“What matters is that you’re happy about this. If you are comfortable with the idea of marrying him, and if you are happy about having a baby, it’s nobody else’s business what you do.” It seemed to me that a number of my friends had been facing familial difficulties lately. “When are you going to tell your parents?”
“After they get back from vacation. That will give me time to talk to Les first and settle matters.” She paused. “Speaking of marriage, Killian told me that he’s proposed to you.”
I froze. “Kind of. We talked about marriage, but I need more time. I need to be on my own for a while. I spent eighteen years in a marriage that should have ended before it started. I’m just starting to find out who I am again. You know how that goes.”
“Yes, though I spent far less time in my shambles of a marriage than you did. Do you think—” she paused. “Do you want to marry my brother?”
I paused, then gave her a half-shrug. “I love Killian very much. I think it’s likely we’ll reach that point, but I don’t want to jinx anything. When I stayed with him while the renovations were going on, we both discovered that we have very strong opinions about how the house should be. I don’t think your brother’s quite ready to get married yet, either, and that’s another reason why I want to wait. If we do, I want to be sure. It won’t hurt us to wait, especially since we do have an understanding that we’re headed in that direction.”
“Well, I hope you end up as my sister-in-law. I like you, January. And I think you’re good for my brother.”
We fell into an easy silence as I drove down Arnica Avenue. A steep street, with several S curves involved, Arnica led from the upper residential level of Moonshadow Bay to the lower shopping level.
In winter the street could be a bear, with ice sheeting over the roadway. Even the rain could send a car hydroplaning off the side into the ravine.
Ravines were endemic to the Pacific Northwest, deep gouges slashing through the land, filled with huckleberry bushes and brambles and waist-high ferns and stinging nettle. The trees grew thick in ravines as well, and the chasms were home to all sorts of wildlife.
As we drove into the town proper, city workers were finishing decorating for Yule and the Black Friday celebration. They were wrapping lampposts in garlands and lights, trimming the trees on the median strips that divided the street lanes. The town square shimmered with glittering boxes that could fit a person, life-size figurines of Santa’s elves, along with a life-size sleigh. The sleigh was hidden by a large tarp. On Black Friday, Santa would show up and kids could ask him for the toys they wanted.
I parked in one of the lots near the middle of the downtown area and Tally and I strolled through the town square. I hooked my elbow through hers, and gave her a warm smile. She was shorter than I was, and leaner by quite a bit. We crossed to the fountain and sat down on the outer edge, the massive tree behind us.
As we did, a tall man in a long camouflage coat approached. He was wearing a ski hat, and he had long straggly gray hair. His beard covered his neck and flowed down over the top of his chest. There was a distant look in his eyes, but he focused on me as he approached.
“Who’s that?” Tally asked.
“He’s known as the Gull Catcher. I think he’s a veteran, and he has PTSD pretty bad. He also has an affinity for seagulls, and they tend to follow him around. I don’t know much about him other than that.”
“Is he dangerous?” Tally pressed her lips together as he approached us.
The Gull Catcher stared at me, his gaze linking with mine. I felt like I could get lost in the gray of his eyes—it was like seafoam on a dark overcast day.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
He ducked his head, and then, in a low, throaty voice, he said, “You’ve met him, haven’t you? The demon who walks with crows.”
I blinked, unsure what he was talking about. “What demon?”
“He rides on the wind, surrounded by a flock of crows. He foretells the coming of the Queen of Nightmares.”
Right then I knew exactly who he was talking about. “You mean the Crow Man? I have met him, but he’s not a demon.”
“Oh yes, he is. He rides on the wind, and he belongs to the Mother of Crows.” He looked afraid now, as though I might strike him.
“You mean the Morrígan, don’t you?” And right then, I got a flash. Surrounding the Gull Catcher were misty shapes and I could make them out as spirits. Most of them looked like Asian women and children, though I couldn’t quite tell for sure. And at that moment I also realized that he was a seagull shifter, and with that gray beard and hair of his, he had to be far older than most humans.
“You saw her, didn’t you? On the battlefield.” I could read the fear in his eyes, and the hunger to talk about what he had seen.
His eyes flashed as he lowered his voice. “She was horrible. She rose up, dark and wrathful, seeking the dead among the carnage. There was blood everywhere, and the scent of fire and burnt flesh and burnt hair filled my lungs.”
“Were you injured?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yes. I was lying on the ground when she came to stand over me with her crows and her messenger. She leaned down and I thought she was going to eat my face. She had steel teeth, and eyes as black as pitch and yet she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She looked at me and said, ‘It’s not your time.’ Then she turned and, with her messenger, walked over to my best friend. He was twisted on the ground, with his arms three feet away from his torso. She touched the center of his forehead with her finger and sucked out his soul and carried him off. She’s the scourge of the battle, the scavenger of the dead.”
Tally took my hand, squeezing hard, and I could tell she was afraid. But I felt no fear as I looked into the Gull Catcher’s eyes. He was a broken man, and the carnage he had seen on the battlefield had burned itself into his memory. The spirits of the women and children and soldiers he had killed followed him, a chain behind him like Jacob Marley carried—only far darker, weighing him down.
