“Oh yeah, she told me the whole thing about asking you not to be a couple tonight, but I don’t care. If you two are together, be together. Mom just overreacts.”
“What about what people might say?”
“About you being gay?”
“I think she and I dancing together might give something away.”
“They can go screw themselves or they can leave.” Anna shrugged. “You’re my sister, Eva. I love you. I don’t care who you date as long as they make you happy. Ember seems nice. She obviously likes you. Plus, you have good taste. She’s pretty hot.”
Eva laughed very hard at that. This was her baby sister who was now married talking to her about the hot woman she’d brought to her wedding.
“She is, yeah.”
“So, you guys are a couple, right?”
“I don’t know. We were just friends, but we’ve kissed and I like her.”
“You did more than kiss. I saw you two this morning.”
“We just slept.”
“Whatever you say.” Anna looked off to the side. “I’ve got to thank people for coming before dinner starts. Do whatever you want. I’m cool with it, honestly.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” Anna was off to the next group of people.
Eva made her way over to where Ember and her niece were still talking.
“Hey, Daisy,” Eva greeted her niece.
“Aunt Eva, this is Ember,” Daisy introduced Ember to her and Ember and Eva both smiled.
“I know. Ember came here with me.”
“I brought my card game. Can we play?” she asked Ember.
“Card game?”
“It’s on my mom’s phone.”
“Of course, it is,” Eva said and then sat down in the empty chair next to Daisy. “Daisy, why don’t you go play with Nathan?”
“Nathan is mean to me.” Daisy’s smile turned into a frown.
“Why?” Ember asked her.
“Because he’s a boy and he’s bigger than me.”
“You tell him if he gives you a hard time, he’ll have to answer to your aunt and to me, okay?”
“Okay.” Daisy replied, a frown still on her face.
“And Daisy, find me later. I’ll play that game with you.”
“Really?” Her smile was wide and eyes excited.
“Yes, really.”
Daisy ran off to find her cousin.
“You are good with kids,” Eva told her.
“She’s cute.” Ember turned her focus back to Eva. “I saw you talking to your mom. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s good. I’ll fill you in later.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome to the floor for the first time, our newly married couple. Here’s Mr. and Mrs. John Whitaker.” Everyone applauded and then watched as Anna and John took to the dance floor for their first dance as a married couple. Eva kept her eyes on Anna and John for a few moments until she felt eyes on her. She saw Ember looking at her instead of the married couple. “And if there are any couples that would like to come up and join them, now’s the time,” the lead singer of the band said.
Eva and Ember continued in their apparent staring contest until Eva took Ember’s hand and stood.
“Eva, what-”
“It’s okay.” She pulled Ember to her feet, onto the improvised dance floor, pulled her into her and placed her hands around Ember’s waist, which meant Ember had to place her arms around Eva’s neck.
“People are-”
“I got the okay from Anna.”
“To dance with me?”
“My mom said it was okay too.”
“You asked them for this?” Ember tilted her head to the side in disbelief.
“They offered it before I got the chance.” She tugged a little on Ember’s back to pull her in closer. “It’s okay.”
There were definitely eyes on them as Ember’s chin went to Eva’s shoulder, but Eva didn’t notice them because to her, Ember was the only person in the room.
CHAPTER 14
“I want to see you this week.” Ember gripped Eva’s waist as they stood outside her apartment building on Sunday afternoon. “Not at a lecture either.”
“Well, if not at a lecture, then where?”
“Dinner,” Ember told her. “You and me on an actual date.”
“That’s the what, Em. That’s not the where.”
“Here.” She pointed up toward her apartment. “I’ll cook for you. I’m thinking sooner rather than later.” She pulled Eva closer to her. “How about tomorrow night?”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“Mondays are usually slow. I can ask my parents to cover. They should be fine.”
“Are you sure? You just took the whole weekend off.”
“I’ll still do Zack’s payroll and I’ll check in there.”
“Okay.” Eva smiled and then gently pecked Ember’s lips. “What should I bring?”
“Just you,” Ember replied. Eva glared at her. “Oh, right. Little Miss Polite, I forgot. Bring wine.”
“Thank you.” Eva kissed her a little longer this time. “Now, go. You have another dinner to get too.”
“Text me when you’re home, okay?”
“I will.” Eva moved around to the driver’s side and climbed into her car.
◆◆◆
“So, how was your weekend off?” Francine asked Ember as they sat down at the table.
“It was great.”
“You went to a friend’s wedding?” Grace asked. “Did you steal any good ideas we can borrow?” She nodded toward Zack.
“It was in a barn. Not really your thing,” Ember replied. “I’m only going to come in for a couple of hours tomorrow, okay?” she asked her mother.
“Why?” her father asked.
“I’m meeting Eva for dinner.”
“Bring her to the restaurant. You can take a break and have dinner there,” her father suggested.
“Dad, I don’t want to bring her to the restaurant. I want to-”
“It’s a date.” Zack looked at his sister with wide eyes.
