“All of the above, I guess.”
“Well, the salad is great.” She took a second bite. “The view is nice.” She stared out the window for a moment before returning her eyes to Ember. “And the breakroom seems a little confusing to me. Is this part of the restaurant, an apartment for someone, or something else entirely?” she asked as she looked around.
“It’s a studio apartment technically,” Ember explained and sipped her beer. “No one lives here full-time, but I’m here the most. I moved the bed in here a few years ago when I moved into my place. It can be a pain to get to sometimes late at night, and I like to keep the fridge stocked too.” She motioned to the beer. “I stay here a few nights a week if I’m closing and especially during the winter when it’s cold, but it’s also storage for the restaurant. My mom wanted me to live here permanently, but I couldn’t. Something about living and working in the same building with my family just didn’t work for me. I needed my space.”
“I can understand that.”
“Yeah?”
“My family is in Iowa. I love them, but I moved away for a reason.”
“Iowa, huh?” Ember stabbed at her own salad.
“You grew up here, I take it?”
“In that building, actually.” Ember pointed across the street and a little to the left, at the three-story apartment building. “The second floor. My parents still live there. Zack and I grew up there.”
“Close.”
“Tell me about it.” Ember took another sip of her beer. “Tell me about Iowa.”
“Can we start somewhere else?” Eva laughed. “That’s a long story, and you’re only on a break.”
“That’s fine, Scout.”
“Did you read the first few chapters or something?” Eva asked as she smiled at the nickname.
“I finished the whole book,” Ember answered and returned her glance to the street.
“The whole book? I gave it to you like twenty-four hours ago. Didn’t you work last night?”
“I read fast,” Ember offered in reply, but Eva wondered if there was more behind that. “I liked it. I can see why it got you hooked.”
“It’s the book that gets everyone hooked in my profession.”
“Why do you do that?” Ember questioned.
“Do what?”
“Diminish your own experience.”
“How-”
“You keep saying that everyone got interested in something because of that book, but when you do that, you diminish your own experience. That seems wrong to me. Your experience is important. It’s special because it’s your own. You should share it and not feel normal because of it, but feel, I don’t know, empowered by it or something.”
Eva listened as Ember talked, but she mostly just focused on her hair, which was once again pulled back neatly. The color of it seemed to get lighter due to the light overhead. She moved her eyes to Ember’s and nearly fell into their depths as her words also hit her.
“I’ve never thought about it like that.”
“Tell me the story. Tell me about the feelings you had when you read it for the first time. Tell me how much it meant to you.”
“What will you tell me?” Eva chanced and took another bite of the salad she’d been enjoying.
“About the book?” Ember looked surprised.
“About anything,” Eva pressed.
Eva watched as Ember’s eyes darkened to a deeper shade of blue as her pupils dilated and she wondered if it was because of something she’d said. Ember seemed to notice she’d been caught and turned back to the window.
“You can have one question that I’ll answer about any topic. Deal?” Ember asked.
“Okay.” Eva paused and stared out of the window as well. “When I was a kid, I loved reading, but I grew up on a farm and had a big family.”
“How big is big?”
“Well, I have two older brothers and a younger sister. She’s a lot younger though. She’s only nineteen. My brothers are two and four years older than me. They’re both married and have kids. I have seven nieces and nephews, and they all run the farm with my dad. My sister is already engaged and will likely have at least two or three kids as soon as possible. Her soon-to-be husband has a farm of his own. She’ll go there with him once they’re married. It’s all very traditional and outdated if you ask me.”
“I agree.”
