She will be back, he told himself even as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes into hours. She has to come back.
She couldn’t have left him except...except it seemed she had.
Lynette was gone.
His wife, a woman he’d married on little more than a whim, was gone, and instead of feeling nothing as he should have, he felt...distraught.
It was not an emotion Nathaniel was accustomed to.
“Nettie, are you in here? I just spoke to Temperance and - oh. It’s you.” Stopping in the doorway, Delilah pulled self-consciously at the collar of her nightgown and blinked at him, looking for all the world like a tiny owl with her halo of tangled blonde curls and oversized eyes. “I am sorry. I was looking for my sister. I will just-”
“Wait,” Nathaniel barked when she began to back out of the room and close the door. “Please,” he added softly when Delilah froze. “I would like to speak with you, if that is all right.”
Stepping back into the room, she closed the door quietly behind her. “I think it is.”
Her stockings were mismatched, Nathaniel noted with amusement. The odd trait seemed to fit her rather quirky personality, although he would be the first to admit he had not spent as much time with his sister-in-laws as he should have over the past few weeks. Truth be told, he hadn’t spent as much time with Lynette as he should have. Was that why she had left?
I want to know that you want me, she’d said, and he had thought the statement positively ridiculous at the time as it was clear how much he wanted her. Christ, hardly a moment went by when he didn’t want her. She consumed his every thought and even when he tried to focus on other things - his finances, a second hunting property he wished to purchase in Scotland, selecting a sire for his prized broodmare - all it took was the sound of her laughter or even the faintest whiff of her perfume and he was distracted beyond all reason, unable to focus on anyone - or anything - except for his wife.
She consumed his mind. Entranced his body. Captivated his soul.
And she thought he didn’t want her?
Hell, Nathaniel thought as he swept an agitated hand through his hair, he wanted her too much.
Falling in love with Lynette had never been part of the bargain, if only for the sole purpose of avoiding the pain of betrayal. Having suffered it once at the hands of his brother, he had been determined never to make himself vulnerable enough to suffer it again.
Now Lynette was gone and she’d taken his bleeding heart along with her.
Once more, someone he loved had betrayed him… and he was twice the fool for allowing it to happen a second time.
“You do not look at all like yourself,” Delilah decided as she studied him.
Nathaniel startled, having quite forgotten she was still in the room. “How so?”
“Well, for one thing you are rather pale and for another you seem very upset.” She blinked. “Is it because Lynette has left?”
The corners of his mouth tightened into a scowl. “How do you know she left?”
“Because Tempy told me,” she said easily, “and even if she hadn’t, why else would you still be in Lynette’s room? I know you sneak out before dawn every morning.”
“How do you know that?” he demanded. Hell, was nothing secret in this damn house?
“Because Annabel told me. I do not know why people think it necessary to tell me things, but they do.” Her shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug. “It makes her cry, you know.”
“Who?”
“Lynette, of course. When you leave her in the morning. It makes her very sad.”
As he imagined Lynette curled up on her bed all alone, tears soaking her pillow, Nathaniel’s throat grew uncomfortably tight. “I - I did not know that,” he said gruffly.
“No, I didn’t think you did.” She blinked again. “You love her very much, don’t you? I am still talking about Lynette, by the by.”
“I gathered that,” he said dryly.
“Well?” she asked. “Do you or do you not? Because if you do not, I think you should let her go.”
“And if I do?”
Her lower lip jutted out. “It is rather obvious, isn’t it? You go after her.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Through a torrent of tears that refused to stop falling, Lynette watched the countryside roll past, each tree and meadow taking her further and further away from the man she loved. How badly she wanted to ask the driver to turn around! And yet if she did, she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life. She needed this. She needed it more than words could possibly say.
All of her life Lynette had dutifully played the varying roles required of her. She’d been a daughter, a sister, a mother, and a wife. Through it all, she’d thought of those she loved first, and herself second. She’d thought about what they wanted. What they desired. What they needed. But never, never, had she considered what she needed. What she wanted. What she desired.
It was high time she put herself first, and even though she felt selfish for doing so, she also felt strangely… relieved.
Until she chose to return to Dunhill, the only person she had to worry about making happy was herself. And whether that happiness came with Nathaniel or without him, she was determined to find it.
No matter the cost.
As the carriage traveled on through the day and into the night, Lynette managed to sleep in fits and starts. Every time she awoke she found herself reaching for Nathaniel, until she blinked and remembered where she was… and what she had done.
By mid-afternoon the next day they reached London. As she stared at the dusty window at the familiar sights and sounds of the bustling city, Lynette had never felt more alone. With a heavy heart she descended from the carriage when it clattered to stop in the middle of the street and thanked the driver. He tipped his hat, wished her good luck, and set off again, leaving Lynette standing by herself on the sidewalk.
The leaves on the trees had changed color, she noticed as she opened the gate and walked slowly towards the front door, but everything else looked the same. After living at Dunhill where the windows sparkled and the gardens were immaculately tended and the roof did not sag as though it were going to buckle beneath a firm gust of wind, her parent’s townhouse looked pitifully small and embarrassingly shabby. Compared to the other homes lining the street it stuck out like a sore thumb, its disrepair even more obvious now that she’d been away for the past four weeks living, quite literally, in the lap of luxury.