“Do you need help?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I could do anything for him, but perhaps I could talk to the spirits and convince them to back off. There were so many of them—at least twenty or thirty—and they were attached themselves to him, link by link. They rooted him into the past, into the jungles of Vietnam. That was where he had attracted them, and that was where he had almost died. Yet the Morrígan helped him for some reason.
The Gull Catcher looked at me again, and for a moment his vision seemed to clear. “I’m beyond help,” he said. “But thank you anyway.” And then he turned and once again his eyes clouded over and he staggered off, waving his arms around his head.
“He’s trying to clear out the constant clamor of the ghosts who follow him everywhere,” I said, feeling both pity and yet understanding why they were connected to him. They too were living the torture of their death as time played out. Only when he finally died, I had the feeling they would be free.
“That poor man,” I said. I thought about trying to speak to the ghosts anyway, but Esmara was suddenly there, shaking her head.
Some people can live with what they do in life, and some can’t. He will never be able to reconcile himself with the soldier who gunned down the people he was ordered to. If he were to clear his mind for good, he would probably kill himself out of guilt. As it is, he lives in a world clouded with ghosts and fear, but it also makes him feel like he’s being properly punished.
Isn’t there anything anyone can do?
I wish there was. But war changes people. When you start killing strangers and then realize that you’ve simply destroyed people going about their daily lives, it will forever haunt you. But you’re right—they’ll be free when he dies, and he’s not ready to die yet.
My mood had shifted drastically, and I looked at Tally, who was waiting. I explained to her what had happened, and what Esmara had said.
Tally shook her head. “It’s horrible what the mind can do.”
“It’s
even worse what people can do. Yes, he was probably just following orders, but you still have to choose to follow those orders. I feel sorry for him, yet a lot of people died because he obeyed an order that should never have been given or carried out.”
“Why don’t we get something to eat? I know I’m not that hungry, but it might help lighten the mood.”
I stood, holding out my hand to pull her up. “Of course. That left me shaken. How he knew I had seen the Crow Man, I don’t know, but I suppose having been exposed to the Morrígan at such a vulnerable time made him highly aware of the Crow Man’s energy.”
“Who is the Crow Man?” Tally asked.
On our way over to a small corner restaurant called the Croissant Palace, I explained about the vision I had had a few months back. “The Crow Man is a spirit who acts as the Morrígan’s ambassador. I met him during a vision quest when I was contacting my patron goddess, Druantia. One fork in the road that I was following led to the Crow Man. He told me I was meant to go down the opposite fork, which led me to Druantia, and to the servant who is her spokesperson, I guess you would call it.”
As we headed into the Croissant Palace, the smell of baked goods calmed me down. I inhaled deeply, my stomach rumbling. Even though I wasn’t really hungry, the smell of fresh baked bread and cookies filled my lungs and all I could think about was how much I wanted to taste everything in sight. We dropped the discussion of the Gull Catcher as we found a booth in the back. I glanced out the window again. The Gull Catcher was nowhere in sight and for some reason, that made me feel better. I didn’t relish the idea of running into him again.
Chapter Sixteen
Tally and I settled into a booth in the corner, where we could see the activity outside and yet have a private space in which to talk. The Croissant Palace was more than a bakery. It had a full lunch menu as well. I motioned to a waitress and ordered a bowl of clam chowder. Tally ordered the same, and we asked for mugs of hot cocoa. The incident with the Gull Catcher Had left me too rattled for more caffeine at this point.
“How many people around here are like…him?” Tally asked.
“Oh, not too many. There are a lot of odd ducks in town, but he’s truly one of a kind. I’d rather run into the Gull Catcher, though, than some of the ghosts around here. There are spirits and creatures in the Mystic Wood that make him look normal.” I thought about Rebecca, the imp, and a number of the other creatures I had encountered in Moonshadow Bay.
The chowder was excellent, and even though I wasn’t very hungry, I found myself eating every bite of my lunch. We paid and then returned to the sidewalk.
Across the street in the town square, the high school band was practicing a marching maneuver. Friday would also offer the parade. Rather than hold a Thanksgiving parade that dragged people out of their homes, Moonshadow Bay’s parade took place early on Friday morning.
I was looking forward to it. In Seattle, Ellison had been dismissive of any holiday traditions like parades or get-togethers. He wasn’t interested in anything unless he thought it would advance his position in his social sphere. Whenever I suggested going to a tree lighting or a parade or even out for a drive to look at the decorations, he would laugh, pointing out that he didn’t partake in “small-town traditions.” At first I had fought back, then it seemed too much trouble and I had quietly given in.
“Where to now?” Tally asked.
“Maxwell’s. I just wanted to drop in downtown and take a look at how things were going.” At that point I realized that I really wouldn’t mind being involved in the town activities. My irritation at the Witches Guild vanished and I felt more than a little petty, and somewhat embarrassed. I decided that I would volunteer in the future.
