“So, Em, what are your plans for the day? You’re off, right?”
“I’m going to audit a couple of classes.”
Charlie nearly spat out her coffee.
“You’re what?”
“I looked into the class schedule for UC. There are a couple of classes I’m going to sit in on today.”
“Why?” Hailey asked a little dumbfounded.
“Because it could be fun.”
“What classes?” Charlie asked.
“Linear algebra, differential equations, and multivariable calculus,” Ember answered.
Both of their jaws dropped.
“I repeat. Why?” Hailey glanced over at Charlie to see if she was also as confused and she was.
“Sounded interesting,” Ember replied, but kept her response vague.
“It’s like halfway through a semester, isn’t it? You’re just going to audit a class that tough in the middle of the semester. You expect to learn something?”
“I hope so,” Ember shared. “I wanted to try something new.”
“Is this about the whole feeling stuck thing?” Charlie asked.
“A little.” Ember again kept it vague. She sipped her coffee. “Actually, I really should get going.” She looked at the time on her phone. “Class starts in an hour and I don’t want to be late.”
“Did I just enter the twilight zone?” Charlie said. “You used to tell Hails and me all the time to skip class, so that we could hang out.”
“Well, things change.” Ember stood and reached for her messenger bag.
“Oh, my God. Is that a bag for your books?” Hailey pointed.
“What is happening?” Charlie offered a laugh.
Ember placed the bag over her shoulder and tried her best not to take what they were saying seriously. They didn’t know this side of her, so they couldn’t know that their slight jabs were reminding her of every time her parents suggested she focus on running the front of the house or on helping carry-in the bread order instead of working on her expansion plans. They couldn’t know that their jokes were making her rethink this whole stupid idea.
“I’ll see you guys later.” She gave them one small wave and turned to go.
◆◆◆
Ember made her way from the train to the campus main entrance and proceeded toward the building she’d located on the online map prior to leaving her apartment. She was both nervous and excited as she entered the classroom along with other students who appeared to not be nervous at all. Of course, they weren’t nervous, this was just another day for them. The room was a semi-large lecture hall and it was nearly full. She took a seat in the very back row, so as to appear innocuous. She pulled out a notebook she wasn’t sure she’d actually use. The professor entered the room and began setting himself up for class. Ember sat back in her chair and started taking in her surroundings. Students sat chatting with other students, removing their own items from their bags and talking on their phones while waiting for the class to start.
“Can I sit here?” a girl asked Ember pointing to the seat next to her.
“Oh, sure,” Ember replied and moved her bag from the seat.
“I’m Liz.” The girl began shuffling through her bag for something.
“Ember.”
“Ember? That’s pretty,” Liz said and met Ember’s eyes.
“Thanks,” Ember stared back for a moment before remembering she wasn’t there to hit on or be hit on by some college girl.
“Are you ready for the mid-term?” Liz took out her notebook and placed a graphing calculator on top of it.
“I’m auditing the class today.” Ember returned her gaze to the professor who was about to begin.
“That’s cool. I thought I’d remember seeing you if you’d been here before.”
Ember recognized it. She’d been flirted with numerous times at Zack’s bar and at Windy’s. The college girls seemed to think she was either a graduate student or a TA and many of them felt no inhibition in their overt flirtations. Sometimes, they just went for it, all in. They’d ask her out, and Ember usually said yes because she never had a reason not to.
“I think it’s about to get started.” Ember pointed in the direction of the professor with her sharpened number two pencil.
“You really are here just to audit, aren’t you?” Liz laughed a little under her breath. “You have nice bone structure.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Your bone structure, it’s nice. It’s beautiful.” Liz moved her head around and her eyes darted from one part of Ember’s face to the other. “I’m an art major. Any chance you’d let me paint you?”
“You’re an art major taking multivariable calculus?” Ember asked.
“I’m a double major, technically. Accounting and art because my parents want me to have something to fall back on when art gets me nowhere. Those are my mother’s words. Anyway, it’s not a line. I really would like to paint you.” Ember lifted one eyebrow. “Okay. It was a line, but I take it you’re not interested. Girlfriend?”
“Not exactly, but I’m not interested. I don’t really think I want to be painted either. Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.” Liz turned her eyes toward the front. “Any chance you’ll audit again though? Maybe I can work on convincing you.”
“On being painted?”
“On all of it.” Liz winked at her.
The professor began. Ember rolled her eyes at herself more than at Liz. In the past, she would have flirted back, but she was intent on keeping herself away from her old self. She also knew that despite the fact that she and Eva were only friends, and even though she’d told herself it probably shouldn’t be more, she felt more. In the week since she’d seen Eva, she’d thought about her more times than she could count. Since their breakfast that previous Tuesday, Ember had been unable to find the time to get away from the bar or the restaurant or even her family. That previous Sunday, her mother had roped her into going dress shopping with Grace and Grace’s sister, Mercy.
