by Jamie Pope
She walked outside to see that he had changed into shorts and a T-shirt. For a moment she wondered if she should head back inside and change her clothes, but he grabbed her hand and led her out onto one of the trails that snaked off from behind his house. It was gorgeous outside. Just a light breeze blowing through the trees. The extreme heat of the day was gone; the humidity had died down. For a little while she forgot about her problems and just listened to nature around her: the sound of the birds, insects, and the wind blowing through the trees. The stars had been brighter than from the other side of her window and she watched them and the moon as Cullen led her down the trail. She never once looked where she was going or asked him a question. She trusted him. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she had trusted him for a long time in a way she had never trusted anyone.
He made her feel safe.
She heard running water and she looked up to see a small waterfall coming from a rock formation that fed into a crystal-clear pool. The moon was so bright that it was almost as if there was a spotlight shining down on it.
“I come here when I can’t sleep sometimes,” Cullen said, his accent almost as soothing as the sound of the water. “There’s a lot of shitty things that happen in this world and it makes you wonder how God would let them happen, but then there are little pieces of perfect like this and it reminds you that even though there is bad, there is always good.” His hand reached up and stroked her cheek. “Please, don’t cry, Wyn.”
She hadn’t realized that she was, but she was emotional and his words were so beautiful. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“Because you’re hurt.”
She rolled her eyes. “I hate feeling sorry for myself. There are people who are worse off than I am.”
“But you want a mum and a dad who’ll love you like you need.”
She locked eyes with him. “Who loves you like you need?”
“Who says I need love?”
“I do. Everyone does.”
He tilted his head. “We weren’t talking about me. We were talking about you.”
“What if I want to talk about you? I’m supposed to be in love with you. I should know more.”
“I’m a dull man.” He grabbed her hand again and tugged her slightly closer. “Slip off your shoes. The water is nice. It’s feel like a warm bath.”
Wynter kicked off her sandals and sat on the edge of the little pool. Cullen was right; the water was bathlike. “How did you find this place?”
“It’s on our property. It was one of the things that sold me on the place.”
She looked back at him. He was still standing behind her. “Why am I sitting here by myself?”
“You’re a bit sassy today,” he said as he sat down beside her.
“Am I? Sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.”
“Don’t apologize. I feel like I’m seeing the real you and not the person you present to the world.”
“Do you think I’m not genuine?”
“Don’t go twisting my words.” He looked at her for a long moment. “You’re perfect, Wyn. From the way you lift a fork to the way you walk across a room. Never a misstep. Never a wrong choice. Never a thing you do without grace or class.”
Perfect? She almost laughed at the thought. Her entire life she had felt like a fumbling imposter and here was this man, telling her that she was perfect and it was hard for her to believe. “You see me in a way that no one ever has.”
“I look at you sometimes and wonder how you could manage to be so perfect all the time. It has to be exhausting.”
“I was raised thinking my parents had saved me from an orphanage in South Africa. That I was born as a crime during apartheid and that no one wanted me until my father came along and saved me. My mother used to tell me that I could never make him look bad. That everything I did or said was a reflection of him and my choices in life could affect his dreams. I felt a heavy guilt and this unbelievable pressure to always do the right thing. Not the right thing for me, or because I thought it was right, but the right thing for my parents. Now I don’t know what to do or think or how to behave.”
“There’s no one here to impress. No one here gives two shits about your father. You don’t have to watch what you say or how you act. You’re free here. Why be in such a rush to go back to a place where you have to wear a mask? It’s hard to take your mind off what you left behind, but enjoy your time here. Enjoy your freedom.”
“I’m not sure I know how. My whole life has been so structured. What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should stop asking others what they think you should do. What have you always wanted to do? Steal a car? Jump out of a plane? Take an exotic lover?”
“That last one sounds interesting. I’ll have to give it more thought, but there is one thing I’ve always wanted to do and now seems like the perfect time to do it.”
“What is it?”
“Skinny-dip.”
She heard him inhale sharply as she stood up, took off her cardigan and pulled her nightgown off over her head. She was nude beneath it and as soon as her skin felt the breeze, tingles broke out along her skin. Her nipples tightened. Cullen was looking at her. No, he was more than looking at her. He was staring with a mix of arousal and shock in his eyes.
She stepped into the water, trying not to be self-conscious. It had been a long time since she had been naked in front of anyone. It took a lot for her to reveal herself to someone, to be intimate, but with Cullen it was different. He knew her in a way no one did. He saw sides to her that she didn’t even see herself. Swimming naked wasn’t something she thought she would ever have the chance to do. It seemed too naughty, too decadent for the daughter of a wealthy, powerful man who was raised to be quiet and humble and sheltered. It was something she might not have done last week, but this week things were different. This week she was in paradise with a beautiful man. This week she could pretend she wasn’t the Wyn who always played it safe, who always did what she was told.