Squaring her shoulders, Lynette unlocked the door and stepped inside. For a moment she was taken aback as she saw the empty foyer, until she remembered nearly everything had either been donated to the orphanage or was at Dunhill sitting in trunks still waiting to be unpacked. In hindsight, she really should have considered the lack of furniture before she’d decided to return…but her decision to leave had been an impulsive one, and the last thing on her mind had been where she would sleep.
Taking her time, she wandered from room to room, her gaze shifting from the floor to the walls as she imagined what had once been. After her parents died, she’d reacted in a similar matter. For days – even weeks – after their sudden death she’d come downstairs expecting to see her father in his study working on some invention or another and her mother in parlor with the newspaper open on her lap and cup of tea cooling on the window sill. She’d never liked hot tea, Lynette recalled with a fond smile. In the winter she would even go so far as to collect icicles from the windowsills outside and dip them into her tea to cool it.
The memory warmed Lynette’s heart as she made her way out to the back lawn. Long and rectangular, it boasted an old stone fountain that no longer worked and not much else. The wooden fence that wrapped around it was leaning precariously to the left and the grass brushed against Lynette’s knees as she took a slow turn away.
At least it wasn’t raining. In fact, there wasn’t a single cloud marring the clear blue sky. The air was crisp a cool breeze tugged at her bonnet. Untying the
silk laces underneath her chin, she slipped it off and shook out her hair. Pins flew into the grass as her coiffure dissolved, leaving an inky mass of dark curls trailing all the way down to the small of her back.
What to do now, she wondered as she made her back inside, careful to close and lock the door behind her. She wasn’t hungry, and nor was she particularly tired which was rather surprising given how little she’d slept over the past twenty-four hours.
Managing to find a book that had overlooked in her father’s old study, Lynette dragged one of the few remaining chairs in the parlor, made herself a cup of tea from a kettle that had been so old even the orphanage had not had any use for it, and curled up in the middle of the parlor to read just as the heavy afternoon sun began to sink low in the sky.
Lynette had always been a voracious reader, but between caring for her sisters, marrying Nathaniel, and adjusting to her new life at Dunhill she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had the time to simply sit and read without any interruptions. It was such a small pleasure, and one so easy to take for granted she didn’t realize how much she’d missed it until she found herself nearly halfway through the book.
Flipping through the page after page until her eyes ached, she looked up with a start to discover it was nearly dark and the sun had set. Shadows slithered across the floorboards, hungrily devouring the last few rays of natural light pouring in through the windows. Setting the book on the floor, Lynette stood up and stretched her aching shoulders. Now she was tired. Exhausted, really. So much so that she didn’t even mind the prospect of sleeping on the floor, at least for one night.
Treading up the stairs one step at a time, she walked quickly down the dark hallway, using memory to navigate her way to her bedroom instead of sight as the last bit of sunlight faded away completely and darkness took its place.
Stubbing her toe on the doorframe, she hissed out an annoyed breath and hobbled into her bedroom. Next time I run away, she vowed as she pulled the curtains from the windows and shook out the dust before piling them in a lumpy heap on the floor, I need to remember to bring candles.
Kicking out of her shoes one at a time, she debated on whether to take her dress off or leave it on. Ultimately deciding the buttons would be too much of a hassle to undo on her own, she laid down on top of the curtains, drawing her knees to her chest as a child would and pillowing her head atop a curled arm.
She closed her eyes...and within seconds was fast asleep.
Thump. Thump.
With a murmuring sigh, Lynette stirred but kept her lashes firmly closed. In the silvery moonlight beaming in through the uncovered windows they fanned across her cheeks like delicate spider webs, accentuating the purplish smudges under her eyes.
Thump. Thump.
Roused from her deep slumber at the invasive sound she stirred again and this time she woke. For a moment she was disoriented, even dizzy as she sat up too quickly and her head spun. Then she remembered where she was, what she was doing there, and why she’d come. Nathaniel. She’d left him. And she’d left her-
Thump. Thump. THUMP.
With a gasp of alarm, Lynette jumped to her feet and staggered for balance in the dark room. As her eyes adjusted, she instinctively backed away from the door until her hips pressed against the windowsill and she could retreat no further. Someone was coming up the stairs. The sound she had heard was that of footsteps.
And they were getting steadily louder.
Who? She thought wildly as her eyes darted left and then right, searching for an escape that did not exist. Who would come here in the middle of the night?
The only people who knew of her whereabouts were her sisters and Nathaniel. The footsteps were too heavy to belong to a woman, and she sincerely doubted Nathaniel would have come for her so quickly. What if it was a vagrant? Had she remembered to lock the front door? Suddenly she couldn’t remember.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
The footsteps were getting closer…and closer…
Lynette screamed when the bedroom door was shoved open. Screamed again when she saw the broad figure of a man silhouetted in the doorway. “Get out!” she cried. “I – I have a pistol and I will shoot you, so help me God I will!”