Ember had only been able to send a few texts to Eva and Eva had replied that she’d been busy as well. She’d been interviewing for a few more summer positions and working on an article. They’d had one phone conversation that previous Tuesday afternoon when Eva shared that UC was offering a seminar in actuarial science. Ember had laughed at first, until Eva said she should check out one of the lectures. If she hated it, she hated it, but the lecture was every Thursday morning starting next week. Ember agreed to go, but only if Eva would go with her. She joked that if the lecture was boring, they could leave together and grab brunch.
That conversation was what had Ember sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture on math. They’d go to the lecture next week, but she wanted to look more into the world of universities. She wanted to see if she’d feel comfortable in a place like this. What she found was that, surprisingly, she felt right at home. She felt herself scribbling before she realized she was writing in her notebook.
“If we simplify our solution here, what do we get?” The professor turned from the whiteboard toward the class.
“48x − 14y – z = 64,” Ember said it out loud, but to herself.
Another student had raised their hand and had been called on to answer. “48x − 14y – z = 64.”
“Damn.” Liz glanced over at her with a smirk. “Just auditing, huh?”
Ember continued taking notes about the equation on the board. When the class ended, she was disappointed. It had only been fifty minutes. She had twenty minutes to make her way to the mechanical engineering building where she’d sit in on a class on linear algebra and differential equations. She rammed her notebook into her bag and didn’t even say goodbye to Liz before she headed out with her coat still unbuttoned. She took more notes in that class and was even more excited when it ended. Every problem had a solution. She’d found all of them before the professor had explained them. She remembered that there was another class of interest on the schedule and decided that she’d grab lunch
on the campus and head toward it.
By the end of the day, she had attended five classes. Two of them had been math; one had been on computer programming, but still rather interesting to Ember; one on physics and the last had been purely out of curiosity. She’d attended an American literature course on Hemingway. She’d never read anything of his before, but when she’d decided to audit the class, she’d stopped by the campus bookstore on the way and picked up a copy of The Old Man and the Sea and The Sun also Rises. She read them both before the lecture began, decided she might pick up some of the rest of his stuff and would try to read it all before seeing Eva.
◆◆◆
Ember spent every free moment of the next week working on random equations she’d find online and audited a few more classes when she didn’t have to be at work. While she enjoyed the content, the classes themselves were slow. Some of her original excitement had diminished. She knew the answers before the professor finished writing the equations. She groaned as she packed up her bag that day and thought about canceling on the lecture with Eva. But she’d received a text from Eva the night before while at work that said she was excited about it. As Ember smiled, she knew it was less about the lecture and more about seeing Eva.
CHAPTER 9
Eva arrived and met Ember just outside the building. “I brought coffee.”
“I love free coffee and beautiful women who deliver it.”
Eva blushed and hoped Ember would think it was because of the cold.
“How many women bring you coffee?” Eva teased.
“Well, if you count Hailey, Charlie and you, that would be three.”
“I’d like to meet Hailey and Charlie one day.”
“You should’ve come to coffee this morning then.” Ember motioned with her head toward the building.
“I wasn’t invited.” Eva nudged Ember’s shoulder with her own.
“No one is, technically,” Ember replied. “There’s a strict no girls allowed policy.”
“What?” Eva laughed as Ember held open the door for her, and they walked inside.
“No other girls. It’s just the three of us. Even if one of us is dating someone, our Thursday coffee sessions belong to us.”
Eva skirted right past the dating comment.
“It’s nice that you guys do that. I don’t really have a tradition or anything like that. Alyssa and Hannah are really my only friends here and they are a couple so…”
“They’re not your only friends here,” Ember said and opened the classroom door for both of them. “I’m your friend, Eva.”
“Still getting used to that.”
“Well, you better get used to it fast because we’re going on a wedding road trip in what, a week?”
Eva laughed and nodded.
“You still sure you want to go? You can back out. I can’t.”
“Of course, I still want to go.” Ember motioned for them to sit at the back of the lecture room. Eva watched her remove her messenger bag from her shoulder, take off her coat, pull out a notebook and pen, and sit down next to her. “How else am I going to see this farm you grew up on? Oh, is the tree house still there?”
Eva laughed some more and placed her purse in her lap.
“Yes, I think so. I haven’t been back in a while, but it was there the last time I visited.”
“Does it have a no other girls policy as well?” Ember winked.
“It’s not really mine anymore so I can’t make that rule,” Eva responded and enjoyed the happiness that appeared in Ember’s eyes. “My sister took it over there for a while. She had boyfriends so…”
“Oh God!” Ember cringed. “Your sister had sex in your book cave?”
“Probably.”
“We should scrub it clean,” Ember nodded at her own idea. “And reclaim it.”
Eva laughed, but quietly because the lecturer had arrived and approached the podium.
“How do we do that?” she asked.
Ember turned toward the lecturer seemingly ready for the class to begin.
“We’ll figure it out,” she finally stated without looking in Eva’s direction.