“Yes, it’s a date. I’m cooking dinner for her tomorrow night. I don’t want to bring her to the restaurant.”
“You’ve been taking a lot of time off recently,” Her dad started to say and then took a bite of his steak. “You used to come into the restaurant more, but you’ve been distracted. Is this girl the reason?”
“Jack…” Francine tried.
“I’m just curious about what our daughter has been doing with her time these days. Running a restaurant is a full-time job. She should be spending more time there the closer we get to retirement, not less.”
Ember sat silently and looked down at her full plate.
“Dad, she met someone. Give her a break,” Zack tried to help.
“She has family responsibilities, Zack. She’s supposed to be managing the-”
“Front of the house?” Ember finally lifted her head and interrupted him. “I know, dad. I’m supposed to manage the front of the house. Pretty faces out front, right?”
“Ember, calm-”
“No, mom. I won’t calm down.” She shook her head. “I sit here week after week, month after month and now year after year and you ignore me. You pretend like I’m not here. It’s been about Zack and only Zack for my entire life; and Zack, that’s not your fault. You’re a great brother, and I love you and Grace, I’m sorry you have to hear this, but dad, I am tired.” She exhaled. “I am tired of all of it. You only want me to run the restaurant because Zack has his own place to worry about, Mikey refused and I’m the only one left. You don’t let me help mom with the books even though I am better at them and much faster.” She looked at her mother. “Sorry, mom.” She looked back at her father. “I have pushed so many parts of myself away so you wouldn’t have to deal with them, because you can’t for some reason, but I can’t do that anymore.” She stood up. “I asked you for chances to expand the restaurant, to contri
bute something more, but you said no every time. I can’t keep feeling like I’m living the definition of insanity.” She stared down at the table again. “Do you know how many books I read yesterday?”
“What?” Jack asked. “What does that have anything to do with anything, November?”
“I read thirty-seven books yesterday and some of them twice. I can do that. I can pick up a book, read it and understand all of it in a few minutes. I can take a class in multivariable calculus and know the answers before the students, who have been studying the topic for years. I can fix a carburetor on an old Buick because I saw a picture and some instructions, and you won’t let me escape the front of the restaurant.”
“Ember, let’s sit down and talk calmly about this. I’m sure we can make some changes, honey. If doing our books is that important to you, I’m happy to have you do them,” Francine suggested. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do them so badly.”
“Mom, I love you, but that’s not the point. I am smart, dad. I am very smart. I want more.” She stepped away from the table. “And I’m gay, dad. I’m gay. That’s not going to change because you ignore it. I want to go on a date with Eva tomorrow night because I like her. I like her a lot. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, kind and a million other things that I like about her, but I don’t want to bring her by the restaurant and have dinner with her because you’ll just scowl at us when you walk by. You’ve never accepted me.” She started to leave. “Mom, I’m sorry for disrupting dinner.”
She left them sitting at the table in relative shock, and headed back toward her apartment to spend the rest of the night alone, wondering what kind of damage she’d just done.
CHAPTER 15
Eva reviewed the paperwork from NDSU. Her mental math had her leaning toward the job. The cost of living was significantly lower than Chicago, and her pay would be relatively the same, which meant she’d be bringing in more monthly. The main problem with NDSU was the fact that it was in North Dakota. She had nothing against North Dakota. It just wasn’t Chicago. It was also further from home, and she’d just made the decision to go home more. More importantly, it was further away from Ember.
She knew she couldn’t make a professional decision based on a woman. It would be irresponsible, especially if she had no good offer before the start of the fall semester. She’d just be a bum who couldn’t afford her rent, so she’d have to crash in a donated apartment above her girlfriend’s family’s restaurant. Ember’s parents would probably judge her for not being able to get a job.
Girlfriend. She’d just thought back to their ride home and how she wanted to bring up what they were to one another. She knew Ember hadn’t been a relationship kind of woman before they met, but she’d seemed more interested in the idea recently. Eva hadn’t brought it up because Ember hadn’t brought it up, which was cowardly, and she knew it. She also knew that a relationship didn’t have to happen just because you kiss someone at a wedding, share the best dance of your life, and fall asleep next to them while feeling their chest rise and fall beneath your cheek. She knew all these things. She thought about the job again and realized that if she had to take something outside of Chicago, they might not have time. It was halfway through March. She was committed to her summer classes in the city until late August. That would give them about five months.
“Perfect,” she said to herself in the shower as she let the hot water coat her skin and erase the sweat from her run. “That’s just enough time to get involved, fall in love, and then move away.”
◆◆◆
Ember got to the restaurant to open and noticed her father was absent. She made her way to the back office to find her mom sitting at the desk, working with receipts.
“Hey, mom,” she greeted her hesitantly.
“Hi, honey.” She turned to see her daughter standing in the doorway.
“Where’s dad?”
“He’ll be here later.”
“Is he watching through the front window at home to see when I leave for my date?” She crossed her arms.
“He’s doing no such thing, November.” She turned back to her computer. “You two are so similar sometimes. So, dramatic.”