“This water feels so good,” she moaned and she submerged herself fully. “Come join me.”
“No.”
“No?” She looked up at him. His face had slipped back into his neutral mask. He was her bodyguard again, her highly trained security expert. “Why not?”
“I could lose my job.”
“I would rehire you. Besides, who would ever know? It is just you and me and the moonlight.”
“No.”
“But you want to?” She swam closer to him.
“This is not about what I want. This about what is right.”
“Is it wrong to come swimming with me?”
“It is when you are naked as the day you were born.”
“Why? It’s just skin. It’s just a body. Everyone has one. What’s the difference between swimming with me now and swimming with me at the beach the other day?”
“You know damn well what the difference is.”
“I don’t. You held me close that day. You ran your hands all over my body, my legs were wrapped around your waist, your lips touched my ear as you spoke into it. Our eyes connected. We were close.”
“It was hard for me that day,” he said, swallowing.
“Because you didn’t want to touch me?”
“Because I wanted to touch you too much.”
“So touch me.”
“I can’t, because unlike before, there are no other people around. It’s just you and me and the moonlight, like you said. There’s no one to stop me. There’s no one to keep things from going too far. I’m only a man, you see. I’ve only got so much self-control. I cannot cross that line with you tonight, because there is no going back. You’re hurting right now. You want something to take your mind off your troubles and you can’t use me that way, because you’ll get back to your life and you might regret this. And I don’t want to live as one of your regrets.”
She was quiet for a moment, trying to absorb all he had said. She was sad. She did want to distract
herself from her thoughts, but . . . but.... She wouldn’t regret swimming with a beautiful man in the moonlight. She would never regret the feel of his hard body against hers, or the way his beautiful brogue was like balm to her soul. She didn’t want to use him. She wanted to give as much to him as he had given to her.
“How could I regret something that would make me happy?”
He sighed and stood up, stripping off his clothes. Her eyes widened as she got a full view of his erection. She grew aroused every time he got near her, but this time she felt a hard throbbing between her legs.
“I live to make you happy,” he said before he backed up, took a running start and cannonballed into the pool. His splash was huge, completely soaking her.
He remerged, his hair slicked down on his head. He grinned at her and she was stunned for a moment. His smile was so beautiful. She had seen him smile at his friends over the past few days, but this was the first time she was a recipient of his smile. How had she ever thought of him as cold? How could she have not seen the man who was there just beneath the surface?
“I’ll race you to the other side of the pool,” he said before taking off. She followed him. They didn’t touch that night, but she couldn’t recall another time she’d had so much fun.
Chapter 8
The next morning when Cullen got up, his house was empty. He had suspected that Wyn went to the community house to make breakfast for everyone like she usually did. He was tempted to follow her there, but he stayed behind at his house.
He needed space from her.
They had spent nearly all of last night together, not rolling around in bed as he had sometimes dreamed about, but swimming, playing in that warm pool of water. Neither of them dressed. He had been naked in front of his fair share of women, but this time he felt even more exposed, stripped down.
He enjoyed himself with her. Enjoyed himself in a way he hadn’t with any other woman and he hadn’t laid a single hand on her.
At first it had been torture, seeing her naked body glide through the water, seeing the way she looked at him, with a kind of innocent expectation. He was never a man who was easily convinced. He could never be manipulated. It was what made him good at his job when he was working for British military intelligence. But he had a difficult time saying no to her. He didn’t like looking into her eyes and denying her. Last night he had wanted to give in and throw every one of his principles away and just make her feel however she wanted to feel.
But he was still on the job, working for her father. He owed some loyalty to the man, but it was getting harder and harder to stay loyal to someone who was purposely hurting the person they were supposed to love the most.
He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Bates. The man picked up immediately.
“What it is, Whelan?”
“Wynter wants to go back to D.C.”
“What? She can’t go back there. The media is still swarming. Another letter has been released and I’m nowhere near finding out where the leak is coming from.”
“I could track that that information for you, sir. My background is—”
“I’m fully aware of what your background is, but your job is to take care of my daughter.”
“She’s upset, sir. You can’t expect her to sit still and wait until you issue the order that everything is okay.”
“Wynter will do as she is told.”
“Respectfully, sir, I’m not so sure about that. Your daughter is her own person. She wants to speak to you.”
“I have nothing to say to her.”
“You owe her a conversation.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do. You work for me and that can change in a heartbeat.”
“You’re going to fire me? For what? Asking you to speak to her? I’ve been with her for a year. She trusts me and right now she’ll listen to me a lot faster than she’ll listen to you. I could tell her some things.”
“What exactly are you saying?”
“I’ll put her on the first plane back to the states,” he lied. “I’m sure you can find someone to replace me within a few hours.”
“Are you blackmailing me?”
