by Coralee June
But no. He didn’t. I got in her car, and we headed to the city. I told myself that I wasn’t disappointed for the lack of fanfare. Surprisingly, she brought up Joel quite a few times. “He sure was beat up. I can’t believe he got jumped! I brought him some dinner the other night…” she trailed off while eyeing me out of the corner of her eye. She was obviously trying to gauge if I was going to be mad that she was spending more time with him. “Joel is so sweet. He told me that he’d come over and keep me company while my parents were gone. Did you know he wants to go to California after graduation?”
Her rambling was annoying me. “Nicole?”
“Yeah?”
“Ask what you want to ask already; you don’t have to tiptoe around it.”
She swerved on the road, and I clutched the door handle, flashbacks barreling through me like a tidal wave. “Sorry,” she squeaked. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be so blunt.”
“You like Joel, yeah?” I asked.
“I mean, he’s nice. Totally not what my parents would want me dating but—”
“I didn’t ask if they approved or not. He’s not some guy you can use to make your parents angry so they’ll pay attention to you,” I spit out while eyeing the window. Sure enough, Hunter’s car was following behind us. Predictable little stalker. I didn’t want him lashing out at Nicole, but I was invigorated at the sight of him.
“Excuse me?” she stuttered.
“You heard me. Look, your parents are absent most of the time, and your rebellious shit works to bring them home. It sucks you have to go to such drastic measures, but I won’t let you use Joel for your Mommy and Daddy issues. He’s a tatted pothead that’s good in bed, but he’s actually a decent human, too.”
Behind us, Hunter’s electric blue Jeep was riding our ass, but Nicole was reeling too much from my statement to really pay attention.
“I don’t even know how to respond to this,” she murmured while exiting the highway. Hunter exited right behind us.
“Just answer my question,” I replied with a shrug as she pulled into the mall parking lot. “Do you like Joel? Not for any other bullshit reasons. Just him.”
The car came to a stop, and she unbuckled so she could turn and face me. Her jade eyes assessed, and she gnawed on her nails while thinking over my question. “I like him,” she whispered. “I think. But...I don’t want to upset you. Girl code trumps everything, and I won’t go for it if it makes you uncomfortable.”
I tried to assess how I was feeling but came up empty. There was a sense of fondness for Joel but no jealous lingering need for affection. He was just someone that made me feel desired. Someone to pass the time. I cared, but there wasn’t love. Love was just some abstract condition I couldn’t relate to. “I don’t care if you like Joel. I’m not the type of girl to get worked up about shit like that.”
She gave me a look like she didn’t believe me. “Riiiiight,” she said with an eye roll.
“I’m serious! I’m not interested in Joel anymore, and I want you to be happy.”
“You can’t be over him; it’s only been a couple of weeks. Not unless you took my advice and got under someone else,” she replied with a nudge of her elbow. I let out a huff of air, trying to come up with a way I could convince her I didn’t care when a stark knock on the window made me pause.
Motherfucker.
“Who the hell is that?” Nicole said while stretching her lips into a broad smile. “Oh my God, forget Joel…” I turned to look at our intruder, already knowing who it was before I’d even seen his face. There was only one man that was crass enough to knock on our window and hot enough to make any woman melt.
I smiled at Hunter, who was scowling and wearing tight jeans and a hoodie, his staple attire. Opening the door, I greeted him with a saucy grin. “Babe! I didn’t think you could make it.” My voice was loud enough for Nicole to hear, which was exactly my intention.
He looked quizzically at me, like he wasn’t sure what game I was playing with the ridiculous pet name. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I leaned in and inhaled his woodsy scent while Nicole gaped from inside the car. I then whispered my threat. “This is the only friend I have. You will not threaten her. You will play along, or I will jump in front of moving traffic.”