“Dramatic?” Ember asked and moved into the office.
“You have a blow up at dinner, and he decides to avoid you tonight.”
“Is that what you’re calling it?”
“Ember, we’re not perfect parents,” she began. “I know that and so does your father, but we do the best we can. I told you if you want to take over the books, you are more than welcome. I am happy to take a step back. I told your father that last night.”
“It’s not just about doing the books for the restaurant, mom.”
“Well, that’s a start, isn’t it? It’s a start, Ember. That’s what we do. We make mistakes. We realize them too late, and then we have to start over.”
“Mom, I love you. You know that, right?” Ember asked softly. “And I love him too. I just don’t know what I want. I used to think that if he gave me a chance, it would make me happy. I’d put my own stamp on something and I would be happy.”
“But you don’t want to take over the restaurant now? I understand that, Ember.”
“I didn’t say that, mom,” she retorted. “I’m saying I don’t know what I want to do, but I do know that I can’t just be the face of the restaurant when I want more and dad’s not willing to give it to me.”
“You never told us when you were younger, you know?” Francine rested her pencil on the desk.
“Told you what?”
“That you felt like we ignored you. That we spent too much time on Zack. You never said anything. You never did well in school, Ember. Why would we think you wanted more of it or that you wanted something else?”
“I was a kid, mom.” Ember returned to the doorway. “I shouldn’t have to tell my parents to spend time with me or to encourage me. Do you know when I first figured out that I was different from the other kids?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I was four. I was sitting over there, on that little stool you guys used to set up for me by the prep table, when you and grandma would work.”
“I remember.”
“You were making a new recipe. You were trying to figure out how much flour to add since you were making four batches. I knew the answer. I was four years old. Then I was watching Benny. Remember Benny, the dishwasher? I turned around when the machine started making that weird noise. He opened it and it was old and really needed to be replaced. I sat there and watched dad try to figure out what was wrong. I could see it.”
“See what?” Francine’s tone had mellowed.
“I could see all the pieces and how they fit together in my mind. I could tell what was wrong.” She took a breath. “And when I told dad, he told me to sit still, so I wouldn’t hurt myself.”
“Oh, Ember.”
“It’s always been that way, mom. I’ve been trying to tell you guys for years. You never heard me. You never took the time to listen.” She turned to leave. “I’ll be out front, setting up.”
◆◆◆
Eva was standing outside Ember’s apartment building. She had taken the train and picked up a bottle of red on the way. She had no idea it if was a good bottle. She was told by the person at the liquor store that it was a good year for Merlot, whatever that means. She also bought a six-pack of her favorite beer in case the wine turned out to be no good.
“Are you joining me anytime soon?” Ember’s voice came from up above, and Eva lifted her head to see that she was looking down from her window.
“How’d you know I was down here?” Eva felt a cold, wet snowflake hit her eyelashes.
“Because I have magical time telling powers, remember?” she jested. “And you’re always on time.”
Eva shook her head and then heard the buzz of the downstairs door. She pulled it open and headed to the elevator. There was no lobby in the building, but she could see the familiar rows of mailboxes to her left and the three elevators to the right
. She pressed the button and the elevator arrived immediately. She hopped in and pressed the button to Ember’s floor and the doors closed. She realized that she was nervous. She was more than nervous. She was anxious and nervous, which was a dangerous combination for her. Eva became a klutz when those two things got together. The elevator door opened and before she could even take a step forward, she felt the wine bottle slipping out of the space between her body and arm where she’d been holding it and nearly dropped the beer to grab it.
“Whoa!” Ember’s hand was on the wine bottle, grasping it tightly so Eva could focus on the beer. “You okay there?”
Eva laughed at herself and then saw that Ember was dressed in an adorable black and white striped apron with a black scoop neck t-shirt under it and some light blue jeans. She was shoeless but was wearing plain white socks.
“Thanks,” Eva answered.
“You look nice.” Ember looked her up and down.
Eva had chosen to wear jeans as well, but dark ones with a dark gray, short-sleeve shirt that she’d always thought went great with her eyes. She completed the look with some black ballet flats.
“So, do you. Thanks for the save.” Eva pointed at the wine bottle Ember now held.
“Come on in. I was just starting to cook. I may have stayed at the restaurant a little later than I’d planned. I hope you don’t mind not eating right away.” Ember began walking toward the apartment.
“No, that’s good,” Eva nearly stuttered. “I mean, that’s okay. I’m good.” She managed to get out of the elevator.
Ember turned and gave her a confused expression.
“Okay. I’m making chicken parmesan. Is that okay? It’s the Italian in me. I can’t escape it,” she joked.
“I like chicken,” Eva replied as she stood in front of Ember’s door and Ember pushed it the rest of the way open.
“What is going on with you?” She laughed.
“What do you mean?” Eva heard the door close behind her and then felt Ember’s hand on the pack of beer, which she took from her and placed on the floor.
“You’re acting weird.” Ember’s hands wrapped around her from behind.
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