“My brothers had this tree house. They’d built it with my dad on the property, but by the time they were finished with it, they were both old enough to start working on the farm, so I benefitted from it. I used to sit up there, and I’d check out books from the school library and I’d read.” She paused and took a bite. She chewed for a moment while thinking about how to continue. “I guess I read To Kill a Mockingbird around the time my mom got sick.” She glanced in Ember’s direction. “She’s fine now,” she added. “She had some respiratory infection that made us all very nervous. It seemed to go on forever. She’s a stubborn woman and refused to go to the doctor until it got too bad and she ended up in the emergency room. Once she got on the medication and the therapies, it still took time to clear up, but I used to read to her when she was bored and lying in bed. I picked To Kill a Mockingbird as one of our books and we’d read, and then we’d talk about it when we wrapped up for the night. It was at a time when I felt very different from everyone else in my family.” She paused again. “I still do obviously, but it was the beginning of that. The fact that she and I were able to talk about something I liked that much was helpful and we got closer because of it. That book did more than just get me interested in American classics.”
“I guess so.” Ember watched Eva as she talked. “See what I mean?”
“About what?”
“That’s a good story and it’s completely different than anyone else’s. Your experience isn’t ordinary, Scout.” She winked at her again, and Eva was beginning to really enjoy those little winks.
“How long are you planning on calling me that?”
“Until I come up with a new nickname for you,” Ember replied and pushed her salad forward on the box in front of her. “Look at that guy,” she pointed outside to a young man walking next to a girl. They looked to be about high school age or maybe young college kids. “He’s totally into her,” Ember surmised.
“What?” Eva asked. “How can you tell that?”
“Look at him. He’s totally nervous, like he wants to ask her out or has a massive crush or something. Look! He just tripped.”
“Poor guy.” Eva pushed back her salad as well. “I feel his pain.”
“You’ve tripped over a girl before?”
“Both figuratively and literally,” Eva responded.
“Oh, there’s a story there.” Ember turned to face her, sitting Indian-style on the bed.
Eva kept her position with her legs hanging over the bed.
“No way. You owe me a story.”
“Oh yeah, damn it.” Ember hung her head. “Go ahead and ask. Fair is fair.”
Eva swallowed a long gulp of her beer and then turned to face Ember, matching her posture.
“You said you used to be like Kayla. What did you mean by that?”
“That’s an unexpected question,” Ember said. “I thought you’d ask something about growing up or about my favorite part of the book. You’re unpredictable there, Scout.”
“Sorry?” Eva said and felt her cheeks turn a bright shade of red.
“Don’t be. It’s nice.” Ember’s eyes softened. She inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I wasn’t exactly like Kayla. I never manipulated women into bed. I was kind of restless there for a while.” She paused. “Since I figured out I was gay really. I came out when I was in high school. My first girlfriend and I just kind of jumped into things and while the sex was pretty bad since neither of us had any experience, it was amazing to me back then, and when she and I broke up, I never looked back.” She met Eva’s accusatory stare. “I’ve never lied to a woman about my intentions, and they have to ha
ve the same intentions, or it goes nowhere.” She took in Eva’s softening eyes. “I kind of stopped that a few months ago.”
“Why?”
“Because Hailey, one of the sweetest girls in the world and one of my best friends, met Dr. DeWitt. It didn’t go well. It made me realize that Hailey’s done that over and over again. These women either lie to her upfront or they just disappear after she’s gone crazy over them.” She paused. “I hate seeing her go through that. I know I’m not doing the same thing, but it felt like I was, somehow, a part of it because I wasn’t getting invested in the women I was with. I thought about how I’d been avoiding real relationships for over a decade. It was time I thought about something else.” She glanced out the window again. “I got restless in a different way this time. I’m looking for something else in my life.”
“A relationship?” Eva asked and realized her voice had betrayed hopefulness.
“I don’t know. Maybe,” Ember replied. “I’m stuck. I’m managing a restaurant I’ve been working in my whole life. It’s the same thing every day, and it’s getting old. I don’t know what to do about it because I have a high school diploma, no work history outside of this building and if I even considered leaving, my parents would likely disown me.”