He went rigid. “I’m not doing anything. Why are you cutting class? You’re a fucking pain in my a—”
His hissed words were cut off with a shrill squeal. “Oh my goodness, hello!” Nicole shrieked while getting out of the car. She patted her hair and smoothed her sweater while all but drooling at Hunter. “I’m Nicole!” she circled her Prius then stretched out her hand to shake his. Naturally, the antisocial psychopath just stared at her French manicure for a moment. I could have throttled him for being so stunted. Finally, he turned on the charm and slipped on the mask he wore when out in public, the mask that disarmed the masses.
“Hey, I’m Hunter,” he replied in his honey voice.
“I didn’t realize Roe had invited anyone...how do you know one another?” Nicole asked.
I swooped in to take control of the conversation. I didn’t really want Hunter meeting Nicole, but since he followed us here, I’d do everything I could to keep her off his stalkerish trail. “Hunter and I have been seeing each other for a couple weeks. Apparently, he has a kink for girls in casts,” I joked while placing my uninjured palm against his chest. I felt his breathing stall for a moment beneath my touch.
“Oh my! How nice! Will you be shopping with us today? I wanted to skip class, and Roe was kind enough not to let me go alone,” Nicole practically purred.
He dug his fingers into my hips, pulling me flush with his body. “I don’t think so. I just had a break at work and wanted to check in. Would you mind giving us a moment?”
Hunter didn’t wait for Nicole to respond. He seized me by the neck with mock tenderness and lugged me toward his Jeep, his boots stomping the pavement with every step. To an oblivious onlooker, it probably looked like he couldn’t wait to get his dick in my mouth and just wanted me alone, but I knew the truth. I was about to get a scary lecture, and for some reason, I was excited for it.
“Take your time,” Nicole’s sultry voice called at my back, teasing us like she was in on some sort of dirty secret.
The moment we were at his Jeep, he banged my body against the driver’s side door and bound me there with his pelvis. I hadn’t completely healed from the accident, so the hard collision made me wince.
“Why are you skipping class?” he asked while gripping my hips. His fingers dug into me, like he could hurt the truth out of me.
I studied his question for a moment. I had lots of reasons for skipping class. I didn’t want to see Joel again. I had a math test I wasn’t prepared for. I wanted to see how far Hunter would go to track me down.
But of all the reasons, there was one that really stood out.
“Nicole is probably my only friend,” I replied timidly.
“And?” Hunter’s question was filled with annoyance.
“And sometimes she does reckless things to get her parents’ attention. I didn’t want her cutting class alone and ending up on the evening news. I feel a bit protective of her, and you more than anyone should understand that.”
Hunter froze but kept his body pressed firmly to mine. I watched as he dragged his index finger along my hard cast, staring at the damage done to my body with a sense of regret. “I don’t like you skipping class and going where I can’t see you. I also don’t like you going to crowded places without Mack or me present.”
His rules triggered old memories within me, and I felt the urge to rebel. I tried to be patient with this infuriating man, but I didn’t owe him my cooperation. I was a grown ass woman who was more than capable of taking care of myself. But he’d already made it clear that my boundaries were simply silent suggestions, so there would have to be a sense of cooperation with my puppet master if I wanted the pretense of a normal life, at least until I had a detailed plan and money to escap
e. “I’ll start using the phone you gave me so you can keep an eye on me,” I promised in a rush, though the words made me squirm. Agreeing to his terms felt a bit like giving up, and I didn’t want to be some helpless woman giving in to a dark, handsome man’s demands. I wanted to stand up for myself, but being strong meant knowing when to pick my battles.
He seemed to think over my words for a moment. It was short-lived, though, because he immediately started spitting out more demands. “I also want you to tell me if and when you’re going somewhere. I won’t have to invade your privacy as often if I don’t have to monitor.”
That was somewhat of a compromise. I liked the idea of not feeling observed all the time. Part of me wanted to tell him to fuck off, but the other part wanted to meekly obey his request. I was trying not to seem completely fucked in the head. “My…” I began. For some reason, I wanted to explain why my independence was so important to me. “My mom never let me leave the house. She homeschooled me. I didn’t go to parks. I spent more time in the emergency room than anywhere else. When she died, Mack eased me into freedom.”