Maxwell’s parking lot was more or less filled, but I kept looking.
“I’m still trying to figure out what to give Killian. He doesn’t wear jewelry, and if I get him clothes they would probably be the wrong style. I know he needs a new drill, but…that just seems… Has he said anything to you about what he wants?” I turned to Tally.
“Yeah, a drill isn’t very romantic.” She scratched her forehead and leaned back in the seat. “Actually, this morning he did mention something. I think you were out of the room at the time. He said that his leather jacket has a slash in it—he accidentally caught it on one of the fence wires. He needs a new one. I know what size he wears, if that’s something that you’d be interested in buying him. I know my brother, and he’s not going to go shopping on his own anytime soon. Not until his jacket ends up in tatters.”
A leather jacket would be perfect. I thought about it for a moment. They were stylish as well as functional and it was hard to go wrong.
“That sounds perfect,” I said. “What size does he take?”
“He wears a 42. I know he prefers black leather to brown. He also loves zippers,” Tally said. “I think that would be the perfect gift. I’ll get him the drill.”
“Maxwell’s should have both. It’s a fantastic department store and it has almost everything you could want.” I pulled into the nearest parking space that was open—it opened up as we were approaching it, actually. “Perfect! Carla the parking goddess strikes again.”
“What’s it like being a witch?” Tally asked as we walked toward the store.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, I guess… What’s it like, having powers that can make things happen?”
I tried to think of an answer, but finally said, “I could ask what it’s like to be able to shift into an animal, but would you be able to explain?”
“Good point. Which reminds me, Killian and I need to go for a run soon—in our wolf forms. That’s one thing you should know about being involved with a shifter, if you don’t already. When we don’t turn into our alt-forms often enough, it can result in some pretty unpleasant behavior and eventually, spontaneous shifting.”
That’s one thing I hadn’t known. “How often is enough?” The truth was, I hadn’t often seen Killian in his wolf form. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but he almost seemed shy about it. “And also, can I ask you something? Is transforming into your alt-shape a personal thing?”
Tally hesitated for a moment. “It depends on the shifter. And also, the Pack that you belong to. In the Rainier Wolf Pack we’re encouraged to shift around others to get them used to us so that we don’t seem so alien. But there are some Packs where it’s considered a private affair and asking to see someone in their alt-form can be an insult.” She glanced at me. “You’ve seen Killian in his wolf form, I assume?”
“Not as often as I’d like to. I wondered if he was uncomfortable with me being around. I felt awkward asking him, but it seems safe to ask you.”
“That’s because we’re both women. Women can talk over sensitive issues easier—at least I think we can. You should tell him you’d like to go walking with him when he’s in his alt-shape. I think maybe he’s worried you feel awkward around him when he’s in wolf form.”
“Why would I feel awkward? He’s a beautiful wolf. And I have to admit,” I said with a shy smile, “I love being able to pet him. Does that sound silly or like I am demeaning him?”
There were so many areas that could be fraught with misunderstandings depending on what kind of Otherkin a person was. It felt good to be able to talk directly about the subject.
“Not at all to either part of your question. Killian loves being in wolf form and for the woman he loves to see him as cuddly either way, well…I can’t imagine my brother being sensitive about that. To be honest, I’m fascinated by magic and witches. It seems so incredibly cool to have witchblood in your veins. It’s like you work in a different universe.”
I held out my hand. “Hey, let’s make an agreement that when we have questions like this, we feel free to ask each other. Since I’m dating Killian and you’re his sister, we’re bound to see a lot of each other over the coming years.”
Tally giggled, one of first giggles I had heard from her on this trip.
She wrapped her arm around my waist and hugged me tight. “I love having a sister. I always thought that my sister-in-law—legal or not—would be a wolf shifter but it’s so cool that you’re a witch. Now, which way to the power tools department?”
After Tally found the perfect new drill for Killian and had it gift wrapped, we headed to the men’s clothing department and I found a gorgeous leather jacket that I knew he would love. It had buckles and zippers and all sorts of hardware all over it, and the leather was supple and soft under my fingers. I also had it gift wrapped, and then we headed to the seasonal decorations department. I tried to resist adding more than I needed to the cart, but I ended up with icicle lights, and a lighted snowman, and an acrylic lighted bear that stood four feet high and about five feet long.
“Are you sure those will fit in your car?” Tally asked.
“Oh yeah, the Ocelot holds more than it looks like it will.”
After I made my purchases, we headed back to the car. By the time we stopped for pizza on the way home, the clouds had socked in heavily and the rain sheeted down, spattering against the windshield and bouncing off the asphalt.
Everything felt vibrant and alive, and I opened my window a crack so that the fresh air could pour through. I could feel thunder in the distance, that sense of ozone on wind, and it felt like the approaching storm was bringing something with it. Hoping we’d make it home before whatever it was appeared, I pushed on, carefully ascending Arnica Avenue.
After putting the gifts under the tree, I texted Killian that we were home with the pizza and that I had more decorations to go out in the yard. He texted that he’d be right over.
Shadow Web Page 15