“I thought your brother owns his bar. Does he work here too?” Eva asked as Ember flopped backward onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
“Only when we’re desperate. Mostly, he stays over there, but he gets a pass because he did it first. I’m the only one left to take over the family business. If I don’t stay, we’d have to sell it or something. My cousin Mikey is the head chef, but he has no interest in running or owning the place. There’s no one else.”
Eva turned to face Ember.
“What would you do if you weren’t working here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Sure, you do,” Eva said, testing her. “If you’re this restless, you’ve been thinking about it for a while. What do you do when you’re not here?” She bit the inside of her mouth. “Other than pick up girls to sleep with.” She smirked.
“Hey!” Ember lightly slapped Eva’s thigh and then kept her hand there. Eva wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or if Ember even realized it was still there. “I told you I gave that up.”
“Sleeping with girls?” Eva teased and listened as Ember laughed.
“Uh, no. I like sleeping with girls. I’m just looking for quality over quantity these days.”
“Spill,” Eva said. “What would you do if you could do anything?”
“Actuarial sciences,” Ember answered.
“Really?”
“I like statistics and math. I’ve always been interested in that field for some reason.”
“You want to predict when people will die based on math?” Eva asked, sharing what she knew of the profession.
“What? No.” Ember sat up slightly and propped herself up on her elbows.
Eva looked at the white princess cut button-down she was wearing. The style of the shirt must be part of a uniform requirement. Ember had the top two buttons undone and as she leaned up, Eva tried to look away from the V and the dog tag chain she could just make out. She followed with her eyes to where she knew the dog tag was under the shirt, but then met Ember’s eyes again.
“Okay? What would you do then?” Eva asked.
“The way I see it, the future is uncertain and full of risk. Risk is the chance that an undesirable event will occur, but risk is also an opportunity. Actuaries evaluate the likelihood of future events using numbers and statistics. They design ways to reduce the likelihood of bad things, like life-altering events, which helps to decrease the impact of the events that do occur.” She paused, and Eva noticed the gleam in her eyes. “It’s pretty awesome.”
“I guess.” Eva laughed a little.
“To do it, you have to understand finance, microeconomics, macroeconomics, calculus, linear algebra, calculus-based probability and statistics, actuarial science, computer science, business topics like marketing, communications, speech, business writing and technical writing, literature, history, art, political science, the humanities, and other liberal arts.”
“I’m sorry. Did you just ramble off the entire course plan for an actuarial science major?” Eva laughed again.
“I guess I did,” Ember admitted and sat back up, removing her hand from Eva’s thigh in the process. “Sorry, I think I geeked out there for a minute.”
“It’s okay. You should do it.”
“Do what?”
“Become an actuary,” Eva said and gave Ember’s shoulder a light shove.
“I can’t. I haven’t taken any of those classes yet.”
“So?”
“So, I’m thirty years old. I work in a restaurant.”
“I know plenty of people who go to college long after their 18th birthday. I have a grad student who’s forty-five.” She paused and reached for her beer to take a long drink. “Had. I had a grad student,” she corrected.
“Hey, you’ll find something soon,” Ember said. “You’ll have more old grad students to teach.” She smiled at Eva.
“You should do it. You should apply to a program here. There are tons of schools in this city. You could go part-time. You could work if you want. I can make some calls for you. You could start in the summer if you want. I know a lot of-”
“Whoa! Eva, hold on.” Ember sat all the way up to face her. “I can’t just go to school.”
“If it’s a money thing, there are scholarships and-”
“Hold on!” Ember placed her hand on Eva’s shoulder and stared into her eyes. “I appreciate the encouragement, but I don’t know. I’d probably be terrible in school. It’s a four-year commitment. There are the exams to get certified if I decided to go to graduate school and-”
“And you know you want to do it.” Eva laughed. “You’ve clearly already thought about it.”
“Because I know the career trajectory?”
“What’s the square root of 5,656?” Eva tossed out a random number.
“75.206,” Ember rattled off then met Eva’s eyes again.