Hunter’s eyes softened, and he nodded, encouraging me to continue. “I really value my independence. It’s been kind of a mind fuck to know you’ve been pulling the strings behind the scenes. I just...I can’t go back to that sort of control, Hunter.”
He chewed on his lip before responding. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I replied, and it looked like all the tension in the world drained from his broad shoulders. His crystal eyes softened to deep pools of relief, and his hard body leaned into mine without threat. I did not understand the burden he carried. I recognized that it disturbed him, but this pressure to protect me didn’t seem to come from a sick place. The pressure of my happiness and survival weighed him down, and I wanted to know why.
I glanced over his shoulder and saw Nicole watching us with a broad smirk on her face. She would definitely have questions about Hunter, and I wasn’t looking forward to answering them. I wrapped my good arm around Hunter’s neck, pulling him close. “What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m pretty glad you’re here. I was trying to convince Nicole I’m cool with her dating Joel. She doesn’t think I’ve moved on.”
He faltered for a moment, then a flash of determination crossed his features. He leaned impossibly close, resting his forehead against mine. I wasn’t expecting this response from the broody man, and I felt trapped against him yet somehow comforted too. My pulse had picked up at his nearness, and part of me hated the way my body responded to his hard body and sexy smirk. It seemed wrong to be drawn to someone that was obviously not good for me, but he had this captivating presence about him I couldn’t ignore. There was something between us that was potent and needy and protective. My fucked up brain didn’t worry about love or running. Raw chemistry and an unavoidable attraction simmered between us. It was impossible to fake.
“You want me to kiss you, Pretty Debt? You want to put on a show for your friend and let me feel you up against my Jeep?”
His sultry words made my lips part, but I couldn’t meet his gaze. The truth was, I did want that. I’d always been impulsive with my body. I’d always craved affection from people. The first ten years of my life were spent alone, and it warped my sense of self. I needed to touch, to feel others.
But it wasn’t right. In fact, it felt unbelievably wrong. I didn’t want to kiss my stalker, nor did I want to feed the roaring monster within me. Hunter was wrong and twisted up about a lot of things, but he was right about me feeling flattered by his obsession. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized he resented me. I couldn’t let my needs turn this into some complicated sexual conquest, no matter what the heat between my legs suggested.
“No,” I replied without meeting his gaze. “I don’t. This should be enough to convince her.”
My words were calm and steady. I didn’t sound desperate for affection or shaky from the feel of his body pressed against mine. I was proud of myself for not doing the self-destructive thing. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“You don’t want me to devour your mouth right now?” he prodded. “You don’t want to get off on feeling wanted?”
I shivered at his cruel words. I did want to feel wanted—just not from him. I didn’t want to encourage his obsession.
“I don’t want to be on the receiving end of your regret,” I admitted. My response was threaded with truth but barely skimmed the surface of my base needs in that moment.
Hunter placed his palm against my chest, stretching his fingers around my neck with threatening pressure that made me whimper. His lips brushed against mine slowly, yet so briefly it made me lean even closer to prolong the contact. “Don’t worry, Pretty Debt,” he began before lowering his mouth to the sensitive spot behind my ear. I looked up at the clouds above us, praying for relief as his hot breath caressed my skin. His teeth dragged sharply across my skin, then he pulled away and cupped my cheeks. “I don’t regret the things that mean nothing to me.”
And with those savage words, he pressed his lush lips to mine. I didn’t see fireworks, and there was no explosion of relief. It was like planting a seed and watering the beginning of a towering tree with deep, unmoving roots. I sighed into his mouth and hated myself for it. He moved like this kiss was my punishment. He nipped at my bottom lip. He sucked on my tongue and threaded his hands through my hair. The bite in the cold air struck at my heated skin, adding another sense of harshness to his kiss. I moved my hand to the waistband of his jeans and curled my fingers until they teased at his growing length.
