’t really have time for that.

  I followed after the Felsen into the depths of the maze.

  I immediately came to a T-junction. The Felsen had turned right, so I opted for the left.

  I came to a four-way junction a bit later on, and I took a left there as well. After driving for a while, a massive white wall appeared in front of me. It was a dead end.

  The road was, thankfully, wide enough for me to make a solid U-turn. I turned back toward the four-way junction, but ended up forgetting which way I’d come from in the first place. There were tire tracks on the ground, but multiple people had driven through so I couldn’t accurately track mine.

  “Oh! The Red Cat finally entered the maze, now everyone’s inside! Who’s gonna be the first one to make it out?! Stay tuned, folks!”

  I looked up in the air and saw one of my summoned Valkyries holding a mass-produced smartphone in her hands. She was filming us for the viewers. All I had to do was synchronize my sight with hers, and I could have won the race in no time at all... But that would have been kind of scummy.

  Still... with magic forbidden and Paula’s map obviously lacking any maze details, I didn’t know what to do... Suddenly, I glanced at Paula. She glanced back. I looked upward.

  Paula... She’s a stuffed animal. She’s light. That means I can...

  Yeah, this’ll work... Paula tried to scramble away as she realized my plan, but it was too late. I had a hold of her.

  “Relax, it’ll only take a little bit. I promise you’ll be safe, I won’t let you land on the ground.”

  Paula shook her head violently in protest. I ignored her (imagined) screams, and hurled her straight up into the air with all the force my body could muster.

  “BE SURE TO GET A GOOD LOOK!”

  Paula flew up way past the snow walls, paused for a brief moment in the air, then came plummeting back down. I caught her without any problems.

  “So? Did you see a way out?”

  Paula nonverbally grumbled and sulked for a while, before eventually pointing her arm straight ahead.

  Thank you, my lovely little navigator. Now, let’s roll.

  I kept driving Brunhild through the maze, relying on my pocket PaulaNav whenever we came to a junction. All I ended up doing was throwing her up into the air, but it worked great.

  Paula certainly had an incredible m
emory. She was never in the sky for long, but she always knew the right way.

  Leen had actually told me that Paula had begun doing things or moving in ways she had never programmed her to.

  It was possible that, since Leen was a beneficiary of my divinity, it was also flowing into Paula and giving her more autonomy.

  Still, for her to be leeching divinity from someone who was already leeching from me...? That would probably put her on the level of a spirit or something. I didn’t really think that was possible, though. I wasn’t even a fully-fledged god yet!

  After being thrown up and down a few more times, Paula gradually started moving a little more slowly, but she still dutifully continued to point out the right path.

  Just as I worried if she’d be able to keep it up, we reached the exit.

  Hell yeah!

  “Meow my goodness! The Brunhild is out, I repeat... The Brunhild is out! It’s making a beeline for the exit gate!”

  I was a little baffled that I was now somehow in first place, but I decided to focus on the path ahead instead of worrying.

  It was a little amusing, though. I hadn’t cared about winning at all, but the moment I took first place... I wanted to maintain that position.

  “Brunhild has cleared the snow track! It’s headed toward the final zone, the obstacle course!”

  Oh man... It feels real nice hearing that I’m number one, I can’t lie.

  As I carried on driving, the ice gradually vanished from the road. I’m in first, but I should probably step on the gas. I can widen the gap while they’re all back in the maze.

  I thought this was meant to be like an obstacle course or something. Where are the obstacles? I figured at the very least there’d be caltrops all over the place or something... Huh? I turned quickly and noticed something on the road ahead.

  What is that? Something drawn on the road? It’s a black background with a white symbol on it... Wait, is that a skull symbol?! It was too late. By the time I realized what I was looking at, Brunhild had driven over the black panel with a skull painted on it. I heard a distinct clicking sound ring out.