“And how fast did you read To Kill a Mockingbird?”
“Fast,” she replied with a frown.
“You are very, very smart, aren’t you?” Eva asked and placed her hand over Ember’s hand that was still sitting on her shoulder. “Why do you hide it?”
“I’m not that smart.”
“I work with a lot of smart people, Ember, or at least I did until recently. I recognize it when I see it. Have you ever been tested?”
Ember removed her hand and moved to stand.
“And this is why I hide it.” Her mood had changed. She grabbed the box of uneaten salad to toss it into the bag. “Are you finished? I should be getting back downstairs.”
“Ember, what did I say? I’m sorry.” Eva slid down the bed to hang her legs back over the edge.
“Nothing. You didn’t say anything. I have to get back to work.”
Eva closed the lid to the box of her salad and passed the box to Ember to toss into the bag.
“I really am sorry,” Eva said. “Ember, you’re crazy smart. I just-”
“I like math. That’s all. I study it on my own. That’s why I knew the answer.”
“You’re playing dumb with me now. Why?” she asked and stood.
“I’m not playing anything,” she replied and stopped for a moment to meet Eva’s eyes. She sighed. “I’m sorry. I do need to get back to work though.”
“Okay.” Eva didn’t believe her, but she also knew Ember was done talking about it. “I’ll go.” She took a few steps in the direction of the stairs. “I can’t help myself, you know?” she shrugged as Ember glanced her way. “I’m a teacher. It’s a part of who I am. I try to get people to recognize their potential. I’m sorry if I overstepped. You’re not my student. I don’t have any students.” She laughed at herself. “I had fun. Thank you for dinner.” She began walking down the stairs.
“Eva, wait.” Ember followed and stood at the top of the stairs. Eva was near the bottom already but stopped to turn around. “I’m off tomorrow until six since I’m closing. Do you want to do something? I promise I won’t freak out on you again.”
“I have to go to campus tomorrow to clean out my office, so I don’t think I’ll be much fun to be around.”
“I could come with you,” Ember offered. “Moral support?”
“I should probably-”
“I’ll let you talk to me about enrolling or something.” She held out her hands as if in defeat.
“You really should start letting me finish my sentences instead of interrupting me,” Eva said as she rolled her eyes. “I was going to say I should probably get there around ten since I know Kayla has a class. Well, it’s my class technically, and she’s teaching it. At least then I wouldn’t chance running into her. I need to be done by noon because I’m meeting some friends for lunch so if you can do that, then-”
“I can.”
“Really?” Eva asked.
“Sorry I interrupted,” Ember smirked. “Habit.”
“I can pick you up here if you’re staying here tonight. We can drive over. I’ll need my car to get everything out of there in one trip.”
“I’ll be at my apartment tonight. I can meet you at the school.”
“Okay.” Eva looked around trying to figure out what to do next. “I could text you the address.”
“You’d need my number for that.” Ember smirked again.
“Right.” Eva squinted and then thought of something. “My number is 773-555-4565. Text me and I’ll text you back.”
“I didn’t get-”
“Yes, you did.” Eva knew Ember’s brain had already memorized her number. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night at work.”
She made it out to the street and let out the nervous breath that she’d been holding in. She had rarely been as confident as she’d just been. Ember was a mystery. She was smart, funny and beautiful. Eva was taken with her, of that she was sure. They hadn’t talked about it being anything more than friendship. Since she had so few friends, she didn’t want to risk losing one.
Ember was also a self-described reformed player. Eva wasn’t someone who liked players or the games they played. It was why she’d been so upset about Kayla. She didn’t like women who just wanted to sleep around. She wanted the love she’d read about in so many amazing books, and plays, and heard about in songs, and saw in movies. She walked back to her car and made her way home. She tried to ignore the smile on her face as she fell into bed that night, grabbed another copy of the book that hooked her and pulled back the cover to take in the first words for the 100th time:
The Best Lines Page 6