“You damn politicians are so full of secrets, you think everyone is out to get you. I don’t want anything from you.” He paused, trying to calm himself. “I can’t look at her being so upset. It wasn’t in my job description.”
Bates actually laughed. “You can’t handle an emotional woman? I know the feeling. I’ll double your salary. That’s more money than anyone like you could ever dream of making.”
“It’s not about the money. Just talk to her. Reassure her. Hell, lie to her if you have to, but she wants to hear from you.”
“I can’t,” he said quietly. “I could never bear to see her in pain. I can’t hear it in her voice. It’s the one thing I’m not capable of. You’re right. She not a baby anymore. I can’t fix this with a pony or an expensive trinket. She won’t take a simple explanation from me and I can’t lie to her.”
“So, you want me to deal with her pain.” It wasn’t a question. It was what he was telling him to do.
“Yes. You don’t love her. It won’t hurt you the same way.”
Cullen’s stomach tightened. Maybe he didn’t love Wynter like her father did, but there were feelings there and seeing her in pain bothered him more than he could express.
He ended his call, showered and dressed before heading to the community house. It was a very late start for him. It was nearly noon, but he and Wynter had stayed out nearly all last night and when he got back he slept soundly. The only thing that could have made his rest even better was if he could have shared his bed instead of sleeping alone. When he walked up to the house, he spotted Wynter sitting at the counter with Jack. It wasn’t the smiling, flirty conversation he was used to seeing Jack have with a woman, but a serious one. That made him more concerned than if they had been flirting. He had tried to push his jealousy away. It was jealousy. He was man enough to admit it.
Jack was probably a better match for Wynter. His father was a four-star general. His mother was the daughter of a former vice president. He was from a better family, highly educated and highly respected. No one would think twice if the two of them turned up as a pair.
Cullen was from pig-shit Irish. Raised by a drunk. A school dropout who only got his education because he was lucky enough to get into the military. He didn’t deserve to sit at the same table as Wynter Bates and yet he wanted more than just to sit at the table with her. He wanted more than just to take her to bed. He wanted to drink up every part of her like he was a dehydrated man and she was the only thing to keep him from dying of thirst.
She must have felt his eyes on her, because she looked up at him and smiled. “Hello, sleeping beauty.” She got up from the stool and walked over to him, taking his hand and immediately walked around to the side of the house.
“What’s the matter?” he asked her.
“Nothing.” She cupped his face in her soft hands and pulled his lips toward hers. He couldn’t think for a moment. The anticipation of kissing her had wiped his mind clean. There was a deepness to her kiss, a passion that he hadn’t expected. It drew him in, made him unable to pull away, unable to do anything except return her kiss. He grew aroused immediately. His hands closed around her waist and suddenly he felt too hot in his clothes. He wanted to strip them off, strip her bare, but he remembered who he was and where he was and where he had come from.
He broke the kiss. Her lips were pink and swollen and she sighed. She was killing him.
“What the hell was that for? You’re only supposed to be kissing me in public and you are never supposed to kiss me like that.”
“I don’t want you thinking that was for show. I want you to know that I’m kissing you because I want to. Because I needed to.”
He let out a long breath and pressed his forehead against hers. “Why do you need to kiss me this morning?”
“Were you on the phone with my father this mo
rning?”
He hesitated for a moment before answering. “You overheard?”
“Not everything, but enough.” She kissed his chin. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You care.”
“No one wants to see anyone else hurting.”
“That’s not true. The world is full of people who don’t care about anyone else’s pain, much less would do anything to prevent it.” She kissed down his neck and he shut his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips on her skin.
He had to push her away, but he didn’t want to. Not yet. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him like this. Maybe no one ever had. Maybe he hadn’t allowed them to.
“What were you and Jack talking about?”
“His family.”
“You were?” Jack wasn’t one to reveal much to any of them. But he was sharing with Wynter. He couldn’t blame him. It was the way she looked at a person while she was listening. With her head tilted and her eyes focused and full of understanding. She was the type of woman who could make a man spill state secrets. He thought only Jazz had had that power, but Wyn had it in a different way.
“Our parents know each other. I’ve had dinner at his house in Maryland when I was a kid. Clearly, I didn’t bring that little tidbit up.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Do you think he knows who I am?”
“Not yet. Stop talking to him.”
“Stop talking to him? I can’t just stop talking to him.”
“Of course not. You’re too gracious for that. He likes you. All my friends like you.”
“Not Jazz.”
“She doesn’t trust you.”
“Is there anything I can do to change that?”
“Besides leave? No.”
“You won’t let me go.”
He shook his head. “I won’t let you go.” Not yet. He couldn’t.
“I’m assuming you didn’t get any further with my father. He still won’t speak to me?”
“He doesn’t want to face you.”
The sadness crossed her face and it hit him in the gut. He understood her father, but he still didn’t understand how someone could be so without honor. How he could refuse to face her.