He groaned out curses and forgiveness and hate. His guttural tone caressed my body in time to every stroke of his tongue. My body seemed to react on pure instinct. I widened my stance as we kissed, as if hoping he’d take his hand and cup my sex. He didn’t.
His hands were everywhere. His tongue like a snake. We moved like waves, his hard muscles flexing as his hand explored my hips, my stomach, and the spot right under my breasts. We were in a public parking lot with Nicole’s watchful eyes following everything we did, but the world seemed to waste away. I fed on his coffee taste.
We kissed.
And kissed.
And devoured.
And flicked.
And tasted.
And the hate died a bit. And the fascination grew. And my panties became coated with forbidden lust for a man that I should run from.
And every nerve ending in my body seemed to startle with want. I was getting off on his experienced desire. He knew how rough to explore. He knew where to stimulate. He knew exactly where would drive me fucking crazy without giving me what I wanted.
I cursed the cast on my arm, keeping me from using both hands to search the feel of his humming body. I ached to lift my leg and wrap it around his waist. I wanted to open the door to his car and lie down in the backseat. I wanted to feel the friction of our bad decision on my cunt.
But he pulled away.
And away.
And he got into his car.
And he turned it on.
And he left me standing there.
And the regret I didn’t want him to feel suddenly became my lust-filled anthem. My body felt cold and shocked senseless. One second I was debating the benefits of public sex, and the next he was peeling out of the parking lot. My heart seemed to sink as I pressed the tips of my fingers to my pulsing lips and gawked at the sight of his retreating tail lights.
“Fuck you, Hunter,” I whispered.
ROE
Bee Sting Kisses
Needle tongue. Whiskey breath.
Cinder hands and agonizing death.
You frown with your eyes and kiss with your fist.
Leaving me wishing. Lust dismissed.
Hammer heart. Bee sting pout.
Lovely lies and delicate doubt.
You walk with corruption and argue with venom.
Leaving me…momentum? Phantom? Random?
Fucking A. Fucking stupid poem. I was
trying to take the creative route of working through my anger, but it was just making me more frustrated. It had been six hours since Hunter left me in the mall parking lot with my lips parted in desire. He left without a word, trying to convince me that he wasn’t affected by the confusing make out session we shared. But I felt it. I felt his erection pressing against my stomach. I felt his nearly inaudible moan caressing my tongue. He was just as turned on as I was, so why stop?
There were a million and one things stacked against us. I knew it. He knew it. Hell, anyone with a basic understanding of right and wrong understood that kissing my stalker was probably the first sign of Stockholm syndrome. He was ten years older than me, and I didn’t really know where he stood on the creeper scale, but he was attractive. There was this undeniable connection between us buried in his mind and blossoming in my soul. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but that kiss felt like the most tragic, inevitable thing in my life, and I wanted to explore it more. I wasn’t bothered about a little PDA. I’m all for sexual freedom and empowerment, but I didn’t like the dismissive way he just dropped me like a hotcake on the asphalt.
I deserved better than that. I deserved better than everything this stupid man was doing to me. I deserved answers and freedom and a bit of trust. I hadn’t gone to the police, and I hadn’t tried running again. I was being cordial with Mack—for the most part. I was the best damn behaved captive this world had ever seen. Would it kill him to at least pretend some part of him cared about me? I’d seen the evidence of his affections in his deeply protective nature. A simple scratch sent him reeling. You didn’t protect what you didn’t care about, and I wanted to understand why he was so hell-bent on convincing me this was nothing—this meant nothing.
Was he ashamed of being a stalker? I couldn’t necessarily blame him. Peeping through the windows at unsuspecting toddlers had my pedophile warning bells shrieking. But I didn’t get that sort of disgusting vibe from him. In fact, nothing about our situation felt sexual up until yesterday. I think what started as a responsibility turned into lust, and he wasn’t sure how to handle that.