Eva stared at Ember during the entirety of the lecture. Ember hadn’t looked in her direction once, but she knew it was because of how captivated she was with the topic and the discussion it generated. Eva was captivated by Ember’s bright blue eyes, wide smile, and the long lines of her neck that led down to her collarbone and then to the V between her breasts. Ember had worn another button-down shirt. This time it was navy and only worked to lighten her eyes even more. Eva cleared her throat and turned to face the lecturer.
“Are you ready?” Ember finally looked at her and began packing her stuff.
“Sorry, what?”
“You were bored to tears, weren’t you?” Ember laughed at Eva’s look of confusion.
“No, I wasn’t,” she replied honestly. “I just don’t know what some of it meant.”
“Which part?” Ember stood and buttoned her coat.
She reached for Eva’s and helped her with it. Eva tried not to react to the small touches of Ember’s hands against her shoulders as she smoothed her coat.
“Most of it,” Eva said honestly. “I didn’t understand most of it. Did you understand it?”
“I did, yeah,” Ember nodded, and they walked toward the back door.
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes, it was cool.”
There was that word again, Eva thought. Cool.
“I’m glad.” She smiled as they made their way out of the building. “Do you think you’ll come next week?”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” Ember began. “I have half-case inventory once a month on Thursdays after I have coffee with Charlie and Hailey. It usually takes most of the day and then I have my actual shift.”
“Could you postpone it for an hour or two, so you could come here?”
“I shouldn’t since I took the weekend off for the wedding.”
“Ember, you don’t have to come with me. This stuff is more important than that. You loved it in there, didn’t you?”
Ember seemed to think hard about how best to respond.
“I liked learning, yes, but I want to go to the wedding with you. I’ve been looking forward to it.” She started, “I mean, I’ve been looking forward to the time off from work and the whole tree house thing.” She looked in Eva’s direction and Eva understood.
“Well, I guess missing one lecture won’t hurt. Just as long as you attend the one after that.”
“Spoken like a teacher,” Ember replied.
“Oh, I have to go,” Eva suddenly remembered. “Jesus. I completely forgot for a minute. I have an interview. I have to get home.”
“You’re going home for an interview?” Ember appeared confused.
“It’s a Skype interview.”
“That’s a thing?”
“When the position is in North Dakota it is,” Eva replied as they walked in the direction of her car.
“North Dakota?” Ember stopped walking. “You’re leaving Chicago?”
“It’s just an interview,” Eva explained. “A colleague in the lit department at Northwestern did me a favor. North Dakota State has an opening next year.”
“But it’s North Dakota.”
“I don’t know if I’d take it if they offered it. I have to interview anywhere I can right now. If you want to get on the tenure track, you have to go where the positions are,” Eva finished her explanation and unlocked her car. “Do you want a ride to your place?”
“I’m good with the train.”
“Do you have a thing against cars. We’ll be taking this one on a long trip in a week?” Eva chuckled.
Ember looked less excited than she had only moments earlier.
“Chicago girl born and raised, I guess. I like the El.”
“Are you sure?” Eva meant that question to be about more than just the train.
“I’m sure. Thanks for coming with me today. Good luck with you
r interview.” Ember began walking backward.
“Will I see you before next Friday?”
“I’ll be working a lot this week. So, we shouldn’t plan on anything. I’ll be at your place on Friday. Is that good?”
“I’ll pick you up at your place since we’re driving.”
“Oh, right.” Ember seemed a little lost, which was a new experience for Eva. “See you then.”
Eva’s interview went well. The dean seemed to enjoy her take on Fitzgerald’s work, and he wanted her to virtually meet the head of the English department. Then he might have Eva interview with other members of the faculty or go to North Dakota in person. He said he’d be in touch and while Eva was incredibly pleased with how the interview had gone and felt good about her chances, there was something about it that felt off. She didn’t want to leave Chicago. She knew it was a possibility, but she wanted to hold off on making that difficult decision for a while longer.
She spent her time that week working on two different articles simultaneously, only stopping to sleep, eat, and search for job openings in the city. She found a couple more promising positions, but one would require her to permanently change her focus to a specific author. She had lunch with Alyssa and Hannah. When Thursday morning came around, Eva decided she’d do something nice for Ember, knowing that she had to work extra hard the whole week just to get a few weekend days off for the wedding.
She made her way to campus and found a seat in the next lecture of the series. She’d brought her recorder with her and pressed record when the lecturer began. She knew Ember loved podcasts and thought she’d give her the recorder later to listen to the lecture since she couldn’t attend. About twenty minutes into the lecture, Eva started checking email on her phone.
She looked up at one point and she recognized the ash-colored hair and back of the head it belonged too. Ember was sitting about five rows in front of her and off to her left. She appeared to be engaged in the lecture. Eva realized she’d either been lied to, or Ember had been able to get off work after all and hadn’t bothered to share that with her. Either way, Ember had the right to attend whatever lectures she wanted to and not tell Eva about any of them. They were friends. They were new friends. She still felt slightly betrayed.
The Best Lines Page 10