The threat was an empty one – even if she did have a pistol she wouldn’t have had the first idea about how to load it, let alone aim and shoot – but she prayed the shadowy intruder took her at her word and left.
“I am warning you one last time.” Though her knees were trembling, her voice didn’t waver. “And then I am going to fire on the count of three. One… Two…”
“Lynette wait. It is Nathaniel.”
Her eyes widened with disbelief even as she choked back a sob of terror. “N-Nathaniel?”
“Yes. Nathaniel.”
“Oh!” Without giving herself time to think of the consequences, she ran across the room and flung herself into his arms. He caught her with a tiny grunt of surprise and she felt his mouth curve in a smile against the side of her neck as he gathered her close.
“There now,” he said, patting her back. “I gave you quite a fright, didn’t I?”
“You certainly did!” Pressing her palms flat against his chest, she leaned back and looked up at his face. In the moonlit darkness she was able to make out the line of his jaw and nose and the whites of his eyes but not much else. “You nearly scared me half to death,” she accused. “What were you thinking, creeping up the stairs like a thief in the night?”
“I wanted to see you.” Cupping her chin, he skimmed his thumb across her cheek. “I am sorry to have woken you, but I could not let another second pass by without holding you in my arms. My dear, sweet, stunning Lynette. How I have missed you.” Still holding her chin in place, he lowered his mouth over hers and claimed her lips in a deep, bruising kiss that stole the very breath from her lungs.
Her head spinning with a myriad of emotions – surprise, uncertainty, happiness, doubt – Lynette surrendered herself to the kiss. But the moment he shoved his tongue between her teeth and began to paw at her breasts she knew something was wrong.
Stunning, she realized with mounting horror and revulsion. He called me stunning.
Nathaniel had never called her that before…but Adam had.
“No,” she gasped against his mouth. “Stop. Stop!”
He lifted his head, lips curling in a jeering smile as he smirked down at her. “Whatever is the matter, darling? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“You – you bastard. How dare you pretend to be him? You are not one tenth of the man my husband is!” With a sharp crack she brought her hand smashing down across the side of his face. The blow wasn’t very accurate, but it was strong enough to snap his head to the side.
Rubbing his cheek, Adam’s smirk turned into a nasty glower. “You are going to regret that,” he snarled as he made a swiping grab for her.
Fueled by adrenaline and fear, Lynette managed to duck under his arm and sprinted for the door. She made it through just as he turned, and his angry bellow chased her out into the hallway. Picking up her skirts, she darted left, heading for the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her. Unfortunately, Adam’s legs were longer and he caught just as she prepared to leap off the top step.
“Oh no you don’t,” he hissed in her ear as he wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her, kicking and screaming, back into the bedroom. “I have waited three years for this and you are not going to deny me. Not again, you little bitch.” He shoved her against the wall and covered her body with his own, pressing her painfully against the plaster as his hands closed around her delicate wrists like manacles clicking into place.
“Let me go,” Lynette sobbed as she felt the hot wave of his breath across the side of her face. “Please let me go. Do not do this.”
“Why the hell not?” Trapping her wrists in one hand, he fumbled with the snaps on his trousers with the other. “You let him touch you. You let him kiss you. You let him fuck you. What’s the difference?” Ignoring her crie
s of protests, he reclaimed her mouth with enough force to snap her head back.
Dazed, Lynette did the only thing she could think of…she bit down on Adam’s tongue with all the force she muster.
Blood spewed as he shouted in pain and jumped back. Swiping a hand across his mouth, he turned his head and spat on the floor. “You are going to regret that,” he promised ominously as he took a step towards her.
With nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, Lynette forced herself to hold her ground. No matter what he does, I will not beg, she told herself as she lifted her chin a notch and stared him down. I will think of Nathaniel. Only Nathaniel. Of his charming smile and sound of his voice and the gentleness of his touch. I will not beg. I will not beg. I will not-
An animalistic roar of unfiltered rage filled the bedroom a half second before Adam went flying to the side as though struck by some great invisible force. He hit the opposite wall and crumpled to the floor where he remained, knocked out cold.
“Lynette, are you alright? Did he hurt you? Lynette? Lynette, look at me.”
Dimly Lynette became aware of someone gently shaking her. With a gasp she jerked her gaze away from Adam’s still body and found herself staring into another pair of vivid green eyes… “Let me go!” she cried, twisting this way and that as she desperately fought for her freedom. “Let me go! Let me go!”
“Lynette stop, you are going to hurt yourself.” The grip on her shoulders intensified. “Stop. You are safe now. It’s me, Lynette. By God it’s me. Your husband.”
Squinting as though through a foggy mist, Lynette slowly came back to her senses. “Nathaniel?” she whispered. “Is it – is it truly you?”
As an answer he simply swept her up in his arms as he had all those weeks ago when they’d met for the very first time and nestled her against his warm, familiar chest. “My carriage is waiting outside.”
Lynette did not say a word as he carried her swiftly out the bedroom and down the stairs. It wasn’t until he kicked up the front door with one well aimed strike of his boot that she managed to speak. “Are – are you just going to leave him there?” she asked in a very small voice.
For the Love of Lynette Page 19
